In this article, I’ll be sharing a few words of wisdom that I wish I knew earlier. It took me a while to enhance the way I think and see life from a different angle. This article is dedicated to anyone struggling in life. I hope you find the encouragement, resource and support you need.

We often heard of the phrase, ‘Rejection is protection’. But what does it actually mean? Well, this catchy phrase refers to the concept that you are being safeguarded from something through a rejection.

For example, if you were rejected by the University you applied for, or if you were declined a job offer by the company you really wanted to work at, or if the crush you had said no to having dinner with you, that’s where rejection is taking place. Honestly, these rejection will hurt you. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t be human at all. We as humans are built with emotions and we will definitely feel sadness and grief when we are declined of something (especially if it really meant so much to you). While sitting with your emotions, it’s important to recognise that perhaps you are being protected by something from occuring if you went to that University, if you received the job offer, if you had gone for that dinner with your crush. Whoever you believe in (higher power, the universe, or any faith you have), was protecting you from something. Your belief system could have been creating bigger and much different plans for you. In other cases, perhaps your purpose during that moment, was different (even without you knowing).

This phrase truly means the most to me personally, because I was rejected multiple times from different job applications. I tried editing my resume again and again. Sending out emails to companies. Rejection after rejection. It made me feel useless. I felt like a failure. My self-esteem began to decrease. So much of negativity surrounded me. Few months later, I realised that, I had to take on a role as a caregiver for my loved one who was diagnosed with Cancer. You see, in that motion of continuous rejection, I was looking at a smaller picture. I obviously felt low about myself (which is normal). But, the higher power, the universe, the faith I believed in was preparing me for a different task. If I had the job, I wouldn’t be able to take leave often, I wouldn’t be able to leave the job immediately (due to contract), I wouldn’t be able to care for my loved one during their health crisis. Caring for them requires me to be available 24/7 and weekends, in the event something occurs and they require medical attention. Having a job, wouldn’t allow me to do that. This is where I understood the concept of ‘Rejection is protection’ and it’s significance.

Another concept I have learnt and will be sharing about is in reference to an image I stumbled upon online.

This image was about 2 men climbing a ladder to reach the top, where there was a ‘pot of gold’. One of the man, had already reached the top. While the other man, was just a step or two, from reaching the top of the ladder. He seemed tired and gave up. He made his way back to start of the ladder.

This image, impacted me so much because often times we are so near our goals, but we can sometimes feel tired and just give up. The man was just two steps away from reaching the ‘pot of gold’ (which I supposed, refers to his dreams). If only he had a little more determination and perseverance, he would have achieved his dreams. If he put in more effort, he would have received the ‘pot of gold’.

Personally, this image really stood out to me because I have been in such situations. Let me tell you a story. My story. I discovered my passion for writing and poetry in 2019. Writing became a huge part of how I coped with life. It still is. I started to spread my works and words online on Instagram. At first, it was challenging, I started with 0 followers and 0 likes. I thought about giving up multiple times. There were a few days where I would contemplate if people even liked my works, am I good enough?, etc. Some days, I didn’t even write. I gave up at times. I was two steps away from my ‘pot of gold’. Something in me, just told me to continue on with my work. I guess, it’s the ‘student in me’ that didn’t feel like giving up fully. As I continued writing, few weeks later, another writer wrote a message to me, saying she would like to interview me. She liked my work and felt that I am able to share my words and wisdom in a magazine. I was honestly surprised and shocked at first. A couple months later, the magazine was released online. Seeing that, made me realise that, if only I had given up on myself, on my work, on my page, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be a part of the magazine. I wouldn’t have received the many opportunities I had after the magazine. It was then, that I realised that, determination and perseverance is extremely important. If I had given up, I would have gone back to 0. I wouldn’t have known that I was two steps close to my ‘pot of gold’.

From this two pieces of concepts, I would like to emphasis on the importance of working hard on your dreams and goals. If you are passionate about something, if it means the whole world to you, put your heart and soul into it. Yes, you may get rejected at times, and maybe it’s a protection for yourself, or maybe it’s a sign to try a different route and path to your goals, or maybe your purpose at that point of time is something else (which is unnoticed). It can be any reason at all, but only you will know it with time. In other cases, you may also get upset and think of giving up. When you have such thoughts, always remember that you might be so close to your dreams and goals (without you knowing). Keep trying and never stop seeking what your heart and soul desires.

Chasing your dreams and goals might be hard and so challenging. It might feel like a battle. The constant rejection, the thoughts of giving up can haunt you. Despite all the challenges, I hope you know that you are stronger than what you think you are. You have the potential and capacity in you to flourish and achieve your dreams. You will live your dream, eventually!

Dating in your 20s can be a tough game.

You’re trying to find yourself, go to school. figure out what career you want while also trying to figure out who you want to be with.

It is extremely pressing trying to “figure out your life” and still be able to find romance and companionship.

This often results in getting into situationships that don’t serve us, moving too fast, and settling for relationships because that’s what everyone around us is doing.

It’s so important to remember that just because this is what you see happening around you – do not panic and settle into something that can affect every aspect of your life.

Leaving the question of how does one navigate dating in your 20s?

Here are some ways to do so:

1) Slow Down:

It’s important to take a step back and not rush into anything. Finding the right person to date isn’t a race, but rather a marathon that takes patience and insight. Slow down and spend time getting to know the other person and yourself before deciding whether this is a good fit or not. Don’t settle for mediocrity.

2) Don’t Ignore the Red Flags

When it comes to dating everyone is trying to put their best foot forward. However, if you’re noticing certain things that are making you feel uneasy, don’t ignore them. Don’t downplay your gut feelings and be honest with yourself about what is working and what isn’t.

3) You’re Too old to be Playing Games

Your 20s are a beautiful time to be stuck in situationships, game playing, and back-and-forth banter. There are so many other things you can put your energy into during this time that have someone else suck your time and energy away.

4) Set up Boundaries Early On

While dating in your 20s, it is important to establish boundaries early on that you feel comfortable with. This could be anything from not wanting to talk about exes, having an open dialogue about sex and consent, or even discussing when you both want to be exclusive.

It is important to have these conversations early on so that no one gets hurt down the line.

5) Don’t be Afraid to Ask Questions

Ask the other person questions in order to get a better understanding of who they are and how they function. Don’t be afraid to ask deep, thought-provoking questions and get to the root of who they are as a person.

It’s important to know the goals, hopes, and dreams the person you’re dating is looking for and an important factor to consider if it aligns with the things that you want and see yourself doing.

6) Don’t be afraid to date around

Dating in your 20s is a great time to explore and get to know different types of people. Don’t be afraid to go on multiple dates or even date multiple people at the same time. It’s important to remember that all relationships are different, and it’s ok if one relationship doesn’t work out – you can always explore other options.

7) Put Yourself Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Be willing to try new things in order to get to know yourself and the other person better. Don’t be afraid of taking risks or putting yourself outside of your comfort zone when it comes to dating – you never know where it will lead.

Go to that concert, that art exhibit, or take that cooking class together. It’s important to go out and have fun when you’re dating someone – because it allows you to explore their interests as well as get to know another side of them you wouldn’t have discovered otherwise.

8) Find What Works For You

Just because it’s the norm to date in a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to follow suit – find what works for YOU personally and don’t be afraid to break the mold. You don’t need someone else’s validation or approval when it comes to your dating life – it’s all about what you feel is right for you.

If that means dating multiple people to figure out what you like and don’t like in a person or dating someone you met on a dating app, go for it.

Stick to your own personal convictions and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about the decisions that you make.

9) Learn How to be Alone

It is tough trying to be in a healthy relationship if you don’t learn how to be alone.

Take this opportunity to get in touch with yourself and learn to understand who you are as a person. Don’t feel rushed or pressured to jump into dating because of societal norms, but also don’t be afraid to explore your options.

Learning how to be alone is an important part of the journey toward finding a healthy relationship that works for you.

10) No One is that Busy

This is an important one – if someone says they’re too busy to see you, it’s most likely not true. Busyness is often used as a way to avoid commitment or intimacy. If they truly like you and want to pursue something with you, they will make time for what matters.

11) Don’t Settle

We all know that the dating scene can be tough and sometimes it’s tempting to settle for someone because you feel like they’re the best option. But don’t ever let yourself believe that settling is an option – you deserve someone who makes you happy, loves you, and respects you. Don’t compromise on your standards and values just to be with someone.

12) Realize That You Have Plenty of Time

Dating in your 20s is not a race – you don’t have to rush into any relationship or marriage. Take your time and make sure that the person you choose is right for you. The best thing about being in your 20s is that you are still young and have plenty of time ahead of you – so enjoy it and make the most of it.

13) Cultivate Meaningful Friendships

It’s important to have meaningful relationships with people of all genders, not just the opposite sex. Having strong friendships can help you learn about yourself and understand how to navigate the dating world.

Strong friendships are also a great way to connect with potential partners and get to know them in a different context before pursuing something more serious.

14) Choose Yourself

Your 20s are a beautiful time to explore and find yourself. Don’t think that you need someone to fulfill your life – it’s important to remember that the most important relationship is with yourself and if you can master that then everything else will fall into place.

Here are some ways you can do when you’re choosing yourself:

– Connect with yourself on a deeper level

– Look for ways to grow and challenge yourself

– Invest in activities that bring you joy

– Take care of your mental, physical and emotional health.

– Take risks

– Learn how to feel comfortable with the uncomfortable

Bottom Line

Dating in your 20s should be a beautiful time in your life, full of growth and exploration.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and remember that there is no right or wrong way to date.

It’s important to have fun, be confident in yourself and your decisions, and most importantly enjoy the journey.

Good luck!

Your friend,

Genesis

I cannot speak for myself

I cannot tell my father that I appreciate him,

That I know he gets up every single day and sacrifices his time,

He sacrifices his life so that I can have one…

 

I cannot speak for myself

I cannot tell my father that he is the true definition of a man.

The embodiment of unconditional love

 

I cannot speak for myself

I can only look at my father with admiration

Can only reach my arms out for comfort

Can only walk alongside him with assurance

 

I cannot speak for myself

 

But…

I want my father to know that I love him

On Mondays

On Tuesdays

On Wednesdays

On his saddest days

On his best days

When he feels empty…

 

In this lifetime, there will never be a day that my heart will beat,

Without the rhythm of my father’s

And I hope that rhythm surpasses all words

 

 

Written for You

 

“…and here I thought he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with.”

I painted my whole life with this person— he was the only thought that conjured my mind. I was so much into him that everything else around me was out of focus. That’s when I learned that he had cheated on me— it felt like someone had shot me down with a ton of hard ice. 

It was hard to believe and digest that someone whom I admired and worshiped so much would hurt me so badly. I trusted my ex-boyfriend blindly, and he took the first opportunity to shatter my heart in ways that were hard to repair and heal. 

I know it is tough to move on from that phase; for some people, it is next to impossible. But trust me, you will heal; you will be able to love and trust again! I did, too. Being cheated by someone wounds our souls and leaves us with nothing but ruins, but it also lets us move to a better place. 

It’s hard to believe it right now, but trust me, you can do this! 

If you have been cheated on, I’m sorry! I know it hurts like hell! Stay strong, okay? I know how it feels when someone stabs straight into your heart and leaves without an apology— when you are left with a bare minimum potential to breathe and stay alive. 

I know there is a tornado of questions, blame, and the cry of hell going on inside your head. 

• You start to doubt the foundation of love, trust, and its possibility to exist. 
• You doubt yourself, and you suspect your self-esteem. 
• You drown deeper into low self-esteem and self-worth.

You blame yourself, your ex-partner person, and God for hurting you so badly! 

My papa once said, “sometimes we become so blinded by our overpowering emotions that we can’t see the good behind these actions. God sees it all. What may seem like a misfortune is actually a blessing in disguise.” The universe removed the person who didn’t deserve you!. 

This breakup phase will break you and make you. How does being cheated on change you? Well, here’s a piece of your feelings. Sometimes, it’s good to feel the feels to finally move on!

Long-term psychological effects of infidelity 

In all its honesty, life after being cheated on changes you for the bad and for good. There’s not one single emotion connected to infidelity, cheating, and relationships— there are numerous emotions attached when you are in a relationship. 

In a relationship, there’s love, attachment, happiness, security, self-esteem, mental support, encouragement, and empowerment— we seek a lot from our relationships. After infidelity, you are ripped off these happy emotions and are left with the traumas from being cheated on. 

With infidelity, there’s abandonment, doubt, betrayal, accusations, blame, and lower self-esteem. 

So, all these emotions will inflict long-term effects of being cheated on—

• It can be anger towards your ex-partner who cheated on you or the person with whom your partner cheated. 

• It can lower your self-esteem because they make you feel like you are ‘not good enough’ by replacing you with someone else. 

• It breaks your trust and betrays your feelings. So you doubt the existence of love and the importance of relationships which may disturb your future relationships. 

Every person can have different feelings after being cheated on by someone— they are all valid. Your emotions are valid because you are hurt. 

Initially, you’d be inconsolable. Gradually, things would change. 

Here’s how being cheated on changes you— for the bad and for good. Don’t hold yourself back and allow your feelings to surface; only then can you heal them. 

1. You develop trust issues.

When I talked to some of my friends and asked about their new relationships after that unfortunate infidelity case, they all feared the same thing— trusting someone new. 

It’s difficult for you to form new relationships— you doubt everyone who comes close to you, and you live in constant fear of being cheated on, betrayed, or hurt. So, you either stray clear from long-term relationships or only participate in casual flings. 

If you do get into a relationship, you constantly doubt your partner for cheating and may become paranoid. You’d continuously ask them for their whereabouts or may even check their phones repeatedly. 

Your partner’s colleagues may seem like a threat to you, and you may ask them to lose their friendship for the same. Jealousy and envy are common for people who dealt with infidelity in their previous relationships. My best friend was always secure in her previous relationships. However, once she was cheated on, she became paranoid in her new relationships.  

You will have a more cynical view of relationships. After being defrauded by the person you blindly trust, nothing makes sense to you.

You’ll be more cautious about who you trust and won’t be as likely to take risks in relationships.

You’ll also be less likely to get into a relationship so quickly.

2. You don’t trust your own instincts.

You thought the last person you dated was the right choice until they cheated on you. So, it becomes hard for you to believe in your instincts and choices anymore. You doubt every decision of yours and may find it hard to trust your own abilities, capabilities, and worth. 

3. You start questioning your worth.

You felt so confident, loved, happy, and proud when you were in that relationship— you thought you found love and your whole life. However, when they replace you with someone else, you start to doubt your worth. When our partner betrays us, we start undervaluing ourselves. 

• “I’m not good enough; that’s why they replaced me. 
• “I’m unlovable, and that’s probably why they left me.”
• “I think they got into this relationship out of pity for me.”
• “They didn’t have any other option but to cheat on me. I’m not worth their time.

When the thought of low self-worth conjures your mind, it’s not just the thought of being a lousy lover but being bad in almost everything. Your self-worth plummets to zero, and you don’t find yourself worthy of anything, let alone a relationship. 

• You start to doubt your talent and your existence. 
• You consider yourself to be ugly or heinous. 
• You don’t participate in things that excite you or challenge you.
• You give up before trying because you consider yourself a loser without even trying. 
• You hide away from people and lack confidence in approaching new people.
• You base your self-worth on others.

So much damage over someone who didn’t deserve you or your love, right? It’s unfair. 

This is one of the most damaging things many of my friends have done and later regretted. You should understand that the person who cheated on you is the one who wasn’t worthy; it’s not you! 

“It’s not you; it’s them.”

4. You worry all the time, and your anxiety levels shoot up.

Worrying is a natural reaction to being hurt, but it’s hard to stop worrying once you start. It becomes a nervous habit that makes it difficult for you to live normally. It can be even more complicated when you get into a new relationship and constantly worry about your partner and if they are cheating on you. 

Your mind constantly races with thoughts of “what if” scenarios. Now that you’re more aware of the dangers, you’ll be less likely to take risks in relationships. 

Does your worry stress you so much that you find it difficult to breathe or process everyday situations? If your body’s showing symptoms of physical distress or anxiety— seek a doctor and a therapist asap. 

It’s alright to grieve; however, if that infidelity harms you physically and scars you mentally, please seek professional help. 

5. You constantly are on the lookout for betrayal.

You not only doubt your partner(s), but you are also wary of everyone around you. You look at everyone with a lens of suspicion. It can be your friends, a stranger, or even your parents. 

It’s difficult for you to enjoy anything casually because you’re constantly thinking about others’ actions and the reason behind them. 

• “They invited me over; what do they want from me?”
• “They say they like me, but it’s possible they have other motives.”
• “They want to use me for sex; they don’t like me.”
• “They all don’t care about me; everyone simply pretends.”
• You may even question the intentions of people who seem too good for you— “why would they want to date someone like you?” (It happened to me a lot).

When you’re cheated on, you will constantly be on the lookout for betrayal. This can make it difficult for you to maintain other relationships or build trust— others might not always try to prove themselves worthy of your friendship. 

If they find you overly toxic, they might say it to you directly, which may result in losing precious people in your life. 

Not everyone will be like your ex-partner, and not everyone will hurt or betray you. We just have to trust at the cost of keeping ourselves open to getting hurt. There’s no way around it. 

You might have lost one or two friends already post-breakup, which might be killing you inside out. Don’t let a stupid relationship destroy your friendships! Make amends and clear out things.

6. You build a habit of comparing yourself to others.

Yes, unfortunately, we all make this mistake! I remember how my friend broke down in tears when she was cheated on. She was shivering and blaming herself.

She told me her partner cheated on her for a girl he met at the gym.

Although my friend was very beautiful, she still continued to compare herself with the new girl. She said, 

“It has to happen. Maybe I could have saved my relationship if I had that curvy figure. That girl is a great dancer and has a very appealing figure. I’m nothing compared to her; I’m awful.”

It’s sad! We are unique and beautiful in our own ways. The reason your partner cheated on you has nothing to do with how you look and everything to do with their own character. 

7. You feel empty and hollow. 

They were your world, weren’t they? You shared every bit of your existence with them, and now you are left alone with half of you gone with them. 

You spent and sewed a life with them— a world full of dreams, togetherness, and shared happiness. They left you there alone, so it’s inevitable for you to feel empty and hollow. All the years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds you spent with them now simply remain painful memories. 

• So, you chose to not go out or meet others. 
• You stay silent, remembering all the years spent talking to them.
• You stop hanging out or going out because nothing makes sense anymore. 

After the dead end of my relationship, my partner not only cheated on me but also let me experience ghosting. She took a part of me, and I have been trying to find it for the last two years. She took away my dreams, my happiness… literally everything. 

I feel like there’s a part of me missing, but I don’t know what that is exactly? That’s what infidelity does— it leaves you confused, heartbroken, and miserable with no will to dream for happiness; everything seems far-fetched. 

You no longer participate in being happy or enjoying yourself with your friends. You find it difficult to sense or feel emotions. You feel entirely off with almost everything! Right? Agh! I know. It’s alright, I understand. Infidelity scars you, but it will also be the reason why you would become someone happier and stronger. 

“This shall pass, too.”

8. You may face severe mental health issues.

Breathing and not giving up on life becomes difficult when you have a giant boulder in your chest, crushing you down. 

Living your life’s lowest moments while carrying a smile on your face for your family/friends may make everything harder and insufferable. 

The initial pain may seem impossible to get rid of, and that might lead to depression and anxiety. Anxiety and depression after being cheated on are prevalent and dangerous. So, take better care of yourself and invest time in finding the beauty of existing and living. If life seems like a painful mess, please seek professional help. It will help you navigate your emotions.

• Constantly open up about your feelings with your friends or close friends. 
• Don’t quit life or yourself, and continue to do things for yourself. 
• If you think your pain is unbearable, consult a professional. They would be sure to help you out. 

9. You develop a habit of overthinking. 

We all want to defend ourselves from the hurt this world has to offer. So, we may develop a negative defense mechanism to protect ourselves— overthinking. 

Overthinking every situation, decision, and dialogue to the point where everything loses meaning is a dangerous ride. 

Our mind would often overthink every outcome of a decision to ensure nothing terrible comes our way. However, life doesn’t work that way, does it? You’d still get hurt; it’s inevitable. We just eventually learn to embrace every part of our life. 

Don’t be the person who’d choose to make a mountain out of a molehill. Instead, be ready for a challenge. 

10. You become vengeful

You want to hurt the person who hurt you just as severely, inflict that pain, and make them suffer— so you may walk on the path that you hate the most: infidelity. 

To take revenge, you may also cheat on your partner to reflect the audacity. However, this isn’t you; it’s not your personality to hurt the other person. It might impact you negatively. 

So, resist the urge to do wrong. Instead, focus your energy on improving yourself for a better life.

11. You become bitter

We are in so much pain that we want to get it all out! This pain usually comes down in the form of anger. Since you cannot lash out at your ex-partner because they are gone, you inflict that pain on others— your friends, kids, parents, or the people around you. 

You become easily agitated and frustrated with the people around you. You may scream at others over small mistakes or completely break friendships because of your anger.

Lashing your anger at someone else is never the answer; it will make you lose precious people and their support. So, try to prevent this negative lash-out. 

12. You solely focus on the bad.

It’s pretty standard for a person to fixate on negative emotions when they are sad. We are constantly ridden with anger, envy, jealousy, guilt, or embarrassment. Let it be a phase, not your whole personality. You are not that kind of person. 

However, make sure it doesn’t become a part of you. The negativity in your life (your ex-partner) is gone; it shouldn’t make you bitter. Not every aspect of your life is negative. You must acknowledge the positive aspects of your life; it can be your job, passion, friends, family, kids, etc. 

How getting cheated on changes you Positively.

People often ask me— how to stop overthinking after being cheated on? Refocus your thoughts on the positive aspect of your situation. 

There’s positivity in every aspect of your life, whether a downfall or not. While these life lessons often seem unfair, you’d later realize why they were necessary. 

Trust me, there will come a time when you will thank this breakup a hundred times. I have been there. I have cried, questioned, doubted, and blamed everyone. Now that I have grown out of that emotion, I see its importance and how beautifully it changed me! 

Sometimes, a certain amount of storm is necessary to see the sky in its full glory and, of course, the rainbow. 

Sounds Cliche, right? Such is life! 

Heard the phrase— “Every cloud has a silver lining.” So let’s focus on the blessings God gave to us.

1. You will get the time to work on yourself.

How to stop reliving infidelity? Take time for things that make you happy. 

In a relationship, we skip or quit many of our hobbies/passions to take time out for our partner. Now that you have time at hand, it’s a good idea to use it for yourself. 

So tell me, what did you like doing the most but didn’t find the time to do because you were occupied by the relationship? 

Well, don’t feel regretful, and get yourself up and start doing it. You are your best investment.

Pen down the things you sacrificed or missed about yourself or the things you would love to finally try. It can be anything— trying a new dance class, or wanting to go on a solo trip, etc. . Let’s do it. Use this time to reinvent! 

2. You are now familiar with some DOs and DON’Ts.

Struggling with the aftermath of being cheated on is dreadful. However, that doesn’t mean you should waste all the lemons life gave you. 

No, darling! Make lemonade out of those and relish the moment you have now. As we move on from the relationship, we get a moment of clarity for the dos and don’ts. 

You can use this relationship to understand the algorithm of your figure relationships— how you can be a better partner and maintain boundaries simultaneously. 

Pre-decide the boundaries that you want to keep for your next relationship. 

3. There isn’t a thing called “the one” ( this is a good thing)

How to trust again after being cheated on? Well, you have to agree not everyone’s the same, and that’s why the world’s beautiful. 

It’s not impossible to trust again, but it does take time and effort. The way I see it, trust is something that can’t be built overnight. You have to work on it, and you will eventually get there.

It also takes time for your brain to process what has happened—and this may seem like an obvious statement, but: Your brain isn’t a mind reader! 

Well, I say, seven billion people in the world and 7 billion chances at love. You have yet to explore the world to settle down for a person who wasn’t worth the effort. Well, you get 7 billion chances to try again. 

We have been brainwashed by all those Disney movies that there’s only ‘one’ made for you. Well, that one is you, of course. However, in the case of a lover? Nuh-uh, there’s a reason why we have so many people on earth. So, you don’t slump over a single nutjob. Don’t believe in that shit! I’m glad of all ‘the ones’ who left my life for good. They emptied the space for someone better. 

4. You introduce yourself to self-love. 

How to be happy after being cheated? You need to make space for yourself! That person was the reason for your happiness, but they weren’t the only reason for your happiness. Be the reason for your joy!

I always say, “one breakup or a case of infidelity is important to get introduced to self-love, self-worth, and self-value.”

Initially, we become hardened by being so hurt. So, we start to care for ourselves out of fear of being hurt. Gradually, we understand that loving ourselves should be our priority before we expect love from others. My sister finally broke up; now she shines and is growing into a beautiful, independent, intelligent human being. 

In real life, it’s you who can complete yourself. Instead, we wait and expect(exceptionally) that someday someone will come and complete us.

No, use this breakup to become the best version of you who is healthy, loving, kind, and happy. 

5. Life is too short to weep on pointless things.

Yes, they were an essential part of life. However, they chose to ruin it. We do feel like our life is over after being cheated on, but ask yourself— is it truly over? I mean, your life isn’t just about your ex-partner. Your life is about you, and you shouldn’t just be about your ex-partner— you should be so much more! 

Worrying about pointless things and people who intend to hurt you isn’t worth a penny. They just waste your time, and you don’t want to waste your time over nut cases like them.

6. Friends and family are a blessing.

“They are for life, man!” 

They would hold, heal, comfort, make fun of you at times, and make life all the more meaningful. Once you finally overcome the breakup, you’d understand how much of a blessing they are to your life. 

They were there to support you and trash-talk the stupid person who hurt you. They were there to make you happy. 

They were there in every up and down of your life. We understand their value when our vision clears out. I still remember how my friends supported me when I called him after being cheated on. He called me over, and we sat and drank; he listened to me all night long and comforted me. 

That’s enough! They are enough! 

7. It’s okay to feel sad and never to ignore the RED-FLAGS.

We often hide our pain and let them bottle up to create unresolved feelings in our hearts. Those unresolved emotions continue to pile up until they cannot anymore, and you let it all out together. 

There are lots of things that bother us, but we end up ignoring them or simply wearing the mask of “yeah! I’m good.”

While they stay hidden for a while, they will come around to bite you. So, when you feel sad, sorrowful, or in pain, let that smoothly flow away. Once it’s all out, you don’t have to carry the burden of it all your life. 

Luckily, we cannot hide the pain of breakups or infidelity, even if we try. So, we let it all out. Once we let it all out, we understand why it’s necessary to just “feel the feels.” 

Additionally, being cheated on teaches you that you should never overlook those red flags while wearing rose-colored glasses in your relationship.

Learning the issues and discussing them will help stop massive conflicts.

How to move on after being cheated on?

While there’s no way to completely forget the person or the broken relationship, there are things you can do to help yourself move forward. Here are some tips:

1. Open up with your close ones and trust your friends/family 

Talk about your issues with someone close to you, such as a friend or family member. The support of others can provide comfort during this difficult time. 

You may also find that sharing your story with your squads or family helps you overcome anxiety and guilt.

2. Ask for help from a professional.

Consider getting professional counseling if needed. A licensed therapist can help you deal with your emotions and develop new coping skills for future relationships.

3. Accept that things are going to suck for some time.

Hard times are a part of your life, but they are not everything. They come, and they go! That’s part of life. 

Infidelity and breakups suck, and they will indeed suck for some time. 

Instead of pushing and fighting with it, Learn to accept this feeling, and you will notice it will gradually leave you.

4. Find a new hobby or activity that gives you pleasure.

Find a hobby or activity that you left far behind for your relationship. Relive yourself and enjoy being YOU.

5. Don’t blame yourself.

How to get over insecurities after being cheated on? Stop taking the blame! You are a wonderful person full of love, warmth, and kindness; never forget this!  

It’s not your fault. They chose to cheat while you gave them all the love they didn’t deserve. Don’t be hard on yourself over others’ mistakes. 

Conclusion 

“How does being cheated on affect you?” I was asked this many times when I got cheated on. Well, honestly, it is a feeling which is hard to swallow.

I was never the same after being cheated on but for all the good things. Changes are good! I have found peace with the fact!  

But, I believe “heartbroken after being cheated on” later looked like a blessing because you come back stronger, happier, healthier, and more mature. 

It is not easy to cope with this feeling, but it is not impossible. Remember, you are stronger than whatever hurdle life throws at you.

In the end, it comes down to your perception of yourself. It’s up to you to take it like a blessing— and watch the universe bring it to life. Trust yourself and trust the universe!

Do you ever find yourself wondering how to tell a guy not to waste your time?

You’re swiping endlessly on dating apps, struggling to make connections, constantly trying out new avenues for meeting potential partners – and it’s all such an emotional rollercoaster. It’s easy to get frustrated by the whole process, especially when someone is leading you on but never actually making any concrete plans.

Investing yourself in these false hopes can be exhausting, so if you want know how to handle situations like this and choose yourself instead..

Here are our top tips on how to tell a guy not to waste your time — without damaging your pride or feelings.

Why is it important to be able to tell someone not to waste your time?

It is important to be able to tell a guy not to waste your time because if someone is wasting your time, you are not able to do the things that you need and want to do.

For example, if you are a student and you are trying to study for a test, but someone is constantly distracting you, then you are not going to be able to do well on the test. This is also true for people who work or have other responsibilities.

If they are constantly being interrupted by someone who is wasting their time, then they are not going to be able to get their work done.

You deserve someone who isn’t wasting your time or distracting you from the things you want to do, from your goals, dreams & desires.

What are some tips for doing so in a way that is respectful?

Being respectful and being firm on your boundaries are two different things. You can be respectful while still setting those boundaries and making sure that the other person knows that you are not going to tolerate their behavior.

Some tips for doing this in a respectful way include:

• Being direct
• Expressing your expectations clearly and concisely
• Emphasizing how important it is for you to have your needs respected
• Sticking up for yourself when necessary.

What happens if you don’t communicated your boundaries?

If you don’t communicate your boundaries, you may find that guys will walk all over you. They may take advantage of your kindness or assume that because you’re quiet, you won’t say anything.

This can lead to a lot of resentment and anger on your part, which will only make communication more difficult. It’s important to be clear about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, so that people know where they stand with you.

If they cross a boundary, you can then address it in a clear and assertive way. Communication is key in any relationship, but especially in those where boundaries are an issue.

How can you avoid wasting your own time in the future?

It can be easy to waste your time in a relationship that’s not serving you. Here are a few tips to help you avoid wasting your time in the future:

1. Set clear boundaries in advance.

It is important to set clear boundaries in advance in any relationship, so that both parties are on the same page and know where they stand. Establishing boundaries and expectations sets a solid foundation for the relationship, allowing both people to feel comfortable and secure. This can help avoid confusion or misunderstandings later on.

2. Pay attention to red flags early on

If you notice any red flags in the early stages of a relationship, pay attention to them. This can help you avoid getting too invested in a situation that’s ultimately not going anywhere or is not worth your time.

3. Don’t be afraid to walk away if things aren’t working out.

If a relationship isn’t working out, it’s okay to walk away. Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself and focus on the things that matter most to you. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship just because you feel obligated or guilty. Sometimes walking away is the best decision for both parties involved.

Taking care of your own needs and desires is important, and sometimes that means ending relationships when they are no longer serving you.

4. Communicate openly and honestly

When establishing boundaries, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with the other person. Showing respect for each other’s opinions and feelings can help create a positive environment in which both people feel heard and understood. This can help foster trust between you and make sure that everyone is on the same page about expectations.

By communicating openly and honestly, you can avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the line. It’s also important to be able to have honest conversations about difficult topics, so that everyone knows where they stand in the relationship.

5. Don’t assume anything – ask questions if you need clarification

It’s important to ask questions if you need clarification on something. Don’t make assumptions about what the other person wants or expects, as this can lead to conflict and confusion. Asking open-ended questions that allow for honest dialogue can help create understanding between both parties.

6. Don’t give more than your time and energy than is fair to the other person

Remember that you have limits, and it’s not fair to give more time or energy than is reasonable. Respect your own needs and don’t let anyone take advantage of you. This ensures that both parties are getting the attention they need from the relationship.

7. Respect yourself first and foremost

Finally, it’s important to remember that you come first. Respect yourself and don’t let anyone take advantage of your time or energy. Self-respect is key in fostering healthy relationships with others.

• Say “no” when necessary, even if it’s uncomfortable
• Listen to your gut feeling above all else
• Take some time for yourself before investing in another relationship
• Know what you want out of a relationship before getting into one
• Know your worth and don’t settle for less.

What are some other ways to deal with people who are leading you on?

There are a few other ways to deal with people who are leading you on and is where learning how to tell a guy not to waste your time comes into play. One option is to confront them and ask them what is going on.

This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it can be helpful to get clarity and closure. If the person is not interested in you, it might be better to move on and find someone who is. It can be tough to get over someone who was not really interested in you in the first place, but it is possible.

You can focus on taking care of yourself and spending time with people who make you feel good.

Date yourself for a while and get to know yourself better. This can help you feel more confident and secure in yourself so that you don’t settle for less than what is deserved. It can also be helpful to join social activities or groups so that you can meet new people who are interested in the same things as you.

It is also important to remember that not everyone is right for you and that is okay. There are plenty of people out there who will be interested in getting to know you.

Above anything else, you deserve respect and love. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and be aware of your worth.

Gaslighting can be hard to detect, but it is important to be aware of the subtle signs of gaslighting to protect yourself. 

If you suspect that you’re being gaslighted by your partner or anyone at all, it’s essential to recognize the manipulative signs and save yourself from becoming an emotionally abused victim. 

In this very important article, we’ll define gaslighting, list some subtle warning signs of gaslighting along with gaslighting examples, and explain how to deal with gaslighting relationships! 

Definition of gaslighting    

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that can be difficult to recognize, especially when it is done subtly.  

The term “gaslighting” comes from a 1938 play and 1944 film called “Gas Light,” in which a man manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her mind by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying that it ever happened. 

Today, the term “gaslighting someone” is used to describe a wide range of manipulative behaviors that can leave victims feeling confused, paranoid, and even questioning their own sanity.

Subtle signs of gaslighting can include a partner or friend denying the reality of certain events, even when there is clear evidence to the contrary. 

• They may frequently contradict what you say or remember, making you question your own perception of reality. 
• They may use your own words or actions against you, twisting them to suit their own purposes. 
• They may make you feel like you are overreacting or being paranoid when you express your concerns or feelings. 
• They may try to isolate you from your friends and family, making you dependent on them for validation and support.

If you’re wondering “am I being gaslighted?” or “how do I know if I’m being gaslighted?” here are some signs that you may be experiencing gaslighting: 

• You constantly second-guess yourself.
• You feel like you’re “going crazy.”
• You’re always apologizing to your partner or friend. 
• You feel isolated. 
• You’re always questioning yourself. 

Gaslighting is an extremely serious form of emotional abuse, and it’s important to know how to recognize it. By being aware of the subtle signs of gaslighting and understanding the gaslighting meaning, you can protect yourself from being a victim of this manipulative behavior. 

It’s important to seek help if you suspect you’re being gaslighted. Remember, being aware of the subtle signs of gaslighting and understanding the gaslighting explained is the first step in taking control of your life and healing from this abuse.

15+ Subtle signs of gaslighting! 

The Subtle Signs of Gaslighting are important for anyone to know about and understand. By being aware of the signs you are being gaslighted, you can quickly recognize when a person is emotionally abusing you and take countermeasures. 

So, here are some subtle signs of emotional gaslighting to look out for when you’re wondering “how to recognize gaslighting?” 

1. Constant doubt and questioning of your own memories and perceptions. 

A subtle sign of gaslighting is when a person makes you question your own memories and perceptions! 

In order to manipulate you, they may deny that certain events ever occurred, or make you believe that your recollection of events is flawed. This can make you doubt your own sanity and can be one of the most disorienting forms of gaslighting. 

For example, if your partner says, “That never happened,” when you confront them about a specific event, or “You’re just imagining things” when you bring up something you know to be true, it is one of the mild gaslighting examples. 

This is a common gaslighting technique used to make the victim feel like they’re going crazy, and it’s a symptom of gaslighting in a relationship.

2. Making you feel as if you are going crazy or unstable. 

Making a person feel like they are going mad or unstable is a common tactic used in gaslight manipulation! 

Gaslighters will employ psychological tactics to make their victim feel like their ideas, thoughts, or beliefs do not make sense, or that their behavior is inappropriate or irrational. 

They might try to convince you that you are too sensitive or “crazy” for having certain feelings or opinions and that the only acceptable way of thinking is the gaslighter’s way.  

This can be incredibly disorienting and can make the victim doubt their own sanity and judgment. To make matters worse, it can create a cycle of self-doubt, as the victim internalizes the gaslighter’s criticism and starts believing that they are actually going crazy. 

The gaslighter may even try to suggest that the victim seek professional help, further cementing their idea that there is something wrong with them.

It is important to note, however, that these are gaslighting techniques and do not reflect any reality of the victim’s mental health. 

3. Isolating you from friends, family, or support systems. 

Isolating someone from their friends, family, or support systems is a common example of gaslighting! 

A gaslighter will often try to prevent the victim from socializing or getting emotional support from other people. This can be done by actively discouraging contact with close friends and family members or by making negative comments about them in an attempt to turn the victim away. 

For example, if your partner tells you that your friends and family don’t like them or don’t want you to spend time with them, it can be a sign that they are trying to isolate you.

The gaslighter may also try to control the victim’s access to education or career opportunities in order to further limit their social circle. By isolating the victim, the gaslighter is able to reduce their access to understanding, validation, and resources, which makes them more vulnerable and dependent on the gaslighter. 

4. Discrediting your accomplishments or talents. 

“How do I know I’m being gaslighted?” If you keep asking this question to yourself, you may find the answer by observing how your partner treats your accomplishments! 

Discrediting another person’s accomplishments or talents is a common sign of gaslighting. This can include belittling the victim’s achievements or repeatedly questioning their competence in a particular subject or activity. 

The gaslighter may also deny their victim’s successes or accomplishments or even try to take credit for them. This type of toxic behavior is intended to make the victim feel like they are not capable and talented enough to do something on their own. 

It can lead to a lack of confidence and a belief that the gaslighter is the only one who believes in them. Examples of this could include undermining academic success by saying, “It’s just a coincidence,” or discrediting your artwork by saying, “You could never have done that well without my help.”  

This type of behavior can be very detrimental to the victim’s self-esteem and cause them to doubt their abilities and value! 

5. Blaming you for their mistakes or misdeeds. 

A person who gaslights you may blame you for their own mistakes and misdeeds! 

The gaslighter may try to make the victim feel responsible for events that are out of their control or for mistakes that the gaslighter themselves has made. 

For example, a gaslighter might accuse their partner of being careless with money when in fact, they are the ones who made the unwise financial decisions. 

More examples of gaslighting include: 

• “I didn’t steal from you, you’re just accusing me of something I didn’t do.”
• “I didn’t break your flower vase; it was already like that when I got here.”
• “I didn’t lie to you, you’re just not remembering things correctly.”

This type of blame shifting can lead to feelings of guilt and self-doubt, as the victim no longer feels capable of making independent decisions or trusting their own judgment. 

Examples of gaslighting someone like this are often used to manipulate the victim. The gaslighter is able to maintain control and superiority by making their victim believe that all of their mistakes are due to the victim’s lack of knowledge or responsibility. 

Blaming someone for their own mistakes or misdeeds is a classic sign of gaslighting that should not be overlooked! 

6. Manipulating facts or information to suit their own narrative! 

Does your partner constantly change facts or information to suit their own narrative? This type of behavior involves altering details, twisting facts, or outright lying in order to make the victim feel like they can’t trust the truth. 

For example, if the gaslighter is confronted with evidence that proves them wrong, they may attempt to discredit the source or twist the facts. They may also routinely deny events or conversations that have taken place, even when they are confronted with proof. 

More examples of gaslighting in a relationship: 

• “You’re twisting my words, that’s not what I meant.”
• “I have no recollection of that; it must not have happened.”
• “I have no idea what you’re talking about; you must be confused.”

This type of abuse gaslighting can be extremely confusing and disorienting for the victim. It can make it difficult for them to know what to trust. Other examples include telling stories that contradict reality or claiming to have said something that was never actually said. 

Manipulating facts and information is a form of psychological abuse that can cause the victim to question their own perception, making them more vulnerable to manipulation and control. 

Don’t let anyone gaslight you when you certainly know the real truth of things. Stick to your grounds and be unfazed when someone tries to lie or distort realities!

7. Refusing to acknowledge or accept your feelings or needs. 

Refusing to accept a person’s feelings or needs is one of the most hurtful subtle signs of gaslighting! Gaslighters will often disregard the victim’s feelings or needs in order to further assert their power and superiority. 

Here are some examples of gaslighting in relationships: 

• “You’re just being too sensitive; stop making a big deal out of nothing.”
• “I don’t care how you feel; you’re wrong.”
• “You’re imagining things, you’re not really hurt.”
• “Your needs are not important; you need to focus on mine.”
• “You’re just trying to start a fight, stop being so emotional.”

This type of behavior can make the victim feel helpless and invalidated as if their feelings and experiences don’t matter. It can also lead to deep feelings of insecurity and confusion, as the victim struggles to understand why their feelings seem to be constantly disregarded.

Gaslighters try dismissing your legitimate concerns, brush off your anxieties as if they are nothing, or argue that your needs are not as important as the gaslighter’s own. 

8. Playing the victim or martyr to gain sympathy and control. 

How to know when you’re being gaslighted? When your partner starts playing the victim to gain sympathy and control in all situations! 

They may do this by blaming you for events that weren’t your fault or by exaggerating their own plight in order to gain pity. Such manipulative behavior can be confusing and disorienting for you, as you may start to doubt your perception of reality. 

These are some common examples of gaslighting you should be aware of. 

• “You’re always blaming me for everything; you’re so cruel.”
• “I’m the one who’s been suffering all this time.” 
• “You’re always criticizing me; you don’t understand how hard I try.”
• “You’re always accusing me of things; you don’t trust me at all.”

The gaslighter will then use this confusion and uncertainty to manipulate the victim into doing what they want. 

For example, a gaslighter might over-dramatize a situation in order to make the victim feel guilty for not sympathizing enough. This way, they make the victim feel sorry for them in order to control them! 

Playing the victim or martyr to gain sympathy and control is a classic sign of gaslighting that can be incredibly damaging to the victim’s self-esteem and sense of security. 

9. Gaslighting in front of others to make you look paranoid or delusional! 

Does your partner make you seem crazy in front of others to damage your reputation and mental health? 

A gaslighting example—the gaslighter may tell exaggerated or untrue stories to make their victim look irrational or untrustworthy. Or they may play into their victim’s insecurities by trying to convince them that they are overreacting or are being paranoid and delusional. 

By doing this in front of other people, the gaslighter is able to isolate their victim and make them appear unstable or undeserving of sympathy. This manipulative behavior is a form of psychological abuse that is designed to make the victim feel powerless, invalidated, and alone. 

Gaslighting examples of this could include publicly undermining the victim’s ideas or opinions, ridiculing them in front of others, or making them doubt their own sanity. 

10. Withholding or withdrawing affection as a form of punishment or control. 

How can you tell if someone is gaslighting you? They may withhold or withdraw gestures of love in order to punish and control you. 

In this tactic, a gaslighter may use withholding or withdrawing affection as a way to manipulate and control their partner. They may do this by refusing to show affection or by making their partner feel guilty for wanting affection. 

For example, a gaslighter partner may say things like, “You don’t deserve a hug or kiss right now” or “I’m not in the mood to hold your hand; you should have thought about that before.”

This tactic can make the victim feel unwanted, unloved, and trapped in the relationship. It is a form of emotional abuse, and it’s important to recognize this sign and seek help and support from friends, family, or a therapist.

11. Using your own words or actions against you in twisted or distorted ways!

When your partner starts using your own words or actions against you, it is one of the subtle signs of gaslighting! 

In this tactic, a gaslighter may take your words or actions out of context or use them to make you look bad. They may do this to twist the truth, making you question your own reality and memory. 

For example, if a gaslighter partner says, “You said you don’t want to go out with me,” when in reality, you said, “I’m tired, let’s stay in tonight.” Or if a gaslighter partner says, “You’re too sensitive,” when you’re expressing your feelings, it is a sign of gaslighting. 

12. Constantly changing the rules or expectations without warning. 

This subtle sign of gaslighting can make the victim feel guilty and confused. A gaslighter may constantly change the rules or expectations in the relationship without warning, leaving the victim feeling like they can never meet the gaslighter’s needs. 

For example, a gaslighter partner may say things like “I thought you knew I wanted you to clean the house before I came home” or “I didn’t know you needed me to pick up the kids; you should have told me” without giving any indication beforehand. 

It’s important to remember that this is not your fault and that the gaslighter is manipulating every situation to play mind games with you. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to validate your feelings and to help you navigate this situation.

13. Denying past events or conversations that you know to be true! 

What does gaslighting a person mean? When your partner upfront denies the existence of some real events and conversations to fit their own narrative! 

This subtle sign of gaslighting can make the victim feel confused and guilty. A gaslighter may deny past events or conversations that you know to be true, leaving you questioning your own memory. 

Examples of gaslighting in relationship: 

• “I’m sorry, but I really don’t recall ever having that conversation with you. Maybe you’re exaggerating or misunderstanding something.”

• “I swear to you, we never had that conversation. You must be confusing me with someone else or just making things up in your head.”

• “I don’t know what you’re talking about; I never said that to you. Are you sure you’re not just remembering it wrong?”

It’s important to remember that gaslighting is a form of manipulation and abuse and that your memories and perceptions are valid. Keep a journal or document the incidents of gaslighting; it will serve as evidence when you need to confront your partner!  

14. Using your fears, insecurities, or vulnerabilities against you! 

This is a subtle yet effective tactic used by gaslighters to deflect blame and responsibility for their own actions onto the victim! 

The gaslighter may accuse the victim of having the same faults or shortcomings that they possess, such as being untrustworthy, lazy, or emotionally unstable. This can make the victim feel confused and unsure of themselves and can cause them to question their own behavior and integrity.

Here are a few examples of gaslighting verbal statements that they might use when projecting their own faults or shortcomings onto their victim:

• “You’re just as bad as me when it comes to being on time.” (when the gaslighter is habitually late)

• “You’re always talking about your appearance. It’s so shallow.” (when the gaslighter is insecure about their own appearance)

• “You’re always so forgetful. I can’t rely on you for anything.” (when the gaslighter is forgetful and blames the victim for their own forgetfulness)

• “You’re always so negative. You’re just like me; you’re always finding something to complain about.” (when the gaslighter is negative and blames the victim for their own negative attitude)

• “You’re always so sensitive; it’s like you’re purposely trying to make everything a problem.” (when the gaslighter is over-sensitive and blames the victim for their own oversensitivity)

15. Making you feel like the gaslighter 

In many cases, a gaslighter may try to turn the tables on you by claiming that you’re the real gaslighter! You may start feeling: 

• “Am I gaslighting my partner?” 
• “Am I gaslighting or being gaslighted”

Making you wonder, “Am I a gaslighter?” is one of the subtle signs of gaslighting, where the perpetrator manipulates the victim into believing that they are the one causing problems or acting irrationally. 

This can be done by constantly blaming the victim for things going wrong, making them feel guilty or ashamed, or suggesting that the victim is the one who needs to change their behavior. 

Here are examples of gaslighting in a relationship: 

• “You’re the one who’s causing problems, not me. If you would just change your attitude, everything would be fine.”

• “You’re making things complicated. If you would just listen to me, we wouldn’t have any problems.”

• “You cause all the drama, if you would just calm down, everything would be fine.”

It’s important to remember that relationship gaslighting is a form of manipulation, and it’s crucial to be aware of signs of gaslighting. If you feel like someone is making you feel like a gaslighter, it’s essential to seek help and support! 

What does gaslighting mean in a relationship? 

Gaslighting in a relationship refers to a pattern of confusing behavior in which one person manipulates and deceives the other person in order to gain power and control over them. 

This can include denying past events, making the other person question their own memories or perceptions, and using their fears, insecurities, or vulnerabilities against them.

Gaslighting symptoms can include

• feeling confused, paranoid, or crazy, 
• feeling like you’re always walking on eggshells, 
• feeling guilty or ashamed for things that aren’t your fault, 
• and feeling like you can’t trust yourself or your own judgment.

If you’re wondering, “Is my boyfriend gaslighting me?” or “Is my girlfriend gaslighting me?” It can be helpful to pay attention to your feelings and your interactions with your partner. 

If you feel like you’re constantly questioning yourself or your own reality, or if you feel like your partner is always blaming you and making you feel guilty, it’s possible that you’re experiencing gaslighting.

When you suspect that your boyfriend is gaslighting you, it’s important to talk to someone you trust about your feelings and experiences. It’s also important to have faith in your instincts and to seek help and support when you feel like you’re in an unsafe or unhealthy relationship.

Can a gaslighter change? 

It is possible for a gaslighter to change their behavior, but it would require a significant amount of self-awareness and effort! 

Gaslighting is a learned behavior, often developed as a coping mechanism or as a result of past traumas. Changing this behavior would involve recognizing and taking responsibility for the harm caused, learning new ways of communicating and relating to others, and seeking professional help.

Additionally, therapy or counseling can help a gaslighter to understand the root causes of their behavior, such as low self-esteem, lack of empathy, or past traumas, and work through them. 

It is also important that the gaslighter is willing to acknowledge their behavior and willing to put in the work to change it.

However, it’s also important to note that change is not guaranteed, and even if someone is willing to change, it’s not a quick or easy process. In such situations, it is crucial to prioritize your own safety and well-being and not rely on the gaslighter to change for you to be able to heal or move forward.

How to stop gaslighting? 

Dealing with gaslighting can be challenging and difficult, but there are some steps you can take to fight against it and take back control of your own reality:

• Trust yourself: Remember that you are the expert on your own experiences and feelings. Don’t let the gaslighter make you doubt yourself. 

• Keep a record: Keep a journal or a record of what is happening, including dates, times, and specific examples of gaslighting behavior. This can help you remember the truth and have evidence if you need to confront the gaslighter.

• Confide in someone you trust: Talk to someone you trust about what you’re experiencing. It’s important to have someone who can validate your experiences and help you to see the truth.

• Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you to understand and process what you’re experiencing and provide you with support and guidance.

• Set boundaries: It’s important to establish clear boundaries and to let the gaslighter know that their behavior is not acceptable. Be assertive and communicate your needs and wants.

• Take care of yourself: It’s important to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing things that you enjoy.

• Be prepared for resistance: Remember that gaslighting is a form of manipulation, and the gaslighter may resist or deny when you confront them. Be prepared for this, and don’t let them derail your progress.

It’s important to remember that leaving a gaslighting relationship is not always easy, and it may take time and the help of a professional to come to a resolution. In some cases, it may be necessary to disengage from the relationship entirely in order to preserve your mental and emotional well-being.

Bottom Line 

When you’re dealing with someone who has a gaslighter personality, you will start seeing signs of gaslighting in a relationship. Do not ignore these gaslighting symptoms, or avoid confronting your partner for their manipulative behavior! 

Confronting a gaslighter can be a difficult and emotional process, but it is important to address the behavior in order to take back control of your own reality and protect yourself from further harm. 

Collect evidence and keep a record of specific examples of the gaslighting behavior, including dates, times, and what was said or done. This can help you to clearly and calmly present the evidence to the gaslighter.

Prepare what you want to say ahead of time and practice it so that you can stay calm and assertive when you confront the gaslighter. Also, it’s important to choose a time and place where you feel safe and where you can have a private and uninterrupted conversation.

Be direct and use specific examples of the gaslighting behavior and explain how it has affected you. Avoid using general or vague statements.

Remain calm and assertive when you confront the gaslighter. Do not get drawn into an argument or let them dismiss your concerns.

Toxic situations can range from factors such as friendships, families, workplace and more.  According to the English Cambridge Dictionary (2022), toxic refers to any difficult situation that causes unpleasant experiences. It causes people to feel sad, shocked as well as upset. These situations can be dangerous and harmful if prolonged. Hence, it is important for people to know how to remove themselves from such situations. In this article, we specifically discuss about women in toxic situations.

You may think that toxic situations are just a few cases and it is nothing serious.

But did you know,

• 8 in 10 females found themselves to be in toxic friendships (Survery conducted by TODAY.COM and SELF Magazine)
• 1 in 3 women (globally) experience violence- physical and/or sexual. These violence are usually caused by their partners or non-partners (World Health Organisation, 2021).
• More than 22% of estimated 75,000 workers in 121 countries have reported on workplace harrassment (UN International Labour Organisations).

These statistics are numbers to show people that women (and men) do go through toxic situations. However, it is evident that women are more prone to becoming a victim in such situations.

It is important for women to know how to remove themselves from toxic situations. Once the situation escalates with time, it can have a more serious impact and consequence compared to that of the starting period.

Firstly, it is important for women to recognise and identify if a person is toxic. It is important to be aware of your surroundings and yourself too. How does the person make you feel? Are you always in fear? Do they make you uncomfortable? Do you feel ‘used’/drained constantly? Do you have bruises physically and/or mentally? These are some questions you can reflect on your own. Making small progress is always the best way forward- even when you feel ‘stuck’.

After you have identified such signs about the person, it is important for you to identify why you are still holding on to that person. Is it because you are working with them and you want to secure your job? Is it because they provide you with some needs- eg: shelter, finances etc? Is it because you have some cultural beliefs attached to your perspectives? Is it because you feel inferior and that you can’t do anything about it? There are so many reasons to why we sometimes hold on to toxic situations. It can be difficult to let go especially when they play a big part in our lives- eg: our bosses, our loved ones etc. But is it really worth it? Do you think you are able to leave this person and still lead a better and peaceful life? Would you be able to help yourself in the future (eg: self sufficient) or would those around you support you for a short term before you are able to get back up on your feet (eg: Social service organisations, family, friends, support groups etc). If your answer is yes, that there are other alternatives to working your way around the difficulties faced from removing yourself from toxic situations, that means you can let them go and let yourself free from the misery.

The first two steps are mainly thought processes and reflections. This step is an action plan. The third step is for those who are trapped in their situations. In toxic situations, you may feel inferior or held hostage (in worst case scenarios). In such situations, it’s important to report and/or file a complaint to the higher authorities. For workplaces, we have Human Resources team (HR) who are able to oversee such situations that employees and staff are in. For personal matters (eg: relationships, family etc), there are organisations that help people who are going through violence. There is also the Police you can contact to file a report. There are some protective measures such as protection orders and exclusion orders which allow you to be protected from the predator/abuser. The titles of such services differ from country to country. If your country doesn’t have such services, the best method is to report to the police and neighbourhood organisations too. Hopefully, you are able to remove yourself from the toxic situation, and find shelter, job and comfort through such social service organisations.

Finally, the last step is your plans after removing yourself from the toxic situation. After you have seeked the necessary medical, emotional and social interventions, what is it that you wish to do in life? Is there any specific agencies and companies you would like to work with? Do you wish to learn new skills or talents to be able to support yourself (as well as your family, if any)? What are some of your unfulfilled dreams you would love to take on? These are some questions that you will find the answer to along the way. For personal developments, you can seek help through counselling, therapy, talking with friends, reflecting by yourself. For professional developments, you can always approach career coach, guidance coach, workshops etc.

There are ways for you to overcome your toxic situations. These are some of the ways that I believe in. There can be better ways or ways that differ. Not every way can be helpful for someone as everyone is going through different challenges and situations in life. Not every person is the same as well. Trauma is something you will have throughout your life. It will never go away. Different situations might trigger them, and it can appear stronger. With all your traumas and scars, I hope you still find a way to manoeuvre through life. It is difficult and will be draining. Nevertheless, it is important to know that you are not your trauma. Yes, your trauma is based on harmful experiences and situations which can create a conscious or subconscious belief in you. I hope you know that you are more powerful as you are and have the potential to overcome any obstacle you face- with and/or without help. You aren’t weak just because of your situations. You, my queen, are a survivor!

* This article is not a professional advice, it should be used as a form of encouragement and awareness.

Winter is coming, and those warm sunny days are long gone. We’ve swapped out our hot girl summer attire for those cute cozy sweaters. You knew it was time to transition away from the aroma of citrus and lavender, and stock up on pumpkin spice and apple cinnamon-scented candles. You crave a hot cup of tea, a blanket, and whatever’s popular on Netflix for the perfect Friday night indoors, sheltered from the cold. Everything has changed. But there is something we often forget goes through a transition of its own with each new season – our skin! 

A good skincare routine is hard to find. We go through trial and error. Once you find something that works for your skin, you practice it religiously. You say a prayer that they never discontinue your favorite products or else you’ll have to start from square one. But what happens when your skin changes? You can’t do the same things you’ve been doing. You have to reassess and adjust to accommodate your skins needs.

Our skin is not the same all year-round, so the same rules should apply to our skincare routine. No, you don’t need to throw away your holy-grail products just yet, but you might need to upgrade them a little. Here are a few must-haves for a “That Girl” winter skincare routine. 

Moisturizer

When the weather is hot and humid, we’re worried about our skin looking greasy. Your skin might be prone to breakouts due to buildup of oil and dirt from your eventful happy hour. Things get even worse when you go to brunch the next morning and remember that you didn’t wash last night off of your face before bed. Luckily, when winter arrives, we no longer have to worry about oily skin. 

However, dry skin becomes our new enemy, and letting it get out of control can yield the similar results. When the air is cold and dry, our skin lacks moisture and becomes flakey and crusty. Not cute. So, we need to rethink our moisturizers for the winter. 

The right moisturizer for dry winter skin will bring the much-needed hydration to your face, while also providing oils for your skin so it can retain that hydrated. Professionals say some of the key ingredient to look for in a winter-skin moisturizer are Shea butter, Hyaluronic acid, Cocoa butter, Glycerin Ceramides, Colloidal oatmeal, Petrolatum, or Dimethicone. Of course, not all of these ingredients will work for everyone. Keep in mind what you already know about your skin and any conditions you may have. Many brands have a variety of moisturizers to choose from, so you can stick with what you know, while also adjusting to your skin’s seasonal needs. 

Foundation 

Think back to summer 2022. You were finally able to go outside and soak up the sun. Perhaps you took a day trip to the beach or spent an afternoon looking up at the clouds; sprawled out on your favorite picnic blanket. Either way, you probably developed a bit of a summer tan. At the time, you didn’t really think about how your skin had changed, so you absentmindedly took a trip the mall to try on new foundations before ordering online. 

You swatch a couple different shades from your favorite collection onto your forearm (the best spot to get the most accurate match with your face is the collarbone or neckline, but you’re just making all the mistakes today. Aren’t you?). Once you’ve found what you think is the perfect match, you snap a pic of the number on the bottle and order it from your phone. 

You watched tutorial after tutorial waiting for your makeup to arrive, and on the day it does, you rejoice as the poorly done forearm swatching actually paid off! You stood in the mirror for twenty minutes feeling yourself. This foundation shade sent from the heavens had you glowing all summer, didn’t?

Snap back to the present, its winter 2022 and you put on the same foundation before a night to dinner with your partner and their friends. It isn’t until you’re practically done with dinner that you go to use the bathroom, get a glimpse of yourself under those florescent lights that every restaurant has, and gasp in horror. Your face is at least two shades darker than your neck! What happen to your foundation sent from the gods? 

Nothing happened to your foundation. It’s your skin that changed. That lovely summer tan has faded away. Your skin has gone back to its original complexion and might even be a bit paler than you previously were. So, guess what? It’s time to change your foundation for the winter! Journey back to the mall, swatch near your neck this time, and order a new shade fit for your winter skin. No, you don’t have to throw away the old foundation just yet. Save it for when the sun rolls back around and bakes you like a brownie next summer. 

Lotion 

The face card never declines . . . but that’s not the only place we have skin, ladies! It may be the first thing we see in the morning when we stumble into the bathroom and look in the mirror, but the skin is the body’s largest organ. We have to take care of ourselves from our nose, down to our toes. 

Some of us have problem areas that go away during the summer months. You’ve forgotten about that dry patch on your back, but it did not forget about you! Suddenly you’re sitting at your desk at work battling it out with the dry patches all over your body. You discreetly try to scratch and soothe the irritation but it’s useless. The only thing that can calm your alligator skin is the correct moisture.

Don’t even think about those fragrance riddled lotions that are basically just creamy perfume. You’ll need to add something with some retention to your skincare routine. Go for the lotions that offer 24 to 48 hours of moisture and are fragrances free. Now, of course your skin proudly won’t stay moisturized for that long. But that almost impossible promise means the ingredients are made to penetrate the skin for a deep healing effect that will help with those dry patches and ashy feet. The lack of fragrance also means the formula is more focused on adding the bounce back to your skin and less centered on making you smell like sugar cookies. 

Facemasks

You might think that you need to go to a spa or pricy esthetician to get an effective facial, but that isn’t true. You can be bougie on a budget and create a do it yourself spa treatment at home. The winter air can be so aggressive and not matter how hard we try, it will cause some damage to our skin. 

Facemask are a great way to do somewhat of a “quick repair”. The mask traps the ingredients in the skin and creates barrier to either hydrate, moisturize, dry or exfoliate the skin depending on its purpose. Of course, during the winter, we want to go for moisture and hydration. Leaving the mask on for the recommend amount of time allows the ingredients to penetrate your skin in a short amount of time. 

Again, you can stick with your favorite brand and find a mask option that works for your skin’s needs. Avoid the character masks, masks with glittered, or anything gimmicky and cute. We’re looking for a skincare routine that will help our skin thrive; not a fake one to perform on your boyfriend while puts forces the most unconvincing smile known to man. 

Oils and Serum

This one can be a little tricky, girls. Many of us are still confused about how oils and serum can fit into any skincare routine, regardless of the weather or time or year. To many of us, it just seems like something else we’re being pressured to buy, tied to the everlasting false promise of enteral beauty. 

However, both serum and oil can have amazing benefits depending on which ones you use. Face serum are known to give the collagen in your skin a boost. This helps it stay firm and plumps out the fine lines and wrinkles caused by Mr. Winter’s dry icy bite. When you use a serum, your skin becomes more radiant and full of color.

Similar to serums, face oils help strengthen the outer layer of your skin. Oils such as vitamin E work by softening and sealing the outer layer of the skin, this preventing loss of moisture and hydration. This will ensure that no matter how cold and brittle the air gets, your skin is protected against the harsh elements.  

Now, that you have your shopping list and needed updates, you’re well on your way to having your own personalized winter skincare routine! It’s always important to remember that self-care shouldn’t be something we put on hold. Just because summer is over, and you’ve covered up your skin doesn’t mean you should neglect yourself. Take care of you year-round. The seasons may change, your body may shift, but never stop taking care of yourself because you are “That Girl”. 

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE HEALTH ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained in this article are merely suggestions. No material in this article is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider (such as a dermatologist) with any questions you may have regarding a skin condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. 

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re still looking for the perfect gift for your boyfriend, we’ve got you covered.

Check out our gift guide below for some great ideas that are sure to make him smile. From heartfelt cards to unique gifts, we’ve got something for every guy.

So relax and take a look through our top picks – your Valentine’s Day shopping is about to get a whole lot easier!

1) Lululemon Every Day Men’s Backpack:

This backpack comes ready to be your constant companion, with plenty of spaces and compartments for all the stuff you need. Made from water-repellent fabric that stands up to life’s wear and tears, it is designed specifically for those always on the go! So whether your day requires a full load or just a few essentials – this versatile pack will keep you organized in style.

2) Fossil Men’s Nate Stainless Steel

Since 1984, Fossil has been dedicated to bringing fashion and function together with watches that are designed to last. For a truly eye-catching look of effortless cool, go no further than the Nate collection! With its military inspired design featuring boldly contrasting details balanced by oversized lugs perfect for any occasion – day or night – you’ll be ready to take on whatever adventures come your way.

3) Best Thing On The Internet Candle

Discover the beauty of home and personal fragrances with Moncioni Fragrance Lab! Our passionate husband-and-wife team has crafted captivating scents designed to enhance your life at accessible price points. Let us be the best thing you’ve discovered on the internet – indulge in Candle Moncioni’s delightful aromas today!

4) Gildan Men’s Crew T-Shirts, Multipack, Style G1100

Refresh your boyfriend’s wardrobe with this snugly soft and breathable cotton T-shirt. It’s specially crafted to keep you cool and comfortable, thanks to its moisture-wicking technology – so no more sweaty chafing! Plus, a tagless design ensures there’s nothing for the fabric to rub against that could cause irritation or discomfort. Perfectly proportioned with durable stitching down each seam; it even features a lay-flat collar for easy tucking into trousers when styling sharp looks on casual days out.

5) World Bucket List – Scratch Off Print – Adventure Awaits 

With Kristin Douglas’ unique hand-drawn icons, now you can check off your bucket list in style! This 16 x 20 inch print comes with a special silver or gold scratchable coating to reveal stunning watercolour paintings of 80 popular global destinations as well as all 63 National Parks around the US. A perfect way to explore and remember your amazing journeys with your significant other – get yours today!

6) Engraving Men’s Travel Dopp Kit

Show your man you care with a special leather wallet personalized to their style! This luxurious Dopp kit will make an unforgettable gift. Crafted from hand-stitched and strong thread featuring industrial-strength zippers – it guarantees convenience and durability in one stunning package. With two sizes available (10″ x 4″ x 5″, 7”x 3”x4″) there is enough room for all bathroom essentials like toothbrush, aftershave, and more… The perfect combination of aesthetics meets practicality making sure everything stays organized at all times!

7) Personalised Music Plaque With Stand

Make your special someone feel celebrated with a beautiful, clear acrylic song plaque as the perfect anniversary gift! This custom-engraved glass plaque featuring any photo and text of your choice is sure to leave them feeling cherished. Plus, all you need to do is send us the picture through Etsy’s message service while ordering – couldn’t be easier! With 8mm thickness that adds just enough weight without being too bulky.

8) Personalized PS5 and Xbox Controller and Headphone Stand

With its versatile design, the Personalized Wooden Controller Stand is a perfect gift for gamers! Crafted from high-quality natural birch plywood, each stand is engraved with precision and given an oiled finish that creates a unique texture sure to last. Not only will this holder store your controllers but it’s also one of kind – every snap of wood used in production being entirely UNIQUE!

9) Tabletop Glass Fireplace

Entertain your way with this unique and cozy mini-fireplace. Refillable gel fuel promises flicker flame entertainment for hours – never worry about running out of matches or lighter fluid again! The natural birch base adds an interesting texture in either its unfinished state, painted, or stained to fit the rest of your outdoor space. Its versatility makes it perfect for indoors too: take off the glass top when ready for s’mores and other treats then snap them back on afterward. Get creative right away by building up a dreamy atmosphere within minutes; no glue or special tools needed.

10) Bose QuietComfort Earbuds II

Bose has done it again – introducing their latest and greatest innovation, QuietComfort Earbuds II! These sleek wireless earbuds are packed with features that make them stand out. With personalized noise cancellation and sound performance tailored specifically to fit your ears, plus three different types of ear tips and stability bands for all-day comfort, you’ll be able to experience immersive listening in any environment without interruption. Get ready to revolutionize the way you listen; QuietComfort Earbuds II will change what it means for audio technology to be customized just for YOU!

11) Jack Black The Balm Squad

Get four limited-edition flavors including Blackberry Lemonade and Natural Mint & Shea Butter PLUS the Night mode Lip Treatment with Hyaluronic Acid & Manuka Honey. These complete cruelty-, paraben-, sulfate, alcohol–and colorant-free formulas are made using mood-boosting ingredients like shea butter, avocado oil, and Vitamin E – all while providing superior moisturization protection against windburns or extreme temperatures thanks to SPF 25! Formulated in the USA after being tested by dermatologists themselves, this exclusive set is your go-to for men’s lip care – it earned #1 Men’s Lip Treatment.

12) Men’s Slim Wallet with Money Clip

Enjoy complete convenience and security with Men’s Slim wallet! Featuring 11 card pockets, a handy outside notch for easy access to your cards, plus RFID blocking technology tested by independent German quality control institutes. You can carry business cards, credit cards, and bills securely in the slim design – its metal money clip ensures you never have too many notes on hand. Refined styling from Germany makes this chic wallet an essential accessory that students or professionals will love; it measures 4.5″ x 3.1″ x 0

13) DIY Hot Sauce Kit

Give the gift of personalization! With DIY Gift Kits’ hot sauce maker’s package, your special someone can create a unique and delicious experience from scratch. Featuring only premium 5th-generation heirloom peppers grown on a local family farm—ancho pasilla, chipotle, habanero and ghost pepper varieties that are all-natural & GMO-free with up to 1 Million Scoville Heat Units available for maximum tastiness – this complete kit is sure to be an unforgettable surprise for your man.

14) Personalized Whiskey Decanter Set for Men

Looking for the perfect gift that will blow away even the most discerning recipients?

A personalized whiskey decanter set is just what you need! Create a timeless and meaningful present they can cherish forever by getting it custom-engraved with any design, logo, or text of your choice – all absolutely free. Plus, this rare piece exudes quality craftsmanship to earn respect from friends & family alike. Make your man’s day today… 

15) Beanie

Show off your style this winter with our stylishly knit-lined men’s beanie hat! Not only is it fashionable, but also oh-so cozy – crafted from soft materials for a comfortable fit that won’t irritate or itch. Whether you’re out and about on the town or keeping warm at home, stay looking fabulous while feeling snug in cold weather by pairing one of these charming hats with any outfit – enjoy the season in style!

16) Christian Dior Sauvage Eau De Parfum Spray For Men

Featuring an exquisite blend of bergamot, Sichuan pepper, and lavender topped off with ambroxan spices and warm oriental tones like star anise, nutmeg, and Papua vanilla introduced by Christian Dior, this delightful oriental fragrance is sure to keep you feeling refreshed throughout the day. Not only that but it’s also skin friendly which makes it a great choice for casual wear – so why not spritz some on your man for him to smell good?

17) Men’s Warm Memory Foam Slippers

Refresh your classic style with a pair of Original Penguin’s Moccasin Slippers – fashionable, functional and perfect for every season! With its indoor/outdoor TP rubber bottom and memory foam cushioning in the footbed, you’ll be walking on air wherever your day takes you. Plus it features an easy slip-on design so there won’t be any fuss or lacing to contend with. When given as a gift for special occasions such as graduations or holidays, this timeless addition will show that thoughtfulness matters just right amount all year round.

18) Men’s Hooded Robe

Enjoy the ultimate level of comfort and coziness with this ultra-plush Coral Fleece Hooded Bathrobe! Featuring a classic design topped off by an adjustable waist belt that securely closes the robe from the front, it’s perfect for daylong lounging or relaxing at home. Plus, you can store small items in its two conveniently placed pockets to keep them handy all day long – not to mention how amazing your skin will feel due to its irresistibly soft pile and nap effect!

19) Make Your Own Tequila Infused Hot Sauce DIY Gift Set

For the culinary enthusiast with a special affinity for heat, HOT SAUCE & TEQUILA UNITE is an unparalleled experience. With each kit consisting of peppers and spices, a recipe card, and ceramic bottles, you’ll be able to make your own unique tequila-infused hot sauce in no time! You can either follow the easy-to-follow recipes or experiment until you’ve reached your perfect flavor combination – there’s nothing like achieving that ideal Scoville level from something made entirely by yourself. And when all said and done it makes for a great customizable gift too; simply wrap it up nicely throw add a bow on top!

20) Let’s Get Deep: After Dark Expansion Pack –The Relationship Game Full of Questions for Couples

Ready to take your date night game up a notch? This thrilling expansion pack for the hit party game Let’s Get Deep will make sure you and bae don’t shy away from getting deep – literally. With two hundred explicit cards included, this NSFW deck is strictly adults only! Shuffle it into your main let’s get deep deck or even create mini-decks with just these new risqué cards; either way, there are plenty of opportunities for an unforgettable evening. And if that wasn’t enough spice for ya’ll, What Do You Meme has other adult games available in their store too – so why not add some more heat to the equation?!

21) YETI Rambler 30 oz Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Tumbler 

YETI’s 30 oz. Rambler Tumblers are the perfect choice for any adventure, no matter how extreme! Featuring YETI MagSlider Lids that use magnetic power to keep drinks secure and BPA-free construction with a No Sweat Design, these tumblers provide unbeatable durability and temperature retention thanks to an 18/8 stainless steel body coated in DuraCoat color for extra grip. Plus, it stands 7 5/8 inches high with a 4 inch lip diameter – just the right size to fit standard cup holders so you can bring your preferred beverage wherever life takes you!

all the times you lied
and I screamed into the night
the tears that I cried
the years that I lost
a ghost wandering after you
the months passed slow
the sorries you wrote
and I broke
but you held on tight
shining a light
that would burn me alive
you never tried
I loved you anyway
until the day came
I forced the goodbye
and I walked away
with venom in my voice
no other choice
I hate you
rolled off my tongue
I never belonged
here by your side
I tried and I tried
you lied
and I cried

My pothos has grown new leaves;
they tightly emerge from the vine
and unfold with a glossy green surface
that catches the sunlight. Always in my
line of sight, I don’t even notice.

I’m praying that the growth
I’m experiencing is the same–
unnoticed to me, because I’m so
close to it, because I’m living it; and
while there’s no great contrast,
it’s steady.

You just got into a new relationship with your handsome crush and the first question you have is—how often should you see your boyfriend? Neither do you wanna look desperate nor want to feel needy, so just how many meetups are healthy in a new relationship? 

Are you wondering how often to see your boyfriend? Let’s find out in this article! 

How often should you see your boyfriend? 

Ah, that new love feeling! 

The hype of undertaking a new relationship is unimaginable and unforgettable. You’re constantly texting each other, doing phone calls, sending pictures, and the urge to meet them in person is crazy! 

It’s a great feeling. But the question is—how often should you see your partner? Is it healthy to see your boyfriend everyday? Is it acceptable to ask them out every time and still not sound desperate? How often should you go on dates? 

These are some questions that cross every lover’s mind whenever entering a new relationship. It’s the same for couples that are already in a relationship as well. 

You want to meet him regularly, spend quality time together, see his cute face, and create happy memories. You can’t bear to be away from him, but you also don’t want to sound keen or needy. 

Is it bad to be with your boyfriend everyday? We often overthink this part to draw precise boundaries or rules in a relationship, when you must do whatever you feel is right. Relationships aren’t meant to be stressful, so you probably need to work that out! 

“Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers or by using the words ‘forever.’ But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don’t like doing it.”– Marian Kyes. 

How often should I see my boyfriend?

This article is a knowledgeable pack of informational tips that you’ve been looking for. It would answer all your questions about how often to see boyfriend—

• How often should you see your partner of one month?
• How often should I see my boyfriend of 3 months?
• How often should you see your boyfriend after 6 months? 
• How often should I see my boyfriend of 1 year? 
• How often should I see my boyfriend of 2 years? 
• Some Frequently Asked Questions 

How often should you see your boyfriend of one month?

It’s quite tough to answer this, as every person and relationship has its unique theories and differences. 

Generally, the beginning of any relationship is sensitive; you’ve just started building something together. This stage of your relationship is initial, so I suggest you avoid meeting every day. 

How often should you see a new partner?

You can agree to meet your partner twice a month for a dinner date, movie, or lunch to learn more about him. This is the baby stage of your relationship so try taking baby steps. 

I know that the urge to meet your partner in a new relationship is high; you want to take them on numerous dates, learn more about them rapidly, impress them, have hours of phone calls, and so much more! 

However, seeing your boyfriend too much or meeting him every day can make you uninterested soon. Or maybe it will make him feel like it’s all happening too soon and drive him away. 

The reason behind this is people often get confused between attraction and declaration. Don’t try to rush these things but let them grow naturally. 

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” 

 – Paulo Coelho.

This is the stage when you both are on your best behavior and not revealing about your insecurities or weaknesses with the other person. It’s best to avoid meeting your partner too much and focus more on strengthening the base of your relationship first! 

How often should I see my boyfriend of 3 months?

If you have been seeing each other for three months now, you must’ve learned a lot of things about each other. You must know exactly—

• What time does he sleep? 
• What are his favorite colors? 
• Is he an introvert or an extrovert? (This is important to know)
• What kind of days does he like for going out on a date? 
• How much time does he spend outdoors being happy? 
• How is his social battery? 

Knowing more about your boyfriend helps you decide “how often should I see my boyfriend of 3 months?”

Crossing three months together is an indication to start seeing him more often. In this stage, it’s better to meet your partner once weekly, as it’ll strengthen the bond and bring you closer. It’ll help you learn more about what guys want in women. 

Is seeing your boyfriend once a week enough?

You may feel like “we only see each other once a week,” and that it’s better to start meeting him every day. But, that would only deplete the quality of your relationship. 

Of course, you’ve known him for three months now, but walking slowly is better than rushing. In three months, you may have also figured out your compatibility with this guy. So if you’re unsure about this person, this is the perfect time to move away from him and avoid making commitments. 

Three months are enough to observe what you’re looking for in a guy, and maybe you’ve talked to his friends or family on calls, so now you know what to do. 

“It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.” – Hermann Hesse. 

If you enjoyed the three months of time with him, you should continue being his girlfriend and getting to know each other more! 

How often should you see your boyfriend after 6 months? 

Do you know why we advised you to take the initial stages slowly? It’s because  your interaction in the first dating stages will impact the latter of this six month checkpoint.

When you’ve been with your boyfriend for almost six months, a lot of things change. This is when the temporary infatuation feelings begin to get replaced by authentic, romantic feelings. Your love-at-first-sight thoughts start evaporating and a deeper connection begins to build! 

If this stage is inappropriately balanced, it will cause a lot of trouble. This is also when you make up your mind about your boyfriend; whether you want to go ahead in life with him or not! 

By this time, many things may have happened in your life—

• You know each other’s personal details. 
• You are aware of likes, dislikes, good and bad sides of each other. 
• You can calculate your compatibility much better now.  
• Your family and friends are somewhat involved now.
• You’re aware of his personality, mood swings, insecurities, and possessiveness. 

In six months of dating, you become pretty comfortable with your partner. So talking about how often you should meet can be a mutual decision now. You can both discuss it together while keeping personal and work life in mind. 

Maybe he made it clear and you feel that “my boyfriend wants to see me everyday.” Although, you should still only meet him twice or thrice a week. That too, if you want to go ahead with him. 

How often should I see my boyfriend of 1 year? 

This is the exclusive stage of your relationship with no secrets. You either declare that you love him or decide that you don’t want to continue, so you end it.

Twelve months could be a challenging journey. There must be ups and downs, but if you’ve managed to come this far with him, chances are that you have fallen in love with him. 

At this stage, you should see him twice or thrice a week, as there are no more surprises or shyness left. This decision can also be because you know each other much better now. 

It’ll be bizarre to plan the meetups now. After a year, you become so comfortable with your partner that you can walk around him looking homeless and even go unannounced to his house. 

However, you must remember that your relationship is not the only thing in your life. So try to make a work & personal life balance, if you want to make this relationship work after coming this far. 

In a year, he must have become a special person in your life. So even if you don’t meet him often, try to show him your love in other ways. 

How often should I see my boyfriend of 2 years? 

Dating for over a year means you’re madly in love with him and have been committed to each other through years of togetherness. 

After this, you need not have any rules about how often you should see your boyfriend. You can ask him or meet him whenever you are free to spend some quality time together. 

Dating for over a year doesn’t mean it will work out without any effort now. You have to make an effort even if you don’t meet him too often. 

You can still make him feel special by sending gifts, flowers, cute morning texts, long romantic messages, and much more. 

Related Post: Cute things to draw for your boyfriend!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How often should couples see each other? When you’re dating a guy, you may have several questions about the frequency of meeting him. 

Many couples make the mistake of meeting every single day, which ruins the quality of their relationship. 

The reason behind this is very simple. For instance, you get to eat sweets (all of your favorite ones) every single day. What will happen? You’ll get tired of eating sweets, even if they are the tastiest ones. 

The same is with a relationship. When you meet your partner every single day, you’re ruining attractiveness within each other. It’s human tendency to not be attracted to something that can come to them everyday. 

Instead, you crave something which is hard to get. The same should go in a relationship. You should miss them, think about them, get butterflies imagining romantic scenarios, feel the impatience to meet them, and much more. 

All of it happens when you keep a steady distance between, which is sometimes very necessary to keep a relationship joyful. 

So, here are some related questions if you have been wondering, “how often should you see your boyfriend?” 

Question 1. Is it healthy to see your boyfriend every day? 

Answer: No, it is not healthy to see your boyfriend every day, at least until you’re in the early stages of your relationship. Even if you have been together for years now, you should try to have breaks between seeing each other. 

Having a little distance goes a long way. 

What if you go to school, college, or the office together? Well, then you have to indirectly see each other regularly, which can be both healthy and unhealthy. 

It’s okay to see him, but don’t try to spend separate hours with him every day. You should have a difference in your regular meetups and dates. 

Question 2. Is it normal to not see your boyfriend every day? 

Answer: Yes, it’s perfectly normal not to see your boyfriend every day. 

You are an individual who has a separate life. You can be busy with work, friends, family or even private matters, which are all equally important. So not being able to meet your partner isn’t a big deal. 

In fact, you should intentionally not meet him too much, or it’ll affect your relationship’s quality. 

Not being able to meet your boyfriend everyday is okay. But you know what’s not okay? Not putting effort into the relationship while not being around him. It’s not the distance; it’s the love that matters. 

Use this time to express your feelings virtually. Text him and tell him how much you miss him and crave his vibes every hour. Click selfies or pictures and send them to him. Sing him a lullaby when going to sleep. 

There are many romantic things you can do for him even without seeing him regularly! 

Question 3. Do couples need to meet every day? 

Answer: No, couples do not “need” to meet every day. No matter what stage of your relationship may be going on, meeting your boyfriend one to three times a week is perfectly healthy. 

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship to get something: they’re trying to find someone who will make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, not a place that you go to take.” 

 – Anthony Robbins. 

Question 4. How often should you see your boyfriend in a long-distance relationship? 

Answer: Undoubtedly, long distance relationships are hard to deal with. As they need proper patience and love. But you must know “distance means so little when a person means so much.” 

For long distance relationships, the right answer would be—meet as many times as realistically possible. For instance, if a holiday is coming up and you have the time to meet your partner, do it. If you have saved some extra money, go surprise them without telling.

Simply, try to meet your partner whenever the resources are in your hand and the timing is right. It can be five times a year or two times. Do it as it fits your relationship. 

“I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.” – Julia Roberts.

Question. 5 Can a relationship last without seeing each other?

Answer: Yes! The power of love is unimaginable, and with proper patience and balance, you will get it all one day. It’s tough to say that a relationship will last forever without seeing each other in the twenty-first century.  

I will not say forever, but it can work for months if two partners are willing to stay with each other. They’ll find a way to get together and live happily ever after. 

Bottom line

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning the flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature, and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” 

  – Bruce Lee 

You should keep some tips in mind about how often you should see your boyfriend in the first stages of your relationship. Remember to take baby steps in the first two stages of your relationship. 

But after a particular time, there are no rules, love. Make the most of the memories together, be fearless, love hard and let people know that there’s still true love alive in the world.

Situationships are often observed in a bad light; the possible explanation could depend on the massive misconception we have about the term. Regardlessly, a situationship can soon become a troublesome encounter in your life if you don’t observe and restrict these situationship red flags that come along. 

Often, many individuals don’t mind crossing boundaries and red flags because they think they are somehow protected by the term “situationship.” However, a situationship doesn’t give individuals the right to be a douche, disrespectful, or toxic. That’s why it’s necessary to understand the actual definition(s) of a situationship and its red flags before you fall for their famous “Chill, we are not exclusive!” escape. 

In simpler terms, a situationship can be an exploring opportunity for many individuals who don’t want to commit for the time being. Of course, it should be mutual between partners for it to be an opportunity. Situationship allows individuals to get to know each other better without the fear of nagging commitment. 

That’s not the only definition of a situationship. It can also broadly define a trial phase before an exclusive relationship where individuals get to know each other before stepping into commitment. However, the scarcity of the correct terms to actually define situationship can lead many individuals into toxic connections. 

“We are just casual, I shouldn’t expect a romantic date from them.” 

Absolutely wrong! Casual dating doesn’t mean you settle down for less or boring stuff. Casual dating is supposed to be commitment-free, but it’s also supposed to be fun and exciting! 

What is a situationship? 

A situationship can include multiple situations between non-exclusive couples. 

It can happen between friends or strangers. Situationship lies somewhere between “more than friends with benefits” but ‘not a relationship” when two friends decide to give their undying tension a chance at romance. A serious relationship can rack the friendship between two people, so many choose to get involved in a situationship. 

It can also be called “casual dating” for couples who don’t want to commit. In such an equation, the interaction will include everything a relationship has except commitment. 

For strangers who meet online/offline, situationship is an excellent opportunity to get to know each other before getting into other serious stuff. 

However, in every scenario, it’s necessary to be on similar grounds before starting a situationship— undiscussed expectations can immensely hurt both parties.

Many consider situationship a casual hookup or another synonym for “friends with benefits.” That’s not true! A situationship can and will involve romantic intimacy along with sexual encounters. People would try to hook up with you in the name of situationship and provide you with the bare minimum. If you are in such an entanglement, please know it’s anything but a situationship. 

Signs you are unofficially dating.

• Situationship can be called casual or unofficial dating.
• You can go out on dates in a situationship and still keep it casual. 
• People in a situationship can date others, but they should be transparent about the decision. 
• It can happen between friends, strangers, colleagues, hookup partners, or one-night stands as long as it’s mutually acceptable. 
• You talk to each other day and night; it still doesn’t seem enough. 
• You genuinely enjoy spending time with them. 

15 Situationship red flags to keep in mind while casual dating. 

Treating a situationship like a hookup is one of the biggest red flags I have encountered. That’s not all, situationship can benefit many douches under the pretense. So, staying clear of these 15 situationship red flags is necessary to save yourself from toxic individuals and an unworthy dating experience. 

1. Treating it like a hookup

A situationship is a phase where you get to know each other better and spend quality time together. While having sexual encounters does offer you quality time, it rarely allows you to actually “get to know each other.” 

There’s only so much you can know about the person while engaging in sexual activities with them. 

It’s a misconception that situationship are back-to-back hookups or a ‘friends with benefits’ sitch. 

A situationship does include commitment-free and passionate sex, but it also includes playful dates, fun meet-ups, romantic/engaging conversations, etc. Treating a situationship like a hookup is a red flag because it leaves you confused, used, and dull. No situationship should steal the “fun dating experience” from you. 

Your current casual partner might not be aware of the concept either. You can genuinely discuss and explain the idea of a real situationship to them. However, if you both have different expectations from the situationship, it’s better to leave and look for someone who’s on the same page as you. 

Situationship vs. friends with benefits

‘Friends with benefits’ solely focuses on a sexual relationship between two friends. On the other hand, a situationship includes romantic connection, non-physical attraction along with sexual intimacy. 

No romantic dates.

People get scared easily— why would anyone want a lifelong commitment right after a couple of dates, especially if you have already discussed the non-commitment deal. (If you haven’t, please learn about each other’s expectations from this connection) 

Romantic dates are a must in a situationship— how else would you get to know each other? Or, how else would you calculate if this “situation” is worth trying? 

• “I don’t want to go on dates because I want to keep things casual.” 
• “Please, don’t expect dates or romantic shit from me. We are not in a relationship.” 

A situationship shouldn’t treat you dispassionately— it should be full of compassion, romance, and hot sex(minus commitment). Anything less is below the bare minimum. 

Whether you are trying to work out a situationship or casually dating— romantic dates are a must. I ensure to entertain my date, be compassionate with them, and have meaningful conversations while also being clear about my commitment (or its lack of) 

If your situationship partner doesn’t entertain the night and drives right into sex— why are you even with them? You deserve playful dates and romance! 

It starts in the bed and ends in the bed.

• Is sex the only highlight of your situationship? 
• Do all your dates end in bed? 
• Do all your dates start in their bed? 

“Hey, meeting at my place does count as a date.” 

Of course, it does! However, are all your dates held in your partner’s bed or yours? You should reconsider this situationship. 

Not every encounter with your “situationship partner” should confide within the boundaries of your/their bedroom. They should be more open, exploring, and unique. A house date sounds fun, but is sex the only thing you get offered at their place? Well, it’s a red flag because your partner might be only using you for casual hookups in the name of a situationship. 

A house date can include cooking together, having dinner, playing fun games, and spending the night on the terrace gazing at the stars, along with sex. It should never be just sex. 

There’s nothing wrong in hooking up with someone, but it shouldn’t be done in the name of a situationship. A situationship isn’t a hookup. 

Note how they treat you after having sex. Do they take an interest in after-care or do they leave immediately? Providing after-care after sex is basic decency. It speaks volumes about the type of person you are getting involved with. A situationship shouldn’t make you feel insignificant, less valuable, or a vessel for their desires. 

Avoiding the “where do we stand in the relationship.” 

Many individuals who want to indulge in a situationship often confuse “no commitment with no communication at all.” It’s dumb and ridiculous. 

It’s alright to mutually not want to commit, but that shouldn’t permanently seal your lips from having engaging conversations. It’s necessary to communicate about your boundaries and why you prefer a situationship. 

Do they run away whenever you ask, “where are we in the relationship?” Why run away? Be honest about your needs and expectations from the situationship. 

Not having proper communication can confuse both of you and hurt you badly, especially when you both don’t understand what falls and falls out of the term situationship.

Let me tell you, open communication and being vocal about your expectations is very much necessary in relationships, whether a situationship or not. It’s not a crime to ask your partner “where you both stand in the relationship.” If they make you feel wrong about openly discussing the situationship, that person is one scared cat. 

If I’m not ready for commitment, I let my partner(s) sincerely know without making them feel bad about having feelings. In fact, I always want to know how they feel about this situation to ensure I don’t hurt them unintentionally. 

If you both have different expectations, you should leave that situationship. It’s a red flag when they continue to force you into the situationship despite knowing your expectations and feelings. It shows that they don’t care about hurting you. It’s a red flag when they manipulate you into staying by feeding you false hope or vague details. 

No engaging communication

Again, if deep/engaging conversations remain far at bay in the situationship, what’s the point of being in that situationship? 

“We are not in a relationship, why are you asking so many questions?” 

• Does your partner take an interest in knowing you?
• Do they ask you about your days?
• Do they listen to you attentively?
• Do they ask engaging questions about your life and what you are passionate about?
• Do they take the initiative to make the dates more interesting with engaging conversations?

If not, you shouldn’t bore yourself with this trial phase; it will not get better with time anyway.

• Do they talk about themselves all the time and completely disregard you?
• Do they only speak to you when they need you?

If yes, the situationship will tire you down sooner or later. Letting go of such individuals is better than expecting romance from them. 

A situationship should be engaging, entertaining, and stimulating. If your partner runs away from exciting conversations, they are not the right person for you. 

Prolonged stay

A situationship becomes a problem when it overstays its welcome. 

It’s alright to have a non-exclusive situationship when you are both into casual dating without a desire for commitment. However, suppose this situationship is a trial period to get to know each other better before getting into an exclusive relationship. In that case, the prolonged stay could soon turn into a red flag. 

As a trial period, situationships are supposed to be short and interesting. Suppose your partner’s been with you for more than 2-3 months and still persists in being non-exclusive. In that case, they might just be trying to buy time to avoid relationship commitment and exclusivity. This is wrong, especially if you have told them about your needs and expectations from this situationship. 

• “It’s going so well, why to label it?”
• “I can date other people, we aren’t in a relationship!” Says the person who’s been with you for almost half a year. 
• “Why do you persist on this, we talked about keeping things casual until we are both ready.” 

If they continue to use the “situationship label” after months of knowing how you feel and what you expect from the relationship, they are simply using you to have the goods of the relationship without commitment or loyalty. 

• It’s a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. 
• It’s a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. 
• It’s a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates. 
• It’s a red flag when they hang you in the middle with fake or empty promises. 

No emotional gravity

Does your situationship make you feel invalid, insignificant, empty, and alone? Not having emotional gravity in the situationship is a major red flag— it shows what you have ahead of you in the relationship. 

It wouldn’t kill your partner to ask how you feel or what’s bothering you. A situationship shouldn’t transform a couple into two blocks of ice. Sharing laughter, tears, joy, fun, and sadness is a part of every connection, whether committed or not. 

• It’s a red flag when your partner doesn’t care about your emotions or doesn’t express them. 
• It’s a red flag when they don’t question your mood/day. 
• It’s a red flag if they make you feel bad about expressing yourself. 
• It’s a red flag if they don’t express themselves openly. 

A situationship shouldn’t be dull or dead— it should be full of depth and sincerity. 

Taken for granted. 

Situationships can quickly be taken for granted if not monitored. The no-commitment clause makes us wonder what’s the right thing to do when you are in such a casual agreement. Situationship often look chill, laid back, and casual; it may force us to accept whatever bare minimum we are offered. 

• However, it’s a red flag if your partner takes you for granted and calls over only when they want.
• It’s a red flag when your partner avoids your schedule and prioritizes their schedule. 
• It’s a red flag when they make last-minute plans without consulting you first. 
• It’s a red flag if they make you feel like an option in their long list of situationships. 

Whether a situationship or not, no one should take you for granted— your time and presence are just as equally important. If they don’t value your schedule or ensure you are comfortable— why bother to be with them?

A decent person will value your time and treasure every second you spend with them. 

• They will put effort into making you feel comfortable. 
• They will put effort into finding a place that you actually enjoy.

If you feel disrespected and unvalued, leave that situationship. There are a thousand people who’d make you feel unique and significant; you shouldn’t settle for any less. 

Minimum effort

Situationships can soon become messy if you allow your laid-back partner to walk all over you continuously. It’s easy to not put effort into the situationship and still accept a connection or spark— that’s what people consider the hallmark of a situationship. 

It doesn’t make sense, right? How can people accept a thriving relationship/situationship when they are not ready to put in the effort? A situationship without earnest effort is a red flag because your partner doesn’t want to work for the relationship and yet somehow still wants to accept the goods of the relationship. That’s greedy and lame. 

What are the expected efforts in the situationship? 

• They show excitement at the thought of meeting you. 
• They go out of their way to make you feel comfortable and happy. 
• They regard your feelings and your ideal dating experience. 
• They ensure you are also equally satisfied during sex. 
• They offer you after-care post-sex and aren’t scared of the thought. 
• They take the initiative to know you. You’d constantly find them asking about you. 
• They want to make you smile, laugh, and open up. 

If your partner isn’t doing a single thing from this list, seriously, why are you with them at all? It’s dull and boring to stay with people who aren’t excited about dating you. 

In a situationship, having fewer dates in the month and scarcer calling/texting sessions is alright. However, when you do meet your partner, they should give you their undivided attention during the date/chats/calls. 

Efforts in the relationship don’t mean you call your partner day and night 24*7. It simply means taking quality time out whenever you can. Always choose quality over quantity when it comes to situationships. It allows you to respect each other’s boundaries and yet explore together. 

Inconsistent display of emotions

Who likes the hot and cold behavior of an individual? Not me! I’m honest with my emotions; the least I expect is honesty in return. If your partner switches their feelings back and forth, you may want to reconsider this situationship. 

• Do they shower you with love and allusion of commitment and then switch to a colder personality, or deny the commitments they intentionally throw at you? 

• Do they love you like a girlfriend and talk about the future only to treat you like a temporary person later? 

Many individuals will shower you with love only to ensure you don’t run away from the situationship. They will switch back to being cold once you start expecting commitments from them. 

It’s cruel to give someone false hopes and then make them feel wrong about their expectations. 

“Baby, I love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms if that’s possible.” 

“Please, we are casual! Why do you always want to talk about the future?” 

If your partner hangs you in the middle with fake promises and hopes, it’s a red flag. 

They breadcrumb you

Breadcrumbing is another type of emotional manipulation that hangs you in the middle of nowhere. It neither turns into a meaningful situationship nor leads you to an exclusive relationship. 

Breadcrumbing can leave you confused and with a lot of mixed signals. A person who breadcrumbs you would often give you just enough attention to keep you around until they are sure. 

• This usually happens when a person isn’t sure of you but doesn’t want to let you. 
• Some people may keep you around as the second option if their first option falls apart. 
• They may simply want to increase their body count number. 
• They may want to have an extra option in case their other dates bail. 

Breadcrumbing is often vague and empty. Your partner may make plans without being specific about the details. When you ask them about the details, they usually reply with, ‘we’ll see!’ 

They hide you from the world.

It’s alright if you don’t meet your partner’s family since you are still in the trial phase. However, does this situationship feel illicit and secretive without reason? 

• Do you only meet them at your place or theirs? 
• Do they avoid acknowledging your presence when you stumble with them on the streets? 
• Do they hide from the world when with you? 
• Do they choose zero-crowd places whenever planning a date? 
• Do they ensure you are far from places their friends would be? 
• Do they introduce you as a colleague, or do they introduce you at all? 
• Do they try to keep a low profile when with you? 

It’s alright to have the right to privacy when dating someone new. Still, that right shouldn’t steal away basic fun from the situationship. 

They put you through guilt.

It will be 500 days of summer all over again if your partner doesn’t understand what you expect from the situationship. If you have clearly stated that you don’t want a commitment, and they still put you through guilt over that fact, it’s clear that they don’t understand or respect your boundaries. 

Of course, it’s normal to fall for someone regardless of the situation; we never have control over it. However, blaming the other person for not reciprocating those feelings is wrong, especially when they have clearly stated their situation. 

It can get messy when one of the partners gets attached in a non-exclusive relationship, but it still doesn’t give them the right to put you through guilt over that. Respecting one’s boundaries and decisions is essential. 

It’s wrong to make you the story’s villain when you have clearly stated you don’t want commitment. 

This can also lead the other person to badmouth you. They often think they have the right to badmouth you or make you the villain of their story because you don’t reciprocate their feelings. Don’t take the blame; you are not wrong. 

Crossing boundaries

Situationship rules can be stringent when it comes to boundaries. Most of the time, we don’t know what’s right or wrong in this situationship. 

• Should we call/text each other, or is it crossing a line in the situationship? 
• Can we meet regularly or have sex regularly? 
• Can we facetime?
• Can we talk for hours, or should we draw a line?
• Can we tell the other person how we genuinely feel in the moment without wanting commitment? 

It’s confusing, right? It’s like walking on eggshells. Instead of walking on eggshells, discuss your boundaries with your partner and allow them to communicate about their boundaries as well. 

If you have clearly stated your boundaries, and they still continue to break them and put the blame on you in the end, it’s not right! 

• Do they cling to you 24*7 and get mad when you ask for space? 
• Do they behave like your girlfriend/boyfriend in the presence of others? 
• Do they get jealous and act upon it harshly? 

It’s necessary to respect your partner’s boundaries in a situationship. If your partner isn’t comfortable with the non-exclusive clause of the situationship, they should break up with you instead of making you the bad guy of the story. 

Expecting relationship treatment without wanting labels

• They don’t want you to date other people but they don’t mind dating others. 
• They don’t want to reciprocate the same dedication towards you in the relationship. 

They want the relationship experience with all exclusivity but avoid putting labels or returning the efforts. They want to have authority over you, but they don’t want you to have control over yourself. 

They act romantically when you are away from the public eye, but they become distant when you are in public. They act like your girlfriend/boyfriend when alone but act like strangers/friends when with friends/colleagues. 

You should know better than to give in to their demand.

How to end a situationship? 

Be honest with your feelings, not only to yourself but the partner involved. If you have developed feelings for your current partner, let them know how you feel! 

I know we all fear losing the relationship. Still, it’s better to be transparent than to rely on false hopes, especially if you are unsure of what your partner expects from this situationship. 

Situationship can become permanent in most cases, primarily if you don’t communicate efficiently. If you think it’s time to move on from this situationship into a more exclusive relationship, talk about it with your partner. 

If they are not ready for a commitment, you should take a break to organize how you feel about this connection. If you cannot continue a non-committing relationship, you should let go of that person before it starts hurting you. 

How to get over a situationship?

It’s okay to want a more stable, committed, and exclusive relationship. If you cannot continue this non-exclusive agreement, it’s better to let go than to hold on to future hopes. 

A person not looking for commitment wouldn’t be ready for a relationship, no matter how much you wait for them!  

• Accept that it’s not their fault. 

Of course, we want to rant or badmouth our partner for not reciprocating our feelings. However, you cannot change their mind if they are not into it. Start with accepting the reality— they have been transparent about what they need since the start. It wasn’ their fault. 

Accept that it’s not your fault, either. You both are just in two different places with two distinct goals. 

• Be kind to yourself. 

We often blame ourselves for relationship failure, but it wasn’t your fault. You are not the reason behind their commitment issues. So, don’t hurt yourself or sabotage your self-esteem because of their decision. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves. 

It’s alright to be sad, even when people tell you ‘it wasn’t even a relationship.’ You developed feelings, and not having someone you like will hurt. So, be kinder to yourself and grieve the loss if you want. It will help you move on faster. 

• Let go of the ‘what ifs’ 

Stop waiting for that person; they are not going to return. It’s useless to daydream about the ‘what ifs’ of the situationship that wasn’t going anywhere. Make peace with the fact. 

Be proud of your choice. You chose yourself and what you deserve in a relationship— there’s nothing wrong with that! 

• Some people would love to commit to you. 

It wasn’t the right match for you— you both wanted different things. The good news is; there are still millions of people who have similar relationship goals and expectations like you. You shouldn’t waste your time on someone who cannot commit to you. It’s better to approach what you think you deserve in a relationship than to be stuck in a non-fulfilling relationship. 

Walking away from a situationship that isn’t working for you anymore is the best decision you can make for yourself. You deserve an exclusive relationship if that’s what you want, and nobody should tell you otherwise. 

FAQs

Why do guys like situationships?

Situationship isn’t a gender-based equation. I’m a woman, and I often prefer the concept of a situationship more than exclusive relationships. There can be many reasons individuals (girls or guys) prefer situationships. 

• They are polygamous, and sex isn’t their predominant loyalty factor. 
• They believe in emotional connection but don’t understand the social structure of exclusive relationships. 
• For some individuals, situationship is a great place to start. 
• They don’t like the complexities relationships bring along. 

Beware, some individuals simply use situationships to hook up with you. Highlight these situationship red flags in your mind to stay away from such people. 

Can you be friends after a situationship?

That depends on whether or not you both are ready for a friendship post-situationship. 

If the situationship doesn’t reach an exclusive relationship, take a break. Life’s not a court, and you don’t have to have instant answers to every dilemma right away. Take your time and sort out your feelings. If you think you cannot be friends with this person, despite spending very little time with them during situationship; it’s alright! 

However, if you think you wouldn’t mind having this person as your friend, there’s nothing wrong with being friends after a situationship. Many strangers who meet online or offline become friends instead of couples. Sometimes, it doesn’t work out, and that’s completely fine. If you think they are great people and you want them around, approach them with a genuine friendship offer. 

How long do situationships last?

For couples trying out a situationship to test whether they are compatible, it can last somewhere between 2-4 months. It can be shorter, but it cannot be longer. Four months are enough to evaluate whether you see a future with them. 

However, if you are into casual dating and your partner doesn’t want anything serious— it can last very long. Whether you are okay with it or not depends on you. Are you alright with a non-commitment relationship where everything is fun, accessible, and exhilarating; then it’s okay. 

However, if you start catching feelings for the other person, a long-lasting situationship will hurt you. It’s better to stop that situationship before it gets more hurtful. 

Wrapping up

Situationship isn’t toxic unless you notice these BOLD red flags flying everywhere around your partner. Don’t allow them to manipulate and gaslight you into staying in a situationship you don’t want. It’s alright to walk away from a beautiful situationship if it’s not ready to provide you commitment and future hopes.

A normal doctor’s appointment turns into a tragic moment- when you realise, you are a part of the millions of women to be diagnosed with breast cancer. When you realise, you are a part of the 14 seconds where women are diagnosed with breast cancer. Everything seemed fine so there wasn’t a need to schedule any appointments. Regular check-ups felt unnecessary. ‘It wouldn’t happen to me’. But it did. Damages to your cell’s DNA, has resulted in breast cancer. The cancer has spread into different tissues. Thankfully, not too much of your body is affected. Nonetheless, it is still serious. Lack of awareness and health insurance and poverty are some aspects associated to lower cancer survivor rates. Let’s spread awareness, donate to reliable and trusted organisations when we can and seek regular professional healthcare services. Let’s fight breast cancer together!

A woman needs to be independent in this world. A woman needs to take good care of themselves first. A woman needs to know their likes and dislikes, strengths and talents as well as weakness.

A woman needs to know what goals they want to have in their life. A woman needs to know that they are more than a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter.

A woman needs to recognize their worth. A woman needs to know that they are capable of anything they put their hearts into. A woman needs to be able to be independent- in every aspect especially financially. Everyone and anyone can let you down at any point, but only you will always be there for yourself.

If you were in a community that didn’t emphasize on the independence of women, it will be tough to start fresh when you need or want to. It is possible to start fresh but it will be harder for you to break that shell. Hopefully, more individuals accept that it’s okay for women to be independent, and it’s extremely important for one to be self-sufficient.

To those women reading this, I hope you soar high like all your unfulfilled needs, dreams, and goals left open in the sky. You are more valuable than you think yourself to be. You are 100% more worthy than what others speak about you. Start and chase the life you want, queen!

According to the World Economic Forum, women have started almost half of all businesses since 2021. With so many women claiming their space, it’s no wonder that the industry of women-led business coaching is booming, too. For many entrepreneurs, hiring a business coach is one of the most important investments they can make. Not only can a good coach guide you to practical strategies to launch and scale your business, they can even help you overcome mindset blocks and provide accountability throughout your entrepreneurial journey. 

However, with more and more people claiming to have the key to your success, it can be overwhelming to sift through the noise and find the right coach for you. Below are ten steps to help you decide which business coach is worth your investment.

1. Determine why you want to be coached

Do you have a business idea but no idea where to start? If so, find a coach who specializes in first-time entrepreneurs. Maybe you’ve started but your insecurities make it difficult to promote your business. In this case, find a business coach who specializes in mindset and identity. Perhaps you’re well into your journey but are burning out or running out of ideas. Choosing a business coach who has a communal aspect built into their program may be the best for you. Whatever your situation, first determine why you believe a business coach is worth the investment.

2. Decide the type of program you want

There are two main types of programs: one-on-one and group coaching. While one-on-one coaches tend to charge higher rates, they can be worth it if you need highly-personalized support. Group coaching, which tends to be less personalized, still has its advantages. If you’re looking for a built-in community, accountability partners, and a cheaper program price, then this might be the right fit. Some coaches also offer “Masterminds”, which is usually a higher-level (and more expensive) group mentorship program. If you feel well-established in your business but still want a community that encourages you, then this could be for you. 

3. Find a coach whose personal story resonates with you

Ever heard the phrase, “The messenger is as important as the message”? This is especially true when finding a business coach. Finding a coach whose background is similar to yours means they have been in your shoes and can respond with genuine empathy and advice.

4. Find a coach who walks the walk 

This means two things. First, find a coach who can prove that they have a successful business. Do they run a jewelry company? Have they made sustainable income from a food blog? Are they a successful drop-shipper? Whatever their background, make sure that they actually have business experience and are not just a super-savvy advertiser. Otherwise, you might hire someone who rebranded what they learned from another coach but has no other practical experience or advice. 

Additionally, you’ll want to find a coach who has been coached themself. This shows that they personally believe in the benefits of coaching. It also means that they understand what it’s like to be you, the client, and can teach you any new insights they learn.

5. Do your research on the coach’s businesses

Because you’re looking for a coach with legitimate experience, you’ll want to fact-check their claims. A quick Google search of the coach and their companies can usually tell you if they are as successful as they claim. Look for client or customer reviews and ratings, media coverage, and if the business has ever been sued or filed for bankruptcy. Even if the coach’s company has a complicated past, this could be fine as long as they are honest about their experiences and help you avoid their mistakes. 

6. Think small

We often think that the only coach who can help us is the one with the largest, flashiest social media presence. But not always! This is not to say that coaches with large followings can’t help you. If you find a well-known coach that fits your needs, then feel free to pursue a program with them. But if you’re striking out with famous coaches and find a coach with a smaller, niche following that resonates with you, then don’t be afraid to work with them! A lot of times, lesser-known coaches actually have more time to give you personalized attention.

7. Apply social media advice to your business

In order to attract paying clients, most coaches first provide value through their social media platforms. A coach probably won’t give out all of their best tips for free, but whatever they do post, try and apply it to your own business. If it works for you, then this is a sign that the coach could be a good fit.

8. Attend a webinar or masterclass

Attending a webinar (usually free) or a masterclass (usually a one-time payment) can be another great way to get a feel for a coach’s teaching style. Like free social media content, a coach is unlikely to divulge all of their best tips and tricks in a free webinar. However, if you find that a coach is extremely vague while promising that their program provides everybody with spectacular results regardless of their circumstances, then this is a red flag. If the coach’s webinar or masterclass provides valuable information, makes their coaching style clear, and sets reasonable expectations from working with them, these are green flags.

9. Book a consultation call

The best way to know if a coach is right for you is to book a one-on-one consultation call. Whether they’re labeled as discovery calls or clarity calls, these conversations help you know if your personalities and professional styles match. 

Instead of constantly pitching their services to you, a good coach will show empathy and understand your hesitations to pursue coaching. While they may encourage you to work toward the highest version of yourself, a good coach would not pressure you into anything you’re not financially or mentally ready for.

10. Address your mindset blocks

Even if you’ve successfully completed steps one through nine, the most important step remains. Make sure you identify any mindset blocks you might have. The most common ones are: “Can afford this investment?”, “Do I have time for this right now?”, and “What if I don’t get the results I want?” Examine why you feel this way, and you may be surprised that it’s not an issue of money or time, but rather of self-trust and self-belief. As long as you can afford the coaching service alongside your regular expenses, don’t get too hung up on the sticker price. Instead, focus on the transformation and your role in making this happen. After all, becoming a confident and capable business owner is truly priceless.

The Golden Boy

I recall holding you when you wept in despair, but the minute I confided my demons you let them out to air.

Quoting the Bible but living a lie, making me question why I didn’t actually die.

You deliberately hid your use and abuse

‘You better not tell’,

I was your constant excuse

‘Just say you fell’

You’re incapable of truth

Always selling me, ‘I love you most’ when in all reality I existed as your scapegoat.

You told lies about lies because you thought you were smarter

Ripping lives apart while wearing a fake badge of honor

You may not have a conscience, but you do have a fate,

It’s just a matter of time before you fall from grace.

They say time will tell and the truth comes out

But where’s the consequence of dragging people through hell?

Minds may mend and people recover

But I’m exhausted from carrying the burdens you were too pompous to discover

I ended up below rock bottom

Simply from loving a man who can’t admit to one problem

But life goes on and the world isn’t fair

You fake a purpose and pretend to care

You promised love but all you gave was deceit

You convinced me to write a letter because you said it would bring peace

Well here’s your letter

I’m no longer your toy

You think you got what you wanted

I’m afraid to feel joy..

Guess that’s the repercussions of loving

The Golden Boy

Are you confused if a guy is really into you or he’s using you for sex? Let’s find out by going over 18+ signs he only wants you for your body. 

It’s so easy to fall in love but so hard to get out of it. 

Nothing can be worse when you’re dating a guy, and you suspect he only thinks of you as his booty call. I know there’s nothing wrong with wanting a physical relationship unless the other person isn’t aware of it. 

Both men and women desire a sexual connection with their partners, which is not wrong at all. But in the rage of that desire, they pretend to want a relationship too. This can lead to confusion, hurt, and betrayal for the other person. 

People need to be more explicit about what they want and be honest about their real intentions for the other person. Of course, nobody will show up and say, “I want you for your body.” No, it’s never going to happen. 

However, there are ways to show a person that you only want to fulfill your sexual needs and aren’t on the lookout for something serious. I hate to say it, but not every person has good intentions for you or wants to build a long-term relationship. 

But how to know if he only wants sex? Many signs can prove that your man only wants you for your body, not because he loves you.

Not all men, but many men have done Ph.D. in making women feel loved until they get what they want. If you’re someone who’s looking for a long-term relationship and avoids just physical contact, this article is for you.  

In this article, you’ll get your confusion sorted as to whether your man’s horny behavior is normal or if he wants sex but not a relationship. Whether it’s the initial dating stage or weeks being with this guy, these signs will prove whether the guy likes you or he’s using you for your body! 

18+ signs he only wants you for your body! 

It’s really hurtful when you’re being used or taken advantage of by the people you love and trust the most. But you know what? With bad comes good. 

It’s good that you finally discovered his true intentions with you and can make the decision to leave him. Now, you can find someone who not only wants you for your body but also for your fantastic personality, humor, intelligence, and that cute face!

Here are some signs he’s using you for sex: 

1. He praises you for your body. 

If a guy constantly compliments you on your body, then it’s clear that he’s not noticing other precious parts of you. Most of his compliments are about your breasts, butt, legs, or other sexual things about your body. 

Some compliments may be like: 

• “You’ve got an amazing body.” 
• “I love that booty.” 
• “You got a really sexy pair of legs.” 
• “Has anyone told you that you’ve got a great body, or should I”?

If a guy gives you these types of compliments by replying to your picture or while meeting you, then know “he’s only interested in my body.” These compliments mostly come from guys who only admire your body and nothing else. 

2. He doesn’t show any interest in getting to know you. 

A man who’s really into you will be interested in learning more about you rather than just praising your physical attributes. Clearly, he only talks about what he likes from the overview and has no interest in getting to know you personally. 

If he’s not emotionally connected with you, he won’t ask you about your day, family, friends, things you like and do not like, and much more. All he talks about is sex. Do you know why? Because all he wants is sex. 

3. He’s high on touching games. 

When you go out on a date with this guy, he’s constantly touching you, holding hands, grabbing you from the waist, or being too close. If he keeps on trying to lay his filthy hands on you, he’s obsessed with your body, and he wants sex but not a relationship! 

Even if we try to take this positively, too much touching is not good unless you feel comfortable about it. If you think he’s trying to get too far with his touches, it shows signs you are just an object to him. 

Protect yourself at all costs and end the date right there! 

4. He often asks you for your nudes. 

No guy comes up to you saying, “I only want your body.” But fortunately, they all leave signs he’s obsessed with your body.

There’s nothing wrong with trading nudes in a relationship as long as you feel comfortable and have trust in each other. 

If it’s the beginning of a relationship and the very first thing he asks for is nudes, question yourself—is he using me for my body? He does not only ask but begs and pressurizes you to send them to the point where he even gets mad at you for not doing it. 

It would be best if you were honest with yourself in such a case. Do you really want this horny kid because it’s a clear sign he’s using you? Not just because he’s asking for nudes but because he’s impatient and doesn’t respect your privacy and decisions. 

5. He only calls when he wants something.

Relationships are two-way streets, and they don’t work when efforts are put in from one side. When the person you’re seeing is only available when he needs some sexual time, it shows signs he’s using you for sex and nothing else. 

Needy people will never be available when you need any emotional support, advice, or comfort. However, they’ll show up as quickly as a fox when it’s about their sexual needs.

This is one of the signs he’s using you for sex. Know that you deserve someone who’s there for you emotionally and physically, not just when they think it’s pants-off time. Be with someone who loves your mind and heart as much as he loves your body! 

6. He doesn’t take you out on dates. 

Know that if a guy is constantly ignoring outdoor dates or making excuses to meet you somewhere outside, then it’s one of the signs he just wants to get laid. 

He will insist you on meeting indoors rather than outdoors because he wants to cozy up in bed with you. Going on dates in an enclosed space also increases the chances of making out and being sexually intimate with each other. 

This situation may happen when you guys have spent enough time together or have been on a few dates. Now he’s showing his true colors and making it obvious that all he wants is sex. 

When setting up dates, are you wondering, “Is it just sex or more?” When there’s no real connection, he may come up with some common excuses like:

• “How about we stay indoors today?”
• “I hate public places.”
• “I want to spend some alone time with you.”
• “Let’s skip the crowd today.”

If any of this feels different from what you want, you don’t have to fall for these cheesy comments. Be brave and skip the person. Find someone with whom you can explore new places and talk about your feelings for hours! 

7. He barely gets romantic.

Not to mention that our generation is pretty confused with this concept—being romantic and being sexual are two very different things. 

Guys who really like you will get romantic and also sexual sometimes. However, those who don’t really try to build a spiritual connection will only use you by trying to be sexual with you. 

But how to know if he just wants sex? 

Romance is when you’re holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes while talking, hugging, kissing, and getting smoothly physical. On the other hand, being sexual is when a guy crosses his limit and makes you uncomfortable by trying to have sex. 

How to know a guy just wants you sexually? If the guy you’re dating is very sexual—talks about sex, comments on your body, and is trying to seduce you all the time—then he’s using you for sex.  

8. There’s no growth in your relationship. 

Here’s the thing, relationships aren’t just about sex. They are about connection, love, hate, tolerance, support, romance, friendship, feelings, and mutual growth. If there’s no progress in your relationship, then something’s wrong. 

But what could be wrong? A relationship depends on two people, and if it isn’t growing, maybe you two want different things. While you’re expecting to build a strong bond in a relationship, he may be looking for just sex. 

It’s always possible to get out of things that don’t fulfill your needs and wants. If you’re looking for much more in a relationship than just bang-bang time, you deserve to walk out of that affinity. 

How to tell if a guy only wants you sexually? This point proves it well. It’s time you chat with your partner about your dissimilarities and get over him. 

9. He doesn’t show interest in your family or friends. 

How to confirm that my boyfriend only wants me sexually? When a guy is not interested in knowing about your family or friends, it shows that he’s not thinking of building a serious relationship with you. 

If you’re dating a guy who’s not keen to know about you or your circle and doesn’t even tell much about himself, it’s a sign he just wants sex. Without proper communication, nothing can work, and he’s just taking you as a fling. 

Here are some communicational signs that’ll clear your confusion when you’re wondering, “does he like me, or is it just physical?” 

• You’re the only one who texts first
• Almost all his texts are about something sexual 
• He always gives flirty replies 
• You feel like he’s ghosting you
• You hear from him when he’s needy 

Not to mention that when we like someone, we cannot control our excitement to talk to them. The above signs make it clear that all he talks about is sex, and all he wants is sex. 

10. His words don’t match his behavior. 

It hurts when you see those slight changes in a person’s behavior and when they are no longer standing up to their promises. 

Like, if he says he’ll always be for you, but yet you feel all alone. He says that he’ll be the one to listen to you, but he’s too busy even to hear your needs in a relationship. He doesn’t set goals in a relationship, and his behavior is all about seducing you! 

These are some signs that prove he only talks to you when it’s convenient for him and doesn’t care about you. It’s also a clear sign he’s using you. Remember that when a guy uses you for sex, all they do is lie and doesn’t know the word honesty.

11. He leaves right after he gets what he wants.

This a promising sign to check whether your partner is building something serious with you or he is using you for sex. 

Does he care, or is he using me? If you guys have been physical and you notice that he doesn’t stay after having sex or makes excuses to leave, he’s using you. 

As soon as you finish being sexual, he begins looking for ways to get away from you. This may leave you wondering, “does he only want me for sex?” 

If you wanna know for sure, you must observe if he’s still caring, loving, and romantic after sex. In case you had sex at his place and he asks you, “when are you leaving?” or tells you he got something important to do. This sign is pretty clear he wants nothing more than your body. 

12. All his date plans start and end at “his place.”

If a guy is asking you to meet at his place for a date, it’s one of the signs he wants to get laid. When deciding on a date spot, he keeps mentioning that his house would be the ideal place for it. 

In reality, his room is not the ideal place for a date but for some really sexual time. He’s just trying to lure you in and use your body for his physical needs. Moreover, he doesn’t care if you have a good time or not. 

You can easily catch this sign when a guy strongly insists you meet at his place. You should know that if this is not your thing, you can choose to stay away from it. You can decline his house date request if you don’t feel comfortable about it. 

13. He openly flirts with other women.

Flirting is a common dating language nowadays; some guys do it openly, and some prefer to do it privately. A man who’s really into you won’t look at other women, let alone flirt with them. 

On the other hand, guys who want you only for your bodies will not even blink before flirting with other women. They don’t care about your feelings and are only looking to increase their body count. 

If the guy you’re dating tells you things like, “look, that woman is attractive,” “look at her body,” “I like her style,” or “she’s too good to be true,” he wants you to entice him by being more sexual towards him. 

Maybe he shows you sexy pictures of women to define his taste in women. Then, chances are he’s only interested in your body, and he’s showing you those pictures to hint at his true intentions! 

14. You feel like you’re stuck. 

Intuitions are never wrong. If you feel like this current relationship or situation is not right, then maybe it’s really not.

If a sex-driven companionship is not what you want and you feel stuck in this situation, take a strong step and get out of the relationship. I know how it feels when you’re questioning yourself, “does he care or is he using me?”

Well, if he did, you wouldn’t be feeling stuck with him. You can try your best to fix this relationship, but it’s not going to work if both partners want different things from each other. 

It’s better to end it at the right time and protect your peace. You don’t deserve to feel unloved just because he wants sex but not a relationship. 

What to do if he only wants me for my body? 

Physical relationships are expected these days, and people usually make it pretty clear about what they want and what not. To fulfill their sexual desire, most men and women are getting involved in FWB relationships (Friends with benefits), where they sexually satisfy each other without forming something serious. 

These kinds of affinities are better suited for people with the same horny mindset. However, if this is not what you want in a relationship, it’s time to immediately bring down the connection. 

Not just because he’s using you and begging for sex but because he’s not respecting your thoughts and feelings about an ideal relationship. If you’re not the type who wants just a physical relationship, you’ll hurt yourself by thinking that there will be something more than sex here! 

If you’re someone who’s looking for a long-term relationship, this is your sign to move on from this person. Look for someone romantic and intimate who’ll offer you the kind of love you desire! 

15. He only wants to see you late at night. 

If the guy you’re dating insists on meeting you late at night, the first question that comes to mind is—what are his intentions? What’s wrong with meeting in the daytime? Okay, nights can be romantic and fun, but why always night? 

The reason could be that he’s grabbing all his chances of being sexual with you. He’s choosing nighttime for dates as that’s more relevant to his intentions. You may feel physically used and think, “does he only want me sexually?” 

The answer is yes. 

If he cannot consider going out with you during the day and is constantly asking you to meet at night, it is one of the signs he only wants you for your body. Remember to keep your safety a priority and leave him as soon as you can! 

16. He’s only asking you for drink dates. 

If a guy is specifically asking or pressuring you for drink dates, then be smart and observe, “does he like me, or is it just physical?” Guys asking for alcoholic drinks can be expected. But is he insisting on getting drunk on the first date? No, it’s not normal. 

Not to ignore the fact that people are unstable when drunk, and it’s easier to get physical with them. Be careful; start with coffee dates, sunny lunches, and small road trips. Get to know each other well, and then go for drinks (only if you wish). 

17. He doesn’t take “no” for an answer.

An essential mutual thing that a relationship should have is respect for personal decisions. It must be pretty clear that “no” means no!

If you feel uncomfortable doing something and say no to it, your partner should be ethical enough to understand. But in this case, your partner doesn’t like to take no for an answer even when you’re not in a mood. Then not only he’s using you but also not respecting your privacy either. 

Remember that you should never feel pressurized to have sex if you’re not in the mood. Guys who cannot stand it when you say no, don’t deserve you. You deserve someone who not only respects you but values your needs! 

18. He doesn’t respect your boundaries. 

When a guy is all about himself, he’ll never respect you or care about your boundaries. If your partner makes you feel, “why do guys only want me for my body,” then you’re dealing with a guy who’s using you like an object to have fun with. He’ll ignore all your needs and will focus on his desires. 

Some examples that he doesn’t show any respect about this relationship or you can be: 

• “He ignores your opinions or doesn’t ask for one.”
• “He’ll make you do something that is out of your boundary lines.”
• “He’s rude to you.”
• “He ignores you or goes ghosting mode for no reason.” 
• “He is never available for your emotional needs.” 

A guy who likes you for who you are will not only respect you but take proper care of you. Remember, ladies, do not settle for anything less than what you deserve!   

FAQs—Signs he only wants you for your body

When your guy makes you feel like he’s using you for sex, it’s only natural to get several questions that haunt you. You may keep asking yourself, 

• Is he just using me for sex?
• What does sex mean to a man? 
• Why does he always use me?
• Do guys think about sex all the time? 
• How to tell if someone is using you emotionally? 
• How to know if a guy is using you? 

These questions can soon begin hurting your feelings and making you emotionally weak, to a point where you stop understanding your own needs and wants. 

It’s imperative to get out of a relationship that doesn’t serve you and is only focused on the needs of one person. Moreover, it’s senseless to be with someone who doesn’t want the same things that you want from dating. 

So, here are some FAQs that may help sort issues when you’re seeing signs he only wants you for your body: 

Is he just using me for sex? 

In case he’s showing all the above signs, there’s no denying that he’s using you for sex. He’s not only using you but also forcing his desires upon you so much that you ignore your own needs to fulfill his. 

He may casually manipulate you into thinking that relationships are all about physical intimacy. Even more, you may start to believe there’s nothing more to bonding than having sex and satisfying each other’s desires. But that’s not true. 

There is so much more to love than just the sexual bit! 

What does sex mean to a man? 

For the real men out there, sex can feel like the most intense, heartfelt sharing of himself he can ever imagine! 

It’s not just a horny deal or a simulated release of sexual tension. For men, sex is the experience of giving his all in an attempt to become as close as possible to his lover. Perhaps, that’s not the case for every man out there! 

Some men become so obsessed with their sexual desires and pleasures that they start manipulating women to get their way. And you may be dealing with such a man. 

If your partner is showing signs he only wants you for your body, now is the perfect time to get away from him. 

Why does he always use me?

If you’re beginning to ask yourself “why does he always use me,” the reason can be that you’re being manipulated into being used. 

He’s forcing his wild desires on you so much that you have started feeling stuck in his claws. You’re starting to take action as per his wishes, and satisfying him has become a goal in your relationship. 

You should know that this is not normal. You don’t have to serve someone’s needs and wants while getting nothing in return. A relationship is a two-way street that works best when both partners are putting in equal effort and taking care of each other’s emotional and physical needs. 

If your guy does nothing to make you feel loved and keeps asking for physical intimacy, then he’s coaxing you into fake love. Your best option here is to break up and move on from him! 

Do guys think about sex all the time? 

Guys do think about sex a lot, but not all the time! 

However, they think about sex nearly twice as much as women do. And they also fantasize about casual sex more than women do. So to answer this question, men don’t think about sex all the time, but they surely think about it more than women. 

Nonetheless, you may be in a different situation than this. You guy could be a sex-driven person and only desire physical intimacy from you. That’s not entirely wrong. But if he was secretive about his sex-only desires when starting to date, you may be with the wrong person. 

Bottom line  

Let me be clear again; there’s nothing wrong with wanting a physical relationship. But people with these intentions should pair up with similar partners. They must keep their intentions clear when asking someone out for a relationship. 

For people who are looking for an emotionally intimate connection or who are searching for a long-term commitment, It’s time you become honest about your feelings. Just physical intimacy may not be what you’re craving from a loving partner. 

You’re looking for someone to share your life with. That’s why you should be very honest when dating someone new. Keep all your cards upfront, so your lover knows what kind of love you’re expecting from a relationship. 

This will save you a lot of time and effort and also improve your dating experience. 

Most often, people looking for an emotionally romantic relationship pair up with people who’re only chasing physical intimacy. This results in heartbreak, trust issues, and bad dating experience. 

So always try to learn about a person thoroughly before deciding to date them! 

Now that you know all the signs he only wants you for your body, I hope you’ll have a better conclusion that he’s using you for your body and nothing else. It’s about time you open your eyes to the kind of treatment you deserve in this world, baby girl!

I can never live freely.

These voices in my end

won’t stop speaking.

I’m trying my best daily.

Yet, they never fail to criticise and question me.

You keep getting rejected.

Am I good enough?

Your hair is a mess.

Am I pretty?

You should have given it more than your all.

Am I not smart enough?

You talk to yourself.

Don’t you have anybody to care?

No dreams and goals.

Why is your life such a mess?

I guess I can never be free.

I don’t have switches like these power sockets & I can’t remove my mind like an unused battery.

I guess, this story is mine to share.

Don’t we all have some type of experience we have?

If you ever feel alone, know that 8 billion of us are with you- not physically but emotionally.

Remember to reach out if you wish to, it’s okay to not always be okay.

the bitten skin on the inside of my mouth is whole again.

anxious mannerisms make up the molecules of my skin.

an x on the calendar of a fresh start,

to keep old promises and make new mistakes.

 

 

twenty-seven days and i’m new again.

a double take in the mirrors of my home,

blemished ivory now glistens in the dome lights.

fingertips grasping at memories

pinned to walls by the nimble hands from two years ago.

 

 

a stranger in the shadows at a funeral,

i always find myself attending my own.

a eulogy for a death unnoticed,

building a graveyard of regeneration.

an introduction to an audience of one.

 

 

the hands you held are not mine from september.

somehow the scars of adolescence

will tell stories to the moments of impact

still to imprint empty spaces on the surface.

 

 

the mourning and missing and grieving

of the person i was a month ago

itches the depths of my soul.

a ludicrous philosophy of my own creation,

the only constant of my being,

the one true consequence of living.

 

 

yet i will repeat the cycle until the last breath.