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Mental Health

Why being alone might be good for you

It’s human tendency to feel wanted, to be loved, to be the core of someone’s desire. Our need to be constantly surrounded by people overpowers our sense of individuality.

The pressure to be liked, and to fit in begins at a very young age. As we grow, the weight grows with us, slowly taking up all the space that would’ve given us a scope to explore ourselves.

We’re so invested in other people, their interests, their opinions, and their lives, that we often overlook our own story.

How well do you really know yourself? Are you aware of the root cause of your fears? Have you healed from past traumas, or have you simply masked the wounds being too scared to ever address them? Do you reflect on how people make you feel? Do you think about how you make you feel? Do you do justice to yourself? Do you love yourself enough?

Being by yourself gives you the opportunity to answer all these questions.

Is being alone scary?

Perhaps, yes. Which is why people find themselves looking for rebounds after a break-up, or feel lost after a friendship falls apart.

There’s a void that needs to occupied, an emptiness that can be filled only by the presence of another. The hollow space renders you paralyzed. It eats away your ability to function as an individual after all this time of you linking your existence with another. The dependency becomes your biggest enemy.

What really happens when you’re alone?         

When you are alone, you come face to face with yourself. Your naked soul is exposed to your eyes. Needless to say, not all that you see will be pretty. You will have to accept certain parts as they are, swallow pills that are hard to swallow, make efforts towards constructive growth, rearrange misplaced pieces, stitch wounds, and move on from lost causes. You will finally see your soul’s longing for self love and acceptance.

Every individual needs work. Being alone gives you the opportunity to do just that. Instead of feeling hopeless, learning how to be with yourself, spending time caring for yourself, and getting to know yourself can bring such a drastic change in your life. It will affect not just you, but your energy will radiate to those around you helping you build better connections. True connections. Once you start loving, and trusting yourself, you will finally be independent, and hence, be capable of contributing better to a relationship. When you are aware of your likes and dislikes, what’s toxic for you and what’s not, you will be able to make decisions of whether the given relationship is made for you.

It is vital to be friends with yourself, first. Trust yourself enough to have honest conversations with yourself, open up. That’s how you can evolve into the best possible version of you.

What you need to remember is that no one has stuck with you as long as you’ve stuck with yourself. No one knows all of what you’ve been through every single day of your life. No one can know you better than you know you. No one can do you justice the way you can to yourself.

No one has lived your story, but you.

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by Tazeen Shaikh

Author of ‘The Fire You Don’t See’.
Writing is my sweet escape; I write anything from essays to poetry.
I’m passionate about topics related to mental health, youth power, and feminism.

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