First of all, I don’t think there’s any shame in being single— I think being single is empowering. I mean, I understand loneliness can be depressing, but instead of being with the wrong person, it’s better to be single.
I want to tell you that you’re not alone in this journey. Many unmarried people out there are happy and enjoying their lives with their pets and family.
In this 21st century, people choose to be single and crave to be financially strong and independent more than being dependent on someone for emotional needs. Their new goals are to be rich, have children, and travel even without having a partner.
Being single and being happy is a journey— you may find yourself sad today without a partner, but there’s a different kind of peace in solitude & freedom.
To truly be happy when single, you have to make yourself solid and independent. You need to learn to be content alone because it’s your responsibility, and nobody’s going to do that but you.
The worst amongst it all is watching people posting cute photos with their partner, stories of their romance, and whatnot. Please remember that what looks perfect on social media might be different in real life, so stop comparing your life with other people.
Loneliness goes straight to your head and disturbs your mental peace, especially when you look around your environment and watch people getting married, engaged, or even in a relationship.
I understand this exhaustion. But just because you’re craving company, you shouldn’t jump into an inappropriate relationship. Instead, start developing your mind-body, interact with new people, and don’t waste your time thinking you’re lonely because you’re not. You have yourself, and that’s enough.
Time is very precious, and you shouldn’t waste a second of it. Believe that someone’s out there who deserves you and will love you more than life (might be a pet). They will come into your life at the right time, but until then, you can’t just sit and wait because you’re too good to be waiting for someone.
I know it’s not going to be easy to manage this but first, take a deep breath and stop panicking; life is not a race, and you’ll get everything that you desire at the right time.
There are multiple reasons why individuals deal with loneliness when single.
However, times are changing. People are choosing
Change your perspective on your relationship status, and you’ll start seeing things differently.
So, in this article, you’ll know some fantastic tips on how not to feel lonely when single and to embrace your singlehood like none.
Happiness is your choice, and it depends on you. It’s a mindset that you create in your head about the things that make you happy. Be creative, do things that make you happy instead of thinking about your relationship status.
First, you have to learn to be happy alone and share your happiness with other people.
Start engaging in activities that bring excitement to you, like joining a swimming class, gym, adopting a new hobby, partying, or anything that gets your mind peace and self-love.
Time is precious, and if you wait for things to happen, you’re going to wait for a long time. We are all humans, and we overthink too much, which is okay. What’s not okay is being stuck in a place for too long. Start working on your goals, and you’ll get what you deserve.
We spend a lot of our time thinking of the ‘what ifs.’ I don’t think you have to wait for anything or anybody to come into your life and give you all the love because you are capable of everything yourself. Life is precious, and you must learn to enjoy it even if you’re alone.
In the 21st century, you can have kids, travel more, can buy expensive things by yourself without even having a partner by your side. So what are you even waiting for? Just have faith in yourself, and the right things will come to you at the right time.
We all have past traumas that still haunt our minds, but try to take these as important lessons in your life.
No doubt your past is going to pop up without you even realizing it, like on a particular song, place, or anything that reminds you of your history.
Bad memories will stick with you for a long time, but you have to control your mind, and you can because it’s your mind, and you have the remote to it.
Remember not to compare your past to your present and ruin your future. Start appreciating your present as you are free now and not stuck in any toxic situation. Improve your today by letting go of your past and becoming the best version of yourself.
It’s necessary to say things out to lower the weight you feel in your heart. If you feel left out, discuss your emotions with your friends and know their side of the story.
It’s okay to express your inner feelings because, trust me, your friends will understand. You may feel left behind because half your friends are already married, engaged, or in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they love you any less or that you cannot be happy.
Please avoid comparing yourself to other people, whether they are your family members, friends, or anyone.
Don’t start thinking that you’re not worthy of love or you have to change yourself to let people love you.
The worst you can do is change yourself for somebody else, and it’s almost like losing yourself. The more that you change yourself for somebody else, you’ll lose a part of yourself, and soon you’ll become unhappy within. Start learning from your past and be yourself.
Of course, the right person will love you for what/who you are, so you don’t have to be somebody else, just be yourself, and the world will adjust.
After an unsuccessful relationship, the start of another can make you think the next relationship could be ‘the one.’ You will start expecting more, and then again, you’ll create a future in your head. First, you need to stop pressuring yourself for things you cannot control.
Stop expecting too much from people as they will love you according to their ability, but you can love yourself beyond your capacities. It’s you that you have to expect things from, and you’ll never be heartbroken again.
I know we’re humans, and we overthink things too much but know that being single is normal, and there’s nothing wrong with you. We make thoughts in our heads and overthink situations that don’t even exist.
Negative thoughts will always pop up in your head but know that these thoughts are nothing but a distraction from your present.
It would be best to stop these negative thoughts that burden you down for nothing. If you think that you’re not good enough for that guy, know that, you’re enough and worthy of everything that brings you happiness and love.
Instead of locking yourself away from the world when you feel lonely, get up, try and start socializing. Join a partner yoga, a book club, be involved in a club sports team, join a panel discussion, and many other activities.
Start forcing yourself to be at places where there are other people so that it’s almost impossible for you to feel lonely. These people will help you divert your mind, change your perspective, and soon you’ll have a different view on life.
Loneliness leaves us sensitive and empty. In situations like these, you’ll focus more on negative thoughts, disagreements, and criticism, and that’s never good!
You will have to change how you think and stop sabotaging your optimism. If you ever get negative thoughts, identify them, and replace them with a favorable situation. It’s your mind, and you can have complete control over it.
Your change of perception towards solitude and freedom will help you build confidence, think positively, reduce loneliness, and make you feel good from within. Change your perspective and start embracing your singlehood.
It’s important to value other relationships in your life, like your family, friends, co-workers, and others. You will be in the worst mental health when you feel lonely, and the amount of love and support your other relationships give you is essential. Start focusing on people who want nothing but the good for you.
So, while you are single, start making connections with other people, hang out with them, chat, make new friends, and know what’s going on in their lives.
Start building connections with new people as it’s essential to help improve your mental health. Start socializing and enjoy these new interactions with other good people. Fortunately, there are still single people out there, and you haven’t met them yet. So, ensure that you always look forward to meeting new people.
Who says there are no benefits to staying single? There are plenty of benefits of singlehood.
Your heart has suffered enough, and now it’s time to take care of it. Take a piece of paper and a pen,
Paste the list on your wall as it’ll remind you that there’s so much more that you want from life, and these are the real things worth stressing over.
Promise yourself to go through your list and fulfill at least one goal every five months. Try to be positive by being alone and focusing on yourself.
I’m not asking you to delete all your social media accounts; I’m just asking you to take a break from it. Social media can exhaust your mind, especially when you are already feeling lonely, like seeing couples’ pictures and engagement stories.
What people show ideally might be different in reality. So, take a step back from wasting your whole day lying down and scrolling through social media. Try to be more active in real life, fill your house with music, give yourself rewards for coming this far in life and embrace the beauty of being alone and mighty.
Pets are the best creatures in this world, and they will love you endlessly. Pets can never see you upset; they’ll give you cuddles and are great to provide you with emotional comfort.
You can also do some fun activities with them like taking them for a morning-evening walk, bathing together, playing, and so much more.
Pets will love you more than life, so focus more on enjoying yourself with your pets because these moments are precious and will stay with you for a lifetime.
If you have tried all the things but still feel lonely and nothing is working for you now, it’s time to seek professional help because you have exhausted yourself enough.
Suppose you still feel lonely when you are around a bunch of people.
In that case, you may feel hopeless. When you don’t have any control over your feelings and cannot stop your emotions, it’s time to talk to a psychiatrist or therapist who will help you understand things better and help you deal with your loneliness.
Sometimes, nothing works, not people, not socializing, and it’s okay; there is no problem in seeking help from the outside because if that helps make you feel better, go for it.
It’s important to remember that life is not a race; you can have things at the right time. Just like that, life is unpredictable too; you never know what will happen; so enjoy the journey with fun without worrying about the destination. Learning how to not feel lonely when single can difficult, but not impossible.
Embrace your singlehood and if you want a connection, initiate it with people worth your love. It’s the 21st century, and you can still have happiness, money, and children without having a partner by your side.
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.”
Eva Gabor
If you’re in long-term relationship, you could get so used to being around your partners that you may forget to remind your partners of the significance they take up in your life.
Reminding your partner of all or even a few reasons why you chose to be with them in the first place could be something they genuinely appreciate and boost their self esteem. This can even turn into a healthy ritual for your relationship.
The relationship advice question arises when you ask yourself, “how do I reassure my partner that I truly love them?”If a grand gesture like renting out a whole restaurant isn’t your thing, sometimes doing nice things such as small as cooking them their favorite meal on a quiet Saturday afternoon will do the trick.
Try to understand what your or your partner’s love language is; this way, you could express yourself better. They may seek assurance to you without you even knowing because you’re doing it in a love language that is not theirs. If you don’t know, love language is how you often communicate your affection towards your adored ones.
Here are a few great ways you can reassure your boyfriend for a successful relationship:
If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, your partner probably is someone who is very vocal and expressive about their feelings. Their life motto is “Words speak louder than actions.”
Consciously wanting to be and do better in life for your partner is something many people in relationships experience. Telling your partner that they inspire you to be a better person could make them appreciate the genuine effort you’re putting into the relationship. Resulting in creating a lasting impact and safe place for your significant other.
If you know your partner inside out, an act of service is a good idea and a wonderful way to express your love to them without saying much.
Doing dishes when it should’ve been their turn, going grocery shopping, helping them do the laundry they’ve been putting off, cooking them their favorite meal, or ordering their go-to take-out order are some lovely gestures.
These are the ways to tell your partner that you love them without having to put them into words.
Acts of service can be a great way to show them that you can be a pillar in their life when they have too much on their plate.
Doing little things for them, no matter how trivial they might seem at the moment, makes your partner feel at ease and comfortable.
Reminding them to do something that they might usually forget or overlook, like staying hydrated or taking their medicines, is a great way to show them that you care and look out for them constantly.
Acts of service make your partner feel that they are cared for. They won’t feel like a burden while asking for help in situations that can be emotionally taxing.
Healthy Communication is a key to a lot of doors, one of them being a healthy relationship. There is no better way to express gratitude and reassure your partner of their place in your life than by clearly communicating it to them.
Usually, when couples end up in arguments, many things are left unsaid in the heat of the moment. Not being able to clearly tell your partner about what’s on your mind can get emotionally draining at some point.
Work on communicating and reassuring your partner that aside from the fights and conflict, the end goal is to find your way back to each other.
If you don’t know where to start, maybe try talking about the following few things:
Reassure them that in every argument, it’s you and them against the problem. It is greatly consoling to someone looking for reassurance when in conflict.
Shows your partner that you are willing to express your feelings whenever needed.
May it be a handwritten letter telling them how much they mean to you or a two-liner text telling them you appreciate them, especially when they’re having a tough time. Sometimes all they need is a little verbal communication & emotional support. It is always well received.
There is nothing wrong if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts. It takes a lot of time, effort, and thought to pick out a gift for someone you think they’d like.
In your partner’s eyes, it’s probably the thought that went into it that matters and not just the gift itself.
A few gift ideas:
And if you’re not too sure about what your partner needs, it doesn’t have to be a big deal, gift cards are the answer. It could be a gift card from their favorite brand or any place they frequently shop at.
Gifting isn’t that different from acts of service as a love language. Both of them come from a primary place of thoughtfulness and careful consideration!
“Spend quality time with those you love. One of these days, you will either say, “I wish I had” or “I am glad I did.” – Zig Ziglar
If your significant other’s love language is quality time, the first step to reassuring them would be offering them your undivided attention.
A few date ideas to spend quality time:
If you’re willing to commit to it, you could keep your phone away for a day to minimize distractions and plan out a whole day with them doing activities they like, you like, or even better, a mix of both.
Quality time can be spent while something as simple as cooking a meal together as well.
“Relationships are work, honey, and they aren’t 50/50. Some days when I get up I only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.” Leigh Ann Lunsford
Don’t shy away from putting extra effort into the relationship. Just because we are deserving of love does not mean we are excused from the work required for a relationship to thrive. A simple gesture and a supportive partner is sometimes all your current partner needs.
Relationships aren’t guaranteed just because you are in one, and shouldn’t be taken for granted. A reason why many partners don’t feel as assured is because of the gradual lack of effort and self doubt. It can be numbing not to know if your partner is still interested in you.
Both the partners should face their blind spots and try to hold the mirror for each other as they navigate through life.
There might be moments when your partner might not be feeling their best, and in such times, it is essential to remind them that they are worth all the efforts in the world and they can rely on you.
Going out of your way to express your feelings is a route you can take to put a smile on their face.
Some efforts that you can make in your relationship to make them feel more secure:
There’s a thing about the first sunshine in the morning and the silence of the nights. Sneak out of your houses for some adventure, and feel the spark ignite again.
Living these insignificant moments can be either nostalgic or unexplored, and it can reassure your partner that they can still love and laugh with you.
This can also help them realize how much you want them and enjoy spending time with just them.
Let’s just agree that men don’t get enough compliments, and even if they do, it is generally on how they look or dress up. We never compliment them on their intellectual capacity or emotional awareness, sometimes leaving a hollow feeling.
As much as it is essential to compliment them on their looks, it can be uplifting and reassuring to remind them of their excellent qualities.
Complimenting and appreciating little things can help your partner feel confident and loved. It’s important to remind your partner what makes you attracted to him or what about him is your favorite thing. It’s good for their mental health as well.
Go beyond the materialistic set of compliments; notice him and praise him for things that are exclusive to his personality. Make him feel special and still wanted by you.
Say cute things like:
Notice the details and compliment him on them. It’ll make him feel loved and, in turn, even more attracted to you.
The level of comfort that you share with your partner makes sure you both feel safe and reassured. Keeping aside yourself and listening to your partner express his problems can be a good way of telling him that you’re there for him. Be his best friend.
Everyone needs someone they can come back home to express themselves and feel vulnerable, irrespective of everything and free of judgment. Be that person for your partner so that they can rely on you.
Too often, we get caught up in keeping our cool and forget about the tiny things that may make a significant difference, like being a comfort blanket for your partner. Start supporting your loved ones today!
Your partner goes through an everyday struggle, just like you. It is essential to show empathy and compassion towards them.
Whether it’s an annoying client at work, or something personal, encouraging your partner to sit down and find solutions together can be the best way to understand your partner better.
When your partner is aware that they have a shoulder to lean on, someone to support them, and that they can talk to you about anything and everything, it would eventually strengthen your bond. It’s a good relationship if you and your partner are able to discuss things when problems arise.
Firstly, let them rant about the problem. Let them have their space to blow off the steam before you can sit down together to identify the root cause of the problem. Once you’ve done that, you’re halfway closer to the solution.
Doing so can assure them that they can ask for your help in times of stress without feeling hesitant.
Understanding how your partner feels about a particular situation is essential. Remember, you’re a team. And you both have equal rights to express your perspective. Just make sure you aren’t invalidating their thoughts.
This creates a safe environment for them to open up and communicate with you whenever they feel distant from any problems or insecurities.
Giving your partner a promise to work on your problems will show you in a better light and make it easier for you and your partner to talk. When you make a mistake, it’s important to accept it and say, “I’m sorry, I understand why you felt bad” or “I understand why that must’ve been hurtful.”
Acknowledging your mistakes will ensure that you are mature and capable enough not to jump the gun during an argument.
Learning how to reassurance your boyfriend is key to a healthy and romantic relationship. Reminding your partner that they mean the world to you can be a little difficult, and there are only so many times you can tell them that you love them. Being best friends with your significant other is the best thing you can for a good relationship.
However, it is a two-way street that makes people on both ends feel more secure about their significant other. Consciously acting on the appreciation you have for your partner by encouraging them with kind words and actions is something all of us should be mindful of.
Many people think that love is all about men showing their undying feelings through a romantic declaration, just like you see in movies. But that’s far from reality.
A relationship is a two-way street, which works exemplary when both the lanes are running similarly. You need to give to get; it cannot always be giving or taking at one side, and there has to be a fine balance.
Just like you, your boyfriend, too, wants to feel the same happiness that he showers you with. He also wants to get pampered, be showered with affection, receive gifts, and get all the other couple things he does for you.
Being his girlfriend, it’s your responsibility to make sure your partner is happy and reassured about your feelings for him. This is one of the most important things you can do to build a stronger and longer-lasting relationship with him.
Don’t worry, if you are unsure how to make your boyfriend happy; you’ve come to the right place. Here are 25 different ways you can make your boyfriend happy:
The idea that only women like to be complimented on how good they look or smell is a notion from the past. The idea that men don’t care about how they look is not true. Guys too love when people notice their new hairstyle and fashionable outfits, and compliment them if they look good.
Also, compliments don’t always have to be about physical looks; they can also be about their beautiful personality or quality traits.
So, don’t back down from giving your partner compliments on his looks and personality. Praise and tell him what you like about him, how he looks like wearing that white shirt, or how he easily makes you burst into laughter. Even complimenting him for things he does for you will make him smile.
Don’t know how to compliment him? Here are some of the pointers that can get you started!
Make him feel loved and acknowledged by giving him your undivided attention. When it’s just the two of you, make sure you put your phone away and listen to him when he talks.
To show him how much you care, give him the time and attention he deserves. You should treasure every minute that you spend with him.
Take the time to learn everything there is to know about your partner and how to make him happy. Find out what makes your guy different from the rest.
You can show how much you love him simply by hyping your man. Whether it’s his birthday, promotion or personal achievement, you should be there to celebrate and show him how much you admire him.
If your partner seems to look happy and you just assume the reason, you could be missing out on a chance to learn what truly makes him happy. Think about how everyone is different and how happiness comes in strange ways for each of us.
You can be a little more involved by simply asking him about his day and what things made him excited or happy or sad today?
Some questions that you might want to try are:
Being helpful at times is one of the best things you can do to make him feel supported. If he’s stuck at something, you can simply brainstorm ideas and find ways together to fix his problems.
Even if you don’t find solutions, he’d feel happy that you’re invested in helping and putting effort into him.
As his cheerleader, give him words of encouragement, compliment him to make him feel good about himself, and respect his goals. Trust us, your help will be very much appreciated.
Your phone will always have a new message from your boss, the girl gang, or your family. There might always be a social media clip that you are tempted to read right away. But, you must spend undivided time with your boyfriend.
If you keep being busy on your phone, especially when you’re alone, he will be annoyed, feeling disrespected, and unloved.
Look at your lover for a while. Take a look at the person you are in love with and have a meaningful conversation without being distracted by other people.
This is a no-brainer and also one of the best ways to keep your man happy. Surprising your boyfriend from time to time will make him feel that you think and care about him.
If you want surprises to be less expensive or simple, that’s fine. It’s the thought that counts, not the size or cost of the gift. To amaze him, you can write an old-school love letter, cook his favorite meal for lunch, bring him breakfast in bed, bake heart-shaped cookies, take him out on a dinner date, or even just give him a massage. These small actions are more than enough to make a big man smile.
Men usually don’t rant or share many personal things, but when they do, you should be there to listen.
To help him vent, pay attention to what he says. Turn off your cell phone, TV, or any other distractions. If you want to be a good listener, give him your undivided attention and understand what he tells you.
Listen to him without giving him advice unless he asks for it. Take on the role of confidant for your partner to make him feel better. Keep his secrets to yourself, and resist the temptation to tell anyone else what he’s been up to.
Search for ways how you can help your boyfriend cross the new hurdle, or simply just be there for him. This will make him feel really happy because his girlfriend has always got his back!
No one in the world is perfect; accept that your boyfriend isn’t flawless. Instead, focus on what makes your partner special and different from others.
When you love your partner while accepting the minor flaws, watch how positivity grows and spreads around your relationship. Furthermore, fewer insecurities and overthinking will allow your relationship to bloom like a lovely flower.
All of us want to be with someone who is comfortable with themselves. So don’t try to be someone else and be the way you are. Your confidence in yourself is enough to make him smile.
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is that they stop chasing and putting in the effort once they are finally together. Whether it’s a budding relationship or something that has been going on for years, make it look like you still want them.
How can you do that? Keep impressing him.
Prepare a bubble bath and sit with him, sipping wine and talking about what you will do the rest of the day. Cook his favorite food, pack it and take him to a sunset point to eat it. Another thing you can do is get ready in a sexy dress before he comes home and spark that wildness.
Even if your relationship is ten years old, do things to impress him and make him feel like you are new age lovers.
Men are simple creatures. You can make your boyfriend happy just by talking with a little bit of flirting. He’s more likely to call you back when he knows that talking to you can make him tingling emotions.
How can you achieve that? Try these tips:
Words play an important role in relationships. It’s easy to just text with your boyfriend all day and then take him for granted. But if you want to really make him happy through what you speak, improvise your texting.
One good idea is to randomly send him sweet messages or love quotes and remind him how lucky you are to be with him. Either by writing on text, dropping sticky notes, or telling him face-to-face, show him how important he is and how happy he makes you. This way, he will know that even though things may not be perfect in other zones, he can still make his girlfriend feel loved, safe, and happy.
For starters, you can begin with:
Whenever you miss him, let him know.
The fact that you love spending time with him and grab every opportunity to be inside his arms will make him happy. It would mean that you often think about him and look forward to creating memories with him.
Try these ideas:
Even if your boyfriend already knows what’s going on in your mind and heart, being honest with each other about your feelings will further strengthen your bond.
Honesty is the highest form of intimacy. It fuels one of the major pillars of any relationship—trust and surrounds your connection with faithfulness and loyalty.
To make your boyfriend happy, simply be always truthful with him under any circumstances. You’ll both get through every problem like a power couple.
Switching places and pampering your baby once in a while can take him to the moon and back!
For some guys, getting presents is important; while for others, it’s the intent behind these gifts. Every few weeks, give your boyfriend a cute gift as a sign of your love.
Avoid giving him expensive gifts that might make him feel like he has to do something for you in return. Instead, look for small gifts that are meaningful or unique in some way. It can even be a small handwritten card or a ticket to his favorite match! Then go together to the match, and rock his day at the game date. g
You both do not have to share common interests to be a power couple. When you know your differences but still respect them and want to be a part of each other’s dynamism, that’s what makes you a power couple.
There’s always something to admire about your partner’s passion for what they do. Show him this! Learn more about what he likes and try to figure out why.
Sports, stamp collecting, electronics, or other boy-ish activities may seem pointless and boring to you, but try to look at things from his perspective. Get involved, learn new details from him, and enjoy each other’s company by connecting with his interests.
Eventually, you will start enjoying each other’s hobbies and interests, strengthening your bond even more.
Men may appear tough, but they have a very soft heart, and it melts like butter on sweet and affectionate moments with their loved ones. Run up to him, hug him tight, and hold him close because he loves the way you feel in his arms.
When romance is mixed with closeness and friendship, the intimacy between the two is beyond stoppable. So you must become his best buddy and go-to gal in any situation.
Many researchers state that relationships formed around wonderful friendships continue much longer than love-only relationships. Always keep that in mind!
Guys like girls who can be crazy in bed. They get intrigued when you show him your unexpected wildest side.
Keep an open mind and ask him about what he wants to experiment with when it comes to physical pleasures. If it’s something that piques your interest, give it a shot. But, if you’re not ready for something, there’s no need to do it.
Instead of pointing out his mistakes, help him learn and grow in every situation. Everyone has bad days, and he would want nothing more than to put his face in your arms and let the problems in his world fade away.
On lousy days when he doesn’t feel his best, be there for him as his support system!
It might be a little uncomfortable for a first-timer, but dirty talk is another fuel that ignites intimacy. Moreover, it improves your relationship; wanna know how? Check out these pointers:
Just like you, your boyfriend has long-term goals. If you’re not aware of his passions and dreams, now is the best time to be involved. The fact that you’re simply being curious about his interests would make him more than happy!
When you know what he’s pursuing in life, you can further make efforts to help him achieve everything. Trust me; he’ll be glad to do the same for you. Mutually understanding and supporting each others’ lives will make your bond strong and unbreakable.
If you want to make your boyfriend truly happy, you must learn how to be both his biggest fan and his most prominent critic.
These days, everyone is touch-starved. Even though we don’t know it, skin hunger is real. So try to physically connect with his aura by touching him a lot because physical intimacy is equally important as emotional intimacy.
In bed, run your fingers across his chest and shoulders as you lay beside him. When sitting next to him, slide your hand in his hand and hold them together. Cup his face, and kiss him every time he’s looking at you. Stick your arm under his elbow whenever you’re walking together. Play with his hair. Just be physically connected to him in any simplest form!
We understand that you want to spend almost all your day with your partner, but that’s not possible, and moreover, it’s unhealthy. He might be head over heels for you, but he also needs his space.
When he wants to do something alone, you should respect that and let him do what he wants to. The last thing you want to do is get in the way of him having fun with his friends or sabotaging his plans with his buddies.
The before-mentioned ways to make your boyfriend happy are very simple. Try to include these in your relationship, and notice how adorably your boyfriend would smile every day!
So, you’ve been seeing someone for a while and things are going great. But then, out of nowhere, he acts distant and weird. You’re not sure what’s going on, but you suspect that he might be seeing someone else. You are wondering what’s going on and if these are signs you are his back-up plan.
You are looking for something serious and see this guy as something long-term, but are not sure if he agrees. Sometimes you feel like he is, others you are not sure what he wants. It is extremely frustrating and you don’t want to waste any more of your time on someone who you are not sure is serious about you.
Plain and simple. If your energy is not reciprocated in any way, shape, or form, then you’re not on his mind. He might just see you as an easy lay or a backup plan when he has nothing else going on.
A guy that wants you in his life will do anything to impress you and make you worthy of his time and attention. If he’s not taking you on dates or trying to make a good impression, then chances are he’s just using you as his Plan B.
If you have never felt you have been able to be completely open and vulnerable with him, it’s likely because he has never given you that space. You should never feel judged by your significant other in any way.
You have tons of goals, dreams, and things you want to do, yet you feel like he’s a distraction rather than making an impact in your life. Don’t let a guy hold you back from anything. A guy is an addition to your life and not a setback.
You have a lot of things going on in your life and if he only reaches out at the times best convenient for him with no consideration for your schedule, then he’s not that into you. A guy would always ask about what works best for you and not the other way around.
If you are not officially in a relationship, you are free to talk to whoever you please. Do not act like a girlfriend without him making the effort of giving you the label. It is his problem if he doesn’t like you talking to other guys. You owe him nothing.
No one should ever be unclear about how they feel about their significant other. It’s a major red flag that he hasn’t figured out how he feels about you. It will only lead to more hurt feelings in the future. You deserve someone who can’t bear the thought of not having you in their life.
Talking about the future is essential in a relationship. It shows that you are both on the same page and have the same long-term goals. You should be able to build on those long-term goals with your significant other. If he refuses to talk about the future, it may be because he doesn’t see you in his.
You should never feel you’re walking on eggshells with your significant other. If you’re afraid of their reaction to things, it’s a sign that they are not stable and you should move on. When you’re with someone, you’re supposed to feel safe, not anxious.
There’s nothing worse than a guy who only texts you Friday nights at 2 am. This guy is only looking for something physical and not a relationship. You know better than this.
We know most men to not display their feelings and be the strong ones, but if he never opens up to you about anything personal, then it’s a sign he doesn’t trust you or wants to open up.
When you’re in a relationship with someone who constantly revolves their life around their phone, it can be a sign that they don’t want to talk face-to-face.
People who can’t give you attention and are always on their phone just to see what new message or notification popped up will never be someone that has your full undivided attention. Therefore, it is someone that is not totally serious about you or cares enough to give you the attention you deserve.
If he cares more about sleeping with you than spending time with, it’s probably a good idea to leave. Examples include making more comments about your body rather than how you’re doing, doesn’t listen to you, or only inviting you to hang out at his place and not anywhere else.
You should never be with someone who doesn’t listen to what your needs or wants are. If he’s making all the decisions and doesn’t include you, then he’s not considering your feelings. This is an enormous sign that you’re not a priority to him and that you’re just a convenience.
A guy is serious about you if he makes it Facebook official. It means he’s not only comfortable with you but also wants to show you off. If he hasn’t done this after months of talking to you, it’s because you’re not that important to him for him to do that.
If you have been talking to this guy for quite some time and his friends and family do not know who you are, it is a sign that he is not ready to commit to you. This is especially true if he has introduced you to them as a friend or acquaintance.
It is also a red flag if you know nothing about his friends or family, as this could mean he is keeping you separate from the people closest to him. This is a sign that he is not ready for a committed relationship. The way he portrays you to the people closest to him indicates how he sees you in his life.
A guy who is serious about you will want to make things exclusive and will delete any trace of another woman in his life- including dating apps. If he still has them, it means that he is keeping his options open and seeing who’s around his area. Not worth it honestly.
The worst people are the ones that don’t follow through on their plans. Making plans and then backing out at the last minute is a huge red flag that someone is not interested in you. If they can’t even bother to show up when they say they will, it’s a good idea to move on. You do not want to be with someone who is constantly being flaky with you.
Whether it’s Christmas, Thanksgiving, or just a 4th of July Weekend, if your partner can’t even commit to plans for a holiday that’s still weeks away, chances are they’re not planning on being with you for the long haul.
If he only talks about what he’s going to do and not do it, then he’s not that into you. This goes for anything from seeing each other more, to making plans for the future, or even something as small as returning a text promptly. Remember that you are not asking for much, you just want a guy who is into you and shows it through his actions and that’s honestly the bare minimum.
If you tell him how his behavior is hurting you and isn’t doing anything to change it, it’s not worth sticking around someone who isn’t willing to try.
If he makes a minimal effort on dates, conversations, or anything else related to you, it’s a sign he doesn’t want to try that hard. If he doesn’t see the relationship going anywhere, he won’t put in any effort because why would he?
When confronted with his actions, he becomes defensive and yells at you for perceived offenses. This is a clear sign he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions and would rather deflect the blame onto you or doesn’t care enough to change his ways.
If he likes you, you’ll know it. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.
These are just a few signs you might be his back-up plan and not that into you. If you’re seeing any of these red flags, it’s time to move on and find someone who will appreciate you for the incredible catch that you are!
Moving in together is not only an exciting time but also one of the most significant life events you will experience.
It is a new way to spend your life with someone and it can lead you down a path of exploring who this person really is – both inside-out.
But what does living together mean and how soon is too soon to move in together?
It is such an important decision, and it needs to be thought through carefully.
The idea of moving in together can be exciting. However, an enormous responsibility falls on you when moving in with your significant other and a good time frame for it – what will happen with the finances? Who does what around? What things can go wrong that would make me regret this move later down our relationship road?
In my personal experience, I would say it’s a good idea to move in with someone after 2-3 years of dating. However, this varies from person to person and the dynamics of the relationship as well.
According to Stanford’s “How Couples Meet and Stay Together,” Research, “About 50% of American couples that move in together do so after a year of dating, and 70% after 2.”
No one can really tell you how soon is too soon to move in together with your significant other. However, there are several factors to consider before making this huge decision.
You want the best in life and you want it with the person you’re with, so you put up with their flaws because they deserve it too! It’s hard work being there every day when things get tough or if one person has an off moment but if you feel like together, you 2 can do anything, then it’s a a green flag you feel ready to move in together.
What you give out is important, so it’s vital to find someone who will match your intentions and actions. If you’re both on the same page with your relationship – wanting to move in and commit to each other– then it will definitely make the process smoother.
Living together exposes all the quirks in a relationship and if you’re not ready for that, it could be a recipe for disaster down the road. It’s important to be realistic about how you treat one another and how you will treat one another when living together under one roof.
If you’re both working towards the same relationship goals, then it’s more likely that things will work out between you. But if one person is looking for something long-term and the other isn’t, it’s probably not the right time to move in together.
If you and your partner are constantly fighting and always seem to be in a rough patch, it might not be the healthiest environment to move in together. If moving in will just add more stress to an already tense relationship, it’s not a good idea.
The most important thing is how you feel about the idea of moving in together. If you’re both ready and excited for this next step, then go for it! But if you have any reservations or doubts, it might be worth waiting until things calm down.
If you have different lifestyles, it’s tough to merge them together. For example, if one person is a clean freak and the other is a bit of a slob, it might be best to work on those things beforehand.
You are ready to be more open minded and comprise to make each other happy
Relationships are all about compromise, and if you’re both willing to do that, then it’s definitely a good sign. But if one person is always giving and not getting anything back, that’s when things can get rocky.
If you’re feeling like you’re not ready to make that big step, voice how you’re feeling. If you’re having issues with your significant other because of this, it might be a sign that you’re not compatible in the long run.
If you can’t imagine going through life without them by your side, then that’s definitely a good sign! If you’re best friends and lovers, then you’re more likely to live together and have a healthy relationship.
Moving in together will not fix a rocky relationship. It will make things worse because you’ll be so close to one another and all of your flaws will be out in the open. You want to test the waters first.
It’s not a good sign. If you’re only doing it because you’re running out of places to live or your lease is up, then it’s not the right reason to ask how soon is too soon to move in together.
You feel forced or are pressuring your significant other
If you’re feeling like you’re being forced into moving in together, it’s not a good idea. You need to work with what your needs are and what you’re comfortable with. And if you’re the one doing the pressuring, then it’s not healthy for the relationship.
If you’re thinking how soon is too soon to move in together, ask yourself if these factors have been discussed and how effective you believe they have been planned out.
Living together means adjusting to how the other lives, make sure both parties are on board with these changes.
Discuss what each person wants out of this situation. That way, there are no surprises later on. Moving in together is a big step.. Make sure you know what the expectations are. If one person is expecting more out of this, it can lead to resentment down the line.
Other emotional factors that should be thought of should be:
Family traumas affect the way people live. Make sure you’re aware of anything your partner may have gone through. If they do not feel comfortable discussing it, do not push them but also don’t ignore them. Just make sure you’re supportive if things ever come up.
If you’re thinking about how soon is too soon to move in together, make sure this gets addressed first? How can you work on these things before taking the plunge?
Make sure the level of temper your partner has before moving on and how that can affect your relationship. If one person’s always yelling and the other feels like they can’t do anything right, it’s going to be hard living together.
Overall, spend more time together as if you’re already living together, see how that goes. If everything seems to go smoothly, then you can plan out the logistics of how soon is too soon to move in together.
It is so important to communicate with your partner on how you feel, what your needs are, and what you want if you’re considering moving in soon. If you guys do not communicate any of these things before taking this step, it will for sure come up once living together and can cause problems.
Figuring out if it’s too soon to move in together or not can be hard, but if you take the time to consider these things, then it will be a lot easier! What are some of your thought processes when thinking about how soon is too soon to move in together? Let us know!
When it comes to knowing what the definition of a good man is, we might all differ in our opinions. However, we may all also agree on the qualities that must remain standard in any man you decide to be in a relationship with.
It’s no lie that we all want the tall, dark and handsome prince charming, but there are some other qualities that you might want to consider before you decide to make him ‘The One.’
Initially, we might all go for the prince charming, but with time and our fair share of bad experiences, we realize how important it is for a man to possess certain qualities in a relationship.
Settling down with a man is a big decision, and we’re here to help you make it by stating the qualities every good man in a relationship possesses. Ready to know if your man has all the qualities we’re about to list in this article? Let’s get right to it then!
Knight in shining armor, prince charming, and whatnot! But what exactly are these men supposed to be like? Besides their charming attributes, what more can they bring to the table?
Let’s evaluate now!
If your man has these 25 qualities, just trust us on this and never let him go.
Whether it’s your happy side or sad side or maybe even the inner child in you, he’s a good one if he accepts you in all kinds of moods.
A good man knows that people are not flawless and loving them helps accept these flaws and motivates them to become better individuals. It doesn’t matter to him if you’re dressed well or just wearing your boring old pajamas; he isn’t there for your looks. He may never compare you to any other girls.
He knows what’s on the inside and values you for it. Flawless or not, either way, if he loves you and accepts you for who you are, he might just be your perfect match!
If he puts you first and cares for you, just know that he’s a good man who loves you. He may not always be around, but he might ask you if you’ve eaten or taken your daily vitamins.
He cares for you and does not try to hide it. He supports you in all the decisions you make and understands why you make them. He’s got your back at all times, and he makes sure you know that.
Being respectful is a big part of any romantic relationship. You can tell that he respects you with his actions and how he speaks to you. If you’ve made a boundary, he makes sure never to cross it.
When you make a decision, he makes sure he respects it and understands your perspective. Sometimes even when the both of you may argue, he continues to be respectful in the ways he communicates what bothered him or led to the argument.
Common sense? We know!
While it may seem like common sense for someone to be loyal in a relationship, it might not always be the case with all relationships.
A good man is loyal and knows how to conduct himself around other women. A good and faithful man in a relationship makes sure he lets people know he’s not available without being unnecessarily rude about it.
A good man in a relationship knows how to understand their own emotions as well as their partner’s. They know when and how they must cope with their negative emotions and how they can use different methods to do so.
They are well aware of their feelings and the actions that they can take when feeling any particular emotion. Remember, a good man isn’t afraid to handle his feelings and work through them.
We mean visible effort!
People can go out of their ways to show you they love you, and men, make sure you know. When he’s putting in extra effort, and you can see it, that’s one quality you must not take for granted.
Putting in effort may be the smallest of things like just picking up flowers on his way back home to you or the biggest gestures like a fancy dinner to show you how much he loves you. It’s the effort that always counts, not the words.
He’s just so in love with you, you can tell.
When he supports your dreams and shows he’s your biggest fan, trust him. He compliments you and tells you how lucky he is to have you.
He makes sure you feel loved, appreciated, and supported at all times. You’re his #1, and you’ve never had any doubts about that? You guessed it; he’s a good man!
There are no hidden motives; you know everything about him, and he knows everything about you. When something is bothering either of you, you can both speak it out and be honest.
You feel okay with being vulnerable around him, and so does he. There are no secrets between you, which signifies a good man in a relationship.
Now when we say confidence, please understand the difference between being confident and being arrogant. Someone confident is aware of their strengths and flaws and knows how to be humble with them.
A man that is confident about what he brings to the table will be secure in their relationship with you, in turn affecting the relationship positively. A guy that knows the difference between being cocky and being confident is one you must hold on to.
A mature guy is a good one to be in a relationship with.
There are no petty games or “revenge.” He knows how to communicate and talk like a mature adult and does so. He’s a good man that knows how to speak his heart out and does not fear being emotionally mature.
He’s never had his guard up, and even if he did, he puts it down for you.
Silver linings in the clouds may get tough to see, but he always searches for them. He looks at the brighter side and helps you see it too.
Now when we say he’s optimistic, you must know that being optimistic in all situations is not always a good thing. Yes, you read that right!
Sometimes acknowledging your negative feelings may get tough if you wish to always be optimistic. Instead, you must recognize your negative emotions and work your way through them. So if he’s one of those people that knows how to do this, you’ve hit the lucky jackpot!
Kindness is such an attractive and essential quality, and if your man’s got it, he’s a good one. A good man is kind, not just to you but to everyone in his life.
Kindness goes a long way, and when you find a man that’s kind, you’ll experience a love like no other. Kind men know how to be soft and polite and, in general, possess other good qualities as well.
If he tells you how he feels to have you and values and appreciates you, that is one good man you got there, girl!
He treats you like a queen and always goes out of his way to put in the effort; that’s how you know he values you. He makes sure never to be late and opens doors for you. The tiniest efforts go a long way in making someone feel like you appreciate their presence. He makes sure you know he appreciates you.
Hear us out on this one, a good man in a relationship is one that knows the difference between being caring, being protective, and being insecure.
A good man that is protective of you will make sure you’re safe when you’re not at home. He stays in touch with you when you’re out and keeps checking to see if you’re okay.
For instance, think of it like this: A protective man wants you to wear a jacket over your top because it’s cold outside, while an insecure one wants you to wear a jacket because he thinks you’re showing “too much” skin.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life being serious and never laughing out loud.
Be with a guy who makes you giggle in situations you’re not supposed to be laughing in. If he’s trying to make things funny to calm you down in the middle of a very heated argument, he’s trying his best. He’s just a keeper!
He has big plans for himself and the both of you. He sets goals and achieves them. He moves forward strategically and is successful in his endeavors.
An ambitious man is always the right choice for a relationship because he is motivated and focused, and he will also make sure you are motivated to do better.
It’s easy to become a better version of yourself when someone is trying to do the same thing for themselves with you by their side. He’s working on himself while you’re working on you.
Even when he might be raging with anger, he is calm and knows how to control his emotions. He understands that a relationship is supposed to bring you peace and happiness and not add stress to your life.
His presence makes you feel peaceful, and there is an aura of calmness around him. He makes everything around him seem softer and more serene.
This is one of the most important qualities for a good man in a relationship. A good man in a relationship is romantic and knows how to make you feel loved.
There’s never a day when you don’t feel loved when you’re with him. Romance is necessary to keep any relationship happy and peaceful in the long run, and it is one of the easiest ways to make a relationship last.
No matter how much you communicate, ultimately, it depends on the other person to understand and work on what you say.
A good listener is someone that not only acknowledges what you’re saying but actively participates in the conversation. It is also important for your partner to be understanding.
Long-term relationships require a lot of forgiveness and patience. If you want to make a relationship work, you must be patient.
You must understand that each rose has thorns and that no one can be perfect. If he understands this, he’s a good man with whom you should be in a relationship.
A good man in a relationship is thoughtful. He thinks before he brings you a gift, and you can tell he puts in efforts for you.
For instance, if you mentioned liking a particular perfume to him once in a passing conversation and he brings that perfume for you as a gift, that gift is considered thoughtful.
Note for all the men reading this blog: anything handmade as a gift is also considered quite meaningful and thoughtful in a relationship.
It sounds a little weird right now, doesn’t it? Let us explain.
If his whole life revolves around you, he’s got no time for his passions, and he lacks ambition and is clinging on to you 24X7.
A good man in a relationship gives you just enough space to be yourself while doing his own thing. Sometimes it’s a good thing to take time away from each other, and if the both of you don’t hesitate to do that, we’ve got some good news for you!
He knows the world could give you a thousand reasons not to believe something nice, but he couldn’t care less. He doesn’t care for stereotypes or even seeming like a good “boyfriend”/ “husband” to other people.
He knows what you care about, and that’s all that concerns him. If he doesn’t care about looking nice in the eyes of anyone else but you, he’s a good man to be in a relationship with.
He knows how to conduct himself around your family and friends. He treats you well and is a gentleman.
A good guy to be in a relationship with harbors manners and treats you with respect and courtesy. It may be in the little gestures like helping you fix your dress or how he’s never looking at his phone when talking to you. Bestie, always look for the small signs; they can guide you towards big decisions!
This point may be a subjective one. If both of you have similar mindsets and view things from the same perspective, it will get easier for you to be in a relationship with him.
Now, we’re not saying there must be no differences. There can be differences in opinions, but you must also accept these differences. For instance, if you’re thinking he wants a future with you, and he thinks he doesn’t, he may be a good man, just not one for you.
If he’s a good one, make sure you are too. A relationship can make or break a home, be careful to choose a good one when you decide to be in a relationship.
While these qualities may seem far-fetched to be possessed by one person, they might not be. Take a closer look, and we’re sure you’ll find whatever it is you’re looking for, and if you’ve already found him, congrats!
Ask yourself the following questions if you still haven’t found your answers:
Asking these questions can protect you from many heartaches later in the relationship. After all, you know, his good looks will not decide your future with him; his qualities and how he makes you feel will.
While relationships are complicated, what qualities a man must possess to be considered a good one in a relationship are not so much like that. Relationships are a balance of equal love and effort from both ends.
When you understand that his qualities hold far more weight than his looks, you will know where to look and why. What matters is how well he treats you and how much he loves you at the end of the day.
Balance out your pros and cons before you enter a healthy relationship. We know that love cannot always be weighed into pros and cons, but your future can. So, consider that before you slide the glass shoe under his feet.
Your Sun, Moon, and Rising, also known as the Big Three, work together to create your personality. Similar to Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytical theory, the Id, Ego, and Super-ego reflect our behaviors and personality traits. Astrology and psychoanalytical theory side by side serve as a blueprint to guide and understand the self.
Starting with the Sun, the sign we are most familiar with is the sign your birthday falls under. The Sun represents our soul and the core of who we are as an individual. This relates to Freud’s psychoanalytical theory of the Ego. The Ego relates to the self or I. The Ego helps us digest the world around us and develop the core of who we are. Your Sun and Ego work together to sift through reality and make sense of our thoughts.
The Moon conveys our deepest emotions and how we react to situations. The Moon correlates with the Id. The Id works in the deep subconscious of our mind and Freud theorized that it is the first ego to exist at birth since it relates to our basic instincts.
The Ascendant, or Rising, is the astrological sign that was rising over the Eastern horizon at the exact time of your birth. The Ascendant is known to portray our physical attributes and the energy we exude when connecting with other humans. The Super-ego acts as a self-critical judge and is present in the mind during our waking consciousness.
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Examples:
Aries Sun/Ego: A favorable placement that rests in the present and works harmoniously with the Ego.
Aries Moon/Id: A complex placement that rests in the future and urges the Id to work faster.
Aries Rising/Super-ego: A favorable placement that aligns with the Super-ego to achieve goals.
Taurus Sun/Ego: A harmonious placement that works well to understand the beauty of life.
Taurus Moon/Id: A complex placement that lives in the past and exists to seek pleasure.
Taurus Rising/Super-ego: A gentle placement that works to ground and humble the ego.
Gemini Sun/Ego: A fast-paced placement that lives within the past, present, and future, the individual can feel the push and pull of the Ego switching between lifestyles, emotions, and projects.
Gemini Moon/Id: A complex placement that causes the Ego focus on the instincts of the self.
Gemini Rising/Super-ego: A harmonious placement that allows the Super-ego to understand and read people and situations quickly and attain their objectives and goals.
Cancer Sun/Ego: A complex placement that keeps the Ego living in the past.
Cancer Moon/Id: A harmonious placement that slips in and out of understanding human emotion and reality at the same time.
Cancer Rising/Super-ego: A gentle placement that works with the Super-ego to create a consciousness of the self’s emotions and others’ emotions.
Leo Sun/Ego: A favorable placement where the Ego is heightened with creativity and mental fortitude.
Leo Moon/Id: A complex placement where the Id is forced to convey its primal instincts through emotional outbursts.
Leo Rising/Super-ego: A flashy placement where the Super-ego works to convey life through performance and praise.
Virgo Sun/Ego: A complex placement where the Ego struggles to live in the present due to the Sun’s need for over-processing reality.
Virgo Moon/Id: A complex placement where the Id lives in the past and overanalyzes the behaviors of the self and others.
Virgo Rising/Super-ego: A favorable placement where the Super-ego plans and organizes life through a critical lens.
Libra Sun/Ego: A complex placement where the Ego is concerned with living in the past and struggles to make decisions.
Libra Moon/Id: A harmonious placement where the Id strives to create a balanced and idealistic reality for the self and for others.
Libra Rising/Super-ego: A favorable placement where the Super-ego will live in the present with strong morals.
Scorpio Sun/Ego: A favorable placement where the Ego acknowledges the primal instincts of the self and others and either uses that against themselves or others.
Scorpio Moon/Id: A complex placement where the Id focuses on the past and uses emotions as a weapon.
Scorpio Rising/Super-ego: A favorable placement where the Super-ego lives in the present and accepts the depth of emotions and uses emotions to their advantage.
Sagittarius Sun/Ego: A fast-paced placement where the Ego is forced to exist in multiple realities.
Sagittarius Moon/Id: A complex placement where the Id feels uncomfortable with emotional outbursts and primal behaviors.
Sagittarius Rising/Super-ego: A favorable placement where the Super-ego lives in the future and exhibits socially acceptable behavior and has plenty of friendships.
Capricorn Sun/Ego: A favorable placement where the Ego lives within reality and works with the Sun to satisfy dreams and goals.
Capricorn Moon/Id: A complex placement where the Id is forced to come face-to-face with emotions and accept faults and errors of the self and of others.
Capricorn Rising/Super-ego: A harmonious placement where the Super-ego works with the Ascendant to exist in reality.
Aquarius Sun/Ego: A complex placement where the Ego is forced to look inward and outward at the world and the self.
Aquarius Moon/Id: A misunderstood/complex placement that struggles to understand emotions and chooses to detach from painful situations. The Id works against itself in this placement where the Moon wants to help and be a humanitarian but the Id fears emotions.
Aquarius Rising/Super-ego: A harmonious placement where the Super-ego is comfortable with emotions and accepts hardship as a chance to grow.
Pisces Sun/Ego: A complex placement that forces the Ego to live in the past, present, and future giving the individual a dreamy illusion of reality. The Sun works to understand the self while the Ego fears the self.
Pisces Moon/Id: A harmonious placement where the Id lives in the past and present and is comfortable with the self and with others.
Pisces Rising/Super-ego: A harmonious placement where the Super-ego works as a psychologist and naturally understands the self and others.
A liquid love letter
Harpsichord strings
Film snapshot memories
Fresh flowered springs
Laughing into tears
A task completely done
The line behind the sea
Where the moon kisses the sun
Biking to the farmers market
With baskets of flowers in hand
Looking at the moonlit sky
Where under stars we’d stand
Glazed with the glow of April rain
Gazing at loud street lights
Relaxed, rather than resigned
While breezes tug on diamond kites
Yet these moments,
excavated from imagination,
Are schemas of love
Born by creation.
Memories you made me
Were placed underground
In the garden of my times with you,
The real ones aren’t around.
Delusion keeps me sane,
Truth turns me frantic,
So I force the belief
that you make life romantic.
No one wants to see their employees leave. But the truth is, it happens all too often. Whether they are quitting because of burnout or just looking for something new, turnover can be expensive and demoralizing.
This article will explore common reasons why workers quit and what you can do to keep them around!
Low pay
We’ll start with the most obvious reason that people quit their jobs: money! While this may seem like an easy fix, it’s not always so simple. The issue of low pay is often more complex than just offering a higher salary to compensate for what workers are getting now. Factors such as the high cost of living or the lack of high-paying positions in their field can force employees to take a job with less pay just for the sake of advancing.
What you should do: Take into consideration factors such as cost-of-living when determining an appropriate salary. You don’t want to lose your best talent because they feel like they are not paid fairly! Also, be sure to offer their salary at the higher end of your pay range when making a competitive offer. This will show that you value them and are willing to work with them for what they deserve.
What employees want: Though it may seem obvious, employees appreciate being paid fairly for their hard work! They also enjoy feeling like they are a valuable part of your company and that you truly value them.
What employees don’t want: Employees do not like feeling undervalued by their employer. If they feel like the work they put in is not valued, or if their salary falls on the lower end for similar positions at other companies, they will be more likely to leave.
What you should do: Be clear about the value of their work and why they are a valuable part of your team! This can come in many forms, from celebrating milestones together to creating an environment that makes employees feel appreciated every day.
Unclear Expectations
The second most common reason employees quit is that they feel like their role is undefined and unclear. This can result in feeling frustrated or unmotivated, which eventually leads to quitting as a solution for this personal dissatisfaction.
What you should do: Create clear expectations right from the start! Set up an onboarding process that clearly outlines the goals of their role, including specific objectives they are expected to meet. This should also include a clear timeline for these expectations, so employees know how long it will take them to accomplish certain tasks.
What employees want: Employees want feedback! They need to know if they are meeting your expectations and what you would like to see from them. If they feel like their work is going unnoticed or are not willing to provide feedback about how they can improve, it will be harder for them to stay motivated and engaged with your company.
What employees don’t want: Employees do not enjoy feeling lost or confused in their role at the company. They want to feel like they are an important part of your team and that you value their work. If they do not receive this feedback, it will be difficult for them to stay motivated and interested in the company.
What you should do: Provide regular and clear feedback on their performance and progress towards goals! This can come through a formal review process or more casual check-ins, but they need this feedback to feel like an important part of the company.
Lack of Recognition
Another reason employees quit is that they feel like their hard work and contributions are not being recognized. This can be due to many things, including failing to receive a promotion or feeling that their work does not matter. Whatever it may be, lack of recognition will eventually lead them to look for opportunities elsewhere where their hard work is appreciated.
What you should do: Make sure that your employees know how important they are to the company and what a difference their work makes! This can be done through celebrations for milestones, small rewards on a more regular basis, or offering positive feedback when well deserved. Also, make sure to have an open-door policy. This will allow your employees to feel comfortable coming to you with concerns or issues if they are not recognized.
What employees want: Employees want to know that their work is valued! If they don’t feel like the company cares about them or that what they do impacts the company’s success, it can be frustrating and demotivating.
What employees don’t want: Employees do not like feeling unappreciated for their work! If they feel undervalued or unrecognized, they can look elsewhere where they will be appreciated more.
What you should do: Make sure your employees know how valuable and important their role is! This includes showing them how their work has an impact on the success of your company. Celebrate milestones together, offer regular feedback and rewards for good performance or hard work, and have an open-door policy to ensure they can come to you with any concerns they may have.
They praise war hero’s because they conquer by brutal force,
blood measures the heart of a hero.
But land stained in red cares not;
how many men slain by a sword;
mother earth is a giver and a lover to all.
When greed destroys, she adapts.
When you invest in her, she gives tenfold.
It’s not her nature to withhold and covet;
that is the free will of man.
She’s full of wisdom, broad as an eagle’s wing.
She’s the wind beneath feathers;
she’s the rain that heals.
She’s intuitive; she’s powerful though invisible.
She is commanding, but she doesn’t wail.
She’s overlooked, but she never fades.
But when the earthquakes, we feel her.
The Woman. Our Mother.
She has a far greater purpose than flesh and gold.
She’s the womb of life; she’s the creator of souls.
She holds the world together.
She brings order to chaos.
She’s selfless; without her, love would have conditions.
Without her, evil would rule.
She is God. She is an Angel.
She is a woman, divine and pure.
I’m holding
These memories painfully crushing my dawns,
When freedom was caging in terrors’ homelands.
For finding the pace, the truth, the solace,
I’m fully aware I might need to dare
Admitting my pain, again and again,
Waltzing together in this stormy weather,
So, we can both tie releasing the cry.
Accepting the past, the smog, and the dust.
I’m strong as a feather,
Yet able to bend for reaching the end
Of what fears penned.
I’m holding
The lands of my thoughts, connecting the dots
Between shadows’ tones, while running alone
Away from the dark, still carrying the mark
Of murdering threat… Forgive, not forget.
Yet learning to spell the peace out its shell.
Connecting to the world without meeting a person, in any place without being there.
Commonalities all linked together for the next or all to observe.
We can all participate without seeing or knowing one another, the community – Hashtag.
Connecting with a community you do not know, have not seen but sharing the same thoughts and ideas – Hashtag.
Unlimited communication, connections, no time limit – Hashtag.
Blocking your ex when you guys break up is like giving yourself a clean slate. It’s a way of saying that you’re moving on with your life and that you’re ready to start afresh. But sometimes, even after breaking up, there are certain instances when you can’t help but wonder if you did the right thing.
In fact, it might even be one of the hardest things to do after a breakup.
Sure, there are some people who seem to do it effortlessly and never look back, but for most of us, it’s a lot harder than it looks.
Dating back in the day, you could cut them off your life and not see them again with no problems. However, in today’s modern dating, it does not work like that.
We are more interconnected than ever before, making it very hard to not want to check up on your ex.
Social media platforms can make it easy for you to stalk your ex. You can see what they are doing, who they are talking to, and even where they are. This can be tough if you have recently broken up and are trying to move on.
If you have gone through a breakup and are having trouble letting go or if you need some reasons that what you need was indeed the right thing to do (not the right thing to do), here are nine reasons whether you did the right thing (and 5 reasons you may have made a mistake!)
Why do people block their exes?
The blocking of an ex is a way for people to move on from the relationship. When someone blocks their former partner, it means they have consciously chosen not to hear from that person or see anything related to them online whatsoever for whatever reason it may have been.
It is said that people will do anything to give themselves a clean slate. They may not want their exes around, and they’ll block them on social media if needed be to start fresh.
They don’t want their ex to know what they’ve been up to and they shouldn’t! They are living their best life with their new person.
Blocking them is a way to protect themselves from any possible harassment that their ex may dish out. You deserve your space and should not have to deal with anything negative from your ex.
This is the most common reason. People usually block their exes when they are still hung up on them and cannot move on. They may want to keep tabs on them, but it isn’t healthy for them, so they take out any emotional involvement.
Blocking them will prevent any communication from happening. If you are sure about your decision to break up, then don’t let them talk you out of it.
Blocking your ex could help you get closure on the relationship. It may be hard to achieve if you are still talking to them or seeing them online. But, if you block them, it can give you a sense of finality about the situation
Some people are still in their immature phases, and they will use this opportunity to play with their feelings. They will try to get a reaction by doing something like this, and it is not worth your energy or time.
On the other hand, some people do have really healthy break ups, and they may choose to stay friends with their exes and not block them or there is hope that the relationship is salvage.
Here are some reasons why blocking your ex may not be the best idea:
If you want to be friends with your ex, then you should not block them. Blocking them will only make things harder and may ruin any chance of repairing the relationship. However, you need to make sure you’ve healed for this to happen.
If you are hoping to getting back together with your ex, then blocking them is not the way to go. You need to communicate with them and talk about what went wrong and try to work things out. However, if they are the one that broke up with you, then it may be best to know your worth and move on.
If you and your ex share the same friend circle, then blocking them may not be the best idea. It can get pretty awkward if you run into them at a party or something. If you’re really not ready to see or talk to them yet, then it might be better to stay away from places where you know they’ll be.
If you had a healthy break up, then there is no need to block your ex. You can stay friends and keep in touch. In fact, it might be beneficial for the both of you to remain friends so you can support each other when needed.
If you need time and space to think things over, then tell your ex that you need some time apart and explain why. If they are truly understanding, then they will give you the space you need and won’t contact you during that time. If they do contact you, then politely remind them that you need some time alone and if they are not respecting that, then block them.
Whether you choose or not too it’s ultimately your decision, but if you feel like your ex is affecting you in any way like the reasons listed below, then you should take action with your ex to block him and move on.
If your ex cheated on you, then it is a good idea to block them. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life, and it’s best to move on. Getting cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world, and you don’t need that person to be a part of your life anymore.
If your ex was emotionally abusive, then it is definitely a good idea to block them from your life. This type of behavior is not healthy and you deserve someone who will respect you and treat you with respect.
There is no room for toxicity in your life, and if your ex is being toxic, then it is time for them to leave. If they are trying to control you or if they are making you feel bad about yourself, then it is definitely time to say goodbye.
If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, then it is. Block and move on.
This is a toxic cycle, and it’s never going to end.
You shouldn’t feel bad about doing something that you know will help you. If the reason you haven’t blocked them is that you feel bad, then you need to learn how to set boundaries with your ex.
If they broke up with you first and are now trying to come back, then they don’t deserve you. They showed you they weren’t ready for a committed relationship, and they shouldn’t expect you to take them back.
If you are asking yourself the question, “Should I block my Ex” Please remember that these are all valid reasons to block your ex. If any of these sound like something you are going through, then it is time to take action and block your ex. It’s never easy letting go of someone, but sometimes it is for the best.
Here is something to remember in the process:
While it may feel like your ex is everywhere you look, remember that social media only shows a snippet of someone’s life. It’s likely that your ex is doing just fine without you and doesn’t even realize you’ve blocked them.
It may seem like your ex has all the power in the relationship, but remember, you are in control of your own life. You get to choose who is in it and who isn’t.
It’s okay to move on from your ex and to start fresh. Blocking them doesn’t mean that you’re never going to talk to them again or that you hate them. It just means that you’re ready to move on with your life without them.
Remember that you deserve better than someone who doesn’t respect your decision to block them. You are worth so much more than that.
There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to move on from your ex. It doesn’t mean that you’re heartless or that you never loved them. It just means that you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life without them.
If they want to come back, they’ll find a way. However, you need to respect yourself enough to not let them back in if they’ve already shown that they’re not worthy of your time and energy.
If you get back together, then that’s great! But, make sure that this time around, both of you are ready for a committed relationship. Always believe that whatever is for you will never leave you, mistreat you, or will do anything to hurt you.
There is no set timeline for healing. Everyone heals at their own pace. Just make sure to be gentle with yourself and to take all the time you need. There is no timetable for healing, and you may experience different emotions at different times. But know that eventually, the pain will lessen and you will find happiness once again.
In the meantime, do what makes you happy! Spend time with friends and family, go out and explore your city, read books. We have an entire article on how to date yourself and self date ideas for your perfect day.
Please remember that your breakup happened for a reason. Never let your feelings impede a situation that you know no longer suits you. When you think of the question, “should I block my ex?” reflect on the situation and remember to always choose to put yourself first.
We’ve all had our fair share of failed relationships, out of which a lonely breakup was inevitable. Breakups are hands down the worst part of a relationship.
But we might fail to consider that they feel quite freeing for some people, especially those who found themselves stuck in a toxic relationship cycle.
Once you feel ready and have given yourself enough time to heal, there is nothing wrong with putting yourself out there. You need to make this decision for yourself and not rush.
Healing from a relationship requires patience and social support. It would be best to tell yourself that it’s okay to feel these emotions you’re feeling right now, and it will get better in time.
If you feel like it won’t, remember there’s always professional help available. Talking to a therapist will considerably help with your issues since they employ widely practiced techniques and maintain total confidentiality about anything and everything you might want to talk about.
Here are a few things you can do to help yourself feel a little less lonely after a painful breakup.
Your support system includes your family and friends that you fully trust to understand you.
When you know you have at least one person you trust entirely, reach out to them. It’s alright to confide in the ones you love and those that love you. It’ll take some time, but soon you’ll be able to adjust back into the single life.
If you want them to listen to your breakup, it’s best to be clear and talk to them about what is bothering you. Hanging out with your friends to do something fun together will help you take your mind off those concerns, even if it’s for a short while.
Understand that if you talk about it, you might feel lighter in your heart than if you’ve been bottling up all the emotions you’ve felt through this event.
A simple “Hey, would you like to hang out this weekend? I could use a distraction, and “it would be nice to go out for a while” could go a long way in helping you feel better.
When we get into relationships, friendships might take a back seat for most of us. It gets easy to forget about many friends or simply lose touch with them, especially when prioritizing your partner above everything.
If you haven’t been in contact with any of your friends for some reason, this is your chance to get back in touch with them. People may react to this in different ways, and it may seem like you’re only getting in touch with them for emotional support when you’re in a bad spot.
But saying something as simple as “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch lately, I’d like to catch up with you sometime soon if that’s okay?” will be great. Most times, your friendship will get back to what it was like no time has passed.
Routines are the perfect way to keep yourself distracted and busy while you do the emotional work—deal with your breakup.
Remember any days when you felt low and planned a few activities to feel productive and better? It’s a hack.
Making a routine will help you sort your activities for a specific period. For instance, many people often tend to get lonely during the night. If this is also the case for you, you might want to set a bedtime routine such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, doing your skincare, slipping into bed, reading a book for an hour, or listening to some relaxing music.
Set out a particular amount of time for yourself to do these activities and follow your routine every day.
While a therapist will help you do this better, you can learn to manage your thoughts by yourself to a certain extent.
The constant thought about your ex-partner may be daunting, but there are a few ways you can take control of these to a limit.
Healthy distractions may include getting yourself enrolled in a gym or a class for your favorite hobby or even a small DIY project.
While choosing distractions for yourself, ensure they are helpful to you and not harmful. It’s easy to get into harmful addictions and distractions, especially when you feel like you’re having a tough time coping with something on your own.
Examples of bad distractions are addictions, gambling, alcohol, excessive use of social media, etc.
Sometimes thinking about things that are bothering you can help you sort them out in your head. For instance, take 20 minutes every day to think about this event’s effect on you and your life.
If you have any of these thoughts later or earlier in the day, tell yourself, “I’ll think about this later.” In this way, you can slowly gain control of your thoughts, even the unwanted ones.
Multitasking may get overwhelming at times like these, so make sure you allow yourself enough time to deal with one thing at once. Focus on one thing before moving on to the next; this can help with your intrusive thoughts.
Mindfulness means being fully aware of your thoughts, emotions, and feelings that you are experiencing at any point in time. The practice of mindfulness has proven to help handle your thoughts and stop intrusive ones.
Some meditation has also been helpful with loneliness as it stops you from ruminating or overanalyzing.
Sometimes, we may find it difficult to open up to family or friends about our problems. In some cases, our friends and family don’t know how to provide the right kind of support. In cases like these, one can contact free listening services available online.
Free listening services have trained listeners as volunteers. They are not there to tell you what you must do. What they, in turn, do is listen to your issues with no judgment, making you feel heard and understood. These services are free, confidential, and easily accessible.
After a breakup, people tend to think that their social circle has shrunk. It might help to reach out and make new friends during this time.
Some ways in which you can make new friends are:
Making new friends will expand your social support, positively impacting your mental health.
One of the biggest advantages of the internet is that we’re all so much better connected than we were before. Online friendships are a good way to help yourself feel less lonely after a breakup.
A few ways through which you can make friends online are:
Online games are one of the easiest ways to make friends. The plus here is that these friends enjoy the same games as you.
Discord is an app that helps you meet like-minded people.
Join a forum or SubReddit that interests you.
Join groups on Facebook for topics you’re interested in or anything at all. There are a lot of random groups available on Facebook for diverse hobbies. You can join these to connect with similar people!
Moreover, you can find community support groups here, some of which are conducted online for those who wish to speak to others. The basic motive of a support group is to connect people with those that are going through similar experiences or dealing with similar issues.
Getting a pet is extremely helpful in feeling loved and less lonely. There is scientific evidence that owning a pet may help reduce feelings of loneliness to some extent.
Contact your local shelter for a pet dog or cat, or you can get a smaller animal like a hamster if you think you’re not ready. People often find companionship and a sense of comfort from their pets.
If you practice a particular religion, you could consider joining your local faith community. Many people feel a sense of belonging when they’re with a group of people who believe in the same principles.
The realization that your life revolved around your partner before your breakup is normal. Everything that you did may have had some connection with your partner. It’s okay, anyway, as self-sense is sometimes lost in a relationship.
After your breakup, you can better know yourself using different working ways. Some of these ways are:
Try something new and different that you’ve always wanted to try but didn’t get around for some reason? Now’s the perfect time to try it! Join some classes or watch videos online to learn a new hobby.
As a part of practicing mindfulness, it is recommended to keep a journal. A journal will help you deeply understand what and why you choose to focus on particular instances and what your experiences are like.
Who knows when you’re over with this process of healing? Reading your journal again may inspire you and help you get through a difficult time you may face later in life.
Identify what makes you feel better, reflect on your emotions and times you feel your best self, set goals, and repeat these tasks regularly for as long as possible.
It is very important to understand why you and your ex-partner broke up. Start with identifying the issues and problems you faced while making the relationship work.
Trying to help yourself heal from this event might get lonely, but remember to fight the urge to reach out to your ex-partner. Sometimes it’s best to leave the past in the past and not carry it forward with you in the future.
If you’re a person who has only recently broken up, you might feel like you have no one to hang out with or talk to. However, this experience is normal and will only help you better understand your relationship needs.
In this situation, you must take time to heal before you step into the turf of romantic relationships again. It’s worth the effort and pain, trust us.
Make sure you’re not dating again to fill a void but solely because you think you’re ready for it now. Remember that relationships require time and effort and if you’re willing to put in that, only then go ahead.
Therapists are trained professionals that help you deal with your feelings and emotions. The motive of therapy is to improve the standard of living and help an individual live a mentally healthy life ahead.
Many people understand themselves better in therapy, and a good therapist can also help you build your confidence.
Romantic love is a significant aspect of any individual’s life, but it is also of essence to realize that there is more to a person than their romantic relationships.
Living a meaningful life might sound like a cliche, but it means immersing yourself in all your experiences. Allow yourself to feel everything you do and understand that there’s always something to learn in all situations.
When you start understanding and living every moment to the fullest, you realize that relationships are just small parts of your life. There is a lot to live in than most of us compress ourselves to.
Reach out to new things, make new deals, and spend time enjoying every second of whatever you do.
There is a big difference between your understanding and reality. It is very common for people to think, ‘I should’ve done better after a breakup,’ and there is nothing wrong with that.
But you must understand that relationships end when they’re supposed to. The negative thoughts in your mind are not reality, and they are simply thoughts.
Some empowering beliefs to help you during this time:
You must tell yourself that a failed relationship does not mean there is something wrong with you. A failed relationship is nothing more than disconnecting from someone, which is most important when you both are not a good match.
Being single is 100 times better than being in a relationship with someone who does not match your energy or ways of living!
There seems to be a perceived timeline for getting married, getting into a relationship, or even having kids. This is not the truth or the right way of living our lives.
The truth is that all of us are built differently, and we take our time to do certain things in life. The same goes for finding love.
You won’t find it in every person you get in a relationship with, and it’s okay. You’re not running out of time to find love. Live freely and go with the flow; everything will naturally come your way.
You’re perfectly capable of being happy on your own. The idea that you’re only “complete” when you have a partner is outdated. Your happiness depends on you and not someone else.
As the common phrase goes, “There are always more fishes in the sea.” There is time for you to meet new people and experience new relationships. Tell yourself there are always more people out there.
It is completely okay to take your time and step into a relationship when you’re ready for it. Don’t get into a relationship because you’re lonely after your breakup or because you think all your friends are in a relationship. Get into one if you want, when you want.
Breaking up may feel like a major change in your life, and getting back into your old routine might be difficult. When it gets difficult, reaching out to people to talk about your problems can be helpful.
There is freedom being detached; accept it. It may get tough, but you’ll soon understand yourself better and even get back in touch with the old you. Discover new hobbies, experience new stories, and the right one will come along.
Your emotions are meant to be felt. Don’t bottle them until things get worse, and allow yourself to feel things. Understand that it’s only normal to feel lonely after a breakup. The sudden absence of your partner may be tough to come to terms with. However, things will get better in time.
Hold on to the sweet memories and lessons you’ve learned from this relationship, give yourself the time and space to heal from the pain of the ending, and come back stronger than ever.
To summarize, we’d like to say that acceptance is the first step towards healing. Accept that there has been a drastic change in your life but don’t forget that change is essential for growth.
All relationships have their highs and lows. One day you have all the lovely moments, and the next, you’re both arguing like there’s no tomorrow.
Well, we’re here to tell you that, as bizarre as this may sound, this scenario happens quite frequently in most relationships and that it’s normal to argue with your partner sometimes.
Disagreements and fights are bound to happen in any relationship, romantic or not. So when does the fighting or arguing turn into an issue? And how often do couples fight in a healthy relationship? We’ll tell you this through our article. Let’s dive right into it, shall we?
While there is no definite number of times that fighting in a relationship is considered unhealthy, there may be a few things other than the frequency that must be kept in mind.
Once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, all couples tend to start arguing, and we’re here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with that. We all want our relationships to be healthy, but let’s be honest, it’s no walk in the park.
It seems easy to share positive experiences, but when negative ones show up, we get concerned about our relationship. What you need to keep in mind during times like these is the question, ‘Do the positive experiences outweigh the negative ones?’
What the two of you, i.e., you and your partner, seem to argue about also plays a trivial role in considering how healthy an argument or fight is. It is also of essence to note what the conflict leads to and how it ends.
The frequency of the fighting or argument considered unhealthy may differ for every person. How often is “too often?”
This would depend on the individual perspective, and those who are part of the relationship determine it for themselves.
How often couples fight is not the most helpful predictor of their relationship’s health.
As unpleasant as fights or arguments might seem, it is of essence to note that these are often what help ease the communication barriers between partners. They seem to get to a shared understanding and find a solution together if the fight turns out to be productive.
A productive argument/fight may consist of open expression and a fruitful solution that both parties may have come to after careful consideration.
There are four behaviors any individual must avoid when they get into a fight with their partner. These are:
Stonewalling is when one partner or both put up emotional walls that become tough for the other party to climb. Stonewalling may take the form of avoiding conflict or shutting down your partner, which can be very harmful to the relationship in the long run.
Showing contempt simply means not respecting your partner or considering yourself superior to them. This proves exceptionally toxic when employed in arguments or fights, leading to a negative impact on the relationship.
Defensiveness is failing to take responsibility for your actions/behaviors that your partner says is an issue for them in the relationship. The opposite of this would be accepting your mistakes in a relationship and having the ability to say, “I’m sorry,” when you have hurt your partner in any way.
Instead of focusing on finding the solution in a fight, when partners start to focus more on attacking and pointing out the other person’s behavior in a rude manner, the behavior is called Criticizing.
Criticism can be positive or negative depending on how the person puts it forward and how it is interpreted by the other.
Other factors that indicate unhealthy arguments could be the type of argument styles that the partners seem to have. Partners with different argument styles often find difficulty in letting the fight come to a productive end.
For instance, if both partners have the same argument styles, such as conflict-avoidant, they are more likely to come to terms with a solution. Differently, this may not happen when one partner’s arguing style is conflict-avoidant and the second partner’s arguing style is emotional or passionate.
Attachment stress, in simpler words, could mean a strained emotional relationship between the partners.
Emotional bonds are strained when one individual feels like they cannot reach out to the other to seek comfort or reassurance in any form. When couples are faced with these situations, they tend to feel frustrated or irritated because of the communication barrier or wall that has been put up between them. Every action of your partner seems to be a trigger for a fight in cases like these.
These connection issues may take the form of surface-level issues like fighting over tiny things. These little things can even include one partner not doing the laundry or not calling the other partner to let them know they’ll be back home late.
One partner then becomes the Pursuing Partner, making an effort to reconnect and desires closeness. This partner then tends to complain or become emotionally reactive to pursue the closeness of the other.
The other partner, also known as the Withdrawer, will then pull back to avoid conflict. While it is well-intentioned, this behavior of the Withdrawer elevates the feeling of disconnection among the two partners, thus reinforcing the emotional and critical behavior of the Pursuing Partner.
This cycle can turn into a pretty toxic one if not handled in time. Each partner seems to react to the other’s behavior. We all tend to look to our partners to seek connection and comfort, and when this doesn’t happen, we try to reestablish closeness, even more, leading to more harmful behaviors in the relationship. Some couples may even get stuck in these toxic loops until the emotional bond is finally restored.
It is also essential to note that couples who don’t fight at all may not be necessarily happy; they just may be avoiding conflict. This may also mean that they have too much distance from each other or that they’re simply burnt out from trying to solve disputes.
The key in situations like these is to make sure your partner feels heard and loved, leading to a deeper connection and bond.
Experts often say that to understand how healthy an argument is, one needs to consider factors other than just the frequency of arguments. Two of these factors are the intensity and the level of the fighting.
The quality of the argument (what it is about) is a far better indicator of how often arguing is considered healthy. This will primarily entail its level and intensity, while quantity would comprise how often both partners tend to get into arguments with each other.
The tone and words spoken are all critical in considering the quality of fighting. These speak a lot more about how healthy or unhealthy the argument was.
Healthy arguments are often fair, acknowledged by both partners, and end on a productive note. The motive of these kinds of arguments is not to fight or win an argument; it is to find a solution to what the two of you are arguing about.
On the other hand, unhealthy arguments leave one person feeling inferior or like they’ve lost the argument after it ends.
A healthy argument is where one partner speaks about their concerns in the relationship, and the other partner respectfully listens to them.
As necessary it is to speak our minds, it is also crucial for the other person to listen to it. One must realize and respect each other’s points of view while in a relationship.
Arguing to talk is one thing and arguing to find a solution is another. If an argument between you and your partner ends in resolving the issue together, know that the argument was a productive one. It will only work towards making your relationship stronger.
Question: When the two of you argue, do you give the other person the space to talk while you listen? Do the two of you make sure to respect the other’s opinion, even if it may be different than your own?
Now might be an excellent time to evaluate these differences and your reaction to them. Being respectful also consists of not calling each other names and keeping your calm even in the heat of the moment.
The perspective you have about every argument or fight is something to be kept in mind. According to experts, fighting can strengthen your relationship if you look at it as an opportunity to communicate and grow.
Arguing can open the gates of communication if done correctly. In a survey study, it was found that couples that argue often are more likely to stay together. This is because they communicate more openly and grow together in the relationship. Changing your perspective can help significantly in all kinds of situations, especially romantic ones.
Respecting boundaries in a relationship can help set realistic expectations. If you’re aware of your partner’s physical/emotional triggers, make sure you respect them and don’t bring them up when you’re both fighting.
Knowing where to draw the line is an essential part of all relationships. Setting healthy boundaries to maintain individuality in a relationship goes a long way in strengthening communication and making disagreements healthy.
The level of comfort that you share with your partner makes sure you both feel safe while engaging in a productive argument. Both partners must have the ability to recognize their faults and mistakes and be able to say ‘sorry’ when deemed necessary. They must feel free to be themselves and state their opinions even while fighting.
Humor helps make any situation better. At times, one partner or both may employ humor to deflect, making the argument too serious or disrespectful for the other.
So when does it become unhealthy?
If the frequency does not matter much, how is one supposed to know how much fighting between a couple is considered healthy? When should you start getting concerned? Here’s when:
When an argument takes the form of imposition of control over one partner by the other, it turns unhealthy.
Both parties must be equally involved or at least actively state their opinions in the fight while at the same time listening to the other person for it to be considered healthy. It is considered unhealthy if one person is only complaining/ talking at all times.
When physical force is applied during an argument, it is an enormous red flag, and precisely, one that you cannot ignore.
Any form of physical force such as pushing, hitting, or throwing things is unhealthy in itself and as part of any argument. It turns toxic when any kind of physical pressure is involved.
When you start sensing disrespect in the argument, it may signify danger. Even when one is angry, one must be able to speak with respect and address their issues patiently in a fight.
Disrespect is often not tolerated by many people in relationships as they believe it may turn into an issue with setting and maintaining boundaries moving forward in the relationship.
Sexual abuse must never go unnoticed. If you and your partner get into a fight and it turns abusive in any form, sexual, physical, or even mental, it may be best to walk away.
While mental abuse is more brutal to realize when one is undergoing it, the signs of mental abuse such as gaslighting or talking down on one partner by the other must not be ignored or taken lightly.
If you feel like you have to ‘walk on eggshells’ during a fight, even when speaking about the issues you’re facing in the relationship, this might be a sign of the fight being unhealthy.
Please note that taking precautions not to trigger the other person’s insecurity is normal. What is not normal is feeling like you cannot speak your mind before your partner because they might react badly to it.
In such cases, it’s better to break up as it is not always bad to split.
The feeling of being dependent on one partner may stop the other partner from openly expressing their views. When one seems to be overly reliant on their partner, they might feel like they are obliged to listen to whatever their partner has to say or do.
This stops them from being their own person.
According to Niki Davis- Fainbloom, relationship and sexuality expert, couples who never openly disagree or fight do so because they don’t feel comfortable expressing their feelings or emotions fully.
She also says, “Making decisions with another person takes work and it is highly unlikely that two people will always agree on decisions about boundaries, relationships, politics and sometimes simply what to eat for dinner and when to leave social engagements.”
Occasional arguing is customary and even healthy to a certain extent. Therefore, what happens after the argument is over speaks more about whether a relationship is healthy or toxic.
In most healthy relationships, couples tend to argue and fight but then seem to move on and openly express their feelings of love and affection towards each other.
By saying all of this, what we mean is that there isn’t one answer about how often couples fight when they’re in a healthy relationship. How long the partners tend to ‘hold the grudge’ speaks more about how long the argument will go on and how healthy or toxic it is.
It doesn’t matter if they argue every day; healthy couples don’t hold on to the arguments and what was said during the fight. However, if you and your partner just cannot seem to let an argument go and you’re constantly
arguing, this could be viewed as a major sign of an unhealthy relationship.
When your partner seems to employ humor to deflate arguments, you may be fighting one minute and smiling the next. In cases like these, how often you argue cannot be seen as a determining factor in how unhealthy or healthy your relationship is.
The truth is there is no definite rule as to how much fighting in a relationship is considered healthy. What’s more important is what follows the argument. If you and your partner are willing to make amends, you’ll learn more about each other.
Arguments can be healthy or unhealthy depending upon the partners’ perspective and how open their lines of communication are. According to statistics, couples who argue effectively are ten times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who avoid addressing conflict.
And remember, not all fighting is harmful to the relationship.
I checked myself into a psych ward
Thinking the white of the walls would be like
A breath of fresh air after rainfall
The one white wall with the window
Gave me a sliver of the outside insanity
But the walls stood tall to offer protection
Against the anxiety but only for a second
The bed filled one half of the floor
Another quarter began to hold the chest of filled drawers
The once bare walls tried to claw their way out
From under vomit of picture frames
What was in the dark eventually came to light
When the lamp was held on a pedal stool
The psych ward began feeling like the one before
And when the mirror was introduced
I felt the need to move on to another room on the next floor
I stand before him
skin bare
basking in feelings of Earth,
my roots run deep
into Her
the dips in my skin
the same as veins in Her tree
you can’t love me,
I whisper
not as you are -
because my skin
is s a c r e d
protected
only certain eyes can see
only a soul can F e e l
and love
and appreciate
Me
my flesh forces you to abandon
all that you know
all that you perceive
as Beautiful
all that you believed
was Beautiful
I am painting, evasively, lines on the paper…
My thoughts mirror the overseas,
Marvels gather in me
Looking at how time is tying up
Magic into my forehead.
But my ego doesn’t want to perceive me.
Close to the borders of fire
A demon inside is chanting
A nazar, shaking my chin.
…I astray through the lines on the paper…
Bared stories invite me
To search more about myself,
On the thoughts’ darkness I twist
Wickets from ego phobia.
… I drive through lines on the paper…
A brilliant sight I’m dreaming and might
The colours of day will take it to light.
With spirits to play in mirrors away
The magical eyes do marvel the way.
One spot to create I’m dreaming and wait
To catch silver moons while glowing so great.
To draw all the dawns with joy and with peace
And craft shields of nights to a masterpiece.
I’m aiming to bright my darkness to light,
To tear fears apart ‘till get mornings right.
My dear, this rain drops fears from skies,
The bunch of clouds seems angry with world
At the forefront of silence,
Clumsily running between the sunsets,
No longer the time is captured in mind.
Those normal things we got them once
Written deep down in heart
Are facing today’s dilemmas
At the meeting with the burning wounds
Of mankind’s ambition.
This rain, my dear, cries in my hands,
Blinking the light reflection of eternity
Upon holiness insight. So far is dark outside.
I shall pray gazing at the peaks
Of an evolved planet, crushed by the dust,
For the angels to come and teach us
How peace is spelling in the heart,
With golden letters penning through
One’s faith, God’s love, and hope’s cart.