In mid-June, a friend/coach of mine mentioned that she was participating in a 20-day cacao experience. It touts, “Could drinking chocolate every day change your life? Join us in this 20-day experience to find out how Ceremonial Cacao and the spirit it carries can open your heart and allow you to have a deeper connection with yourself and your life.” Honestly, I was not looking for a cacao experience, but I was curious. I signed up without hesitation and without doing any research. This is not how I usually make decisions. Typically, I ask myself how I feel about something and go with the response, I feel a “hell yes” or a “hell no.” This time, it was not a yes or a no, I just decided to jump in.
Shandell Pino, of Innerlight Academy, facilitates the 20-day Cacao Experience. Payment covers the 20 cacao hearts you receive in the mail, the student portal with all the resources you will need, three group Zoom calls, and a WhatsApp group to share your experiences and chat with the others on the journey with you. The key piece is the support you receive from Shandell; her personal support for the 20 days. Support, you might wonder?? Support for what?
The journey opens with a Zoom call, the consumption of the first cacao drink as a group, intentions are set, and contraindications1 are discussed. Then, each morning over the stove, you prepare a cacao heart with almond milk and water. As you sit with the hot chocolate-like drink, you say the cacao prayer and read the Mayan Nawals – energy of the day – sipping your drink over the course of an hour. Yes, this takes patience and intention, but it is so worth it. Another important piece is the daily journaling. Simply write how you are feeling or what cacao may be bringing up for you. This may be new and different for you. Tracking these emotions or feelings is key on this journey. Without the journaling piece, I would not have been able to put together the transformation that happened for me with cacao.
As someone who has been on a spiritual journey for more than ten years, I have worked with coaches who have pushed me outside my comfort zone, and asked me to think of myself and my life differently. I have experimented with microdosing and opened a portal to my guides. My experiences with “shadow work” have changed who I am to my core. These experiences all come with growth/expansion and things to integrate and alchemize, if you are willing. This “work” of growing and expanding as a human should not be taken lightly. In my opinion, all of these modalities should come with a warning label: “May cause growth and expansion,” “May change you and your mind,” or “Might dig up some serious stuff you may not be ready to face about yourself!” If you have childhood trauma that you do or do not know about, you need to understand the implications of exploring yourself. You may find yourself in a very emotional or even physical state where you will need support. That can come in the form of a bestie, a husband, a life coach, a therapist, or even an energy healer. Before you open that self-help book or sign up for that experience, you really need to be aware and ready to ask for help. In the cacao experience, Shandell is the support, and she is there for you, and you need to not be afraid to lean on her.
Again, I have done lots of work, expanded my thinking, grown as a person, and come to understand the world and us humans in a different way. I know how to ask for help and lean on my friends. But honestly, I did not see cacao coming. “Heart opening” sounded lovely, but I was not ready for what I would experience.
On Day 1, while drinking my cacao, I started my morning practice of journaling and then meditation. As I sat in meditation, I felt “contempt” come through as a word and as a feeling in my body. Was this contempt for myself or for another? I was also angry. In sharing this with Shandell, she encouraged me to read the energy of the day, as this can often be exactly what you are feeling that day. I let this feeling exist in my body, and I did not like it. It brought up some uncomfortable feelings about my relationship with my husband. Later, I would learn that this contempt was something I needed to clear around myself and some childhood trauma.
Days 2-3 were uncomfortable, and I could tell that my body was getting very stressed. I wear an Oura ring that tracks lots of things, one of them being my nighttime resting heart rate and body temperature. It showed that my heart rate was up four beats per minute and my body temperature was elevated also.
Shandell suggested that we jump on a call together. She mentioned that tracking my heart rate could increase my anxiety, but I know my body, and something bad was happening. We spent an hour on the phone doing some somatic work that led to lots of tears but also lots of healing, and I felt better after our call.
By days 4, 5, and 6, I realized that cacao was interacting with my anxiety medication, causing what is called serotonin syndrome2. Before the cacao journey, I had expressed to Shandell that I was on anxiety meds, but the 0.4 ounces in the hearts, in Shandell’s experience and according to Google, “should” not be enough to cause an interaction. But there was one was for me.
On Day 8, I decided to stop taking my anxiety medication. I was aware of the serious risks, such as suicidal thoughts and heightened anxiety. I had been on anxiety medication for over ten years before successfully weaning myself off 3 years ago. The process was difficult, with my anxiety worsening and I experienced physical symptoms. It took almost a year to be completely medication-free. For nearly 3 years, I managed without the medication, but six weeks before starting cacao, I began taking it again. Despite my efforts, anxiety continued to dominate my daily life, leaving me exhausted from constantly battling it. All I wanted was to feel calm and normal again.
I had the courage to stop my meds because I realized from my journaling that on about Day 4, my anxiety was gone. My body was in stress because of the interaction, but my anxiety was gone. The feeling in my chest like someone was sitting on it was gone. That constant push in my body to always do more had subsided. I could breathe again. But my heart was still racing.
Within 24 hours of stopping the anxiety medication, my heart rate had lowered by 2 beats a minute and I had given my body relief.
Feeling better, I was able to communicate with my heart. This was the “heart opening” that Shandell had talked about. That might sound strange, but it was like a conversation we were having. The fight with anxiety was over, and my heart was happy.
On Day 11, the moment I woke up, my head was spinning. I thought maybe my blood sugar was low, so I ate something and lay back down on the couch. The spinning occurred when I moved around, so I stayed on the couch all day with the TV off.
I had previously scheduled an unrelated call with Carissa Kelly, an energy healer (who works with the metaphysical field, somatic energy healing and energetic relationship work), for that day. Despite not feeling well, she recommended that we keep the appointment. We discussed what I was feeling and how cacao had shown me where I had some relationship issues to work on. We talked about the energetics in my marriage. As always, I know that I “go first” to change the energy and the dynamics, and we talked through those patterns. On her side, she worked her energy magic to clear some energy from my marriage. She also told me that the spinning was withdrawal symptoms, and she did some work that involved pulling the rest of the anxiety meds out of my body (energetically and safely). After our call, I felt more grounded and hopeful.
By Day 13, I felt a million times better. No more withdrawal symptoms, no more anxiety, a relationship with my heart, and my husband noticed that I was approaching our conversations differently. Over the next several days, I decided that the workshops I had been holding and being a life coach were things that no longer lit me up inside. Before I had even started holding workshops and coaching, I had started a blog/website. I wanted to share the resources that have helped me grow as a human. The site contains pages of podcasts, books, and2life coaches for people to reference. It all started in January of 2022 with me writing, and it is the one thing I have done consistently. My stories are about my experiences, and I now see that writing (and speaking) are what truly light me up.
As I was relaying some of this experience to my husband, that cacao had “cured” my anxiety, I commented that the cacao I received from Shandell was about $2 a day. The anxiety meds are about 50 cents a day. He said I should order the cacao on Amazon. Amazon!!! We are not talking about Nestle’s cocoa powder which has been processed and refined down to nothing. We are talking about a plant medicine that was picked by a family in Guatemala. A family who has passed down the tradition from generation to generation and delivers a quality, high-grade product for our consumption.
Cacao turned my world upside down, yet it bestowed so many gifts upon me. It healed my anxiety, put me on a path to improve my relationship, and revealed my true passions. Anyone considering cacao should be aware of the potential challenges and the need for support during the journey. Be present, allow the experience to unfold naturally, and lean on Shandell, who is there to help. My initial “journey” is over, but more cacao is on the way, and I am eager to see its continued effects on my anxiety. Taking cacao daily might be more of an emotional ride than I desire, but I am committed to listening to her guidance and seeing where she leads me.
The next Cacao Experience launches in August and I going to sign up again!! Click here to join the waitlist:
https://innerlightacademy.mvsite.app/products/courses/view/1165083
This time I will go into the experience a little more prepared, but these things do not always take us where we want to go, they take us where we need to go!!!
