I chose to focus on the good in you. Your heart is big and warm and loving by nature. You don’t need a program to teach you to lend out your hand to others; you do that naturally. You are one of the most selfless people I have met. You just want to care for your family and loved ones and protect them and make their lives a little easier. You are intelligent, athletic and someone who most people enjoy being around. You are not very funny. But you laughed at my jokes. You always see the good in people. You see the good in every situation and you rarely complain or get stuck in self-pity. I love that about you. It was contagious. You changed my perspective in that way. You made me feel at home and at peace. Feeling your touch made me believe everything would be okay. One glance from you and I knew all was right with the world. I choose to see you for the all of the good you offer the world. I focused on your light, your purpose and all the good in your soul.
I was blind to the negatives. I never once looked at you and saw the alcoholic who struggles to stay sober. I never once looked at you and saw the dishonesty and betrayals and the wandering eye. I believed in you. I thought you would learn and grow and become this higher level of self, and I would be there with you to one day celebrate our growth together. I thought you would say, “Suzanne, I put you through so much over the years. You never deserved any of it. You are always so loyal and supportive of me. I am sorry I did not offer you the same, but I am so grateful you loved me through it and believed in me every step of the way.”
I made the mistake of staying in love with an idea, an apparition, a hope. The here and now was never so great. It was never healthy. You are a great person. A broken person. Who will one day be put back together. I wanted to be there for that person. The put-back-together-you.
Today, I am grateful for being able to see the good in people. I am grateful that I can give myself permission to be sad and hurt, but NOT use that as an excuse to be a lesser version of me. I remain true to myself. I will treat people how I want to be treated. I will smile. I will be giving. I will open my heart and be helpful. I will try to be calm and patient. I can do this and be hurt at the same time. This is a lesson you have given me. Many times. I am stronger today than I was yesterday.
Thank you, Ex Boyfriend.
Author: Suzanne Hayes
Author Bio: 30-something single mother of 3, on a spiritual journey to serenity, blessed with a love of words, strong faith, and much gratitude and laughter. Carpe diem because tempus fugit.
Link to social media or website: http://wordpreess.com/sobermom