I envy my grandmother as a storyteller. Her ability to make you feel the moment even though the moment has passed. I envy my grandmother’s independence. Waking up each morning and constructing her own timeline. I envy my grandmother’s backyard. A land of hummingbirds and wild rabbits. I envy my grandmother’s humor. The humor blended with honesty and catches you off guard spontaneity.
My grandmother lives in a small town, nestled close to the border of two states. A small town recognizable by the railroad tracks that lie in its downtown area. In the summertime, it lays in a cloud of quiet and solitude. Moments pass by and you want to capture each one. Just to hold onto the peace. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to wake up there without the blaring signs of city life. Without the squeals of someone’s tires or dump trucks laying foundations for more housing. I step into the backyard and remember the stories of my youth. I once created one about a princess with the ability to turn flowers into candy or the water fountain that sprouted imaginary friends to talk to. As an adult, you begin to appreciate the garden for it is. Nature untouched where life continues to grow. The house is littered with pictures of the past. None more memorable than the one in the living room. Seems like a picture of dancing bears but closer observation and you find America’s history has multiple imagery.
In one of my picture albums, there is a picture of my grandmother dressed up as a gypsy/fortune teller for Halloween. A bowl of plastic fruit on her head. Her ability to exude joy permeates through the picture. She has always been able to carve out her own path. Has been able to stay true to herself. I envy that the most. Throughout the years, women have struggled to find their niche in society. Constantly fighting for the things always guaranteed to men. But my grandmother has always stood above any limitations. And a woman, living through decades and changing times, remaining authentic to herself, is nothing I envy but something I deeply admire.
