In the face of adversity, some individuals discover reservoirs of resilience that redefine their very essence. Blair Huddy’s journey embodies the epitome of such resilience, marked by a series of profound challenges that tested her spirit and fortitude. From the realization of being autistic to surviving a stroke just days after her wedding, Blair found herself thrust into a tumultuous odyssey of loss and rebuilding. Amidst the chaos, however, she confronted a betrayal that stripped her of everything she had painstakingly built, thrusting her into a state of profound vulnerability. Yet, with unwavering determination, Blair embarked on a courageous quest to reclaim her identity and reconstruct her life from the ashes of devastation. Battling through the labyrinth of despair, she emerged not as a victim, but as a beacon of indomitable strength and resilience. Today, Blair Huddy stands as a testament to the transformative power of adversity, her narrative reshaped by the crucible of hardship into one of unwavering resilience and unyielding resolve.
How did you cope with the betrayal of having someone take advantage of your situation during your recovery from the stroke?
Not well, to be honest. Initially I wasn’t really able to process much of it because of the stroke, but also because I hadn’t ever interacted with someone who would conceive of doing something like that before. It was a lot to comprehend! Pursuing legal action helped me feel better about it, but I also wrote extensively about it in my first book, and the idea that writing about it could allow me to help others truly helped me cope with what happened. Also, my husband was a huge part of coping with the betrayal and aftermath, he let me cry and scream, and gave the understanding I needed, so I could lose my shit in private. He made me feel safe. Also, Tayor Swift’s music and some very carefully curated Spotify playlists did wonders. I was also able to connect with a colleague who had interacted with the same person who betrayed me, and her experience with him was way worse than mine, which is almost inconceivable. He bankrupted her company and they’re still in litigation for a faux sexual harassment suit he filed against her, where he’s suing her for $25 MILLION. Knowing that what happened to me also helped her was a huge part of how I coped, and her experience put mine into perspective. I did also spend a significant amount of time giving back to others; getting out of my head and focusing on helping others was a major coping mechanism and turning point for dealing with the situation.
What were some of the initial steps you took to rebuild your life after losing everything and facing health challenges?
The first thing I did was stop the bleeding in my business, which at the time meant firing my staff and basically reducing my expenses to rent and food. I leaned on a trusted mentor to help give me some direction and navigate rebuilding a business. He encouraged me to get back to business development, basically rebuild the pipeline and focus on getting new clients in the door. I went straight into therapy to get emotional support and just kept putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes rebuilding my life looked like meaningful emotional and physical rest, and other times it meant pursuing as many new opportunities as I could. With my health challenges, I had to admit that rebuilding my life didn’t mean getting back to my old way of being, it meant being okay with my life looking drastically different and accepting that it didn’t necessarily mean it was bad.
Balancing the responsibilities of being the primary breadwinner and supporting your elderly father while navigating your own health issues must have been incredibly challenging. How did you manage this balancing act?
I did my absolute best at every possible junction. With every decision and juncture, I asked myself what is the best thing to do here and then did that thing. Open and honest communication helped me prioritize what needed to be balanced immediately versus what I could deprioritize to buy myself more time. I was open and honest with everyone around me, and asked for as much grace as they could give me.
Honestly, caring for others has also been a massive factor in navigating all of it. I volunteered my time by helping over 200 student loan borrowers, like myself, discharge over $2 million in predatory student loans. Being of service to others helped me rebuild my confidence and kept me focused on doing the next right thing, rather than feeling like I had to solve it all at once. When you see what other people are dealing with, it gives you a ton of perspective and I was able to see that, while obviously what I went through is horrible, there are others dealing with major problems and every single time I preferred my own challenges to theirs.
Could you elaborate on your experience with the recent near heart attack due to pharmaceutical complications? How did you overcome this setback?
On Feb 17, 2024 I took my first dose of a medication that I’ve been on for years, but it was a brand new manufacturer. I started throwing up right away. The next day, my left arm swelled like a balloon, and the following day after that I got intense chest pains and we immediately called 911. Here’s what’s pretty crazy about it: I was born in 1989 and my ambulance number was 89. I was wearing a 1989 sweater, and eventually we noticed that the medication number on the bottle was 89. All of the first responders had gone to The Eras Tour night 6 in LA, which is the show I went to, they mentioned it after seeing my sweater and that happened to be the show where Taylor announced 1989 Taylor’s Version. Those are some crazy coincidences! Turns out the manufacturer had an FDA warning issued against them on Feb 5, 2024.
In terms of overcoming, my first priority has always been my health and healing. Again, it comes down to open and honest communication and asking for leeway where I can get it. I’m learning the hard way that you can do everything right and still have everything go wrong, so much of dealing with all of these challenges has been accepting that some things are out of my hands and the rest I have to let go of if I don’t want to go insane.
You mentioned that these experiences have helped you rewrite your character narrative. Can you describe how you’ve transformed from feeling like an abused little girl to becoming a resilient individual?
I try to see these things now as plot twists rather than setbacks. Some things are simply out of my control. I also intentionally defined my core values, which for me are kindness and intention. If I know I’m being kind and acting with the right intentions, I’m heading in the right direction. I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive mother, and that was a big part of my DNA for a long time. One thing is that my birth name is Amanda, which I’ve always hated. The name Amanda never really resonated with me, but I’ve always loved Blair, my middle name, so I decided to start going by Blair. That change really changed my internal narrative; I no longer think of myself as the person I was. Amanda dealt with all of that abuse and Blair feels like a totally new start where I can be exactly who I want to be. Now, I get so excited when I hear Blair and realize people are referring to me. I love the name and loving something about myself, even starting with something as simple as my name, has really given me an internal love I didn’t have before. Now I’m the main character in my story, instead of pain being the main character.
Interestingly, after changing my name, my mother reverted to calling me “whatever your name is” and because of that, I’ve cut her off completely. I realized her behavior isn’t about me, or because of me. It’s who she is and Blair isn’t someone who tolerates that kind of behavior.
What strategies or coping mechanisms have you found most helpful in dealing with adversity and setbacks throughout your journey?
Being of service to others has been number one for me. It’s something I learned from Dave Meltzer and while it might seem contradictory, it always gives me a much-needed break from mental and physical turmoil. When you’re thinking about others and not focused on yourself, you get a little space from your own issues, and suddenly things that once felt impossible to navigate are easier to tolerate.
As a natural communicator, the simple act of talking to people has also been a major coping mechanism for me; including writing my book, Millennial: Lessons from Generation Whyyyyyyy (I published the book on Substack because I’m trying to mitigate the environmental impacts of printing physical books, we really do need to save the trees because they’re what allows us to remove the excess carbon from our atmosphere and mitigate climate change).
I’m a huge fan of taking massive, decisive action. Going through massive trauma? Okay great I’ll change my name. Someone not treating me well? Okay let’s cut them off no matter who they are or how they’re related to me. I always try to remember that I’ve got one shot on this floating rock in the middle of space, and I’ll be damned if I don’t try to make the best of it and have a ball of a time while I’m here. Because I’m not having children, although I was a dog mom for 15 beautiful years, the work I do while I’m here will be my legacy. I stopped taking on projects just for money and now only focus on work that helps other people and the planet. Using my gifts to help others, in any way I can, has always been helpful in dealing with adversity and setbacks for me.
As someone who has faced numerous obstacles and setbacks, what advice would you give to women who may find themselves stuck in similar challenging circumstances?
I have experienced major highs and lows, and one thing’s for certain: they work together cyclically. Feast always follows long periods of famine, and vice versa. Whatever you’re going through, this too shall pass.
Nothing lasts forever, least of all pain and success. Keep going. I know you want to quit, and it feels like more than you can handle, but I promise you can do this. One step at a time. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t want to quit. I feel like giving up CONSTANTLY. I yell and scream and cry AT LEAST once a day. I’m sure my husband loves it. But no matter how much I want to give up, by the next day, inevitably something will happen that re-energizes me and I’m able to keep going. Like Dory says in “Finding Nemo” just keep swimming. And if you can’t swim, find the nearest life-raft and float until you can make a decision and take your next step.
When you’re drowning, it always feels like an emergency, and you will always want the people around you to drop everything to come save you. I learned the hard way that’s not really how life works. In fact, when you’re drowning, life usually takes it as a sign you need more water and dumps a torrential downpour on you. Fabulous, right?
How has your perspective on life and resilience evolved through these experiences?
I’m certainly a lot more resilient than I thought I was, that’s for sure. My perspective on life has changed so much, I used to think life would be easy, especially as a kid. I kept waiting for adulthood so I could “finally rest or have things be easy” and I’ve learned that simply isn’t the case. Life gets harder and as it does, we get more resilient.
Now I like to think of life like playing a card game. Sometimes you just get dealt a shitty hand and there isn’t anything you can do about it. Do your best to play out the hand you get, and hope you get better cards on the next deal.
We are sentient, intelligent beings on a floating rock in the middle of space. An asteroid could hit us at any time and wipe out life as we know it, or you could lose everything tomorrow. Take the risk, shoot your shot, ask for the raise. Seriously.
Looking back, what lessons have you learned that you believe have been most valuable in your journey of rewriting your story?
First, you do not negotiate your self worth with the world; particularly not with people who are bullies. I learned this from Brene Brown, and it’s – to this day – still some of the best advice anyone has ever given publicly.
Second, take risks while you can, and always take risks that are for your benefit. You won’t meet anyone else in your life that will be willing to take that kind of risk for you, so you’ve got to do it for yourself.
Third, I learned the world doesn’t stop turning because of my pain, and it’s a harsh reality to discover that truth. At least, for me it was. Tony Robbins says people often make the mistake of falling into what he calls the three P’s of helplessness: my helplessness is pervasive, my helplessness is permanent, or my helplessness is personal. None of these things are true, and every time I’ve convinced myself they were, life proves me wrong. I have lost a lot, but the love of my life is sitting right next to me as I type this; we can always find something to be thankful for.
Lastly, if you learn anything from me, let it be that when people tell you who they are, believe them. When a person or situation gives you a sinking feeling in your stomach, DO NOT, under any circumstances, ignore that feeling. That feeling is your intuition, and it’s never wrong.
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