Love and Relationships

ME…MYSELF

I like to read, Yet don’t read books; I love to write, But unable to use heavy words; I love music, Yet an awful singer; I am a foodie, But can never taste well; I love to laugh around, Yet hide enormous tears inside; I’m having high goals, Yet carry a tedious posture; I want to live life, But struggle through every day and night;   Yes, I’m a sum of imperfect mess; But, You will fall for me, every time you’ll know me…   Author: Chandrima Mishra Email:  chandrima170516@gmail.com  Author Bio: A ragged mind, a lost soul, a deep thinker… looking for herself in this big world. Here to speak through the silence of words…penetrating your soul by it’s ecstasy. Link to websit...

WITHOUT YOU

You had a Bud Light in your hand and I had an X on mine. Our eyes met each other the second you walked through the door and in that moment I knew. Our love started in a bar but was only active in bedrooms or secrecy. My heart broke everytime I had to leave you because I always wanted more. You talked about going back home and you lit a flame inside my heart. I dreamed about going back with you and feeling the air fill my lungs like you always told me about. You blew out the flame every other weekend because you’d remind me of all of my flaws and take out your sadness on me. I always let you because I thought being sad together was better than apart. I kept a suitcase packed for the nights I needed to stay somewhere else. You always invited me back so I would never go far. I woke up t...

HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

Loving oneself is essential in order for us to show and appreciate the love of others.  Giving yourself the best treatment possible is not only a necessity it’s a requirement. Although, sometimes because of past relationships we forget how valuable we truly are.  We allow insignificant people to break us down.  Our soul and our spirit are the ones that suffer the most.  Even though we truly know our worth, our spirit doesn’t allow us to love ourselves the right way. In my personal experience, I have learned to say to hell with those people who choose to break my spirit because they will not have control over me any longer.  The mistake we make is giving someone that much control because we think they love us.  Our life is our own and we are the ones in the driver’s seat. ...

10 SIGNS YOU’RE A COUPLE WITH AN OLD SOUL

Contrary to popular belief, old souls aren’t simply people who prefer records to iTunes or books to Kindles. Instead, they’re people who are wise beyond their years with gumption to seek inner knowledge and spirituality. They are the ones you knew in Elementary school as the odd ones out, the loners, the kids who acted well beyond their age with a weirdly mature understanding of the world. With their extraordinary approach to life, old souls often love differently than their peers. However, when two manage to find one another, it’s a deep bond that’s nearly impossible to break. Here are 10 signs you’re just a couple of old souls: You don’t fool around with each other’s hearts. Playing with emotions is unappealing and you have no time or patience for thos...

THE WEDDING TOAST I WANT TO GIVE, BUT NEVER WILL

  I’m a writer. As in, I write everything down. My grocery list, my to-do list, my schedule for each day, and any words or phrases that I like.  My handbag houses three notebooks at all times, while countless memos fill my phone and sticky notes with chicken scratch have made permanent residence on my desk. This very article began in a red moleskin journal tucked between the beginnings of a social media calendar and a recipe for blueberry pancakes. And often times, when I’m waiting for coffee or attempting to avoid small talk in the check-out line, I’ll pull out a notebook or begin to scroll through my memos, and read through the things I’ve written down. Most recently, I found myself waiting in the Chicago airport during a thirty-minute layover, and a memo from New Year’s Eve 2016 ca...

LOVING AN ADDICT

  You’ll never know what it does to me; the same liquid that gives you courage burns my soul from the inside out like hot lava seeping through my veins. You want to ease the pain, make it better, stop feeling anything at all, so you keep drinking, keep numbing, keep punishing yourself. But you’re punishing me. Did you know the pain of loss could be felt long before a loved one is gone? Because I do. I know. Again and again and again I feel the loss when for but a moment I have dared to hope. Moments later, I have watched that hope collapse. Washed away once again by the river of addiction. You’ll never know how deep it cuts; the pain that comes with failing to save you. Failing to be enough to make you want to save yourself. I reach out, desperately wanting to feel the comfort of your...

FLOWERS

  So I have this flower that my ex boyfriend gave to me when we first met up and rekindled after meeting at a music festival. Honestly, that flower during our relationship in the beginning had many buds and bright colorful flowers. I would water the flowers and even when I forgot, they would still last. While our relationship started to disintegrate when we went long-distance, those buds started to fade and die out. I would keep watering that flower, and try to make it as beautiful as it once was, but now I realize you can’t force something that is not meant to be. During the last few months of our relationship there stood this one flower. When we broke up I just wanted to smash that flower and did not want it anymore because it reminded me of him, but now I realize I am that fl...

TO LIFELONG FRIENDSHIP

  You know what we would have done on a night like this? A nothing night. A no party night. A no work night? I’d have wandered over to your place or you to mine. We’d have done nothing, together. Nothing, like watching one of my roommates’ movies. You, going to bathroom halfway through. Forty-five minutes going by. It becoming clear you’re doing that thing again, where you talk to yourself in the mirror and disappear into some alternate reality. You found it much more real than this. Years later I’d visit you in London, a bad time for you. I saw someone touch your shoulder at a pub and you struggled not to cry. You hadn’t felt human contact in ages. You had everything in London; you had room to dream. It fell away and left you crying at even the faintest touch of something real. I rem...

CONFLICTS IN RELATIONSHIPS

  My own relationship got me thinking a lot lately. You know that feeling of almost capturing the ultimate truth, the meaning of life, and the endless desire to just contemplate on it a little harder. Predictably, I neither understood the meaning of life nor achieved enlightenment; but recently, I became able to word what was on my mind for the last couple of months. Sometimes you need to be alone to get better. Everything starts and ends with ourselves. Our relationships only reflect the inside of our heads. I don’t just mean romantic relationships, by the way, they just happen to be the most intense ones. So, if you are unhappy in a relationship, it is always due to unrealistic expectations. Either you expect the other person to be perfect and refuse to see the downsides (idealizati...

RAPE: SHOULD NOT BE FROM SOMEONE YOU LOVE

  I woke up and went to see my bff, Cathy* and her new baby, still in the hospital.  I told Cathy and her hub about a free concert only a few hours away. I mentioned that Dirk*, my husband, wanted to go, but we had our kids and no one to watch them. He was already at home, content with missing it, as we both would’ve been. My sister really wanted to go, as did I, and we were both already practically downtown. The rain had stopped, so, we went for it. We sang and danced in the crowd, as they put on a good show and sounded better than I would’ve expected. To be expected, when I got home, Dirk was upset. He wanted to go. He was upset to miss it. I knew he had wanted to go.  Frankly, I needed a break from him. I wanted to go with my sister, not my husband. He didn’t understand it. He was ...

ODE TO SINGLE CULTURE

  On the day I became single It was raining. each falling, opalescent raindrop was pregnant with a panoramic reflection of the bar where we sat. and you said i never remember anything. I recall how you asked me, there, on the porch of some uncrowded bar how I felt. How I felt to be “single” on this January night. Your words an injection of capsaicin smoldering and dying in scarlet hewn plumes of smoke. Seducing the ears of strangers. why are you single translated to “you aren’t wiping someone else’s come off your neck? you must be miserable” I pictured girls in stylish earth tone lingerie soft angles in chiaroscuro Women fluent in IKEA Couples probably on their way home to snort lines of pumpkin spice off of their upcycled coffee table. Couples on their way home To ignore ...

IT’S OKAY TO HAVE A MR. RIGHT NOW

One day, you’re going to wake up, so in love with the person laying next to you. You’re going to be over the moon, head over heels for the person you’re going to spend forever making memories with. The pieces of your heart will be mended back together and those guys who broke your heart throughout the years won’t matter in the slightest bit, and you’re going to thank God for not answering your pleading prayers about so and so after many sleepless nights. You won’t have to question if you’re good enough, you’ll know you are. You will feel complete and loved and oh so important. One day, all of this nonsense will have a purpose and all the heartaches or little love affairs will only be simple memories. However, today is not that day because we woke up in our empty bed, checking to see if the...

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