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Mental Health

In Search of “Someday”

“When I swim with stingrays…”

“When I land the job I’ve been dreaming about…”

“When I find a mate that others think is suitable for me…”

“…Then I’ll be happy.”

Sound familiar?

It is not uncommon in our society to want what we don’t have, to think that we know exactly what we need in our lives to sustain us, and to lust after the things that we think will bring us unbridled joy.  We spend so much of our time waiting for the next big thing, resigning ourselves to the idea that once we obtain whatever it is that we’re searching for, happiness and peace of mind and heart will follow, that we forget to appreciate the beauty of every day.

Eventually, we reach those “somedays” of our own want, and often, we discover that those things we thought would bring us so much happiness just aren’t satisfying…

I jumped into the ocean to greet the stingrays that playfully wound around my body only to become so distracted by the fact that the flippers I was wearing were likely two sizes too big that I started to flail my arms and scream that I was drowning – I wasn’t happy…

I was offered a position in what I thought was the professional role of a lifetime right out of graduate school, and on my first day, I hid alone during my lunch break and cried because I knew this job wasn’t actually the right fit for me – I wasn’t happy…

I was set up with a guy that my friend thought I would get along well with because we had several common interests, only to stop seeing him after the third date because we couldn’t agree on whose favorite baseball team had the superior pitching talent – I wasn’t happy…

After blindly seeking those “somedays” that I so desperately wanted, those things that I was sure would light my soul on fire and lead me to an internal place of eternal happiness, I started to wonder if maybe I was searching for the wrong things – the wrong “somedays.”

Maybe the beauty of life, I reasoned, is in not knowing what comes next, and finding happiness and contentment in every moment. Maybe every day is made up of a series of smaller “somedays”, but we spend so much time focused on the bigger picture and the grand scheme that we have for ourselves that we overlook the love that lives in the details around us.

Of course, my Millennial “I want it all now!” mindset was completely offended by this realization – how could it possibly be in my best interest to wait for the big things and just be happy with what I have now?!? But I knew that even though it would be hard to accept, there was truth in this light bulb moment.

Patience is not a character trait that I have in great measure. At least, it’s not a character trait that I like to practice honing too often. I would imagine that patience is something that many of you struggle with as well. But, the more time that has passed since I began trying to make a conscious commitment to finding the joy in the space between the “already” and the “not yet”, the easier it has become for me to find and appreciate small moments of joy – the “somedays” that I live each day.

I have definitely been over-confident in my pursuits (more times than I would like to publicly admit), only to be completely embarrassed when my relentless desires have interfered with my happiness.  The same is true for you if you have found yourself too busy chasing something out of stubborn pride that was clearly not meant for you.  But there is hope, friends.  The sooner we can accept that there is joy to be found all around us, the sooner we can actually start to notice these blissful details.

Today I challenge you to find joy wherever you are and in whomever you are with. Love your journey for exactly where you are on your path, because you are exactly where you are supposed to be, and here you will find moments of fulfillment that you may have not known you were searching for…

I am privileged to be part of a family of adventurous spirits who enjoy traversing the world and visiting exotic locations that give me the chance to even consider jumping into the ocean and communing with the wildlife…

I have been able to use the poor professional experiences of my past to spur my ambition in pursuit of a career that allows me to teach others, which is my truest passion…

In my dating mishaps, I have gotten to know who I am on a deeply intimate level, and have fallen head over heels in love with myself…

These are my “somedays”; I encourage you to start looking for your own.

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by RFlasz

Dr. Rebecca Flasz is a college professor, avid traveler, writer, and mental health advocate living and loving life somewhere between the mountains and the ocean. She holds a doctorate of education in stress management and mental health, and has a heart for teaching others. In addition, Rebecca is a passionate free spirit with a wild heart who enjoys a good cup of tea, spending time with family, and being outdoors listening to the sounds of wind chimes and singing birds.


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