Claire Hauxwell is a woman who has redefined what it means to live abroad with resilience and flair. After over 15 years of navigating life in five countries across three continents, Claire transformed her experiences of loneliness, overwhelm, and self-discovery into a powerful narrative in her book, Badass Abroad: How to Get Your Expat Shift Together. In this candid interview, she opens up about her journey from feeling like a flailing spouse to becoming a fierce, capable woman thriving in the expatriate world. Claire’s story is one of perseverance, humor, and authenticity, offering inspiration and wisdom to women facing major life transitions.
What inspired you to write “Badass Abroad: How to Get Your Expat Shift Together”?
I was really proud of the internal work I’d done to see myself and the life I’d created through a different lens. I figured there were probably loads of other women who were feeling like I did before I did all the things to shift out of being helpless flailing spouse to a capable and fierce badass abroad. I’d always loved to write, and if my words could help just one woman feel seen and understood, then being vulnerable enough to share my personal story would be worth it.
Can you share a bit about your personal journey living abroad and how it influenced your writing?
I have been living outside of the US for over 15 years now – five countries on three continents, and a handful of languages that I’ve never been able to master. I’ve raised two children abroad with my husband of 22 years, and have dogs with more stamps in their passports than some people. Living abroad isn’t always the fairytale that many make it out to be. There have been major moments of loneliness and overwhelm during my time abroad, and I often turn to writing when those feelings creep into my psyche. I started writing a blog many years ago, and friends would say, “When I read your writing, it’s like listening to you tell a story.” I’ve always loved that idea, and when it came to writing my book, I really wanted it to feel like you were reading a message from a friend.
What were some of the biggest struggles you faced while living abroad and rediscovering yourself at 40?
My biggest struggle has always been the necessity of having to recreate my little part of the world, AKA my life. While my husband and kids also have to do this, they do it in a much more structured way… He goes to an office where he is already known, working in an environment that is new but also slightly familiar, and always using the only language he speaks (English). My kids go to school where they are engulfed in a familiar and friendly environment surrounded by kids their age. I am not saying being the new kid at school is easy, because it’s not and can come with a lot of anxiety. What I am saying is that their transitions have been much more structured. My kids have been the new kids a lot of times, and each transition has come with its own set of obstacles. For me the transition from country to country is much less structured… I have to restart my life completely from scratch – from finding friends to mastering the grocery store or figuring out the right words to make a doctor appointment. There is nothing like feeling helpless when you know you are so capable and independent.
How did your alter ego, Dandelion, play a role in shaping the narrative of your book?
Dandelion gave me the creative space to tell my story without feeling like I was walking naked through a crowd of people. Yes, I am her and she is me, but telling it through her made it a little more fun and a lot less scary.
What advice do you have for women who are also going through major life transitions and trying to find their path?
Life is not a straight line, and if it were, it’d be pretty boring. Instead, it has curves, dips, loops zig zags, backtracking, and plateaus. These are the places where we really learn about ourselves and what it takes for us to succeed, and what we will learn from the mistakes we make. Be okay with knowing you don’t know what you dont’ know, and give yourself grace when you feel like you are totally hanging upside down.
How did you maintain authenticity and honesty in your writing while also providing self-development insights?
I am a straight shooter. I will never tell anyone that I’m an expert at anything, especially when it comes to self-development. That probably sounds weird, but I believe the only person that is an expert on you, is you. So, when I talk or write about self-development, it is based on things I’ve tried and worked for me. Maybe they will work for you too, but you are the only one who can know if they will or not. I am not afraid to tell you I’ve failed at something, and I’m kind of willing to make a fool out of myself to see if I can or can’t do something. Even if I can’t, it doesn’t mean I won’t… it just means, I haven’t yet.
Can you talk about the balance between memoir and self-help in your book and why that approach was important to you?
I like story telling, but I love to share my learned wisdom too. It just felt like the right way to accomplish the goals of the project.
What impact do you hope “Badass Abroad” will have on readers, particularly women in similar life stages?
I hope readers realize they are not the only one battling all the things, and that they don’t have to struggle with the messy midlife of losing your confidence, feeling lonely and having to redefine one’s purpose all by themselves. The midlife is hard to navigate and it’s always better when you can walk beside someone who you can trust.
Were there any unexpected lessons or revelations that surfaced during the writing process?
Yes, a big one. I had been very resistant to becoming a coach myself, but in writing this book, I realized that I truly enjoy helping others see the truest version of themselves. I became an ICF certified life coach during the writing process, and now have the ability to with clients all over the world.
How has your perspective on life, career, and personal growth evolved since writing this book?
I feel like I will never stop evolving as a person. I have gotten really clear on what makes me most fulfilled, and discovered that a simpler and slower life allows me to be more intentional with my time and energy. This gives me the ability to try new things, connect with people on a deeper level, and also take time for myself when I choose.
What strategies or techniques did you find most helpful in overcoming challenges and obstacles along your journey?
Boundaries – In my opinion, being able to implement and stick to boundaries is a skill that will continue to empower you until your last days. I became so tired of feeling like a doormat, and I couldn’t allow it to continue anymore. Leaning into the discomfort of persevering had so many benefits – confidence building being the biggest.
Could you share a memorable moment or anecdote from your time abroad that significantly influenced your book or personal development?
When I moved to Mexico, I had all of my purpose removed. My children went to school full-time on a bus. We employed a lovely caring woman who cooked, cleaned, and even cared for my kiddos if needed. My husband’s company provided our family with a driver, so I no longer needed to get behind the wheel of a car. I had no friends, and more time on my hands than I knew what to do with… it was uncomfortable and scary. It was a really hard time for me, and forced me to rethink what I wanted my life to look like going forward.
What role did humor, sarcasm, and authenticity play in connecting with your audience and conveying your message effectively?
Conveying my authentic voice wasn’t the hard part for me when writing this book. I love all things humor and sarcasm, and if you have ever had a conversation with me, you would recognize a piece of writing that is mine because it sounds just like me.
How do you navigate the balance between vulnerability and strength in your storytelling?
I love how stand-up comedians have the guts to go on stage, tell stories about life, and laugh at themselves or others without stressing about what the audience’s reaction is going to be… I mean, I’m sure they worry about being funny, that’s the whole point, right? Will the jokes they tell hit a nerve? Probably, but that’s what makes them relatable and makes life funny. Maybe one day that will be me.
What future projects or endeavors are you currently excited about or working on?
Right now, life is multi-faceted. I’m building a house from 5000 miles away, I am becoming a certified professional organizer – I’m taking my love for tossing things in the garbage to the next level, I’m getting ready to launch my oldest daughter into adulthood, and I’m learning to love horses – specifically one named Merlin.
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