Love and Relationships

SPARKS AT SUNRISE

A flower blooms when it’s ready, not when we want. It blooms at its own pace. Sometimes we hurry and we want to get to “that” place, meet the person, start the relationship, have the job, etc.! But we fail to recognize that we’re already planted where we need to be. We find it difficult to thank our starting point because all we see is the lack of what we don’t have yet. That is why, in order to advance, we need to learn to be grateful. Being grateful is for the brave, and the only way to go forward is to recognize ourselves for what we are now; we need to shake off our expectations, polish our priorities and expand our inner gaze to realize that before looking for greatness outside, we need to feel great and full from within. There are some who believe in fate, in the moon, in...

FOR EVERY STRONG, BUT SENSITIVE WOMAN STILL LEARNING TO LOVE

You are a beautiful combination. You are passion and fierceness, a mouth that speaks openly and a heart that keeps beating, even through pain. You have loved before. You have loved wildly and freely. You have loved with every ounce of yourself and haven’t regretted it, not for a moment. And you will keep on loving, just as openly and fearlessly. You are the type of woman who finds strength in letting people in. You pride yourself in being open, not guarded. You have always kept your head on straight, even when following your heart. And it is in the way you care for people, but still value your self-worth that you are strong. You know who you are and how you love and you celebrate this. But you are also sensitive. You can’t help but fall a little too easily. You can’t keep yourself from get...

TO THE ONE WHO MIGHT JUST BREAK MY WALLS

To my person (if you really do exist beyond my imagination), I hope this letter reaches you when you are struggling to keep up with me but you are still bursting in the pink vibrant colours of health and energy. I wish you read this when most of your friends advise you to think about yourself, not about the girl who wouldn’t give her whole to you, who shies away from any kind of label or name. You see, love, you’re not the first guy who has tried to read me… who thought he knew what I was thinking of. And he couldn’t have been any more wrong than that; but you are not. You are too right for me, you are so very right and, to be honest, you scare me sometimes. Love, I am sorry. You should know this even when I don’t tell this to you enough. Even when you can’t fathom what I am apologizing fo...

SCREW RELATIONSHIP GOALS – WHAT’S THE POINT

Regardless of what social media platform you’re on, you’ve definitely seen people talking about #relationshipgoals. This infamous hashtag is almost always accompanied by pictures of flowers, gifts and happy couples. Let me be clear: I have nothing against someone wanting to express their love on social media. I enjoy giving my husband cute little shout-outs every now and then when I’m feeling particularly sentimental. However, there are just a few problems I have when it comes this popular phrase: The focus on material possessions. Jewelry, candy, flowers, clothes and even cars, there’s often an emphasis on what your partner can buy you, rather than the actual depth in the relationship. While the occasional gift is nice, goals shouldn’t be about what a guy can...

NEVER ENOUGH

Enough in Urban Dictionary is defined as: a word to describe a person of the opposite sex as good looking, beautiful, or hot. Enough, meaning he/she would be enough to suit your needs. How many of us have heard this from our partner? The one person who is supposed to make us feel secure and assure us that we are more than enough. Unfortunately, they are the ones who break us down one piece at a time. We literally feel each piece falling apart. After all we do, take care of his home, cook his dinner, wash his clothes, listen when he needs to tell us about his day, and make ourselves physically available. Even with all of this said and done it never seems to be enough. They always find something that we are lacking. Having experienced a fraction of the things I’m describing, I have com...

4 DATING BEHAVIORS YOU SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I need you to know that even in the murky area of dating that there are “right” and “wrong” ways of treating people – and some dating behaviours you should never accept. Sometimes there are no excuses and no justifications; sometimes your heart needs to hear a strong message: get out, stay safe and avoid anyone who shows up in your life and treats you in this way. Some days I wish I could walk back to my old classroom, take the slinky or pogs out of my 9-year-old hands, look myself in the eyes and tell myself everything I know now about what behaviour is OKAY and what is DEFINITELY NOT OKAY. I think as young women we are often given useless and intangible messages around love. From a strange osmosis of Disney, pop songs and phrases we hear other people saying it is ...

SHE

The greatest mistake she did was look at herself through his eyes. Why? The Lord Almighty had blessed her with pleasant features and character. Yet she saw her worth through his eyes. In the starting of her relationship with him. He called her ugly. She had become hurt and upset. But to make him happy. She began a journey towards weight loss. It wasn’t a journey towards physical change. It was a 360 turn of who she really was. He was sent as a lesson to her. Today she accepts that fact. But in the time she was with him. She broke herself and made herself. She questioned herself as to why she was handling his bullsh*t. And as why couldn’t he see her worth. She used to make excuses for his behavior. Justify to her heart that their might be a reason to his behaving with her like t...

SINGLENESS ISN’T WAITING

You’ve been waiting for this. You clicked on this link because you, your single and desperate self, need more advice on how to make Singleness worthwhile. “What’s wrong with me?” you ask, possibly scarfing chocolate and watching The Notebook. “Why am I still single? I must be doing Singleness wrong. Please, O Internet, tell me how to Single.” We all know there’s an exact science to Single. You do all the right things and eventually you magically bump into The One. Not intimidating at all, right? You have to get the formula exactly right, or else you’ll end up alone forever. You have to do exactly what those lists on Cosmopolitan and Pinterest blogs tell you to do. You have to read all those “Open Letters” on the Internet so you know exactly what is wrong with boys who won’t ask...

GOING BACK TO SCHOOL SAVED MY SOUL

Happiness isn’t always found through just romance. I wish I had learned this at a young age, but as someone who grew up on fairy tales and happily-ever-after’s—with stories of Prince Charmings rescuing the Princess—my young adult reality of relationships soon became twisted and distorted. And for seven years, I fooled myself into thinking my first very serious, on and off rollercoaster-ride-of-a-relationship was continuously worth fighting for. I just HAD to have that happily-ever-after. I was young; I was naïve. Simply put, I was too passive. To outsiders, my relationship probably seemed somewhat normal. But not all relationships are truly what they seem. In fact, mine was extremely toxic, and my past partner’s unhappiness and constant cynicism would drag me down throughout the years. All...

I HAVE TO SAVE MYSELF

I lay on the bed waiting for something to happen. We had talked about all sorts of fantasies in our relationship, but each day looked the same, luxuriating to the point of suffocation. He pulled the computer over to rest on his chest as he perused the internet, waiting for noise to stop downstairs so that he could potentially make his first meal after hours and hours of waiting, “I don’t want to go downstairs because there are people down there,” he would say, “I am not going down there.” I began to realize that I was waiting for something that was never going to come. Years could be filled up with this waiting: sitting on beds, looking over at a living corpse just waiting to rot and die, and for what? I was doing this to myself; I was choosing to take the easier way out, staying in a rela...

I HATE YOU

“I HATE YOU!” Hate is a more powerful feeling than love. It runs deeper, it affects the heart at a higher level and it can infect the soul, ultimately all your life. And just like love, hate takes two. All these consequences of hate, whether you are the one who feels or expresses it or the one who is targeted by it, depend on the level of love we have for the other person involved in the situation. When a stranger tells you how much they hate you, it shouldn’t mean much because you didn’t invest any love in them anyway. When a friend however, says the same, it can break your heart. You will relive in your head your good times and wonder what part of your history led to such harsh feelings. But when your husband tells you that he hates you…that can kill you. Not literally, but it can kill y...

STAR-CROSSED: NOT A LOVE STORY

We were in love once, But never at the same time. We were eighteen and I had him. Then we were nineteen and you had her. The summer before, I had lost him. Time marched on. We loved other people, And then you left the country for new opportunities. While you were gone, We both loved and lost some more.   I always joked that the stars didn’t align for us. Even still, words flowed between us. Letters floating through cyber-space. Thoughts tinged with unspoken love. Love we half-acknowledged. Love that wouldn’t, couldn’t, “be”.   In one of my last letters, I wrote: “I think I will always be a little bit in love with you.” And then I got married to the love of my life.   I have him now, And you have her. This is the way it has always been, and should be. But maybe… In another li...

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