Kaileia Suvannamaccha’s journey is a testament to the power of embracing one’s true self, even when it means peeling away the layers we’ve built for protection. Through her creativity, poetry, and holistic wellness workshops, she has transformed her vulnerability into a superpower, guiding others to do the same. In this interview, Kaileia shares how she navigated the challenges of self-discovery, how her diverse identities play a role in her life, and why leading with your heart is the key to living authentically. Her story is an inspiring reminder that when we choose to be ourselves, we unlock the true magic within us.
1. How did you come to realize the importance of embracing your true self over the persona you were taught to be?
It is one thing to know your true self and another thing to allow yourself to be seen as you truly are. It’s incredibly vulnerable.
From a young age, probably since going to school, I started to observe I was burying my true self beneath layers or masks, often for protection or acceptance, but deep inside, I was very lonely. In my friendships and early romantic relationships, I would slowly get comfortable and begin to peel layers off to reveal my true self, only to end up confusing the people who thought they knew me but didn’t actually like or love me because they didn’t know who I truly was. I began to associate my authentic self with being abandoned and unlovable.
It has taken immense courage to show up as my true self in relationships but it has been incredibly rewarding. I don’t waste my time anymore. I keep my circle small, and it takes far less energy to sustain a life that is aligned with my authentic self. While I still use some of my layers from time to time, I am more conscious of how I use them. I get to choose when to let people into my circle or keep them out and I’ve come to view my ability to adapt as a superpower, where it can actually work for me, not just against me. I’ve never had such deep loving friendships before, nor have I ever been in such a deep loving romantic relationship as I am now. It’s not always easy to be yourself, but it’s always worth it.
2. Can you share a specific moment when you had to choose between hiding and revealing your true self?
In group settings, I would tend to hide beneath layers to avoid conflict or confrontation. I hated birthday parties growing up, particularly my own, because I would hide my true feelings, my thoughts and opinions, my interests and desires, etc. It seemed like the only way to keep the peace but it was at the expense of my own existence. I went through so many periods in my life where I would wait to be alone again so I could be me, in all of my weirdness.
When I was in high school, my best friend and I were madly in love with each other. I remember my mom had taken my phone after I fell asleep one night and read our texts to each other, and when I noticed a shift in her behavior the next morning, I adjusted mine towards my friend. I thought ending my relationship with my friend was the only way to be accepted and loved by my mother. I felt awful about it at the time and for a long while after. I have since apologized to her, and we’re on better terms.
3. What role do your various identities (creator, poet, mermaid, princess, etc.) play in your journey of self-discovery?
I have always been multi-faceted. I loved drawing and coloring as a kid, but my favorite thing to do was play pretend. I liked making up my own stories and starring in them. I also sang a lot—still do, actually. I enjoyed arts & crafts too, but mostly from a creator perspective, like repurposing toilet paper rolls into makeshift dolls. I wrote so many stories, poems, songs, and essays, and then I went to a performing arts high school, where I studied acting. So I’ve always been creative. I’ve always been a creator.
As I’ve grown older, my various identities have evolved rather than changed. For example, I no longer need to play pretend as a witch with magic powers when I am one. Since I was 15, I came out of the broom closet as an eclectic pagan witch and now it’s just part of my lifestyle. I no longer need to pretend to be a mermaid by swimming with my feet crossed in the pool because when I was 15, my mom gifted me my first fin-fun mermaid tail and, as of 2022, I have since upgraded to a scuba knit mertailor mermaid tail. But being a mermaid and a witch are so much deeper than the aesthetic. For me, being a mermaid represents my deep love and care for the ocean and my own willingness to explore my inner waters. Being a witch, similarly, is representational of my respect and admiration for mother nature and the magical gifts she provides in abundance.
As for being a princess, I have far too many connections to share here. One thing I will say is, since reclaiming the title of mermaid princess, I have manifested a merman prince for a partner (with a bump on his neck that doctors tested when he was young, and said that the cellular structure resembles that of a fish gill) who is a Cancer sun and the only child in his family to be birthed in water. I have also manifested working as an assistant for a Trinidadian Romance author of British and French ancestry who is a Gemini sun like me, but also a direct descendent of King William the Conqueror. So since identifying as a princess, I’ve started working with one, and since identifying as a mermaid, I fell in love with one. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
4. How did you handle the challenge of integrating your true self into your daily life and work?
Since moving to Sarasota, it has happened quite naturally. I now co-host an open mic poetry night at Stardust Café on Wednesday nights with two other women—I nicknamed us the “Triple Goddess Alliance,” since within our trio, we have a maiden, mother, and crone. These days, people call me princess even when I’m not wearing a crown. For example, I was in Whole Foods downtown and ran into Khalil Gibran’s 95-year-old sister in law, who said I looked like a princess before she even told me who she was or knew anything about me. My best girlfriends’ names are Zen and Joy. I can’t make this stuff up. This is the magic. The more I reveal my many facets, the more my world begins to shift so as to include all of me in it.
5. How do you balance your creative pursuits with your entrepreneurial endeavors?
As a creative, I never really claimed the title of entrepreneur. Since beginning to, I am starting to see my world expand to include it though, which is exciting. I put out my poetry book, “In Time I See” on 11/11 last year and that is a compilation of poems I have written since I was as young as 6 through my teenage years into early adulthood. Together, they tell the story—my story—of searching for intimacy, hence the title, “In Time I See.” As the book progresses, the reader gets to see me deeper, thus allowing myself to be seen. It’s a vulnerable body of work that encompasses the emotional journey felt throughout the first quarter of my life.
6. What inspired you to start your poetry collection and holistic wellness workshops?
The poetry collection wrote itself. Back in high school, when I was preparing my portfolio for Ringling College of Art and Design, I put together a collection of poems under a different title “Melted Bones” (my philosophy behind it being that bones do not actually melt and as you grow up, you have a lesser number of bones not because you lose any but because they actually fuse together). For my senior thesis at Ringling, I wasn’t allowed to do a poetry book so I weaved some into the novel I wrote instead. I guess I was meant to tell my mother’s story, “Roots To The Heart,” before I could assemble my own. Since graduating, I revisited my old poems and put them together with my newer ones to form my first collection. As for the workshops, most people graduate and get jobs. I got goats. Three, to be exact. I used to goatsit, fell in love with them. I would bring the goats to retirement homes for therapeutic goat playdates when they were little. Since becoming a certified therapeutic art life coach, I have taught therapeutic art and writing workshops at Kirpal Meditation and Ecological Center on the Big Island of Hawaii and at the Florida Creativity Conference. My offerings continue to expand as I do. One day, I aim to have a space to call my own that can become a physical center where I can host my own magic school, from goats to poetry classes to whatever other subjects I feel passionate about. I named my brand, “Heartful Evolution” and if you look up the etymology of each word, you will understand why.
7. How do you use your workshops to help others explore and express their true selves?
I want people to know that their true self is all-inclusive, and just like Tom Cruise said in Rock of Ages, “I know me better than anyone because I live in here.” My workshops make people think and feel in ways they maybe have forgotten how to. I aim to reawaken the parts of them they believed they lost so they can reclaim them and live as their holistic true self, fully embodied and fully integrated. I refer to my own inner child’s wisdom on how to do that. She loved playing pretend so character work and archetypes are inherent to the work I do.
8. What advice would you give to women who are struggling to embrace their authentic selves?
If something makes you feel, that’s how you know you’re alive. Don’t avoid the discomfort, lean into it because that’s the only way to make room for growth. Don’t follow your heart, lead with it. Your responsibility is your power.
9. What future projects or goals are you excited about, and how do they align with your personal growth?
I’m almost done with my second poetry collection! And I have lots of fun workshops in the works, starting with my first ever Princess Poetry Workshop at Stardust Café this upcoming Sunday, 8/18 from 3-5pm. Follow me on Instagram @theprincesspoetess as that is the social media community I am most active in.
Personal Instagram: @_eclectickye
Poetry Instagram: @theprincesspoetess
Goat Instagram: @gogogoaties
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/eclectickye?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=bbafcfde-05a0-4f3e-ac6b-678bcb32a781
