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Mental Health

Dear Old Self (For Postpartum Black Women When Smiling Isn’t Enough)

Dear old me,

I mourned you today.

But I didn’t shed a tear.

 

Because somehow,

Deep down,

I know you’re still here.

 

I know you’re watching me

Transform

And transcend to newer heights.

 

I know you’re the one

Calming all my wrongs

And pointing out my new rights.

 

I think that’s you

Giving me that nudge

To embracing my new reflection.

 

Because the constant praise

And oversupply of compliments

Are always met with my deflection.

 

Bumps have replaced curves,

Scars and road maps

Now inhabit my once crackless melanin.

 

What once snapped back

Now sags and stretches

Such scrutiny I place on my skin.

 

My edges are unsure,

My nerves have been shot repeatedly,

And my hygiene can be somewhat questionable.

 

The temple I once housed you in

Has been rented out, poked and prodded,

Its sanctity is now unmentionable.

 

On good days I’m a mess

Others I’m the strongest of warriors

And the rest is filled with uncertainty aplenty.

 

I was once so full of myself.

Then with life,

And that thought alone is what now keeps me from feeling empty.

 

I mourned you today,

I may mourn you again,

But I will never shed a tear.

 

For if I had never let go of you,

And ignored the call for growth, 

My reason to smile wouldn’t be here.

 

If you liked this piece, be sure to check out: Body Talk

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by authormoonbey

Born and raised in Connecticut, Moon Bey is married to her high school sweetheart whom they share one child.

After meeting Moon you are sure to part with an intriguing story to go along with the memory. That’s what she does. With her ears armed and pen ready she uses her craft and love of words to leave a lasting mark while helping you feel welcome, empowered, celebrated and heard. Since childhood, she has always been equipped with a notebook and a thirst to enhance this story called life going on all around us. Whether it be personal prose or song lyrics, poetry, fiction or even opinion pieces, she creates tales that are sure to captivate you the reader.

Be sure to stay informed on all things Moon Bey to see what she may do next! Because one thing is for sure, she will "Never let the ink dry."


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