In a world where hustle culture is often equated with success, Joelle Moray’s “What Are We Doing?! Radical Self-Care for the Hustle Culture” emerges as a beacon of change. Joelle’s journey from corporate burnout to advocating for profound self-care is a testament to her resilience and insight. Her book is more than a guide—it’s a call to rethink our relationship with work and well-being. Drawing from personal struggles and professional observations, Joelle offers a refreshing perspective on how small, consistent changes can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Join us as Joelle shares her inspiring story of transformation and her vision for a future where self-care is a fundamental part of our daily routine.
- What inspired you to create “What Are We Doing?! Radical Self-Care for the Hustle Culture,” and how did your experiences in the corporate world influence this project?
The inspiration(s) for What Are We Doing?! Radical Self-Care for the Hustle Culture is a multi-faceted combination of my observations of colleagues, friends, and my own lived experiences. I began noticing a sort of pattern of high-achievement followed by periods of exhaustion. We didn’t use the ‘burnout’ but that’s precisely what was happening. - Can you describe a pivotal moment when you realized that the corporate hustle culture was negatively impacting your health and well-being?
We have pivotal moments in our lives that are smaller and often harder to notice; these are the tiny things that add up over time. Then we have pivotal events, which are larger and more meaningful (or harmful). Pivotal moments are when someone compliments us (e.g. “great job!”) or, conversely provides a criticism or feedback (e.g. “if you just focused more, you’d be more productive”). Pivotal events are more substantial, and they are things we sort of plot on the timeline of our lives such as a specific date and time, like when we are promoted, get a new job, or are fired. For me, it’s the combination of the two that negatively impacted me overtime. To point to one thing would oversimplify a complex process that occurs over time. - How did you develop your approach to self-care and create a sustainable alternative to the hustle culture?
I developed an approach to self-care that includes a holistic, integrated method that permeates every aspect of my daily life. By incorporating several small changes overtime, the ‘consistency and motivation’ factors become irrelevant, making way for changes that are easily sustainable and are as much a part of my daily routine as brushing my teeth or showering. - What are some of the key principles or practices you advocate for in your approach to radical self-care?
Some of the key principles for which I advocate for radical self-care include no technology an hour upon waking and an hour before bedtime; using an alarm clock instead of a device; daily meditation; exercise that easily fits your personal style; hydration; getting outside in nature; taking breaks throughout the day; and spending quality time with friends and community. This isn’t an exhaustive list, however if someone was to focus on only a few of these, taking breaks and spending time connecting with other people or being in community in some way are paramount. - What challenges did you face in promoting a counter-culture to the deeply ingrained hustle mentality?
Whenever we embark to affect systemic change, especially if it’s counter to the prevailing culture, we are going to be met with challenges. The biggest challenge with promoting the anti-hustle is how deeply some of the common practices are ingrained in our daily lives. Many people have a significant of resistance to setting boundaries with work, disconnecting while on vacation, and fighting the incessant need to respond instantly to messages. - How did your mental and physical health struggles shape your perspective and approach to self-care?
My mental and physical health struggles shaped my perspective and approach to radically caring for myself because I began to become disconnected from myself and completely unaware of how my lifestyle was affecting me. When I got shingles in my 30s, then crippling anxiety, then GI issues, I finally said, “enough.” There has to be a better way. Life isn’t mean to be lived like this.
- What strategies did you use to overcome resistance or skepticism from others about shifting away from hustle culture?
Whenever I am faced with resistance or skepticism, I invite the person to get curious about their resistance and to explore their values. Why are you so resistant to taking breaks? Why do you feel the urgent need for immediate response? Usually there is underlying fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgement (from the self or others), fear of being fired, or fear of something else. That fear can trigger the sympathetic response, throwing the person into fight-flight which then triggers either procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. There is a great values-based exercise in the book to help guide this.
- How do you balance advocating for radical self-care while still engaging with the demands and expectations of the modern work environment?
The way to advocate for radical self-care while still engaging with the demands and expectations of the modern work environment begins with having conversations. We need to have open and honest conversations about the benefits of the hustle culture, the drawbacks, boundary setting, and suspending judgement. The normalization of taking breaks and disconnecting regularly will help get us there.
- What advice would you give to women who feel overwhelmed by hustle culture but are unsure how to start prioritizing their well-being?
The best advice I would offer women who feel overwhelmed by the hustle culture and are unsure how to start prioritizing their well-being is to begin with curiosity. Why aren’t taking breaks and prioritizing your own health? What is your relationship to your job or to the stress? Why do you feel that you can’t set boundaries? What is the underlying driver for your decisions? After curiosity, then begin to give yourself permission to take breaks, press pause, and allow your brain the rest it needs.
- How do you stay motivated and inspired to continue your work in the face of challenges and societal pressures?
I stay inspired to continue my work in the face of challenges and societal pressures in two ways. Firstly, by practicing what I teach. I use an alarm clock, refrain from blue light engagement upon waking, I press pause throughout the day, and take larger breaks when needed. I also time block my calendar. It’s always ‘perfect’ and I’m continually evolving.
- What role does self-compassion play in your approach to self-care and how do you incorporate it into your daily life?
Self-compassion is vitally important because it’s our way of giving ourselves permission to care for ourselves whenever we need it in the ways that we need. I incorporate it into my daily life by not apologizing for my decisions and actions. If there is white space on calendar, it doesn’t mean I’m available during that time. Removing the “I’m sorrys” from my conversations and replacing it with “Yes, and…” is freeing. Instead of responding to a request with ‘I’m sorry, I’m not available then” with “Yes, I received your email and I’ll be happy to respond tomorrow when I’m at my computer.”
- How do you manage to maintain your own mental health while working on promoting and teaching radical self-care?
It’s important for anyone who works in a helping profession to learn to maintain their own mental health. I always say that your dentist has a dentist and should be the same for all of us. No matter what your profession is, you should have another professional who supports you. I regularly care for my mental health by consulting with other therapists, authors, and professional speakers. I constantly listen to podcasts and audio books on mental health as well. We can all learn something from each other.
- Can you share a success story or a positive outcome from someone who has embraced your self-care philosophy?
When I work with organizations on an ongoing basis, we assess their team(s) at the beginning, the middle, and the end of the program to measure their stress and anxiety. What we’re seeing is a decrease in overall stress, anxiety, and burnout, and an increase in engagement, retention, productivity, and morale. One success story that stands out is from an executive director at an organization with whom I’ve worked in a group setting. She routinely uses the Press Pause method and says that it has had a tremendous impact on both her professional and personal life by allowing her space to breathe; and she emerges from her micro-breaks ready for whatever else the days throws her way.
- What are some common misconceptions about self-care that you encounter, and how do you address them?
The most common misconceptions about self-care that I encounter are that radical self-care is sitting in lotus position chanting “om” or drinking copious amounts of wine or taking bubble baths. And while those things have their place, that is not what we’re talking about here. This is a profound daily practice that is as simple to execute as it is rebellious in its innovation.
- How do you envision the future of self-care practices in the context of evolving work cultures and societal expectations?
I envision the future of evolving work cultures and societal expectations to accept that there is space for both high-achievement and breaks. The biggest misconception about work is that it has to be one or the other: either massive productivity or a calmer pace to the day. My vision for the future is that it’s both, and that leisure time and deep, meaningful connection to oneself and others are the new status symbols of success.
