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day I decided
Poetry

The Day I Decided

The day I decided I was enough, was the day you decided to ignore me.

Any other day you would have acknowledged a sigh from across the room,

But on this day, you stayed silent.

 

The heaviness of the air sat still for too long,

Like a pregnant pause, full of anticipation and anxiety.

The words had never been spoken before,

Though we both knew the question was there.

 

Who I was; who you made me to be,

Melded and mixed with all that I was before you.

The light, the enthusiasm, the complexity;

All the attributes you tried to drown out with your carefully considered prods.

 

“Why not try this; why not wear that?”

Why not just love me, regardless of these things?

 

With each new day passing, I lost sight of who I was.

The glamour of the new, making everything else fade into the background.

Perhaps this had been me, all along.

Or perhaps this was the end of an overstayed welcome.

 

The day I decided I was enough, was the day I ruined everything.

All the work we had done to make it just so;

My actions tearing through our hearts,

Like a grenade launched on our home.

 

I walked away from the rubble,

A damaged and broken shell of who I once was.

But sometimes things need to be broken, in order to rebuild;

An idea I comforted myself with, when you finally said goodbye.

 

It took a long time for the foundation to be laid.

Endless nights of tears and questioning, for the life I had before me.

But I was lifted from my place of disparagement,

Able to see myself again;

The light shining through the cracks of who I could become.

 

The day I decided I was enough, was the day I decided to love myself, wholeheartedly.

No longer looking back at who I was,

But focusing on who I wanted to be.

 

I decided that I was deserving and worthy,

And that life was going to work out, unexpectedly in my favor.

I decided no one was worth my self-sacrifice,

And vowed to love, and be loved, accordingly.

 

The day I decided I was enough, was the day I finally chose me.

All of my yesterdays, todays, and tomorrows;

A conscious choice made with each rising sun,

And a peace of mind found, with each shining moon.

I had finally decided that I was enough,

And I had finally decided to let myself be free.

 

 

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out Take a bow

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by Amanda Nicole

I’m 32 years old, and trying to figure out who I’m meant to be in this world. I’m searching for my purpose and working on becoming my best self, one day at a time. Writing is a natural passion for me, and I’m excited to explore what it can bring to my future. Welcome to my life!

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