Love and Relationships

FIGHTING IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS

FIGHTING IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS Frustrations come from unmet expectations. I overheard this the other day and thought wow, preach. These unrealistic expectations for myself come from insecurities, society, and deep wounds. My insecurities say that I need to be as skinny as the ones in his past. Society expects my naked face to be rid of all impurities. The people that have cut me the deepest in my past spell out the words not enough with my tears, one after another. Each one less sorry than the last. The expectations I have for him come from the same three. My insecurities shout out “defend yourself, never let him win.” Society whispers foul suggestions that could only come from the darkest of evil. My past says start building your wall (no trump, walls aren’t the best in every situation.) ...

UNDERSTANDING TRUTHS AND WHEN THEY PROMISED FOREVER

UNDERSTANDING TRUTHS AND WHEN THEY PROMISED FOREVER We want to know the truth. We want people to be honest with us and to never be lied to. This desire to be aware completely of the true situation is what destroys us. The idea that truths are constant is what gives us a false perception of protection. Believing that the truth will always be so is what buries us under our blankets when it is not. Our thoughts and actions in situations are often controlled by this concept of truth. The concept that the truth will always be as we see it now. Unfortunately, it is this misunderstanding of truth that affects us the most. We take in what other people say and promise as the everlasting and undeniable reality, and we survive on this with no time frame considered. Whether they say that they love us,...

FINDING PRINCE CHARMING

FINDING PRINCE CHARMING I was a little girl who couldn’t stop dreaming, whose ideologies were pretty much shaped by the stories of Disney Princesses and who let herself believe that finding a Prince Charming, amongst all other pursuits in life, was an important task. I tried finding an Aladdin, or a Prince Eric in every guy I found interesting, and to my little self’s unfortunate disappointment, none of them showed any signs of trying to move out of the comfortably established friend-zone (looking back, neither did I). Yet, full of hope and determination, I didn’t give up. But my big, hopeful heart and my dreams were shattered when a classmate of mine pointed out that I was ugly and fat. The Princess in me died that day in ninth-grade recess. The mirror became an enemy, and my body became ...

WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

What makes you smile? Recently I was asked why I wasn’t bitter to be a mother yet, at my age. I am a 35-year-old single woman who believes in eternal families and raising happy, honest children. Why am I not bitter? Because I hope for my little family, and I hope for my happily ever after, always. What good does it do me if I’m unhappy and dwelling on something that isn’t YET mine? Why focus on the things I cannot control, the things that will ultimately destroy my belief in good things to come? I focus on the family that I DO have right now. My niece and nephews that love me unconditionally, they are my world and my joy. Although I didn’t give birth to them, I am loved one hundred percent by those sacred tiny humans. I smile because they accept me for who I am, with crazy hair, silly face...

MARRIAGE: THE ULTIMATE SELF-SACRIFICIAL CHOICE

Marriage: The Ultimate Self-Sacrificial Choice In just about six months I’ll be a married woman. It’s so weird to say that. We’ve picked out wedding invitations, my dress arrives in December, and everything’s coming together. I always thought planning a wedding was going to be the most stressful experience I’ve ever had, but it doesn’t even come close. Everything is surprisingly easy. Things just fall into place. I think a lot of it has to do with how little we care about the tiny details. I don’t care how fancy the table centerpieces are. I don’t care what color the chairs or table linens are. I don’t care if we have fake flowers versus real ones. I don’t care because, quite frankly, nobody else cares. Weddings get so hyped up and suddenly people are dropping $30,000 for one day. Whenever...

ON LOSING YOUR PERSON

On Losing Your “Person” Our idea of a good time was cradling a fifth of cheap vodka on the playground of our elementary school. There’s a bitterness that accompanies the nostalgia. The nostalgia comes in waves— tsunamis—in the wake of his retreat. Every memory washed over with a golden light; was it really that beautiful? The discomfort of our first (and only) kiss still feels so familiar. My lips so briefly on his in a dimly lit basement party, red solo cups absent. They were the first to brush his virgin tongue. We were still so innocent. At sixteen and fourteen, we laughed. It was funny, awkward, and everything a first kiss should have been, but for years now I have wondered what else could have come from that kiss. We began and ended our senior year of high school together. The night b...

LOVE, LIFE AND THIS OR THAT

Love, Life and This or That Ten years ago I decided to take a leap of faith and move to Columbus, Ohio. I met my then-boyfriend on a little site called MySpace. He invited me out for a visit and I fell in love with the city. I was living in San Diego at the time. But, before I get into that, I want to say how excited I am to have the opportunity to share my story with you: “Love, Life and This or That”. What I hope to accomplish with this article is to reach you in a way that can be considered inspirational—even encourage you on your journey through life. What happens to us in life is often more unexpected than what we plan or think we know. But, learning how to live and deal with the bumps along the way is key! It took me 20 years worth of ups and downs to have experienced my wake up call...

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