There’s nothing left for me here anymore
Your sorry ass apologies and limitless excuses pass right through me
I will no longer cripple beneath you frozen in fear on the floor
The cuts and the bruises have drained me of whatever has kept me near
My pleas and your screams still haunt my dreams,
my nightmares are alive
or so it seems
My head has been bashed in
until I was yellow and blue
Your mind makes up false stories and it’s me who has to suffer with you
I cannot think straight and I can barely see
A shining light at the end of this tunnel has been taunting me
So I stretch, just to reach the twinkling of freedom ahead
I chase and though I may fall
I will crawl and I’ll fight through the sewage you spill
My body takes the beatings but it’s my mind that has finally broken
My conscious repeatedly shouting at me
“Repair and rebuild or be killed”
Do not drag me
do not run after me
Let me be
Let me free
You have no more room to control me
The strings of attachment have been twisted so tightly
that I have finally ripped from their grasp
You have stained my heart for the last time
My heart is afraid
But I have found my voice
Is this what you meant when you said we’d always be together no matter what?
What is this feeling?
It sure isn’t love.
I finally believe it.
Staying with you this long has been the worst choice of my life
I am not your toy,
Not your worthless rag doll to be tossed around for your pleasure
My skin has been bloodied with these
memories of the monster inside of you
A person I thought I knew
Someone, I thought I loved
And maybe I do love you
But the truth is
I now love myself more
I have to
I never saw it coming
But I’m not looking back
If you liked this poem, be sure to check out, “Only the Birds.”
