Forging Paths: Kathleen Burgler’s Journey of Resilience and Empowerment

In a world where personal upheaval can feel overwhelming, Kathleen Burgler stands as a beacon of resilience and hope. Her journey through the emotional turmoil of divorce led her to create Forge Your Path, a workbook designed not just to share her story, but to empower others navigating similar challenges. With a background in health coaching and yoga, Kathleen draws from her own experiences, blending practical tools with profound insights on acceptance, values, and self-discovery. In this interview, she opens up about the transformative power of vulnerability, the hurdles of self-publishing, and the profound impact of writing on her mental health. Join us as Kathleen shares her inspiring journey of healing and growth, reminding us that even in the darkest times, we can forge our own paths toward light and fulfillment.

What inspired you to write Forge Your Path and how did your personal experiences shape its content?

I was blindsided when my husband said he wanted a divorce, and later when I found out he was cheating, the ground dropped out from under me. I was lucky though, because I’d been a health coach for about eight years at that point and a yoga teacher (focusing on restorative yoga and yoga for chronic conditions and mental health) so I had a lot of resources at the ready. The shifts I was able to make – substantial and life-affirming ones – were critical to my healing journey and I felt compelled to share what helped me most.

Can you share some of the tools and skills from your workbook that were essential during your divorce?

I am a big believer in the power of radical acceptance – acknowledging that what is happening is in fact, happening. You can’t move forward until you have a sense of where you are.

Along with acceptance is values work. I always do this with my clients – it’s a critical part of getting centered and focused – knowing what your deep motivators are helps inform how you proceed through the murkiness of break-up. During my divorce I reaffirmed my core values and brought them to the forefront to be my drivers. This meant that instead of acting out in anger or fear I could connect with the who and how I truly wanted to be.

How did you approach the challenge of navigating the world of self-publishing, and what did you learn from the experience?

I combed through the internet, read reviews, looked at videos – everything to try and find a good fit for my project. I learned that there’s no one best self-publisher, that they are different ways of getting your project to market, and that having your book published is not even half the work. I learned that I believe firmly in the value of my workbook and won’t let the bumps in the road derail me.

What strategies did you use to overcome imposter syndrome and build confidence in your work?

One of the biggest shifts I made during my divorce was to begin an intentional removal of some of my armor. I started shedding the weight of perfectionism, of vulnerability, of fear of criticism, etc. So, when it came to this project, I looked at other writers, memoirists, workbooks, and recognized that regardless of any similarities my voice is singular and unique and deserves to be heard. Doing the hard thing and sharing my work-in-progress with colleagues helped, too. I got amazing feedback that told me I was on the right track.

How has writing Forge Your Path influenced your personal growth and resilience?

The biggest impact of the past few years culminating in this workbook has been reconnecting with my innate strengths in a deeper and more profound way. I have felt freer to cultivate my creativity, less concerned about outcomes and more focused on the work itself. I have a section in my workbook about stress-induced growth (also called post-traumatic growth) where I encourage readers to consider not just resilience: bouncing back – but also growth: forward movement. Just writing that section helped me hone my own vision and goals for my future. Additionally, all the hiccups I’ve encountered along the way have reminded me of my sense of purpose – to be of service.

Can you describe a moment when you felt particularly challenged or uncertain about your workbook and how you dealt with it?

From the very start I envisioned my workbook a certain way – spiral-bound, flexible cover, colorful graphics, and so on. At one point in one of my edits it came back with a cost to me that was crazy ridiculous and would make the retail price far out of reach to too many people. So, I pivoted and looked at a different company; it looked like a good fit, but when I got the print proof, I hated it. I felt so discouraged, like the hurdles were too high and too close together. I set everything aside for a week or so and let my brain focus on other things. Then booked a call with the owner of the first self-publishing company. It turned out that a mistake was made in the estimate! To have my workbook precisely as I want was totally doable! I credit my little inner ember of perseverance, the elemental me that didn’t give up even when it felt impossible.

How do you balance the practical aspects of self-publishing with the creative process of writing?

I don’t find that balancing challenging. I love writing, editing, paying attention to details, but I also get a kick out of seeing something through to the finish.

What role did mental health play in your journey of writing and self-publishing, and how did you manage it?

I have a long history of depression, anxiety, and panic and a ton of tools and resources to help me manage it. Writing is one of the tools that helps me lift the cloak of panic; bringing things out of the dark, seeing them in black and white lets me gain clarity and sweep away some of the debris of negativity and shitty self-talk. I have a robust gratitude practice that includes being grateful for hard things, the challenges and setbacks – the places where the lessons reside.

How did you handle any self-doubt or criticism during the creation and promotion of your workbook?

If I hit a snag of self-doubt while writing my workbook I would walk away from it for a bit. I would read other things, focus on different projects, paint, etc. I remind myself all the time that I’m just as human as anyone else, I harbor all the same doubts and worries as the next guy; it’s all just part of the human experience so there’s no sense getting attached to it.

What advice would you give to other women who are looking to write and self-publish their own work?

Write from the heart, write what you know, what you yearn to share. Set realistic goals and expectations. Do some research to find out how best to publish your work. Reach out to people in the know and ask questions.

11. How do you stay motivated and focused when working on a long-term project like a workbook?

I generally focus on one project for a while and then when ideas are slow to come, or I feel stuck, I work on something else. I find that this allows for creative juices to continue to flow instead of stagnating. Then I can let my brain get lost in painting or other more tactile creative work and thoughts and ideas will eventually bubble up to the surface and I’ll be ready to go back to writing.

12. Can you share a story or feedback from a reader that has had a significant impact on you?

I was floored when a colleague said my workbook was like having a wise, compassionate friend along for the journey. I couldn’t imagine a better complement.

13. What future projects or goals do you have in mind, and how do you plan to continue supporting others through your work?

I write regularly on Substack – both personal essay and divorce-focused content. Last year I created a ‘visual story’ of 20 paintings with text that tell the story of my divorce and subsequent healing journey and I will be using them in my memoir which covers the arc from his phone call telling me he was done, through to the infidelity, my heartbreak and fear, and eventually my cultivation of autonomy, self-efficacy, and peace.

I am a Certified Divorce Coach and work with individuals and groups at any stage of marital breakdown. I tell people that divorce is like waking up in a pitch-black room not knowing where the walls are, if there’s a door, if the floor is intact, or what you’re supposed to do next. My job is to turn on the light. Now that you can see what’s in front of you, you can take a deep breath, settle your feet on the floor, and plot your course forward.

IG: @coachkathleenburgler