Meet Xenia Barnes, a beacon of resilience and transformative healing. Xenia’s journey is both personal and profound, shaped by the tragic loss of her nephew to violence and her own battle with terminal illness. Through her organization Gold Mind Thoughts, Xenia channels her experiences into a mission of breaking generational cycles of trauma. Her work, fueled by vulnerability, authenticity, and unwavering belief, offers hope, healing, and empowerment to individuals and communities worldwide. In this interview, Xenia shares insights, challenges, and triumphs, offering a roadmap for those passionate about creating positive change amidst adversity.
What inspired you to focus on breaking generational cycles of trauma, and how does your work address this issue?
“My inspiration comes from an incredibly difficult personal journey. In 2017, my family experienced the unforgettable murder of my only nephew Melquain Jatelle Anderson. The traumatic experience took me on an emotional rollercoaster of grief, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The entire experience put me on a mission to heal not only my family but my community as well. The emotional and psychological trauma of that experience was exacerbated and when I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis and Lupus in July of 2021, I needed to do something to take back control of my destiny. My health began to rapidly decline leaving me with only 34% of lung capacity between both lungs. IPF which is the medical term, causes the lungs to harden and is irreversible. Thus, I was told I needed a double lung transplant. To be honest, the doctors didn’t think I would make it through the year. However, God had other plans for me and I survived against all odds, but the compounded trauma took an immense toll. Healing those deep wounds made me realize how easily unresolved pain and suffering can get passed down through families and communities. Gold Mind Thoughts was born out of my driving mission to help others break free from generations of inherited trauma cycles.”
Could you discuss some of the struggles or challenges you faced while building Gold Mind Thoughts, and how did you overcome them?
“The greatest challenge was summoning the strength and resilience to pour myself into this work while grappling with my own profound trauma. There were days when the darkness felt all-consuming. But I had to keep reminding myself of the light I wanted to cultivate for others going through similar struggles. Slowly, by practicing the very mindfulness and growth mindset principles I teach, I was able to transform my pain into perseverance and my experiences into empowerment. Surrounding myself with a supportive team who embodied the Gold Mind Thoughts vision was also invaluable.”
What are some key lessons you’ve learned along the way in your entrepreneurial and personal development journey?
“One of the biggest lessons has been the importance of vulnerability and authenticity. When you’ve faced the kinds of life-altering experiences I have, there’s no room for facades or half-truths. I strive to show up as my fullest, most honest self and create spaces where others feel safe to do the same. Another critical insight is that healing is a constant journey, not a destination. Even now, years later, I still have work to do. But that motivates me to keep growing alongside our clients and community.”
Can you share a particularly inspirational or impactful moment you’ve experienced through your work with Gold Mind Thoughts?
“One of the most powerful moments was when a client shared that my Loving Yourself Through the Trauma program had given her a new lease on life after years of struggling with anger, depression and suicidal ideation as a result of her parents’ cycles of violence and substance abuse. Hearing her speak about rediscovering her self-worth, desire to live, and dream of becoming a motivational speaker herself – it’s moments like those that fill my heart. They remind me that every bit of effort I put towards empowering others is worth it.”
How do you balance your personal life and your business endeavors, especially when dealing with sensitive topics like trauma?
“It’s an ongoing process of conscious effort. I’ve learned that I can’t pour from an empty cup, so prioritizing my own self-care through therapy, meditation, quality time with loved ones, and other wellness practices is critical. I also have to be very intentional about creating boundaries and finding pockets of peace and joy outside of the traumatic subject matter we immerse ourselves in. At the same time, this work is a heart-calling that energizes me at my core. Seeing the light we’re able to cultivate for others is what renews my spirit.”
What advice would you give to others who are passionate about making a positive impact but may be facing doubts or obstacles?
“First, I would encourage deep self-reflection to get clear on your ‘why’ – your driving motivations for pursuing this path. A strong sense of purpose anchored in personal truth is what will sustain you through the inevitable challenges. Next, don’t be afraid to start with humble beginner steps and grow from there. Don’t be afraid to grieve, whether you are mourning a loved one or shedding a version of yourself that no longer brings you joy. Negative self-talk or perfectionist mindsets will only breed inaction. Also, seek out a network of supportive mentors and peers to learn from and lean on. In other words, find your healing tribe. Finally, regularly reconnect with the people, stories and vision that inspire you when doubts arise.”
How do you stay motivated and focused on your mission during difficult times or setbacks?
“When the weight of trauma feels overwhelming, I ground myself in the profound faith and resilience of the human spirit that allowed me to transcend my own life’s most daunting obstacles. Continuing stared down a terminal illness diagnosis and do the work to heal a community where too many young lives are taken from gun violence, motivates me to not give up. I know intimately just how much light can emerge from utter darkness if you don’t lose hope. On the toughest days, I remind myself that every effort makes a difference in planting seeds of healing for someone struggling. I also derive strength from family, friends and my incredible GMT community who show up wholeheartedly alongside me in this work.”
Can you share some of the feedback or success stories from clients who have benefited from Gold Mind Thoughts’ services?
“The notes and testimonials from clients fill me with so much hope. One young woman wrote about how our inner child healing work allowed her to make peace with the traumatic abuse she endured, finally breaking the cycle so she could show up as the nurturing mother she’d always yearned for. Another client credited my mindfulness curriculum via my series of self-care and healing books, with giving her and her children the tools to manage their PTSD after losing one of her children to gun violence. Stories like these of people reclaiming their power and sense of possibility after generations of community betrayal and inherited pain – that’s why I pour my whole heart into this business and my non-profit organization MJAF named after my nephew.”
What are your future goals and aspirations for Gold Mind Thoughts, and how do you plan to continue growing and making a difference?
“My greatest vision is for Gold Mind Thoughts to become a global force for individual and collective healing, reaching those impacted by trauma in communities worldwide. We’re exploring innovative digital platforms and scalable program models to increase accessibility. I also hope to establish holistic wellness retreat centers that provide immersive mind-body-spirit regeneration experiences. Above all, I want us to keep evolving at the forefront of trauma-informed care, developing cutting-edge services that create transformational breakthroughs for humanity to break free from cycles of suffering once and for all.”
“My advice comes from an intimate understanding of just how permeable the boundaries between life and death can be. I’ve lost my only nephew to a senseless act of community gun violence in the very same community I now work to uplift. I’ve received a terminal diagnosis that forced me to confront my own mortality. And yet, I stand before you today, alive and more purposefully driven than ever before.
Those who feel called to create positive change will inevitably face doubts, obstacles, brushes with their own figurative or literal demise. The path is arduous because you are doing nothing less than midwifing a new reality into existence against the stubborn generational trauma cycle of the old paradigm. Believe me when I say I understand those moments of feeling painfully alone on the pioneer’s trail, wondering if the Promised Land you envision is really attainable.
But you must summon the resilience to persevere through those dark nights of the soul. Reconnect with the burning ‘why’ behind your work – a calling rooted so deeply that its flames cannot be extinguished. Draw strength from the profound truth that every life you transform makes all the struggle worth it. Construct yourself a sanctuary of unwavering allies who see the beauty of what you’re birthing, even when you momentarily lose sight of it yourself.
Most importantly, cultivate an unconditional self-belief. If I could transcend both the trauma of violence and the physical devastation of a terminal illness to emerge as the leader and healer you see today, you can achieve any revitalization you set your mind and heart to as well. Stay steadfast, stay creative, stay fueled by love – and you’ll awaken the enduring possibility within yourself and your community.”
Books:
https://www.amazon.com/author/coachbarnesgmt
