We women are celestial beings. We are givers of life, sweet nurturers, ferocious protectors and the walking embodiments of what loyalty is and looks like. We also possess the immense power to conquer and rule nations and/or conglomerates. However, all these empowering adjectives that describe us—adjectives we proclaim to be—all go out the window when it comes to a man we are interested in. For whatever reason, we as women instantly dim down our illustrious light, as if we’re afraid to outshine a man’s. Maybe it’s because we want to ensure he feels like a man, in hopes he’ll realize that we can be all he needs and more. Why is this, though? Why do we as women make the conscious decision to not be ourselves in order to get the man we want?
Our parents and society have taught us to be automatically submissive to a man. Back in the olden days, women were raised and groomed to be seen and not heard—to know their place and do whatever their man asked them to do. In today’s era, women use their voice and demand to be heard, yet the old world mentality comes into play when a woman is interested in a man. We can become extremely timid and try to play this exceptional “good girl” or “Stepford wives” role so we don’t scare him off. I believe this mentality shows that we women innately feel we cannot be the boss or the bold and empowered woman that we are on a daily basis if we want to have a man. We can’t show that we have too much sass or be too opinionated because that could possibly turn a man off. We can’t be too loud or too outspoken because then a man may feel as if we are challenging his manhood. It’s this type of unhealthy and negative thinking that has plagued the “independent woman” since the beginning of time and made the more “submissive woman” very judgmental towards the independent ones.
Here’s the thing, when you are dealing with a real man, he will fully love and embrace all that you are and more. Too often we as women are so willing to extinguish our own fiery flames in fear of “burning” a man to a crisp. A real man, though, will not only appreciate your fiery flames, but make them blaze even hotter than before. A real man will compliment all that you are and value all your qualities and traits. No real man will ever ask a woman to alter who she is just so that he can feel like an alpha. Now, in no way am I saying that being incredibly brash, extra and/or harsh out of fear of being hurt by a man is the way to go. What I am saying is that being who you are and loving who you are, no matter what that may look like to others, should never change in order for you to get a man. Whoever God has for you will love all that makes you you and will not feel threatened by it in the slightest.
So ladies, with the same energy you have when you are telling social media about how much of a badass woman you are, please keep that same energy when dealing with a man. Stop feeling the need to conceal who you truly are out of fear of scaring him off. Stop letting society or even your parents tell you that you have to be a certain type of woman and move a certain type of way in order to get and keep a man. Live in your truth and by your own rules, do what makes you feel good and whole, and always say what you mean and mean exactly what you say. The man that is for you will love you for you.