I used to think that love was laughing, going on spontaneous dates, feeling it unconditionally, understanding and encouraging. That if I gave my all to someone without limits, without boundaries, that they would experience what real love is and perhaps, love me the same way in return.
But lately I’ve been learning that the scales of love are never equally weighed. There is always someone that is more invested, someone who has more to lose, someone who wants forever and then there is the other person who isn’t thinking of the future, they are comfortable in the now and isn’t as emotionally available to their partner. “I love you” begins to sound more causal like a salutation or a goodbye instead of an affirmation and a testament of someone’s feelings.
When did love become so watered down? When did we settle and stop pushing the limits on how amazing and great love can be? I think somewhere along the line, too many broken hearts were acquired and those who at one point had genuine love in their heart are now afraid to let anyone see it because it wasn’t appreciated.
Far too many people claim they want love or to be in love but they are still having a hard time distinguishing between love and lust. Two completely different emotions with extremely opposite impacts.Liking someone isn’t the same as loving them either and the confusion happens when we get into relationships that are one sided because one person is ready for love and the other just wants to avoid being lonely or they are entertaining several other people.
Love should be selfless, honest, vulnerable. It should be expressed in ways that makes your partner feel secure and confident in their relationship instead of uncertain and insecure. Love should call you out on your bullsh*t; it should push boundaries and encourage you to be great. It should be all the things you can’t be when you’re having a bad day.
Unfortunately, I’m not sure if anyone knows what love is anymore but I do know that it isn’t poor communication, it isn’t being ignored or not seeing someone for weeks at a time without a valid excuse. It isn’t tears because you continue to hold out thinking that they’ll change even though you’re tired of being hurt. No. That’s not love.
Love is patient, and love is kind, and love makes you feel like you are standing in the sun even on the darkest of days. And that’s the kind of love I’ll wait for.