Growing up in Southern Ohio, Kelsie E Stark discovered her passion for writing at the tender age of 10, crafting short stories and poetry that belied her years. By 12, she had self-published her first book, and her journey as an author was set in motion. Kelsie’s deeply personal works, including “Unspoken,” “You,” and her latest, “I Will Be Free,” explore the complexities of emotion, love, and trauma, resonating with readers who find solace in her words. Her resilience and honesty shine through as she shares her experiences with abuse and healing, offering hope and understanding to those who might feel alone in their struggles.
Can you share a bit about your background and what led you to start writing your books?
I grew up in Southern Ohio and started writing short stories and poetry at the age of 10. I was always told I had an old soul, it reflected in my work. “You’re too young to have felt these feelings and experienced these things!” When I turned 12 years old, I self published my first book of short stories. My parents wanted me to do the things I did best however they could support me. From then, I stayed with poetry and published “Unspoken” and “You” when I was 17.
What inspired the titles “I Will Be Free,” “Unspoken,” and “You”?
“Unspoken” is one of my favorite books because it was inspired by classical music and fairytales. I would listen to classical music and think of what the words or story would be to that music. The sound inspired stories. I would also write my version of fairytales but I made them macabre. “You” was primarily inspired by my first crush as a child, and how my feelings evolved into late teen, adulthood. The longing and wanting for something unknown and exciting. It foreshadowed my future relationship that flows into “I Will Be Free”. This newest set of poetry, published in 2022, was started when I turned 18. The poetry begins with some narrative about my emotions and depression. I didn’t realize until later that this book is a timeline of mental, emotional, and sexual abuse within my first real relationship with a narcissist who had groomed me and exploited me for 8 years.
Can you describe the journey that led you to write about your experiences in an abusive relationship?
I always seemed to write when I was very depressed. I found myself writing so much during that time that I ended up becoming my own therapist, talking myself out of leaving because I believed that “if you love something, you sit in the pain.” I became very unaware of how much control this person had over me that I thought that was loyalty. I liked having poetry come from this pain, and I let myself drown metaphorically over and over again in my words. I never let my abuser read what I wrote, in fear that he would figure out it was about him. At the end of the relationship, I became so afraid of who I became that I knew if I stayed longer, I would end of committing suicide. So the end of the book, I left to the mountains of Big Bend National Park and finally had the strength to leave the pain.
How did writing about your experiences help you cope and heal?
Transforming my feelings into poetry and imagery helped me cope with the overwhelming emotions that sat like an elephant on my chest. Forcing pain into something beautiful helped me realize how connected and conscious my soul is to the world. Nature grieves with me, and watching the world heal gave me hope.
What were some of the biggest challenges you faced while writing these books?
It took my years to finish each one, and the happier I become, the less I write. Facing myself one on one has been my biggest challenge.
How has your life changed since you published your books?
I published my books not to make money, but to let the readers know they are not alone. That you can be so in love, heartbroken, sad, and sacred but you are not alone in those feelings. Creating beauty from pain makes the darkness not so scary. My life hasn’t changed much since then, and I didn’t expect it too.
What do you hope readers take away from your books?
I hope they feel less alone and less afraid of their pain and suffering. That they can see my story and my words as a voice to speak up.
Can you share a particular moment or story from your journey that had a significant impact on you?
My first time going to the beach, I remember standing in the tide and feeling how the waves yearned for me and how the sand sunk but I stayed in the same place. That moment made me realize how much the ocean is similar to my conscious. How is it I yearn for things so badly, yet I do not move? I sink deeper into that feeling until eventually I drown. That exact moment also brought awareness to me that I was depressed and too scared to face it.
How do you stay motivated and inspired to continue writing and sharing your story?
What keeps me motivated is how much empathy I carry with me. I know my words and feelings can show someone out of the dark. I let myself be bare to the world so they can see their reflection in me. I really enjoy creating new spaces and images with words, and that they evolve into something special for others.
What advice would you give to other women who are currently in abusive relationships?
It’s okay that you may not be able to leave. It’s also okay not to understand the situation and your part in it. There’s no timeline to follow for when and if you should stay or leave. There is always someone to hear you and to see you, there will always be a hand to grab to pull you from the waves or the dark. You are worth more than your mind and heart permits you. Staying in the struggle is not loyalty. You are not weak. It takes strength to become aware. It takes courage to leave, and it takes patience to heal. You are courageous and able.
What resources or support systems did you find most helpful during your journey?
I consistently reached out to my close friends, who I could go to without judgement. I needed people to be blunt with me and help me out of denial. I spoke with therapists and started to look for more CPTSD and trauma therapy as I learned more about myself and my situation.
How has sharing your story affected your relationships with friends and family?
Sharing has brought out the confidence in me so I can speak up. My parents didn’t know that I was suffering and we grew closer in the end. I lost a lot of friends along the way, but I made even better friends during my experience, in the healing stage.
What role do social media and your online presence play in your work and advocacy?
Social media has helped me connect with those who were able to support and help me. I’ve found a way to share my voice with a larger audience.
What are your future plans for your writing and any other creative projects?
I currently am in the process of another book of poetry. This set is going to include happier work, more nature influenced, and hopefully gives my audience hope for a better future.
If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?
Speak up for yourself and don’t be afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings if they are hurting you. Please be patient with yourself and be gentle with the voice in your head. You are not your bad experiences. You are the storyteller in the end.
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