In an inspiring journey of resilience and empowerment, Cesivel Ortiz shares her deeply personal story of overcoming adversity, trauma, and domestic violence to create a life filled with purpose and passion. From experiencing homelessness and abuse to becoming a successful entrepreneur and advocate for sustainability, Cesivel Ortiz delves into her upbringing, motivations, and the transformative moments that shaped her into the strong, compassionate individual she is today. Through her eco-friendly fashion brand, CosmicMaya, she not only aims to heal the environment but also empower indigenous women and inspire others to believe in their ability to rewrite their own stories.
Can you share more about your upbringing and how it has shaped who you are today?
Well, my parents are refugees from a civil war in central America so they fled with nothing to a foreign land & not knowing the language. My parents with much ptsd, it was difficult for them to be able to integrate causing a lot of financial hardship for us. Growing up, my mother while waiting for her political asylum to be approved, looked for a lot of community, organization resources to help her. We would get food from churches & programs. My father was violent towards my mother in several occasions so we did have to separate from him resulting in us living in about 3 different shelters from California & Las Vegas. I love my father & mother but I am aware that my mother did so much for us as kids & a single mom. Our childhood was nothing but struggle.
We were practically homeless, living in peoples garages, lining up to churches to get food & clothing. We moved about 30= times from what I remember. My mom did work most of the time but it never really was enough for 3,4,5 then 6 kids. The church helped us a lot but in the same token, a member of the church sexually molested my older sister & I from 5years old to 12. Growing up was very confusing. I remember some of my best memories from Christmas in the shelters because we got a lot of stuff & we did a lot of fun trips. Growing up, my mother raised us vegetarian, strict in teaching us high principles but would also have mental breakdowns where she would want to kill herself & we would beg her not to. By 15, I was in a abusive relationship without really understanding. He decided I was his girlfriend & hit me 2 weeks into knowing him. For the 2 years I was around him it got worse, physical, verbal,emotional. I couldn’t talk to or look at his friends, would lock me up in the room, drag me from my hair across the room, broke a broom stick on my back, broke my finger, threaten to kill me & my family, made me go get money from men at the gas station, wanted me to become a stripper at 18. By the time I’m 16, I got quite ill with a UTI that turned into sepsis affecting my kidneys & water retention in my brain. Im rushed to the ER where I’m also told I’m pregnant. I begged the doctors to let me tell my dad the news & I felt my life was over. At this time, I was living with the abusive boyfriend because my mom was staying at the weekly suites with my younger brothers & sisters. The abuse continued during & right after the birth of my daughter. I decided to risk it all & left. Either he would kill me or let me raise the baby on my own the way she deserved. I gave him a few chances to be a father to my daughter but by the time she was 4 his continious instability & threats made it difficult to continue a coparenting relationship. I never asked for child support or financial help, I worked 2 jobs, graduated high school & continue onto college. I always had this deep knowing, I was here for something purposeful & I would pull a lot strength for that space. I would say my soul always carried me through when my mind & physical self would feel lost.
I grew up in different parts of L.A. Boyle Heights being what I represent in part, Ramona Gardens, many hoods, struggle of survival & generational trauma everywhere. I became an observer of everything.
I think my upbringing help me tremendously to be able to witness the struggle a human can go through. As an adult, I can empathize and understand those who are going through hardship because experienced it. As I wrote this, I cried realizing how inspiring my story is. How it has inspired me to fight the odds. How strong the soul really is on the spiritual journey.
Honestly I’m a humanitarian by heart & inspired by people that helped me & others as a kid, so I now get to be that person.
What inspired you to pursue Environmental Science and cognitive psychology in college?
Ive always observed human behavior. Took parenting classes for my first born. I was always curious about why humans behaved /did things a certain way. Strangers helped me as a kid, without knowing me. It really showed me the good in someone. I wanted to understand why my mom was different growing up. At one point, I wanted to save/help my mother, then I realized that it wasn’t my responsibility & I was acting out childhood wounds. I would constantly inner reflecting. The ego, mind & soul & which action belonged to which, I always saw people do deeds that benefit another and others who were doing harmful things & would break those behaviors down to understand.
This is where Environmental Science came in. Im another, I’ve always wondered about the future
Did people care about the environmental issues that had been going on. First of, did they know about them?
How was our way of thinking affecting environmental issues.
Why was no one really focused on the ecosystem damages besides science people.
If it was our behavioral choices & decisions who created these problems, then how did we shift that? Everything comes down to the conditioning of the human being & shifting that.
Wanting to make a change for the better of humanity. Humanity always at the forefront.
How did you find the courage to leave the abusive relationship at such a young age?
My daughter. I honestly think she was sent to me so I can awaken the courage within me to liberate myself. No longer waiting for the other person to change. She deserved a fair, stable life as a child. No child needs to suffer. I wanted to break the cycles I had also seen my mother go through. This awareness all made me think of what my future would look like if I stayed. I think observing adult experiences as a child really makes you develop differently. You are wiser at such a young age.
I just couldn’t accept that this was all there was in life, suffering.I had low self esteem, didn’t know what self love was but I always also had this knowing that we can make a differentce if we learned how to listen to the wisdom of spirit through life. Faith. I’m a big person of faith when hardships present themselves. I’m a huge knower of the law of vibration as well. To face fear in the face to liberate yourself.
I think women who have been in domestic violence relationships can understand this if they were able to make it out.
What were some of the biggest challenges you faced while working two jobs to support your daughter and continue your education?
I honestly was in survival mode for years. I just focused on working to support me & my child. I didn’t really think about love or going out. It was really difficult being so young taking care of a child. I just had to suck it all up & be strong for her. I would cry in secret because my life was so different from others my age. My family helped me watch my daughter but were also quite hard on me. I was no longer a child but an adult. That was my mistake so I had to pay for it. I think feeling like I had to work harder to prove I was a good person because I had a child so young, people would constantly judge me.
Having my own trauma while taking care of a child, not being able to process it. Having to be financially responsible with no support from her father. I chose not to get any welfare assistance because I was embarrassed. Trying to mature myself while raising a child. Mothers are expected to have all the answers.
Can you talk about your decision to transition from your corporate job to starting your own business with your family?
At 18, I started working in political campaigns. Ive always been an intellectual person with interest in systems. How does a system work.
My resume is mostly working with campaigns, standing up to injustice in environmental campaigns, Helping an organization out, building a playground at one of the shelter I once lived at.
Opening new casinos or Caesars as a VIP cocktail server on the high rollers area. Being the Treasure for the environmental science club in college, creating food programs for local grassroots groups, planting trees, cleaning up the local land, feeding our houseless community members.
Did a tech school program for Tesla offering me a job in Reno with housing paid & 75k a year. I declined as I didn’t want to live in Reno or work for corporations. They had really disappointed me in putting profit over the earth & the people.
My last corporate job was with south point casino. I was there for 7 years. My manager was wonderful. I’ve always been a hard worker. I ran the Tack store where everything was managed for the horses that came to show. I decided to resign because I had outgrown the position & for 2 years, dealt with a racist manager that kept harassing the cleaning crew.
I kept defending them & he started racially harassing me. We had many meetings but I decided that it was a sign for me to embark on my own. I had saved a lot of money & my older brother right after asked me to join him to open our second location for our family car audio shops. I hesitated as I was figuring out what I wanted to do. I decided to join him since I knew physics/ the energetic language of components from my program with Tesla. We are now with our third location & I’m creating my purpose through Cosmicmaya ecofriendly fashion for the future.
What motivated you to create the Ecofriendly brand, CosmicMaya, and how does it honor your parents?
As a mother of 2, I created cosmicmaya while pregnant with my second daughter! Studying Env. Science I thought of what would happen to their future, to the next generation? What would we pass onto them? Why were we allowing corporations to damage the land.
Knowing the extensive benefits of hemp & realizing that in a capitalistic society, we vote with our dollar. That the consumer can make the shift to a sustainable future but they first needed to have that option.
That is was the people who had the power. Corporations weren’t powerful without our dollars. I accepted that if we wanted to make a change, we were going to have to do it ourselves. This is where the hemp fashion comes in. Cosmicmya name came from my roots. My parents are Maya descendant. Indigenous ways run in our way of life. We believe in honoring the land, keeping the land sacred & being in harmony with nature. Sustainable fashion represents that.
How do you believe your brand contributes to healing the environment and empowering indigenous women?
Our products are being made out of hemp, hemp is considered the holy grain of plants for healing the environment. Almost everything can be made out of hemp. One of them clothing fashion as its one of the biggest contributors to environmental damage.
Hemp removes twice the CO2 out of the air/atmosphere than trees & it grows in 100 days vs us waiting 20-80 years for trees to grow. We can no longer wait or just rely on trees but we should still plant them to assist in removing C02 from the atmosphere.
Hemp also replenishes the soil removing toxins, spilled petroleum, minerals making it prime for healthy planting.
Theres a long list of hemp benefits that everyone should know about! We look forward to bringing all that awareness to the collective so they know there can be a bright future.
The indigenous women of Nepal, Peru have worked with hemp for generations prior to countries making it illegal. It was mixed in with marijuana as being one & the same but its not.
My mother being indigenous, these women remind me of my mother & should be helped. We work with giving them fair trade prices & uplifting them while they continue a long standing tradition while we heal Mother Earth. We are a futuristic yet ancient ideal bringing both of those energies together in a sacred way. To honor the feminine in a patriarchal system. Thats powerful & the cocreation of the new earth.
Can you share any specific experiences or moments on your “awakening journey” that were particularly transformative for you?
Oh my goodness! This whole journey! Hahaha its been quite a ride of so many layers of awakening, its feels never ending as were always healing another layer as we continue journeying through.
One of my biggest spiritual awakening moments was in my 7 year relationship where it ended & I felt so completely lost & broken. I would wake up in the middle of the night questioning this physical life. My soul speaking to the “me. I couldnt really speak about what was happening to me. I would say it was the beginning of my dark knight of the soul. You realize that this whole reality is a matrix and we are here to awaken to that. This reality is many dimensions. I have this saying “You are your own healer” If I were to be honest, I would just be being a fairy, a dreamer somewhere in nature but I do understand that for me, I do have a purpose here beyond myself as a cocreator of this reality.
What role did therapy play in helping you overcome past wounds and challenges?
Therapy really can be a hold space for you while you unravel to yourself what you have been through & kind of lets you see you have made it through. The mind & emotions can feel stuck in another timeline so therapy can bring you to the present moment to process & see it from the perspective of the survivor & eventually thriver. Therapy can help you put the words you didn’t know how to put. It shows you how strong you really are or can be to overcome situations that felt like a death of a past version of you. It can help with letting go as you don’t feel as alone the process. It can help with moving on & having hope again. Vulnerability is liberating. Experiencing your own humanity is acceptance of all layers of yourself. You can really learn from your experiences from this space.
What advice do you have for individuals who may feel overwhelmed by their circumstances and unsure of how to begin rewriting their own stories?
I think many have a hard time in letting go because they won’t know themselves outside of the story they have lived. The brain likes comfort in knowing. Its trying to keep us alive. Not knowing can signify a form of death to the memory that doesn’t know where to go. To remember they are not their mind. They are the guide to their mind.
I would tell them to close their eyes, cry & speak to their heart & say I deserve a good life just like everyone else. I am enough because I am. God wanted me here so I am here. I validate myself. I am accountable for me. I Am responsible for this life because I can. I free myself from anyone else coming to save me. My power is within me, that is a gift! I am powerful to take the first step. I am smart to find the resources to help me. I am intelligent to figure it out just like everyone else.
To look back at everything they have gone through and are still here. The fight is almost over, just get to the other side internally & everything else will follow after. To put themselves first to take care of themselves. That many of us have been there & done it when we didn’t know the way.
How do you maintain resilience and hope during difficult times?
I see it as me not having another option. I understand that life can be hard in different ways for different people at different times. That life is experiencing itself through me. God is expressing itself through all of us. That life is real because of humanity. I am part of that web. If you think about that truth, it lights you up. Im a mother, my children eyes look to mine for safety & guidance. My ancestors fought for us to be alive, my mother struggled but never gave up so I can’t either even if I wanted to. Dreams want to be real through my existence. I find all the little things I’m grateful for & remember what I’m fighting for & know its worth. Love is a divine force.
Can you discuss the importance of self-care and self-love in your journey of transformation?
I saw as self care as this would be the youngest I would ever be, that even if I had many responsibilities on me, I was worthy of taking rest, taking moments to enjoy, to do something I loved. That it was important! If you don’t take care of you, who is going to? People can only love you based on how they see you value you.
Self love was hard for the longest time to do in long term periods but eventually it became a must since I understood that how my life went was my responsibility so I needed to make decisions based on that.
I also always thought of “what would I tell my daughters” if they came to me for advice? I took my own advice!! This was a celebration moment for me as woman. Now I focus on what is important & priority to me based on knowing my intrinsic value.
What are your long-term goals and aspirations for yourself and your brand?
I see us already in many retail locations of our own to eventually go worldwide! Those are the plans for end of 2024/early 2025.
Making different lines on baby clothes, children, different styles in fashion from hip-hop to the most sophisticated pieces for elegance. The vision of hemp is for everyone since we all live on the earth.
We are already partnered with many local retail small businesses in Las Vegas That sell our hemp bags supporting our mission.
Some are branded with our partners vegan logo brands #nobonesnoblood @down2earth vegan cuisine.
We hope to shift the fashion industry to ecofrienly sustainable products. We hope to bring hope to our consumers that they can make a difference in this world. That they are the power to create a better world, one hemp bag or piece at a time.
How do you balance running a business with your personal life and responsibilities?
This was a hard one in the beginning of cosmicmaya. I was pregnant, then nurturing a newborn. Everything has had to take longer as I had to take one step at a time, being patient with the unraveling slower than the average business. I remind myself that my children won’t always be little but I can always create a business. Celebrate my little wins! I did it! I was creating what was once only a vision, so I was progressing & now I’m writing to a magazine in LA that is getting to know Cosmicmaya lol. That I was a mother first. That a clean home was my sanctuary. That I wasn’t hustling but living my purpose so I had to trust.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with readers about your journey or the message you hope to convey through your story?
Yes, I just would love to see more people with dreams to believe in their power to make them happen. The journey sometimes will get hard but make giving up not an option, readjustment? Yes but not to give up.
The world has been made by people just like us with difficult stories but the strength of the soul is so strong and available if you allow it to guide you. I share my story because it inspires me. Let your story inspire you so you can see how far you have mad it. Everyday is a new day to try again & learn something new. Be the hope in your life. Your story might inspire someone else.
