I. Satiated
I have been reaching
Digging and dredging
Hunting and gathering
My hands are empty
My head is full
My body aches
My heart pounds faster, faster, faster
I’m always giving
Providing everything
Such a bountiful feast
My blood
My tears
My love
How wonderful, don’t you think?
You’ve gorged your weight
What have I left after?
I’m left starving
II. Encapsulated
Like an insect that’s been captured, killed, and cleaned
I’ve been cast in resin – for your collection
Like countless women before me, I’ve been frozen in time
Neglected and forgotten once obtained
You’ll show your friends your newest specimen
They’ll marvel at my beauty
Golden hair, curly and preserved
Porcelain skin, flawless – blue eyes, deep and longing
You’ll set me along with other relics of the past
Set your sights on someone new
Will she get to see those that came before her?
Will you regal her with tales of the troubles we caused?
Will she figure out her fate?
Do you revisit your assortment of samples?
When you’ve been drinking?
When you’re alone?
Do you fantasize about the days, weeks, months
Of stalking, scheming, and planning?
Do you get excited when you recall how easy it was?
Do you have momentary regrets?
Does your newest target lack what others had?
Will you grow tired of this hobby?
Will you show remorse for these innocent creatures?
Will you find yourself hunted someday?
III. setting myself on fire
After immeasurable moments of suffering
There’s nothing left I can do
I must set myself on fire
Gathering oak, pine, or birch wood
I’ll create a funeral pyre
I’ll rise from beneath these ashes
With poise and grace
I’ll stand among the glowing embers
The traces of past lives
Renewed and without fear
I’ll begin a new life
The light that I lost, the coals that quit burning – ignited once more
All past scars from
Former lovers
From former mistakes
No longer shown on my skin
