My Apologies

My Apologies,

I am nineteen.


I wish I could’ve told you 

not to leave. 

I wish I could’ve told you

not to waste your time.

You left my ovaries with expectations,

and I did too.

You left hoping to be something more,

but it takes two.

It always takes two.


I should have placed an 

orange construction cone

to stop you on your journey

through my fallopian tubes.

Construction ahead,

do not proceed.

I should’ve warned you

that I would let you drown –

that I must let your dreams die.


You would not like the world 

that I live in today. 

You would’ve wanted to 

dive back in me 

the minute you came, 

I promise. 

I cannot have a kid today.


I should have zoomed 

back in time

and slapped that apple

out of Eve’s hand

and slapped my bloody underwear

in her face screaming

“Look what you made me do!”


My Lord God screams

“thou shalt not murder”

in my ears,

but I do it in my sleep. 

I am a pro. 

I do it every month.

by pndombe16

Patricia Ndombe is currently an undergraduate student at North Carolina State University in Raleigh, NC pursuing a major in English and Creative Writing. However, she grew up in a small, rural town called Knightdale, NC and was shaped by a family precisely half African and half African-American. She enjoys writing poetry as a creative outlet that enables her to reflect the world around her, escape the troubles of life, or look at it through another lens. Many of her poems were inspired while struggling with periods of identity uncertainty during her first two years of college.

Patricia has been blessed with the recent opportunity to publish poems with different literature reviews and magazines including:

“man ≠ mortal” (“Synonyms for the Black Man”)
“Broughton Dr & Hillsborough St”

Her website is https://sites.google.com/view/poeticpatricia. You may find all of her published poems there and reach out to her.

She thanks you for the opportunity to share her work.


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