Molly McCreight’s journey is a powerful testament to the courage it takes to follow your heart, even when it leads you down unexpected paths. In her debut book, The Sun Became Shy, she opens up about her evolving relationship with faith, confronting challenges, doubts, and deep personal growth. Inspired by a simple yet profound question, Molly transformed her private poetry into a public offering that speaks to the highs and lows of spirituality. Through her words, she hopes to inspire others to embrace their own questions, honor their journeys, and find healing in the process.
1. What inspired you to write "The Sun Became Shy"?
The idea for “The Sun Became Shy” was planted when a good friend asked - ‘if you were to do anything in the world without worrying about anyone’s opinion on it, what would it be?’. I thought about it for a few minutes and the answer was ‘write a book’. At the time I had been writing poetry for my own processing of my faith and began to share it with others when they expressed a feeling I thought it would match well with. After sharing poems, there would be encouragement from others to share it more often - I thought that meant talking about it, but later I realized it could be shared much easier if it’s in a book. I felt like I had something substantial to share about the faith journey and decided to put my journey together on paper and share it with the world.
2. Can you share your personal journey of leaving and then reconnecting with religion as it relates to your book?
Yes! I grew up in an evangelical Christian household. We went to church every Sunday and we would go to a youth group. I thought for a while that religion and church were adult things while the kids would go play games and listen to fun stories until the adult service got out. As I entered high school, I had the wherewithal to understand that I could start making my own decisions about what activities I wanted to participate in. I started hearing from people that they didn’t go to church or like church and were making fun of people who did. This was one major moment where I thought ‘I didn’t actually choose that. I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.’ I felt unhappy and was dealing with the typical teenage dramas that feel earth-shattering - and I was feeling like there should be more to life than who gets to go in the party bus for prom. It was also a small town and I was starting to feel claustrophobic. A local church was going on their annual mission trip and I asked if I could go because people would come back talking about how fun it was. I went and heard the gospel daily while learning what it looked like for a kid at my age to be a Christian as well - it wasn’t just for adults. That week I decided that following God was something I wanted to be a part of. I quickly became a youth group leader and eventually became the worship leader for the ‘adult service’. In my generation, there as a heavy emphasis on being ‘radical’ and being someone who could hear God’s calling. I thought that being a worship leader was my ‘calling’ and pursued it into college, becoming a worship major. One semester later, the music department decided not to continue my enrollment. I also had been struggling with hearing stories from other Christians about their fake healings, even though they spoke at several churches about being healed, friends who were gay were being bullied out and it wasn’t accommodating to women in leadership who were sometimes more capable than the men. Lots of things transpired and I ended up in Haiti for a summer where we experienced significant spiritual warfare being in the zone where voodoo originated. I learned that there are other spiritual forces at work and felt like I hadn’t explored all options/ God obviously didn’t care about His people if there was people living in those conditions and not answering prayers with a yes. I fell into questioning if Christianity was actually true, speaking to other people about their experiences and dealing with spiritual warfare for months. After years of a spiritual depression, I called my pastor from back home and he encouraged me to try a new church. I went and prayed, ‘God if I don’t find community here then I’m done with you.’ The first moment I walked into the church a couple a few years older than me greeted me and we learned we had gone to the same college and they invited me over to their house for dinner later. It was a very loud yes, so I decided to pursue Christianity again with a new perspective.
3. How has your experience with religion influenced the themes and narrative of your book?
My experience with religion has been anything but linear or steady. Many people assume religious believers are constant and unthinking in why or how they follow a teaching. I believe it’s caused me to think deeper and engage more with life than if I wasn’t following a faith practice. It directly influenced my books themes of nature as I often escaped to a more remote place to meditate, think and pray about my faith practices and what it really meant. There’s imagery of it being night and day throughout the whole book, with the Divine being the Sun as a being who is hiding from me despite me looking for Him. I felt like I was in the darkness or in an unknown territory when I decided God wasn’t for me, which is represented by Night.
4. What were some of the major challenges you faced while writing about such a personal topic?
One of the biggest challenges in writing this book was my own self. I was worried it would be just more words in an already noisy world or that people would read it and not understand what I was saying. The anxiety in making something public was a conversation to be had with my therapist, and ultimately something I was able to push aside when I pressed ‘complete publication’. I also felt very lost in the publication process. I thought I would have to have a publisher and spend a few hundred to a few thousand dollars to finish my book. I learned that when you ask for help, your friends can show up in incredible ways. The internet also has a lot of great resources on how to publish your book for free or very cheap.
5. How did your mental health play a role in your writing process and your exploration of this theme?
So, I do have diagnosed anxiety - and I know I’m not alone in that. But, I’ve had years of therapy and was able to name when I entered a more sensitive season due to putting myself out there more. It did make me more aware of people’s opinions and what they were saying when I told them I was writing a book. I took note of how many people disengaged when I said it’s a poetry book. A lot of the people who I didn’t scare off with poetry tuned out when I said it’s about when I left the Church and found God. I learned to use my anxieties to create excellent work. I don’t have a degree in poetry and didn’t study it, but I’m proud of it and that’s what matters.
6. What emotions and thoughts did you grapple with during the writing of your book?
I was wrestling with feelings of anxiety. Under that umbrella it was imposter syndrome and I worried that I wouldn’t be producing something that is useful. I also felt nervous about people reading my work and judging how I was processing and understanding faith. I grew up in a very black and white way of approaching the Bible and my book is anything but black and white. It leaves room for questions, mysticism and other ways of thinking that the evangelical church tends to stay away from.
7. How has writing "The Sun Became Shy" impacted your own understanding and relationship with religion?
Writing out my experience with leaving the Church was a great way to process how I really felt and what I learned along the way. Writing a letter to someone in therapy is a common practice to help move on from a hurtful relationship and writing about my experience was similarly cathartic.
8. What strategies did you use to manage the emotional and mental challenges associated with writing about such a personal experience?
9. How do you maintain a sense of balance and self-care while working on emotionally intense projects like this one?
Since I wasn’t working with a publisher, I gave myself time to write out the book. There wasn’t a pressure to meet a deadline or to write a certain number of pages. I kept working on it when I wanted to and not when I had to, which helped me to balance the emotions it took to write it and start marketing.
10. What do you hope readers will take away from "The Sun Became Shy"?
I hope readers can feel known in their own struggle with religion. It’s not linear and it’s not always solid ground. It’s something we can and should wrestle with continuously. I also am hoping they can know that it’s okay to ask questions and take a break from what people say you ‘should’ do. I didn’t read my Bible or pray even though every pastor I had listened to at a church said I should do it every day. No, find your own spiritual practice that works for you in that season. For me, it was poetry and writing, it was listening to music and being in nature - connecting with where we came from.
11. What advice would you give to other women who are writing about their personal experiences or struggles?
Just do it! Even if you don’t aim to publish it or share with anyone, writing it down and reading your story can help you find a 10,000 foot perspective and see your own pain points.
13. How do you handle feedback or criticism, especially when it relates to personal and sensitive topics?
14. What has been the most rewarding aspect of sharing your story through your book?
15. What message or piece of advice would you offer to women who are facing their own challenges and seeking to find their voice through writing?
I had to ask myself, “Do I want to be someone who lets other people’s opinions prevent me from doing something I want?” I decided I didn’t and that helped me continue moving forward. There are opportunities for negative thinking and doubts can creep in, but you can’t let them win. You have to continue to pursue your values, which for me is to love God and love others well.
IG: @molly.e.mccreight
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Website www.mollyemccreight.com
