In a world where the journey through grief and trauma often feels isolating, Jasmine Rose Penter emerges as a beacon of hope and resilience. As the founder of Ignite LLC and author of Side BYE Side: Living Between Life & Death, Jasmine has channeled her personal experiences and professional expertise into a powerful mission: to ignite inner strength in others. From her transformative work as a medical social worker to her dynamic role as a counselor, Jasmine’s story is one of passion, perseverance, and profound empathy. Join us as we explore the remarkable path Jasmine has carved out, offering inspiration and insight into her unique approach to healing and growth.
- What inspired you to start Ignite LLC and write your book, Side BYE Side: Living Between Life & Death?
Ignite, LLC was born during a time when I was wrestling with finding my own inner strength, challenged to take a leap that put me outside of my comfort zone- to do something I loved passionately- and to stop doing something I had previously loved deeply. This experience, along with years of working with people experiencing their own unique transitions, keeps me inspired daily to ignite that strength in others. It started as a way to do side jobs from very basic web page design, job/career coaching, editing, and project management. It started while I was working on completing my Masters in Social Work.
The book was started many years ago; a dream of mine being to author my own book as people kept telling me my unique experience was worth reading about, thinking about, and talking about. However with COVID-19 and an interview which waved me into the Marquis Who’s Who in 2022-2023 I decided it was time to get this long term project done. The grief and loss I watched as our globe experienced a planet wide post traumatic stress event that changed the way we lived, breathed, and entered the world because the catalyst to the research (living between life and death) I’d been doing on some levels, my entire life.
- Can you share more about your journey from working as a medical social worker to establishing your private practice full-time?
While in graduate school, because of an internship that had me figuring out how to support and grief with parents who lost a brand new baby I entered my second field placement in hospice. I came to love the philosophy of hospice which is caring for the individual who has limited time on Earth while also caring for the family or friends as family or facility who was caring for that individual. Initially I’d thought I’d work for that hospice agency, however they were growing so fast they filled the position they had wanted to give me; and a colleague told me to apply to the hospital having just left a job there herself.
My work as a medical social worker was intense. There were so many things I lived and learned in that time from June 2013 (had just graduated mid May) until January 2020. One of my first favorite people to work with at the hospital had talked to me about how she’d started her private practice already, as a pre-licensed counselor. We both were working per diem shifts and by September 1 I’d turned Ignite into the part-time counseling practice that I thought would take me years to develop.
I stayed at the hospital and intended to because I loved the team approach, I cared about my colleagues and it made sense to me to do both. I’d previously seen solo private practitioners as too isolated and so this worked for me as I worked to complete my licensure and became a licensed clinical social worker in that time. This allowed me to bill insurance.
I left the job for numerous reasons- some the bureaucracy, the challenge of getting patients “out the door” and the culture of telling on each other rather than walking in my open door policy had my integrity questioned, had my boss coaching me weekly for a six month period only then to tell me at the end of this- that it had been unfair and unnecessary to do so because the discharge plans that I was accused of failing were not about my work- they were about insurance denying claims and things that the team deemed necessary and patients and families choosing how they wanted to live their life despite the team’s recommendations. So I gave them six months, also as I watched one of my longest time friends fight stage 4 cancer and stepped in to help her, to care for my “half daughter” and opened the practice full time January 2020.
My practice was full by February. COVID-10 lockdown happened mid March and since then, I’ve generally always had a waitlist and too many people to care for.
- How does your personal story and background influence your work and your approach to grief, loss, and trauma?
I was the eldest of two, born to an immigrant mom and a mostly Caucasian/Native American father. All three of my family of origin were diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. My father also had a progressive neuromuscular illness (Charcot Marie Tooth Disease) and my understanding we all needed counseling became the perspective I grew up knowing.
Psychiatric hospitalizations were numerous, but not talked about in public. I later learned my father identified as loving men only and then his own self destructive patterns became so much so that the person I love most in the world, I had to say goodbye to. My first memory of losing my Grandma Olivia, I was 4. It was in losing his mom, that my dad was first psychiatrically hospitalized and diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. My mom’s diagnosis was not much longer after that. My sibling was diagnosed at 12.
I had a cousin who fought Hodgkin’s Lymphoma twice and barely lived to tell that story. And then I became a student who graduated from Thurston High School which had a massive school shooting in May of 1998. I then lost one of my best friends, Angie to cystic fibrosis, the first love of my life broke up with me in college and while in Pittsburgh attending an all female campus I found my life’s mission to become a social worker.
- What are some key insights or lessons you’ve learned from working with clients dealing with grief and trauma?
Grief and loss are not linear. The trauma of losing is huge. Grief and loss is also not necessarily death. There are ambiguous losses – losing a limb, losing a job, losing a relationship or marriage, losing custody of a kid, miscarriage, losing our health as we age or death with chronic illness. And with all of these factors, the loss can predict how it impacts our mental well being, our sense of security.
Our culture in the US generally does not know how to talk about grief and loss. We drink it away, disassociate through sex, drugs, rock and roll or work and shaming and blaming and not owning our faults. We are hyper independent on one hand and Extremely codependent on the other.
Also every human “is dealing with grief and trauma.” Some of us have more perceived grief. Others deny it. It’s a perspective I carry- knowing we all have secondary trauma from watching images of bodies burned, exploded, or shoved in trucks, crematoriums, etc.
- Can you discuss any specific challenges you faced in balancing the demands of your practice with writing and documenting your work?
The challenge has been time. I need three more of me, at a minimum.
- How have your experiences with mental and chronic health issues within your family shaped your perspective and approach as a counselor?
I use a trauma informed approach, that sees a person’s strengths. I examine their community of support (or lack thereof) and always remind them they have the choice to make certain decisions in their life. For some I use a mentor/Coach approach, but I see this always as a side by side process because as the individual who has a right to make decisions- while I may carry education, research, and knowledge each human has their own lived experiences, lenses on those experiences, and choices in how they heal their own path with me, if they want.
- What are the biggest obstacles you’ve encountered in bringing your projects to completion, and how have you addressed them?
I stay in counseling myself to address my own personal challenges. I quarterly (if not more) look at how I may or may not be having realistic expectations. Projects have paused at times due to finances, health, or literal power outages and ice storms, wildfires, and more. The work as a medical social worker taught me a lot about remaining fluid – there’s always more work to be done, but caring for me in the midst of that is key.
- How do you handle the emotional and mental strain of working in such a high-demand field?
I see a counselor, prescriber, acupuncturist, primary care provider, naturopathic ND and I am a First Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. I have a strong base of family or friends as family and I always love my animal children (current dogs, cat, and fish). Part of my own trauma has been letting go of the idea that I would be a mom. I’ve become a side mom, stand in mom, and fur baby mom as I realized I genetically did not want to pass down health and mental health while working in the field I do. I consult with colleagues routinely so I have additional perspectives, & accountability partners.
Because I grew up in a family where mental strain and emotional vulnerability were the usual – what I live with in my profession – is very familiar.
- What advice would you give to other women who are pursuing their passion projects while managing personal and professional challenges?
I work hard not to judge the process. Yes deadlines will get pushed out, yes people or our own judgements may get in the way at times. Blocks happen be it mental blocks, physical blocks or life circumstances. For me, I just found that what I had to say, was essential in thinking about my own legacy, that if I should die – that everyone who wants to know – could know why I do what I do and why I am the way I am.
- In what ways do you use storytelling in your work, and why do you think it’s an effective tool for addressing grief and trauma?
Culturally, stories are passed down. Trauma can also be held in secret or distorted by perceptions. As I’ve learned about my Chinese ancestry (many killed or died in war with Japan), my Native American background (Cherokee, Shawnee, and Chickasaw from what I can tell), and Anglo Saxon forefathers (Presidents John Adams & John Quincy Adams) these are the lessons they started and I hope to always continue to evolve.
- Can you elaborate on the impact of your work on tweens, teens, and their families?
I started my own counseling as an 8th grader. Thank goodness! That counselor told me my community was in desperate need of individuals who would work with tweens and teens. This work is powerful, complex at times with hormones and family dynamics. Neuroscience and brain development research has been phenomenal over the last 10 to 20 years. If my clients enter at this age, we do have a HUGE opportunity to work to re-wire the developing brain. Helping them understand that, helping their parentals or schools understand that, and being open to them not changing is a powerful tool.
- What role do finances play in the development and execution of your projects, and how have you managed these challenges?
Finances are the most challenging because I don’t generally know when pay day will be. I have best guesses, and predictions, but claims can be held up for months- can be left unpaid and it can all be time consuming. While insurance allows many to access my services, I do also utilize a sliding scale because some people just want to see who they want to see, some don’t have any coverage, and still others don’t want employers or family to know.
- How do you envision the documentary complementing your book and contributing to the broader conversation about grief and post-traumatic growth?
The documentary comes from a select crew of clients who wanted to tell their parts of their story. My documentarian, being also a close friend and confidant, will illustrate with my perspectives with his craft and for those who don’t read, or who want to hear how the side by side approach can work – or even what counseling can look like (it’s hard stuff) this I think will be a good addition to what I’ve written and lesson planned in the book which includes discussion questions, lesson plans, and ideas for a classroom/group setting, or as a stand alone for the independent learner.
- What have been the most rewarding moments or successes in your journey with Ignite LLC?
Finding the biological family of an adopted human who had been looking for them for years. I think it took me 9 days. It’s been magical to watch.
Grieving the grandfather who died the day before my birthday with another young person as she struggles both with her physical and mental health.
Watching my transgender humans transition into who they’ve dreamed of becoming.
Connecting a young girl to her biological father who is out of state, often in prison, and searching for a way to both connect her so they can grieve the loss of her mom together as she continues to question her own identity and place in the world.
Helping young men find the love of their life or the career for now.
Saying goodbye to old thought patterns, sexual abuse pasts, and reminding them all, they can grow from their pain. But it’s okay to sit with it too. It hurts to be human.
- How do you stay motivated and focused on your goals despite the challenges you face?
I am clear with my own legacy, work to always be intentional with my time, finances, and life passion. And I let the “past failings’ be pauses or learning moments to say, yep I’m human too. I radically accept it’s a messy existence to be human and real.
Website: www.igniteinnerstrength.com
