Kristy Nicolle’s journey in creating “I Am Arcana” is an inspiring testament to the power of creativity, resilience, and self-discovery. Drawing from her deep connection with Tarot and her personal experiences with chronic illness, Kristy has crafted a collection that not only explores the mystical but also offers solace to those grappling with their own pain and struggles. Her work reflects a profound understanding of both the light and dark sides of life, encouraging readers to embrace their true selves and find strength in their vulnerabilities. Through this project, Kristy hopes to inspire others to trust their intuition, find their voice, and transform their challenges into creative expression.
- What inspired you to create “I Am Arcana,” and how did your personal experiences influence this project?
I’ve always been fascinated with Tarot, and ever since my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome diagnosis 8 years ago I’ve started to embrace my spiritual side way more. For me, writing a poetry collection about this form of divination was a natural extension of my fantasy series as most of my readers love the mystical. I also feel like this was the perfect short form of my writing that is perhaps more accessible than my regular work for people looking for something short and sweet.
- Can you share a moment or challenge from your journey that significantly impacted the creation of “I Am Arcana”?
When I settled on the Major Arcana cards as the focus for the collection, it took me a while to work out what each card meant to me personally. It was definitely an exercise in understanding myself and the changes I’ve undergone in the last five or so years spiritually which I’d been great at avoiding until writing this collection. This, of course, led to periods of deep introspection which often felt like seriously uncomfortable writer’s block, but in retrospect I realise were simply part of the process. Usually, I write fiction that spans 160-200k words, so writing something so short and having it take such a long time was different if not frustrating experience at times.
- How does your Tarot-themed collection aim to offer solace to those experiencing pain and struggle?
As with all my work, I always aim to give back to readers what so many of my favourite writers have given me; an escape from the pain of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and the anxiety and depression that come along with. I feel like the Major Arcana have been such a long-standing influence in our culture, and I loved being able to explore their meanings to me personally as well as trying to apply the cards to wider themes that affect modern people. I have enjoyed hearing reader’s experiences and how so many of the poems resonated.
4. What personal struggles or experiences have shaped your approach to writing and creating content for “I Am Arcana”?
My experience with chronic pain and invisible illness was a huge factor in the production of this collection. I realised after I started working on the Major Arcana that while tarot seems so familiar, it is also representative of societal shame, of things we know to be true but are too scared to accept or openly embrace, of that mystical place where destiny rules and human influence is second in terms of power. Tarot, along with many aspects of paganism, have been swept under the rug or downright persecuted so often throughout history, and even now I get people telling me that they’re interested in these things but afraid what people will think if they start to show or explore that interest. This to me also resonated strongly with invisible disability, with chronic pain, with the parts of human experience that aren’t glamorous or instagrammable but are instead raw and painful to both witness and experience. Tarot says what we’re afraid to hear and exposes what we refuse to look at, whether you believe they are messages from some higher power or simply a window into the subconscious to better help you hear your own intuition, Tarot is the dark side of the moon. Because of this, creating this collection meant I had to confront a lot of my own shame, a lot of my own anxiety, and start to confront my lack of faith in a very raw way. It was both transformative and destructive, but I came out the other side glad for the experience.
- How do you balance your creative work with your personal life and mental health?
This might be the biggest struggle for me. I go through periods of forced rest quite often due to symptom flare ups but am also a self-diagnosed workaholic. After eight years of being a writer and one serious bout of burnout that lasted over two years, I’m better at balance than I was, but it’s still an ongoing battle. I try to stick to a schedule of writing between 10 and 15k a week depending on my pain levels but am also trying to prioritise y health a little more these days in the hopes that this will mean long term I can get more published.
- Can you describe a specific challenge you faced while working on “I Am Arcana” and how you overcame it?
I think making sure each Major Arcana card had its own unique theme and feel was a challenge toward the end. Because Tarot is so interpretive and many of the cards have multiple meanings or subjective themes, it becomes easy to overlap them once you’ve been through almost the entire roster of cards. I wanted to make sure the reader came away with a definitive idea of what each Major Arcana was about, so after I got about 80% of the way through writing the collection I went back through and started categorising poems by theme rather than associated card. This meant when I got to the last few cards I was able to be as precise as possible to make sure they were represented as equally unique as the first cards I explored.
- How do you stay motivated and inspired when working on projects that aim to provide comfort and guidance to others?
I get so much inspiration from other spiritually empowered women who share their journeys with me, as well as the many chronically ill individuals I encounter daily. So many of these women have suffered for years and used books and poetry for solace to find their strength again just like I have. It felt amazing to be able to give back into these spaces after benefitting so much from them for years, so it was easy to stay motivated and inspired, I just had to look at the women around me.
- What role does self-care play in your creative process, and how do you ensure you maintain your well-being?
Self-care for me very much ties into spiritual practice and enrichment, so I will often meditate daily as well as practicing with tarot or other pagan rituals to bring myself to a place of calm. I also enjoy a strict regime of physiotherapy and stick to a generous sleep schedule to manage my fatigue. This allows me a lot of time to disconnect from social media as well, which means my mind is freed up to work on creative problems and projects.
- How do you manage any pressures or expectations that come with creating work intended to support others?
As I’ve become more experienced with publishing and creating on a regular basis, I’ve found it’s important to listen to your intuition and remember that once a project is complete and out in the world it no longer belongs to you. It belongs to the readers. I try to listen to my gut and ignore outside chatter such as news and social media that can bring in a critical, comparative, or self-doubting mindset.
- What advice would you give to other women who are looking to create projects that offer emotional support or guidance?
Trust yourself. If you’re being passionately called to create material that supports and guides others it means you already have what it takes.
- How has working on “I Am Arcana” impacted your own mental health and personal growth?
The feedback I received on this as my first poetry collection was truly staggering and more positive than I could have hoped for. The project was initially a lot of introspection and examination of myself and my self-limiting beliefs, but I have found after publishing that the collection has made me a little bit more confident and given me a push to try and work on more collections like this one. It’s definitely been a positive experience and I’m grateful to all the people who took the time to read, promote, and give feedback.
- Can you share any habits or practices that help you stay grounded and focused during challenging times?
Therapy, meditation, and exercise. I know it sounds obvious, but therapy has been a game changer for me alongside meditation. Therapy made me aware of my subconscious, limiting patterns, and meditation has provided me with a gap between these mental patterns and acting on them, giving me more autonomy and a feeling of empowerment. I also partake in light exercise regularly which helps me burn through any anxiety I might be feeling and helps keep my joints and ligaments strong which helps with EDS.
- How has your understanding of your own struggles and pain influenced the themes and messages in “I Am Arcana”?
I think for me ‘I Am Arcana’ carries a spirit of positivity. I’m not talking about toxic positivity where we slap a smile on and pretend everything is okay, but I have dealt with my pain and struggles through finding genuine silver linings and looking at the situation through a more inspiring lens if there is one to be found, which I’ve discovered there usually is. I feel like ‘I Am Arcana’ largely addresses pain and suffering with the caveat that there is always a choice in how we react, and that change is always possible if we’re willing to be open minded and committed to getting the best from ourselves. It also explores utter acceptance of your true self, and how letting go of judgement and expectation can be freeing rather than scary.
- What message do you hope to convey through “I Am Arcana,” and how do you want it to impact your readers?
I would like to think that the message of ‘I Am Arcana’ varies depending on what people need most when they read it. I love poetry for that exact reason, because two people can read the same thing and come away with entirely different interpretations. This is also very much in the spirit of tarot, because for me usually tarot readings give you what you need to hear at the time even if you don’t fully understand the reading when you receive it. Overall, I wanted the experience to feel supportive, inspiring, and empowering.
- What advice would you offer to other women pursuing creative projects with the aim of helping others through their struggles?
Believe in yourself. The biggest killer of works like this is self-doubt. If you’re feeling called to create inspiring creative projects, then simply begin and don’t look back, you never know where they might take you.
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