Nikki Beatnik is a trailblazing DJ, producer, and the powerhouse behind Mums That Rave a community and event series that’s redefining what it means to be a mother in the entertainment industry. From spinning at exclusive parties worldwide to creating a safe, inclusive space for moms to let loose and connect, Nikki’s journey is a testament to resilience, creativity, and the power of following your passion. In this interview, she shares how her experiences as a DJ and mother inspired her to create Mums That Rave, her strategies for balancing career and motherhood, and the importance of challenging stereotypes in the music industry. Nikki’s story is a reminder that with determination and a love for what you do, you can break barriers and create something truly impactful.
What Motivated you to start Mums That Rave and how did your experience as a DJ Producer influence this project?
I have been a DJ since I was a teenager, throwing raves and day parties and then became successful in London in my early 20’s as a DJ. Since then I have spun all over the world, in 70 countries on 6 continents, parties for celebs like Beyonce & Jay Z, JLo, Guiseppe Zanotti, Ronnie Wood from The Rolling Stones and events like the British Fashion Awards and F1 as well as countless festivals since around 2003. I was also travelling to spin in Ibiza, Dubai and then I started tour DJing and putting together shows for artists like Kelis as well as songwriting and producing records, so my career has been long and full of many very high high’s and also many crazy escapades. I kinda put off being a Mum as it never felt like the right time, right relationship and also women in music are told that their careers are more or less over if you have kids, something that is slowly changing with more representation, but is still facts for most self employed Mums in the industry.
I DJ’d and toured right up until 4 days before I went into labour so I figured I would just have my son, pop him out and be back in the club the following week. However I had a nightmare birth, lost 4 pints of blood, almost died and had an emergency C- section under a general anaesthetic and was unable to walk on my own for 6 weeks. It was a traumatic start to motherhood and then add in the pressure and shock of not being able to make money for the first time ever or being able to just go do my gigs was so real but I also had a lot of time in bed to be on social media. I looked for my “Mum tribe” as a new Mum but I couldn’t see much representation of Mums like me. I was always saying to Kelis “I wanna do something for Mums, I just don’t know what” so I had in mind a youtube channel or something along those lines, then one day at one of my other London parties (Iwent back to club DJing as soon as I could walk again in my big c- section pants, pumping breast milk before I went to work) I had a conversation with another Mum about doing a day party for Mums and long story long. Mums That Rave was born and shortly after the first Rave happened during the dsy at the Iconic Ministry of Sound in London. My mission statement is “If You Cant See it, be it” that is what I have always done in my career, so now it’s for the other Mamas too.
Can you share a personal story about motherhood and your career and how it inspired the creation of Mums That Rave ?
I was out on 2 tours the whole time I was pregnant and I just thought oh this is fine I will just keep working and keep DJing the same once I have the baby, however my husband is an actor and was away for huge amounts of time for the past 10 years so much of the day to day childcare and mental load was on me plus still trying to run a business and keep up with my counterpart DJ’s who didn’t have kids. I also wasn’t ready for the fact that quite a few of the brands I would regularly DJ for just stopped using me once I was a Mum. It could be coincidence but I have heard similar stories from other Mum DJ’s and radio presenters. I wasn’t really ready for that to happen. I went from being the higher wage earner in the family to stay at home Mum / Dj which was a very weird transition. SO now with Mums That Rave we always kick off each event with a panel chat from Mums in Music, TV, the Arts, Business, Fashion, beauty, sports all giving their own experiences and tips on how to navigate motherhood in all stages from newborn to menopause. The very first Mums That Rave was an extension of my experience throwing parties and running club nights forever in London but with the panel and now almost 50,000 Mums from all over the world following, it has become so much more than just the average party. My career as a pioneering female dj starting in the 90’s and the misogyny I faced running clubs and touring has all inspired the safe space I wanted Mums That Rave to be
How did you overcome the prejudice and discrimination you encountered in your career, particularly being a mother?
I don’t actually know if we ever overcome it. I have personally taken all the knock backs and negative experiences and kept going. No idea why or how really when I look at some of the crazy insane situations I have been in. As a woman in music you are definitely labelled as difficult, loud, bossy or a bitch and dont book more jobs with brands or tours if you are very vocal and stand up for yourself. I would say you have to be ready to walk away from any job at any time if you are in danger or its peak anxiety. Also I would say that working in music as a DJ and producer (women are still only around 4% of producers) is the roughest most unprotected unregulated part of the music industry. I have dealt with physical violence in clubs, assaults – sometimes by other male djs, sexual assaults, being spat on, you name it and then on tours, being talked down to constantly by tech guys, mansplained to and men taking credit for my work as well as being the only woman quite often, its the wild west and I have not see it get much better in the 3 decades I have been a DJ and their is no union or regulations. There is more visibility of female DJs but nothing is really getting that much better. For Mums, multiply all of this x 100 and add in ageism and the fact that women DJs generally are pressured to look a very specific way now as DJ’s – it’s a bit of a hot mess and something the men don’t really experience. I know lots of Mums who give up because it’s just too hard hustling, being out out networking, I myself find it bloody impossible too with my partner away filming. It is definitely made almost impossible for Mamas to continue.I know it is hard for Mamas in general working and Mum’ing so I am very conscious about posting about Mums all the time on the Mums That Rave socials and also having only Mums on our panel talks.
What role does mental health play in your life and career and how do you maintain a balance amidst the challenges
I feel like mental health has become a big thing in the last few years, more people talking about it and social media has helped with that. It made me realise there were absolutely zero provisions for us in music and as DJ’s and it was literally sink or swim. Still no one gives a toss how DJs or artists are really, you must just get on stage and do the thing and that’s that. I also realised that me not being a people pleaser has served me well over the years as I was always that person who would o an irish exit if I was tired after a dj set, I never took and drugs which made me a party pooper in some music circles and I had no problem sticking up for myself if pushed or saying no to people or things that didn’t feel right. I now realise that it did make my progress slower but it also saved me from so many dodgy situations.
I can’t lie, I do get anxiety if I know I am rolling to a club or event on my own just because of past dangerous situations I would always do a recce first, figure out where Im parking, or getting picked up, how safe I will be, so that can be stressful and I have recently spoken to other women DJs who said they also suffered from anxiety in clubs. It’s just not set up for women to be honest. WHen I look back on me and my friends, all women running parties in the 90’s and some of the stuff that happened, I can laugh now but it’s a wonder we are all still OK! So mental health is incredibly important, I safeguard mine by a lot of silence and alone time when I am not working and also I post about it a lot on the Mums That Rave instagram and talk about it often with panelists as Mums mental health is fragile !! We have so much mental load at any given time, it’s a lot for anyone. Talking about it helps and I think the happier Mum is, the happier the kids so for me raving and doing my job still and smashing it, is integral to my mental health. When I am on stage im like “Oh YEAH THIS is who I am”
Can you describe a memorable moment from one of your parties or panel talks that stood out to you?
Oh my goodness, I’ve thrown 19 Mums That Rave day raves since 2019 so there are so many moments. When the whole MTR Crew sang me Happy Birthday and brought me out a cake, that was so lovely for me personally as I try not to make it about me, it’s about the panel and the ravers but to know they care about me too, is amazing. Last year I had my good friend Terri Walker who is a legendary r&b singer come and perform at one of the parties. She’s not a Mumand she had never been to Mums That Rave. She was standing in the dj booth with me about to perform our record together and she looked out at the crowd of Mamas, I dropped some Drum & Bass and the whole place went crazy and she teared up off the energy of hundreds of Mums all smiling dancing, jumping around, she looked over a t me and I teared up too and had goosebumps as the energy was just off the charts and she said “Oh My Gosh Nikki, THIS IS AMAZING” and I replied “I Know right”? That is the Mums That Rave effect. There is something special about a room full of Mums raving on a Saturday afternoon, all supporting each other and going hard. It is magic.
How do you handle the pressure of breaking stereotypes and changing the narratives around Mum life and career aspirations?
I handle it by blocking and deleting the miserable C U Next Tuesdays who come on our instagram, tik tik, facebook trying to bring the vibe down or saying negative things about Mums being out. It seems to annoy men in particular but there are also some judgey women too. I always think to myself ‘It’s fine babe, just keep scrolling it’s not for you’, but people love to be keyboard warriors so the block buttons come in handy. Then I also relentlessly post positive upbeat fun stuff daily on our pages to challenge the stereotypes and also lots of videos of our parties with Myns raving like there is no tomorrow. I truly believe that Mums need this space, a very safe space to dress up, or come in your jeans and fav trainers, dance, meet other Mums who love a big tune (we play everything from hip hop classics to house, dancehall and drum and bass) and just forget all the responsibilities for a few hours between 2-6pm on a Saturday afternoon. I have been told by our Mums that they go home so elated and it makes them happy for months after. Mums of all ages too, you could be a Mum at 20 and then what? You aren’t supposed to have fun any more? I am not having this narrative. I also believe that dancing, raving and music is spiritual and good for mental health. Mums That Rave is really just a metaphor for all the things we are told, as Mums that we shouldn’t be doing any more and 2 fingers up to it!
What impact have you seen Mums That Rave have on the community of women you work with?
I’ve seen amazing things happen, from Mums saying they literally changed their lives from the day after, cutting their hair, getting a new look, applying for that job they didn’t think they could- and starting it, to tears on our panel and from our audiences and so much joy, to dozens of messages daily in my DM’s saying that MTR is their fav page to Mums starting new businesses and being invited on podcasts & radio shows by other panelists. It is actually its own mini economy now and an amazing place for Mums to network in a non cheesy way. I feel very proud that so many opportunities for Mums have been created, that has always been my goal, to put other women on.
How do you stay motivated and inspired while managing both your career and your role as a mother?
I have no choice mainly 🙂 I tend to sleep on any problems and if I have had a disappointing day, which happens often when you are self employed, I sleep on it and next day I am ready to fix whatever obstacles there are. I also think about how lucky I am to be my own boss when many women before me and even now can’t be and the freedom to execute all my creative ideas and see them come to life. That is quite special. I also love love love being a Mum, best thing I have ever done so I am grateful every day for it.
What advice would you give to other women who face similar challenges in balancing their career ambitions with motherhood?
If you have something you really want to do, an idea, something you want to change, just start and before you are ready, you can learn as you go. You can also pivot and reinvent yourself at any time. Don’t listen to other people’s definitions of you. YOU define yourself and do not listen to society’s preconceptions of motherhood or age or what women should be doing at what stage, its all bull$hit, you will never be this young again so just frikking start. Being a Mum means you have a very extensive skill set you can apply to many things, be proud of that and small steps every day and consistency is key! I also need to take my own advice lol !
How do you create a sense of community and inclusivity at your events and within your online platform?
It starts with me and my vibe. I want Mums That Rave to show all types of Mums, all ages, all backgrounds and not just one box for motherhood. I want it to be genuinely friendly and welcoming so I am genuinely friendly and welcoming. At the start of each MTR I personally say hi to as many Mus as possible, especially the solo racvers, of which we have many, to make Mamas feel at home. The fact we start with a panel talk just breaks the ice and gives Mamas a platform to chat so that everyone feels included and can empathise with panelists, I also do really funny quick fire questions for the crowd and panel which creates a vibe. Online I try to post something for everyone but along the lines of raving and motherhood, dancing, dressing up, I have a very strong identity for the brand that is my vision so I stick to that and always always with a sense of humour. I love laughing. Also I try to keep it all very positive and not mean, just a “piss take” as we say in the UK. My #1 goal is for any Mum from any walk of life, to feel welcome and see themselves on our pages and on the panels and most importantly- on the dancefloor.
Can You share any strategies or practices that have helped you manage stress and maintain your well being.
Number 1 is a dog. Dogs make everything 100% better and getting out walking with my dogs has always made me feel good, better. Learn what your own stress triggers are and avoid them, if you can and start saying no to things that you don’t want to do. Also for me, I realised the busier I am with work and gigs the happier I am as a Mum, so I like to be in a club or in Cannes Djing in a full outfit one day and then back on the school run the next so balance is key and having your own goals and things you love outside of Mum life.
What are some misconceptions about being a mother in the entertainment industry that you would like to address?
It used to really piss me off that the only representation of Mums in entertainment were Mums that would announce their pregnancy then go missing for months then pop up a size tiny like nothing ever happened. The only Mums I remember seeing pregnant and visible was Neneh Cherry, back in the day, pregnant and dressed fly- not in the usual pregnancy wear but the same fly clothes she would wear when she wasn’t pregnant, looking amazing. I feel like Rihanna took that baton and ran with it. She is doing great things for women in music in general breaking stereotypes and being loud and unapologetic. Also, you cannot do it all, so pick and choose wisely things where you earn your peas but you aren’t running yourself ragged.
How do you envision the future of Mums That Rave and its impact on the entertainment industries?
I would love Mums That Rave to get bigger and bigger, with loads more Mamas worldwide, to tour the parties in the US Australia, Europe and beyond bringin the whole vibe of the party and panel and for us to be so big and represent so loudly that the industry has to take notice of us and all Mums.
What future goals do you have for yourself and for Mums That Rave and how do you plan to achieve them?
For myself as a DJ producer and songwriter I would love to tour my own artists and shows more, as I have spent years music directing other artist shows and I feel like I have a great catalogue of music to do that now, it’s also a super dope show. FOr Mums That Rave I want to build more content, I have a lot of ideas, a podcast and touring and at some point I am gonna need help with a team around me as it is a lot for one Mum doing all the school runs and after school activities but I am on it, so watch this space…
IG: @djnikkibeatnik and @mumsthatrave
