Jenny Garufi’s journey as a writer is a testament to the power of healing through creativity. From an early age, she found solace and expression in poetry, which later evolved into her transformative work, “Soulful Alchemy: Transformative Poems for the Soul.” Overcoming personal challenges such as childhood trauma, chronic illness, and profound grief, Jenny has used her writing not only to heal herself but also to inspire and help others. Her words serve as a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity of art to touch lives in meaningful ways.
What initially inspired you to start writing, and how did that lead to the creation of “Soulful Alchemy: Transformative Poems for the Soul”?
I have been writing as long as I remember. Poetry has always been a way to express myself. The earliest memory is my third grade teacher being so struck by a poem I wrote she had it read on the radio in NYC. In 7th grade a classmate died and I wrote a poem in 5 minutes that came through me and helped me to process. I remember the surprise in my teacher and myself as it came through.
I did not plan on publishing my poems. A few friends and one in particular, my friend Seana, a fellow author, kept suggesting I should publish. A lot of clients and friends have told me over the years my poems have helped them. After the third time Seana mentioned it, I decided to see how many poems I had written the last few years. I had 45 poems ready to be published and it felt like it would be selfish not to publish if any of my words could help others through this time.
Can you share more about how your writing has helped others heal? What kind of feedback have you received from clients and friends?
I have had many clients and friends say my poems helped things shift inside them. These include my poems on grief, which allowed a couple of clients to finally realize they still had to process grief around losing a parent. Also a few loved ones and clients realizing how much holding onto their own childhood sexual abuse stopped them from moving on. A few clients have also mentioned that my poems of gratitude, the chakras, oneness have helped them understand concepts on a different level. To feel more love and compassion for others and themselves.
Your personal journey includes overcoming significant challenges, such as childhood trauma, chronic illness, and loss. How have these experiences shaped your writing and overall outlook on life?
These have all helped me become the person I am today. Yes, amazingly beautiful experiences have shaped me too, but I have to say my biggest challenges have been the most transformative. Being ill for 7 years and in chronic pain gave me a lot of time to be still. When I was healing myself, I was truly looking at my self talk which offered a huge realization. I was beating myself up when I was ill. I felt like I wasn’t a “good enough.. daughter, wife, mother, friend…” Fill in the blank and I beat myself up about it. In healing myself in 3 weeks, I realized HOW powerful the mind is. As a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser, I wanted to scream from the rooftops that people could heal themselves and to please stop being so hard on themselves.
The sexual abuse, also contributed to that low self worth. It’s amazing that even if we are victimized by someone else we can be hard on ourselves. I know so many people face abuse sometime throughout their lives. When I found out my abuser passed, I had done decades of work on the past, but emotions still came up. A poem just came through me – I know when that happens it is not only to help me process but usually will help others too.
Being sole caregiver to my mom as she was ill and watching her pass was the hardest time of my life. She was my best friend, my biggest cheerleader and my example of unconditional love. She had encouraged my writing, dancing, cooking, my love of nature and me being truly me. I wrote a lot of poems to try and work through the grief and also some love letters to her. I did not know how to exist in a world without her daily calls and the laughs we shared. I had experienced grief before – close friends, my step-dad and many people I held dear but nothing was like this new profound level of grief. Writing was therapy for me and it also gave me a deeper understanding of what loved ones had been through that had lost partners and parents. Each of these life experiences made me empathize even more with the collective and all we have been through – separately but collectively as well. The pain, grief, abuse and survival is universal.
I feel my poems are inspired by that oneness and collective experience. My poems Sisters and Brothers, The Observer (Your Soul) are part of that. Poems that truly speak to how beautiful and amazing we ALL are. How we can tap into those realizations to heal from within and open our own power to help ourselves and others.
What role did writing play in your healing process, both physically and emotionally?
When I was ill writing was very different for me. I would go back and see I was writing about pain and how sad I was. In hindsight I know I told myself it was release but in reality I feel I was making it all that more real. Part of my healing process was switching my writing to writing about gratitude, about things I DID like about myself. That writing helped me to heal.
Emotionally writing – whether it be journaling or writing poetry has always been my way of processing emotions. When a poem comes through me in 5-10 minutes (as most do) I know it is me but something more than me. Something that needs to be expressed to help heal or shift me and the people who are drawn to read it.
Losing your mother, who was your best friend, must have been incredibly difficult. How did you cope with that grief, and did writing help you process those emotions?
This was the most difficult time of my life. I thought I was ready for her to go because she had been in pain and I wanted her out of it. But I can say when she left her body, the pain I felt was like no other. Like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I did not know how to cope, had grief dreams reliving that pain and every day felt like a chore. This was also during the beginning of Covid so my kids were home and I didn’t feel totally free to dive into how badly I felt, as I always wanted to seem strong to them through such a challenging time. They were also so close to my mom and were dealing with home schooling and missing their friends. One home from college and one from high school.
Writing allowed me to process. It allowed me to tap into that deep hurt and also to see grief as a form of love. I would not have been hurting so bad if I had not had such a deep love like I did and do for my mom. I know I was lucky to have such a relationship for 50 years and writing about it and love letters to her in the form of poetry helped transmute some of that grief back to love.
Can you tell us more about your journey from being chronically ill to healing yourself in just three weeks? What was that experience like?
I had been told I could never be healthy. I had been told I would wind up in a wheelchair. I had been told I would never be pain free again. I had 4 diagnoses and supposedly no way to heal. So, when I started to practice mindfulness and switching up my energy I had no thoughts of healing completely. I just felt, “Hey I haven’t tried this route – why not?”. I had a BA in psychology from Penn State and knew the power of the mind, but had forgotten. I had gone down the rabbit hole of giving my power away to doctors, and not listening to myself at all.
I began focusing on gratitude. I began focusing on my little finger, which was sometimes the only part of me not hurting. I began focusing on the things I COULD do – like read to my kids in bed instead of focusing on all the ways I felt like I was failing. I began to forgive myself and others for anything and everything and start being very mindful of every word I said to myself. I listened to audios, I read and watched videos of Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Carolyn Myss, Napoleon Hill, Eckhardt Tolle and started to realize I was very powerful, contrary to what I was being told. In 3 weeks I was off painkillers and felt better than I had felt in 7 years. I was amazed and also felt like a super hero in my own life. It is still what I am most proud of. If I had continued to listen to others, and not my own heart and mind, I have no doubt I would have wound up in that wheelchair or worse.
You’ve written about your experience with childhood sexual abuse. How did you find the courage to share such a deeply personal story, and what impact has it had on you and your readers?
Most of the friends I grew up with had no idea I was sexually abused. I hid it and it was something I felt very ashamed of. As I started to do the inner work and reflected on how that abuse informed what relationships I had and how it worked its way into dynamics in my relationships I knew it was important to share. I thought I had “done the work”. I knew my abuser was abused far “worse” than he abused me. I also know hurt people hurt people. In the US over 18% of women have been abused and over 1.5% of men. That is wide spread enough to know it effects people and is something, life grief, very uncomfortable to talk about.
I have had clients and loved ones tell me it helped them find forgiveness for their own abusers. I have had clients tell me it helped them see they had a lot more work to do on healing and this helped. I also had readers tell me they weren’t quite there yet with forgiveness but it gave them something to dive into and felt I was brave in addressing it. I feel like if my words and experience can help one person – they need to be shared.
After a divorce, you found love again and recently married after being together for 10 years. How has this relationship influenced your creative work?
This question made me smile. I had a list – 2 pages single spaced of everything I wanted in a partner when I met my now husband, Vinny. My, “He Is” List which I encourage my clients to write when looking for a partner. Yet when I met him I told him I could not commit as I was “writing my book” and couldn’t let anything get in the way. Well after 2 months of hikes and dinner dates I went and looked at my list and saw he was every single thing on it. He asked me to be his girlfriend and he actually helped so much with my writing process. He would ask me every day if I got some writing done and encourage me and believed in me. The love I have for him is so easy, fun, and deep. It helps me feel it is okay to be authentically myself 100% of the time. He helps me feel safe in a world where I know many feel anything but.
This helps my creative process. The way we cook together and move around the kitchen creating, the way we play games – it all is easy. I truly feel I can tell him anything and there will be no judgment. Vinny encourages my daily meditation and mindfulness practices which are integral to my work. I’ve never produced more than since I have been with him. I had my book published by Llewellyn in 2016, have my over 50 poems written in the last 5 years as well as my next book more than halfway done. He is my muse and also grounds me. He brings laughter, peace, fun, passion and the unconditional love I had only ever experienced from my mom. This relationship is a HUGE reason I can truly step into my power and my writing without hesitation. Leos love LOVE and this love is like nothing I have experienced before – it helps me in every area of my life.
What are some of the biggest lessons you’ve learned through your personal and creative journey?
To love myself. To not judge myself and be the constant investigative reporter of why every single thing has happened in my life. To move into acceptance and the present moment. I am involved with a program Self Worth Now that helps people embrace their self worth and there truly is nothing more important. We tend to judge ourselves so harshly and feel unworthy of having the life of our dreams. We are here on this planet during a time of dramatic change. We deserve all the kindness and support from ourselves for ourselves if we are to even think of helping others.
I often was like my mom, who loved to give, give and give some more. It took a while for me to learn to set healthy boundaries, to love myself enough to make healthy decisions in all areas of my life. The people I held closest, the food I put into my body, the exercise and spiritual practices needed to sustain and encourage me. To always to make time for ME, so I CAN show up for others in unconditional love. Not with some kind of subconscious exhaustion, sense of obligation or resentment. Taking time every day in nature, or with movement, in meditation and to think of these things as FUN, not work, but necessary for me to feel creative has been critical. I tell my clients the number one thing I prescribe is JOY – when we do what we love – (which for me is writing, dance/movement and nature) all else falls into place.
Mental health is a significant theme in your life and work. How do you maintain your mental well-being, and what advice would you give to others struggling with similar challenges?
It is necessary to quiet the mind so you can hear what your self dialogue is. Do things you love. Even if it is 5 minutes a day to dance or sing along with a favorite song, take some breaths in nature, write a gratitude list… it is necessary to check in with yourself and see how you are doing. Mindfulness IS key. Joy is key. When my mom passed I was lost – I spoke with her every morning to start my day. It led to me finally keeping up with a daily morning meditation practice. Something I had tried at for over a decade and not been able to maintain. As of today I am 1327 days into a daily meditation practice.
Assess the people closest to you and how much time you spend with them. If you are giving all the time, you will not have any energy left for you. Sometimes we need to set healthier boundaries with the people in our lives. We teach people how to treat us and if the people around are sued to us giving all the time, we might need to reassess and figure out how to bring in some self love and set healthy boundaries in love.
I am big on encouraging mindfulness exercises in the shower. It is a time that we usually all have alone to focus our minds on the present moment. That time and the time before we fall asleep and when we are waking up are all great times to take even a few moments to truly check in and ask yourself how you can show up for yourself. These times we have the subconscious dialed in and can truly make strides into our patterns and inner thoughts.
Above all, in this processing and reconfiguring be kind to yourself. We are all living through a very charged time. Be as gentle with yourself as you would a loved one or pet. This is not a race it is a journey. Each day show up for yourself wanting life to be a little bit easier but recognizing it is not a straight line and there will be challenges. Every moment is a choice to learn and to choose how we are reacting.
As someone who has faced and overcome so many challenges, what motivates you to keep going and continue creating?
My love of people. I know we have been through it. I know loved one and clients that have been through much worse than I have and are still standing. If I can make one person’s life a little easier – it is worth it. I have loved when I have gotten to lead and teach in a circle. Every single person has something to offer another. We all have similarities. We all have had grief, struggle, trauma. I love Ram Das’s quote that we are all walking each other home and believe in that. If my creations can help someone – how could I NOT share? I appreciate the people that have inspired and helped me and want to be that light for others. We all deserve a chance to be truly happy and overcome whatever we have been through to feel our inner power again.
How do you hope “Soulful Alchemy” will impact its readers? What do you want them to take away from your poems?
I hope this book empowers others. I hope it makes them feel not so alone. I hope it makes them feel there are ways to heal even the deepest of wounds and to know that they are not broken. We all have so many gifts and this deep connection to our souls, if we can turn off distractions and listen. I want people to take a deeper look inward and to feel the gratitude for their life instead of feeling they have to keep their guard up and cannot truly be 100% authentic. We all deserve to be 100% ourselves and share our gifts.
What advice would you give to other women who are facing their own personal struggles, whether it be with trauma, illness, or loss?
You are not alone. Please seek out help. However you feel most comfy seeking it. If it is an online support group. If it is journaling or expressive dance that helps you feel and shake off the trauma within. Know your life can look different starting today but it takes that self love and self worth to take those steps forward. You are not the culmination of your wounds unless you choose to stay in that place. Be gentle as you heal. It won’t all be better in a day. But if you begin showing yourself you do show up for yourself with healthy decisions – it WILL get easier. It begins with your mind and self talk.
Begin to truly listen to yourself and your inner dialogue. Trust your intuition, Hold your heart and ask yourself one step you can take today to bring some peace into your life – even if for 5 minutes. What is your body and soul calling for? A walk in nature? A hot shower? Calling a friend that makes you smile? Funny cat/dog videos? Do not judge but lean into what makes you feel good and does not cause you or others harm. Begin to think of yourself as your best friend and ask yourself what you would say to a best friend going through the exact same thing.
How do you balance vulnerability in your writing with protecting your own emotional well-being?
I’ve learned I need to be vulnerable to be authentic. As a recovering people pleaser of course that comes with some uncomfy feelings. But I know that the more you put yourself out there the more “haters” you will have and it is impossible for ANY one person to resonate with everyone. It is worth it for any person that tells me my work helped.
I remember when I blogged a lot getting hundreds of comments and 99% of them would be positive and I would focus on the 1% that were mean. We cannot do that if we are to move forward. Our stepping forward WILL trigger some people. We have to be okay with that at some level. As I type this there is an inner part squirming. LOL. No one likes to read disparaging comments about themselves but people are usually JUST as uncomfortable truly sinking into the kind words said about them. When we give ourselves permission to sink into the gratitude for the way we have helped and for our bravery stepping forward – the other stuff doesn’t matter as much.
Looking back on your journey, is there anything you would have done differently, or any advice you would give to your younger self?
Boy I would tell myself to lighten up! LOL. To love myself and not judge myself so harshly. To know it all works out and we learn from every experience. I would also tell myself t listen up when my intuitive hits came in. Boy THAT would have saved some sleepless nights! LOL But, I know in all – I have learned from every experience. I have been blessed by so many beautiful relationships and experiences in my life. I know if I had not had the challenging times, the amazing times would not have been as deeply felt in gratitude. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity to share. Thank you to Harness and all who help this platform inspire others!
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