Introducing Tina Joy, the powerhouse behind Queen of Hearts Coaching, a brand built on resilience, transformation, and an unshakable belief in the magic of the universe. Tina’s journey into the coaching world began over 20 years ago as a personal trainer and nutritionist, later evolving into a stretch therapist. Her passion for personal growth deepened during the pandemic, when she turned to live streaming to engage with a growing community. Drawing inspiration from her own challenges—whether it was navigating the highs and lows of acting or overcoming financial setbacks—Tina found her calling in helping others reprogram their minds, embrace freedom, security, and love, and ultimately manifest their best lives. Her story is a testament to the power of perseverance, deep meditation, and following your heart, even in the face of adversity. Now, as a certified life and relationship coach, Tina Joy is dedicated to guiding others through their own transformations with grace, humor, and a fierce commitment to personal growth.
1. Can you share a bit about your journey and what led you to start Queen of Hearts Coaching?
Sure, I would love to!
I have been in the coaching industry for over 20 years. I started as a teenager as a personal trainer and nutritionist and soon became a stretch therapist. During my years of personal training, I developed the nickname “Tin Man”, which is a play on my legal name. During the pandemic I began to livestream where I gained a larger following and managed to financially support myself from being a streamer.
I ran what I would call a “variety show”. I would speak about fitness, nutrition, psychology, fascia, trauma, sci-fi, technology, investments, entertainment and relationships. I held multi-panels with some incredibly gifted people and did my own comedy shows, and sound healing sessions to keep the live stream interesting. During that period, I used the screen name TinMan and continued to expand on this brand, and drew parallels and symbolism to, The Wizard Of Oz.
Soon after, I took a break from live streaming to focus on subconscious re-programing, NLP (Neuro linguistic programming), and deep meditation. I had recently moved and I was burning through my recent commercial money from my previous bookings. At this point, I was essentially jobless with no recent acting bookings, and terrified. I continued to meditate, sometimes even for HOURS a day, as I surrendered to my own practice and beliefs and gave my full trust to the universe.
Here and there I booked small gigs (not related to acting, but rather bartending or dealing poker), but often times I found my bank account in the red, and sometimes I had to sell furniture just to not bounce my accounts. At times, I went days without eating, but if I was lucky, a friend would take me out to dinner or I would book a stand-in gig on set and have a hot meal again.
I was definitely terrified most days but I continued to be blessed. Whenever it felt like my anxiety was overwhelming, I would force myself into meditation for however long I needed to in order to stabilize and detach from the circumstances.
This is when I realized what core emotions I wanted to feel. I isolated them into FREEDOM, SECURITY, and LOVE. That is when my actual experiences and business became what it is today.
2. What was the pivotal moment or experience that inspired you to focus on relationship and personal growth coaching?
There are many pivotal moments in my life that proved that reality is mental, including booking my first feature film that was released in AMC theaters . *Shameless promotion: Deer Camp ’86 is now available on Amazon Prime*
As I mentioned previously, I was doing a lot of meditation and working a lot of background and stand in gigs. I was grateful for every opportunity I got, but as an actress who has grown a lot, I also had a lot of ego I had to kill. I knew in my heart that I had no intention of ever giving up acting. I have loved this industry and worked hard to be proud of myself, but I was tired and scared.
Doing well as a live streamer gave me a lot of perspective and belief in my personal power, talent and vision. I knew that I was moving through another opportunity to double down on what I wanted to create mentally, and commit my heart to it without a doubt.
Any time I was in holding on set or not having to be in front of the camera, I would sit there in meditation, and then afterwards I would think: “Isn’t this such a lovely day? I get to be on set and get paid to do the things I truly love: meditate and act.” Those feeling states just validated what my soul wanted and I knew I had to keep showing up for her.
As I isolated the main feelings I wanted to continue to experience, which were: FREEDOM, SECURITY, and LOVE… I got this silly inspired idea. “I think I would like to be a remote matchmaker and learn how to become a better life and relationship coach.”
Mind you, I had spent MONTHS looking for work. My email was full of rejection notices. Despite my experience and education, nobody wanted to hire me. I was at my wits end, this wasn’t an easy journey. I had days where I hadn’t eaten and had even lost consciousness due to it.
But here I was, going “balls to the wall” in “delusional confidence” because that’s how utterly desperate I was to prove to myself that the “MAGICK” of the universe is real!
Well, after 3 days of doing meditations with these particular feeling states as a discipline, both in and out of meditation, I decided to search “remote matchmaker”. That’s where I found a job posting from a legitimate matchmaking company. I actually kind of chuckled to myself as I submitted my application. Sure, I wanted the job but it surprised me when they called me back and wanted to have not only a second interview with me, but a third, and then finally hired me.
So from there I became certified as a life coach, matchmaker and relationship coach, and made the full commitment to focus my coaching on relationships and personal growth. Which, to me… are really just another form of art.
3. How did the pandemic influence your decision to become a more positive influence in the world?
The pandemic was an interesting time.
I like many others, was experiencing a lot of fear but it was probably different than most. I wasn’t dealing with the fear of isolation, I am an introvert by nature, I love being alone.
I was dealing with personal issues, like very public financial losses and even the public loss of a dear friend. This particular friend was an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and very vocal. She was an extremely talented woman who toggled between modeling and being a professional in the mental health field. Losing her right before the pandemic, while struggling with financial burdens and then getting locked up, was intense to say the least.
I felt compelled on her behalf to bring a level of ambition, authenticity and transparency to anything I was going to invest myself in. It just so happened that the only job I didn’t lose during the pandemic was my acting opportunities and live streaming.
I’m such a flawed person and would never want anyone to believe I haven’t struggled with being human, but I’ll never forget walking into a Ralphs shortly after lockdown. I wasn’t super concerned about what was to come next, I was actually pretty cavalier or laissez faire about the future. In many ways, it was a relief to not have to participate in the “norm” of society, being that I have always felt like an outlier.
There were long lines and people in distress, and I have always been a “go against the grain” type of person. I noticed nobody was fighting over wine and cheese, so I thought to myself, “This really might be heaven after all.”
After loading up my basket with some goodies, I made the decision to get some frozen goods juuuuust in case I should be more concerned about the “pandemic” (quotes because I REALLY didn’t mind the end of days).
That’s when I moved a cart out of the front of a freezer and was assaulted by a frenzied eyed woman.
She grabbed my arm and her grip reddened my tan skin, her blue eyes were shallow pools and wild like a rabid chimp. Her breathing was chesty and surface, and I knew then she wasn’t well.
My fight or flight kicked in and a large part of me wanted to get real “Jenny on the block” with her, you know, “let my hair loose”. but due to my own personal experiences and training, compassion took over me and instead of back handing her I asked, “Are you ok!?”
That’s when I saw her breath deepen, her pupils dilate and felt her grip on me soften. She blinked several times before stuttering the phrase, “Oh my God, I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.” She released me and I gently rubbed her shoulder and consoled her with a simple, “It’s ok. I understand. This is new. We are all scared.”
As I stood in line with my goods, a fight broke out between two men as some individuals circled around them and tried to calm them down.
I walked out of that grocery store knowing that I was never going to be able to be my vintage unhinged self again. I felt responsible not just for others and their undiagnosed C/PTSD, but for my own personal safety and survival. I saw that the divide between the conscious v. the unconscious was upon us and deepening at a rapid pace.
Additionally, my loved ones were pretty scared and as I took a public stance as a live-streamer, I knew it was going to be important to not only bring emotional support to my community and intimate circle, but also humor!!!
4. What personal challenges have you faced in your journey, and how did you overcome them?
I’m sure one day I’ll write a memoir and we’ll sit down and hold each other over some yummy Syrah and buffalo cheese, but to be fully transparent, it’s not a narrative I get into often.
I spoke a lot about my journey when I was live streaming, and if you read between the lines of what I’ve said thus far, you might get a pretty good idea of what I have experienced.
The only thing I am willing to admit to at this moment is that I was in therapy for 12 years and it took me nearly that long to not only be diagnosed with CPTSD, but to admit it to myself. I have also been “classified” as neuro-divergent and dis-organized attachment. I say “classified” because after 7 years of deep work, I no longer need to identify with that label and have found a lot of progress through my delusional belief, disciplines and intentional practice.
Once I admitted it to myself, the real journey began, including deep somatic healing and body work, along with mental/subconscious reprogramming.
I have also been an advocate for survivors of abuse and my personal philosophy is that we are all unique in how we choose to tell or not tell our stories. I personally hope to expand on the conversation about respecting the autonomy of trauma survivors, and debunk the need for us to validate our “expertise”, for lack of a better term, by re-traumatizing ourselves.
Our subconscious mind and body can’t differentiate between the past or the current moment.
At some point, we have to make decisions for which reality we would prefer to live in or re-live, and for what purpose.
If you asked me to sum up my challenges with a bumper sticker, it would say, “I did my time.”
5. How do you manage and navigate your own fears and doubts in your coaching practice?
Oh, with a lot of grace, faith, and humor. Maybe sometimes, or more often times, an ugly cry.
I actually cry A LOT these days, even in daily conversations or casually during moments of conflict. It’s less a distraction and more my way of allowing my body to process its experience in real time, and a way to honor my heart and vulnerability.
My best friend and I are really “radical” about the internal work we do. She is also a coach and reiki healer, among many other certificates and studies. Our friendship is mostly strengthened via memes but when we do chat on the phone, while not often due to our aversion to it, we might talk any where from 8-12 hours. During those periods, one or both of us may have a lot of fears we need to process, but we RARELY actually name it or obsess on it.
I say rarely because we don’t bypass our emotional experiences.
We just both agree that life is challenging so like, what’s new? [Don’t forget to add that LA vocal fry for a special local effect.]
She knows I am struggling when I say, “I’m white knuckling the turn.”
That’s when she becomes more curious and asks me a lot of feeling questions, or questions on what I want or what my intention is for what I wish to create.
Her and I are extremely similar in the sense that we like to try to resolve our challenges, or what I call “big bosses”, alone first.
We joke that it might be an unresolved trauma response or a “kink”, but I also believe we both feel that our personal work has to first come from our own compass, which is often only found by experiencing and moving through “dark nights of the soul.”
If you’re asking me for practical advice or strategies, basically I brainwash myself with intentional thoughts that I would prefer to have, but only after I have answered the root need of my fears. Then I’ll probably laugh, or dance, or sing or workout. I might even on occasion do it all at once and concern my lover, while laughing manically like some cosmic space joker. [Insert smiling devil emoji. LOL. I innocently enjoy watching him squirm as if I don’t know what I am creating. He’s in on the game too.]
I also enjoy spending time with my two cats, my dog, my cousins and my father, or in nature.
Swimming in the ocean can really ground me because I am an awful swimmer and absolutely terrified of drowning, so I feel extremely accomplished for getting passed the break. Sitting in the sun also helps center me, but maybe that’s because I am a California girl who needs her beach like the rest of the population needs oxygen.
I also have a couple of close girlfriends who are also in the healing arts, so I might take one of their breath work sessions or sound therapy sessions, or even use my own sound tools.
I like to refer to Joe Dispenza meditations, or some of Neville Goddard’s work.
If all else fails, I have a team of amazing life/acting coaches I call to remind me of my personal power and the direction I want to move in.
6. Can you describe a particularly difficult moment in your life and how it shaped who you are today?
I have the unfortunate privilege of having many of those experiences! While I won’t go into those chapters, because you’ll have to purchase my future book someday, I can tell you what I learned.
- You don’t have to believe that you are the master creator of your reality, but it doesn’t stop it from happening. The more authentic and honest you are with yourself, the more aware you become, the more intentional you are in where you are investing your emotions and energy.
- Nothing in life is free. In order to create the life you desire, it’s going to cost you.
- You are beautiful. You are loved. And when you embrace the wholeness of who you are and what you have learned, you shine with such a radiant light and beauty. I believe this is what we came here to experience as human beings. The full spectrum.
- All you have is today, so do the best you can with what you’ve got, and sleep with a restful heart.
- “Your desires are gifts, not curses.” -Neville Goddard
- “Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.” -Khalil Gibran
7. What role does mental health play in your coaching, and how do you address it with your clients?
This might sound trite or absurd, but mental health is a passion of mine, equivalent to being an artist.
As a child, I taught myself how to read before I started school. As an introvert, books were always my first and most loyal friends next to animals. The internet came about right before I started high school, and I enjoyed spending my time in chat rooms or groups helping other peers. As I matured, I continued to lean on the developing web or Barnes And Nobles to teach me about healing, adolescence, maturity, behavior, puberty, you name it. In many ways, I raised myself and the adults around me.
I used to dream of becoming a well known psychiatrist or actress. I was self studied long before I graduated high school. I continued to dream of completing my Masters in the field os psychology all the way up until I became a matchmaker.
If I were to re-consider the field, I’d continue to explore positive psychology or trans personal psychology.
My work as a coach is similar in the sense that it’s not my job to give you advice.
Sure, if I am creating short form content, that might be how you perceive me, but my 1:1’s are different, and much more personal and question oriented.
My whole practice is about mental health and the well being of my clients.
I am fortunate enough to not only have a background in NLP, and be a trauma survivor, but to be a certified personal trainer, stretch therapist, nutritionist, relationship coach, and matchmaker. So I have a handful of questions I’ll continue to ask you as we work together.
I am also privileged in the sense that I am not held to the standards or responsibilities of a mental health professional.
Each of my sessions include not only clarifying consent, but also clarifying that I am NOT a mental health professional, and that at some point, I might say we are not ready to work together and suggest you see a mental health professional instead.
8. How do you stay motivated and resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks?
Oh goodness, I used to find such pride in the term resilience and I heavily identified with it, until I didn’t.
Look, I just want to get to be a human and feel. I have enjoyed getting to learn to be vulnerable and soft. I have loved getting to explore all expressions of myself, and there’s not one day that slips by without my undying gratitude for the life I have gotten to live. Both the “good” and the “bad”.
But I am not always motivated, and I am not always strong and I really want to emphasize this and humanize our experiences here on Earth.
Love, family, A LOT of laughter, animals, nature, strong/loving/emotionally mature/conscious friendships, and a little bit of defiance is how I continue to be a menace to this planet.
For all of the healing work I have done, there’s still a little bit of vengeance in me that whispers, “Don’t let what has broken your heart keep you down. That’s how they win.”
For the Dungeon and Dragons fans, they’d understand I wouldn’t have survived without being, “chaotic neutral.”
9. What are some common struggles you see among women seeking personal growth and how do you help them overcome these challenges?
I recently read this beautiful quote that said: “Honestly the best piece of advice I can give to younger girls trying to figure out life is to completely ignore men. I’m not being quirky or cute when I say that, I mean it seriously. Ignore men’s judgments of you, ignore their insincere compliments, ignore their half-assed romance. Focus on developing yourself. Practice your art, play sports, do theater, volunteer, spend time with your friends, but do not put substantial effort into pleasing men. They’ll be there for you to pursue when the time comes and if you want to. But nothing will waste your youth more than fighting for male acceptance.” -Malaak Safe, source @selflovehealer
I don’t disagree, there’s a lot that I agree with in regards to this statement, but I am also much older and more mature. If you would have said this to me when I was younger, I would understand it cerebrally but not somatically, and I feel that’s been my greatest challenge as woman. I was intellectually advanced but somewhat emotionally repressed.
I was raised in a male dominated home, grew up in male dominated industries, and was essentially raised by a single father. My mother was in and out of my life until she came back around, but she passed away from metastatic brain cancer at a fairly young age.
The men in my family always wanted me to succeed financially and intellectually. Secretly, I just wanted to be an artist and get married.
There’s a lot I respect and love about men, and even have compassion for, but I had to learn about being a woman on my own, mostly self taught, observed by tv, influences/elders/peers, or sheer embarrassment/will and once again, defiance!
As I evolved, many of my female relationships judged me for admitting, YEARS later, after many accolades, that I just wanted to have an amazing family, a loving husband, AND a lucrative career in the arts. I actually found myself to be heavily abused by the women in my life, and it took years of intention for me to heal from that and create healthy female relationships.
I think some of the greatest challenges women face are simply being GIVEN ADVICE, much like the statement above, instead of being asked: What do you want? How do you envision the world? Do you want babies? Do you want a career? Do you want both? Do you want neither?
What is your body and mind saying about this experience? Does it feel like it’s coming from your or is there an internal resistance or conflict?
Without my influence, advice, or fear, what do you want!?!
Do you want it all? Ok! Great. Let’s start there!
Because if I am honest, that’s what I always wanted, but I wasn’t told I could have it. I just went for it anyway, even if I humiliated myself along the way. Kind of like a raccoon in a trash bag looking for a snack.
I do believe that we as women are extremely logical and brilliant at communicating, but that also means we have an opportunity to master the art of curiosity. Please notice how I use the word, “opportunity” rather than “responsibility”.
I also believe we haven’t always gotten to feel safe, and while that’s something I feel we will see be integrated into society over time, we have to be able to cultivate that within. Essentially that’s the foundation of “secure attachment”.
So, where do we start? And that’s one of the first questions I explore with my clients.
10. What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with self-doubt and fears?
Advice is tricky and best not given, but… I’d say, self-doubt and fear are one of the same. You have two choices in this world, to choose faith in yourself or to be afraid of what comes next. All other options are a distraction/illusion.
On the other side of that fear is your greater self calling to you. Asking for your love and attention. To step into your power. If you look close enough, you’ll realize it is masking your greatest desires. These fears are often times your dreams trying to have a deep conversation with you and connect. Yes, there’s a level of discernment that comes with interpreting the difference between a real fear and perceived fear, but I would like to give your body more credit and suggest that you understand what REPULSION feels like.
Should you accept your mission, I look forward to meeting you on the other side.
11. Can you share any success stories or breakthroughs that have particularly inspired you in your coaching career?
I have many success stories, some of which I have previously asked for consent in sharing, and some I have not had the opportunity to ask for. Very recently I followed up on some of my previous clients whom I hadn’t spoken to in awhile. I was pleased to hear that not only did some of them manifest a booking on tv, or a new relationship, but that some of them had also maintained the last relationship I set them up on.
I always feel emotional hearing from my clients and their success. It means a lot to me to be on this journey with them. I understand the level of trust they have given me, and I fully recognize that they made that decision, to open themselves up and take a chance to try something different. I cannot influence my clients unless they allow me to, and that is a bond, or relationship in creative collaboration.
12. How do you maintain a balance between being a coach and taking care of your own mental and emotional well-being?
That’s funny. I am not sure if I do, every day is different. 🙂
I am surrounded by loved ones, who if they aren’t asking the right questions and making serious attempts to speak my language and equally fulfill me, are definitely checking me when my ego gets out of hand, or when I am exhausted and need extra love and care.
With all due respect, balance is definitely my philosophy but it’s also extremely overrated.
I practice mindfulness on a daily basis but I am equally feral and mischievous.
But I have said it a couple of times, I really make meditation a part of my daily practice, even if it’s 5-10 minutes. It allows me to train myself into slowing down and grounding myself.
13. What practices or techniques do you use to help clients develop a positive mindset?
My techniques are all based per individual but if I were to make a blanket statement, I would say: Intentional thoughts on a loop, imaginal acts, nutrition/fitness, and somatic/body/breath work. It’s really not my “techniques” that help my clients, it’s their willingness to let me participate in their journey and if they feel they resonate with me. Aside from that energetic and psychic alignment, I am just another educated practitioner. I really want individuals and my clients to witness their own alignment and truth, instead of unconsciously being subjected to sales tactics that push their emotional buttons and put them in a fear and lack mindset.
14. How has your personal growth journey influenced your approach to coaching others?
I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to be an actress and personal trainer. Both of these professions taught me a lot about the mind/body connection. I am also indigenous and grew up living in Tipis and dancing in the Pow-Wows loooooooong before our practices and culture were “normalized”. But, I am multi-ethnic and grew up with influences from my Chinese/Filipino/German/Irish roots as well.
I got to experience a variety of foods, cultures, beliefs and religions in my home. My father was drafting for the city and my mother was a flower child with a degree in psychology and a love for comedy. I have gotten to experience the buffet of extremes, and some how, continue to be inspired and fascinated by nuance and complexity. I enjoy being around people who think differently than I do.
When you have had enough life experiences, adopting a “shameless” attitude towards your evolution might be the only way you actually survive, in order to thrive. I think in that, we find humanity.
So I am always hoping to find the shackles of limiting beliefs that bind my clients and help free them so they can fly, because if there’s anyone that understands loneliness, isolation, shame or imprisonment, it’s most certainly me.
15. What message do you hope to convey through your work with Queen of Hearts Coaching?
It was all a dream.
You had the power all along, my dear. 🙂
<3 The TinMan
IG: @iamtinajoy and @Queenofheartscoaching
