I walked into the kitchen to see my roommates all standing near the sink, staring out the window. Rent had gotten too expensive so, since we were all single, we decided to get a three bedroom place together. We split the rent and utilities three ways and it had worked well for the past three years.
I walked to the cabinet and grabbed a mug from the shelf. “What’s going on?” I asked.
Without looking away from the window, Charly said, “You know how the neighbor’s dog always comes over here and leaves messes on our porch steps?”
I poured coffee into my mug as steam rose in waves. “Yeah,” I said.
“Well, this morning, Tabitha scooped it up on a piece of cardboard and left it on the neighbor’s porch.”
“Wait. What?”
Tabitha finally turned to look at me. “Yeah, serves him right for not cleaning up after his dog.”
My eyes shifted to Charly who just shrugged.
“So, you’re hovering over the sink because you’re waiting for him to discover your gift?”
“Yes,” Tabitha said, matter-of-factly.
At that very moment, the door to the neighbor’s house opened and a tiny chihuahua trotted onto the porch. It stopped to sniff the gift that Tabitha had left behind.
“Oh, oh! Here it comes!” Tabitha said.
Charly laughed and looked at me. I rolled my eyes and took my coffee to the table, wanting no part in this silly game.
“Look! There he is!” Tabitha announced. “Beth, come check this out.”
“I’m actually good,” I said and then took a sip of my coffee.
They both started laughing. “He’s looking around like he doesn’t know it was us!”
“Maybe he lets his dog poop on everyone’s porch steps,” I said from the table.
Tabitha and Charly both turned to look at me.
“I’m just saying, if that’s the case, then he really wouldn’t know who did it, would he?”
“You’re right,” Tabitha said.
She practically ran to the front door, opening it so fast and hard that it slammed into the wall.
At this point, I quickly got up and joined Charly at the window over the kitchen sink.
Tabitha sped walked through our yard in her gray yoga pants and a black Halestorm shirt. Her hair was pulled into the craziest ponytail that bounced with each fierce step she took. ”
“Excuse me!” She yelled. The neighbor turned in her direction. He was at least 80. “Oh, Tabby, please be kind,” I whispered.
The neighbor looked confused as Tabitha continued her angry walk in his direction.
“Your dog’s public bathroom is closed!” She shouted.
The man looked behind him to see if Tabitha was addressing someone else. Then, turned back to Tabitha and pointed at his chest. “Me?”
“Yes, you! That little monster of yours keeps crapping on our porch steps!”
The man looked at his Chihuahua who sat at his feet, wagging its tail.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
Something in my brain clicked and I turned to Charly, “Have you ever seen the Chihuahua poop on our porch steps?”
She thought for a minute and then shook her head. “It’s always just . . . there.”
As we watched Tabitha shout at the neighbor, a small white poodle walked over from across the street. Tabitha’s back was turned and she couldn’t see it.
“No way!” Charly said. We both started banging on the window and yelling for Tabitha, but she couldn’t hear us. The poodle climbed the first step on our porch, squatted, and left another surprise. As it trotted away, Tabitha was still pointing and shouting at the neighbor.
I ran to the front door and hurried down the steps, avoiding the new gift. I waved my arms and ran as I shouted for Tabitha.
She sighed loudly and said, “What?”
I pointed to our porch and said, “Look!”
She looked at the neighbor and then walked towards our porch. Once she was close enough, confusion fell over her face.
“What? How?”
“It’s not him,” I whispered. I pointed down the street as the poodle trotted away.
“What the . . . ”
We both looked at each other for a minute before turning to the neighbor.
“I’ll deal with this, you go handle that,” I said.
Tabitha plastered on a smile and went back to talk to the neighbor.
I cleaned up the mess on the porch and went back inside to fill in Charly.
A few minutes later, Tabitha came back into the house.
“Well?” Charly asked.
“I apologized and cleaned up his porch. But, I just felt so horrible, you know?”
Charly and I said nothing as we waited for Tabitha to finish.
“He got the dog after his wife passed away four years ago. I promised to go over once a week to have dinner with him and listen to stories about his wife.”
Charly looked at me and I knew what she was thinking, so I nodded.
“We’ll go too,” she said.
“What? Why? You don’t have to. I’m the one who acted like a fool.”
“Yes, that’s true,” I said, “but we need to stick together. Besides, I like doing things for others. I’ll make brownies to take.”
Tabitha said, “I’m going to take dog treats. I think it’s the least I can do.” She turned to the window and sighed, “But first, I have a poodle owner to deal with.”
“Here we go again!” Charly said.
