In this enlightening interview, Pam Covarrubias shares her journey of empowerment, shedding light on the inspiration behind her podcast’s focus on amplifying stories of people who resemble her, her advocacy against Calladita Culture™, and the integration of nervous system regulation in her coaching practice. Pam delves into her personal challenges breaking free from societal expectations and offers invaluable advice for individuals struggling with similar obstacles. Through her work, Pam aims to foster authenticity, vulnerability, and community collaboration while honoring cultural traditions and values. She also discusses her future aspirations for Cafe con Pam, Manis Pass, and her coaching practice, inviting listeners to engage and support her mission of empowerment and self-discovery.
What inspired you to focus on highlighting the stories of people who look like you through your podcast?
I was traveling and listening to podcasts back in 2013-15 and most interviews I was listening to didn’t highlight people that looked like me. I wondered who was asking those questions and three years later nobody was, so I did.
Could you delve into the concept of “Calladita Culture™” and its significance in your work with first-generation women and femmes?
Calladita Culture is the societal and cultural concept in Latin America that associates women in traditional gender roles.
Rooted in Marianismo, which idealizes women with virtue, purity, and self-sacrifice. In turn removing women from owning their power and voice. After working with hundreds of first/second gens, I started gathering the principles that keep us all quiet and small. I was my first client and realized these principles were also preventing me/us from thriving.
When I get asked if only Latinas get affected by Calladita Culture™, I tell them anyone raised by a Latina could be affected. Other cultures also identify with the principles because People of the Global Majority share a lot of cultural similarities.
Calladita Principles and Outspoken Principles
- Be A Secret – Brag About It
- Choose To Serve – Prioritize Your Rest
- Step Into The Role – Design Your Future
- Quiet Your Inner Voice – Connect with Future You
- Box Yourself – Release the Blocks
What challenges did you face in the process of finding your voice and standing in your truth, especially in relation to societal expectations?
Lots and still do, there’s a lot of bias built in for people that look like me. The thing is that Calladita Culture™️ is also the system that tells us we are too much. I’ve been told I’m too loud, too emotional, too anxious, too much and sometimes not enough. The challenge comes with us standing in our power and saying I’m plenty with all I bring to the table no matter who gets uncomfortable with that. Como el Sol (like the sun) we must shine our light no matter who can’t see past it.
How do you integrate principles of nervous system regulation, such as Clinical EFT (Tapping), into your coaching practice?
I discovered EFT when I realized I had ADHD, the first thing that happened to me when I practiced it was feeling this sense of calm in my body. For years I lived thinking and EFT allowed me to feel. When I coach, I offer tapping as a tool to get back in the body and feel again.
Can you share a significant moment or experience that has shaped your approach to coaching and empowerment?
I’ve learned to have much more discernment when hiring coaching professionals. Early in my business I needed support and I found a coach who charged me an extravagant amount of money knowing very well I was struggling and ultimately the results did not happen for me. In my practice, I provide spaciousness and I’m always open to finding amicable ways to work with people once I know my work can actually support them. As a coaching instructor, I make sure future coaches understand that not everyone with a heart beat is their client, just because someone landed in their inbox does not mean you have to do what it takes to close the sale, we’re not in those times anymore and instead I recommend having a list of other coaches with whom you can share referrals with. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of predatory practices out there which have tarnished the reputation of coaches and the coaching industry.
What advice do you have for individuals who are struggling to break free from Calladita Culture™ and embrace their confidence and voice?
The first step is awareness, identify which one of the principles is holding you back the most. The answer typically comes up in the places where you are the most frustrated in your life. Are you overworked and underpaid? Maybe it’s time to check on the principle that most people carry: Be a Secret. We often hear “keep your mouth shut about your goals” which in theory could work for some things, but if the goal is to get a raise, we can’t keep our mouth shut and not ask for it. So, asking yourself what is frustrating me right now? What is holding me back from making it happen? What can I do about it today? Could be some questions to get started.
In your journey as a life and business coach, what have been some of the most rewarding moments or transformations you’ve witnessed in your clients?
Bearing witness to my client’s accomplishments, as their coach I’m many times the first to know something happened. From quitting their job, to hitting a money goal it’s amazing to exist with all the emotions and support them navigate through them. Because achieving a goal is also a disregulator for our nervous system and this is why many times people could revert back to the familiar, because the new version of themselves is too far from the reality they know. I truly feel honored to be able to support them through this process of acceptance.
How do you maintain authenticity and vulnerability in your work, both as a podcaster and a coach?
I don’t think there’s any other way. My humanity is at the forefront of all my work. Calladita Culture™ prevents us from showing flaws, the principle of Step into the Role is fully rooted in perfectionism. This is why our abuelas wouldn’t get out of the house without lipstick on, because they had a role to fulfill. Frankly, I’m my first client and I’m constantly reminded of every single one of the principles I’m working so hard to disrupt, so there’s no other way to exist than the truest version of me.
What role do you see community and collaboration playing in empowering individuals to embrace their true selves?
We have a long way to go on this one. The challenge here is that our community has been robbed from many things throughout generations. Our culture, our language, our land. A common thread I see when it comes to collaboration is resistance, because we’ve worked so hard to accomplish something that subconsciously our bodies want to hold on to what we’ve created as a defense mechanism. I’m going to bring it back to awareness. I believe collaboration is the absolute key to make sure our community grows and expands, the only way through is with each other. We have to remind ourselves que El Sol Sale Para Todes (the sun shines for everyone) and there’s plenty of wealth and abundance for all of us.
How do you balance advocating for change while also honoring cultural traditions and values within your work?
I don’t know if one could exist without the other. Both are at the core of my being and the change I advocate for is fully connected to who I am in all intersections: cultural, generational, professional, etc.
What future goals or aspirations do you have for Cafe con Pam, Manis Pass, and your coaching practice?
My goal is for the Manis Pass to be the go to place for nervous system regulation and getting things done for first generations. Inside the Manis Pass we work on all the principles of Calladita Culture™ and it’s the place where many realize they can be fully themselves and exist in their whole humanity fully.
For Cafe con Pam, the goal is to be the #1 Latine podcast of choice, the place where everyone wants their story to be told and soon I’m launching the Cafe con Pam Mercadito, a sliding scale ad offer for businesses to make podcast advertising available to all.
For anyone looking to dive deep into the Calladita Culture™ principles, we can work 1:1 and fully enter inner child work with gentle techniques to support women who have been told they’re too much.
Can you share a mantra or guiding principle that resonates deeply with you and influences your work?
Always leave the place better than you found it. Also, what if you fly? (From Erin Hanson’s quote: There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?)
How do you practice self-care and maintain resilience in the face of challenges or setbacks?
I use all the tools in my toolbox, I do somatic work and practice EFT every day. I work closely with my hormonal cycle to monitor my emotions and make sure what I’m feeling is actually true or it’s a result of my inner cycle. Rest, naps, lots of going outside and unplugging. The answer is always within.
Lastly, how can individuals who resonate with your message and mission get involved or support your work?
Thank you! Definitely listen to Cafe con Pam and check out Manis Pass. I also have a couple of slots open for 1:1 work if anyone wants to dive deeper. Everything can be found at cafeconpam.com or pamcovarrubias.com
