In a world where understanding and acceptance often come too late, one woman’s journey from diagnosis to empowerment shines brightly. After years of feeling out of sync, the lockdown of 2020 became a catalyst for self-discovery and transformation. It was during this period of isolation that she stumbled upon the truth about her brain, a realization that would change her life and spark the creation of NeuroShiny. Her path from skepticism to acceptance, from feeling “different” to embracing her unique mind, reflects a story of growth and resilience. As she opens up about her experiences with ADHD, she not only challenges misconceptions but also extends a hand to others navigating similar struggles. This interview explores how her diagnosis became a beacon of hope, inspiring her to craft a message of self-compassion and community through NeuroShiny.
Can you share your journey of being diagnosed with ADHD in your 30s and how it inspired the creation of Neuroshiny?
I always knew there was something different in my brain to others. Knew I needed something, but not what. I muddled through until 2020, when lockdown hit, and confined to home and working from home I started to feel very stuck. Unable to go out and have fun, and for someone who’d never felt disruptive, I really missed talking in person in the office, having a wander to make a cup of tea and chat to someone to fritter away some time.
I hated home working at first, but after a few months I started to realise how gorgeous it was to have no commute, and how much more natural I felt in myself.
I still had cabin fever.
I went on tiktok and within about 4 videos they’d nailed me as someone with ADHD – which beforehand I’d have laughed off, said it’s just an excuse for kids to misbehave- how wrong I was!
It took me another year to ask for a referral, of self doubt, of thinking it wasn’t worth going for, a waste of resources, before I did it. And I’m so glad I did. And that’s part of why I wrote NeuroShiny. I don’t want anyone else to feel like they’re a waste. No one is.
What were some of the most surprising aspects of your ADHD diagnosis that impacted your life and work?
Life – the realisation that most of my friends probably have it too, the neurodivergent tend to attract each other as friends without realising it.
Work – how scared I was about telling work! I’d come out happily about pansexuality, but this felt like I could be a target, even though my workplace isn’t like that, you just never know when you move to different departments or one managers attitude. Luckily I’ve been well supported. I’ve grown in confidence as I’ve learned to trust my outlook and that my brain coming up with different ideas is a good thing. I’ve also realised working from home is likely a lifelong thing for me – I can unmask, I can take time if I need it, and I can ring a colleague if I want to disrupt them!
How has ADHD influenced your approach to NeuroShiny?
With previous projects I’ve been much harder on myself, very tunnel-visioned in my approach to get it done, even declining days out!
With this one the only reason I set a time limit to complete it was because I wanted to do other things afterwards (second poetry collection). I was much kinder to myself, and asked for help a lot sooner.
What challenges did you face while navigating your ADHD diagnosis and managing your mental health?
It is common for depression and anxiety to lesson or even disappear after diagnosis. I still have both but they’re definitely quieter, and now I can distill the thoughts to work out what i need.
Recently I’ve been trying to reach out and talk to friends as I’m terrible for being insular and thinking I can handle it all myself. This has definitely made things less challenging.
How do you integrate your personal experiences with ADHD into your work and the message of NeuroShiny?
This book was the most honest I’ve ever been in print. And I’ve shared a LOT. In the editing, I wanted to make sure it felt like you were talking to a friend, the friend who knew it all. I had several people who steered me along this journey and I wanted the feeling they left me with – heard and safe – to be in this book..hopefully I’ve managed it.
Can you describe a specific moment or realisation that led you to start NeuroShiny?
I had started noting my journey (mostly feelings and lists for diagnosis) and it felt like natural progression to share my story too, having written A Jar of Fury about my therapy for adult and childhood bullying, this felt like a sequel, a further empowerment.
What are some common misconceptions about ADHD that you aim to address through your work?
That someone with ADHD is lazy or being difficult. I’d love to have a clean home at all times or be a social butterfly, but I don’t have the capacity for everything. Something has to be dropped, and I value my own time and replenishing my batteries.
How do you maintain your mental well-being while managing the demands of your project and personal life?
This is a great question. So often I compare myself to more prolific writers who have full time jobs and other creative things on the go, but this only leads to sadness! Making time to be a human, see friends, play video games, is so helpful. You can’t work 24/7, and usually it’s going out, or gaming, that helps with writing as my brain comes up with ideas when it’s occupied well.
What advice would you give to other women who are newly diagnosed with ADHD or are struggling with mental health?
Read my book! In all seriousness, be kind to yourself. You have to live with you so make the brain as nice a place to be as possible. Indulge what you love, don’t care about how silly or childish it is. If people don’t like it – tough, they don’t deserve space in your life and calendar! Women are powerful and our woes come when we forget it for whatever reason, mental health or ADHD.
What role does community support play in your journey and how do you foster a supportive environment through NeuroShiny?
It plays a huge role that I don’t give it enough credit for. I’m in a whatsapp group full of people like me, and a couple of Facebook groups, and have friends I can speak to. It is brilliant to read others’ experiences and perspectives that I’d never thought about, and have people who ‘get it’ to rant to. NeuroShiny is building its own community as more people read it and talk about it. I love it.
Can you share any strategies or tools that have been particularly helpful for managing ADHD in your daily life?
I dont function without to-do lists. If it isn’t written, it isn’t happening. But deeper than this, to not get overwhelmed, I split it into now/later/today or if it’s a longer- wait thing, pick a day in the calendar to add it. It works for me. My advice is find what helps you do what you have to, and don’t feel ashamed of it. You’ll save a lot of time!
Instagram: @dawnislosingtheplot
Website: dawnvincent.co.uk
